Sunday, August 19, 2012

Draw the Line


I’ve written (Lightning Strikes) about going through IVf.  There were many parts of the story I didn’t tell.  One is that as we went through the steps to try to ascertain what the issue actually was, we had decided something early on.  If, in the end, the only way for me to get pregnant was IVF then we were done.  It's difficult physically and emotionally.  It is extremely expensive and not covered by insurance (Insurance Anyone), and the chances of pregnancy were really low, 15% at that time.  After going through so much, that was in fact our only option.  No matter how well thought-out our previous decision, when we hit that boundary, we pushed it aside.  It’s amazing how easily we ignored all our forethought and just kept right on going.


 I think that the reason we tend to redefine boundaries is because the circumstances that lead us to that point are so fluid.  When we decided not to do IVF there were still so many roads not yet explored, options we still thought were open.  We made a decision not knowing how we would truly feel if that was our only choice.  We didn’t realize that this experience was not a road.  It was waves.


 So many times over the years, I’ve tried to come to terms with the difference between redefining boundaries, pushing limits, and crossing lines.  How far do we go to accomplish our goals?


 When my son was a baby, he had a stuffed animal called Lambie. When we traveled Lambie went with us.  When he had surgery, Lambie went in with him and came out with a hospital bracelet too.  One time, when we were coming back from Marco Island, Lambie got lost at the airport.  I was panicked.  I retraced all of our steps, asked vendors, employees, gate agents.  No Lambie.  I had to call Mom on Marco (which was fortunately where Lambie was born).  She bought another Lambie and next-day-aired him to me.  I loaned Lambie-The-Second the bracelet that had been given to me during that surgery, and told some kind of story about Lambie getting a wash at the airport.  How far did I go to deceive my kid?  How many boundaries does that push?  And who could blame me?

Draw the Line | www.BakingInATornado.com | #family
Lambie

 When you’re a young adult, there are all kinds of lines that you suddenly realize you could cross.  Your freedom to brainpower ratio is, shall we say, not well balanced.  In fact, the older I get the worse my memory gets, yet I am unfortunate enough to remember exactly what I was like when I was a teenager.  It’s a time for pushing limits and redefining boundaries.  But it’s important that you know that whether you can or not, there are lines that you just don’t cross.

 Right now circumstances have me living in a box.  They are not really my circumstances, but they’ve got me in a box anyway.  That box is getting smaller and smaller, crowding me in.  I’m trying so hard to push the limits.  I’m trying so hard to redefine the boundaries. And although I’ve been told that before this is over I’ll have done a lot of things I don’t want to do, I’m trying so hard not to cross MY line.

Jello Waves | www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe
Jello Waves



Baking In A Tornado signature | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics





Jello Waves
                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com



Ingredients:
1 pkg jello, any flavor (my kids liked the blue)
1/2 cup water
12 large marshmallows

Directions:
*Grease an 8 X 11 glass dish.
*Place water in medium size bowl and microwave for 1 minute.
*Stir in jello until completely dissolved.  If not, return to microwave for 30 seconds and stir again.
*Add marshmallows and microwave for 1 minute.  Stir until they are dissolved.  Pour into dish.
*Refrigerate until firm, approx. 1 hour.
*Roll up using longer end.  Wrap in saran and refrigerate for about 30 minutes.
*Cut into individual pieces (cuts best using dental floss).
*Store in fridge.


26 comments:

  1. Interesting post, as well as "The lightning strike" post. I see what you're saying but I believe that boundaries are meant to be broken and/or redefined, lines can be erased (maybe in part) or redesigned and yes, we can go far to accomplish our goals AS LONG AS nobody gets hurt and we stay true to ourselves and our sanity!

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    1. I think that learning how and when and why to redefine and/or erase lines is what maturity is all about. I've been in a position when I felt I had to, or 2 wonderful boys wouldn't be alive. They are now in a position where they could push limits, but I don't know if they are able to make good choices as to when. I'm in a position where I don't want to but may have to...all different points in the spectum of life.

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  2. Good luck. Hope the week is good to you.

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    1. Kids are back in school so at least that gives me a little break.

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  3. Recently I have been struggling with time frames. I listened to someone put a very restricted timeline on themselves. One of the things was I couldn't do was put my thoughts into words. Tonight reading your post it did that. Thank-you

    Candice
    www.lillythroughthevalley.blogspot.ca

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    1. I hope it helped, this is something I struggle with frequently.

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  4. Sending hugs and smiles..Crossing lines are sometimes required of those who "live outside of the box"...Now I'm off to find dental floss to make jello waves. I have three kids and a husband and I'm probably the only one who knows where it is. Ugh. Hang in there.

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    1. So glad I can count on you to make me laugh! Thanks, I needed that.

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  5. Sometime when we have made decisions to do things a certain way we are not expecting that it will actually happen that way, so when we are faced with that reality we can't go through it that way, so we cross those lines. Does not make sense? We can only do the best that we can do. Take care.
    I have never heard of jello waves before. My kids would love these.

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    Replies
    1. It does make sense, things change and we have to adapt. Sometimes it's easy and sometimes it's not.

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  6. Great post. We all have our waves it is how we approach them that define us.

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  7. I've never seen jello made this way! Even my big kids would love this treat :)

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    1. The great thing is that you can choose your kids' favorite flavors, different ones each time!

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  8. I think that especially when it comes to out kids, lines aren't really that, erm, 'set in stone' lol. I have no issues with your lambie replacement and if I was in your boat I would do the same thing 10x over.

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    1. I agree, not set in stone. It's learning to be more fluid ourselves that's so difficult.

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  9. how cool!

    Have a wonderful week! Stop by nichollvincent.blogspot.com and say hello! :)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Nicholl, I'll be sure to stop by!

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  10. What a touching post. I love that you described boundaries so well. In life they are so hard and easy at the same time to live by. I also love you bought a second lambie! We have 3 of the exact same stuff for my son. You can never be to careful!

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    Replies
    1. It was self defense. If I hadn't bought another Lambie that kid never would have gone to bed again.

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  11. Sometimes we have to cross the boundaries and learn valuable lessons in the process, that's life!
    Anyway, that jello waves looks so yummy. Marshmallows, i love marshmallows!

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    1. I agree, the difficult part is teaching rules then having to break them. You have the maturity to decide when that's necessary, but the kids who are watching you may not.

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  12. The older I get the less things are black and white. Learning to live in the gray area. Sounds like a dull metaphor, gray and all,but it is really the thinking persons area. The media and politicians are trying so hard to make things black and white, and life in the end is just not that simple.

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    1. I honestly couldn't agree with you more. The real struggle is teaching "gray".

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  13. This post rings true to so many of us I am sure. Many times as adult we decide or feel it is necessary to cross these certain boundaries or lines we have put up for ourselves or our families. One thing we must be careful of is our children watching us do these acts. Be sure to be ready to explain and teach to your child.

    Thanks for linking up and following from Thursday's Blog Hop. Have a great evening. : )
    BTW...those jello Waves look pretty awesome!

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    1. Agreed. The hard part is the maturity level required to make good choices as to which situations lend themselves to crossing the line and under what conditions you cannot push the bondaries.

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