I got a letter in the mail recently. My boys got a good long laugh out of it. It was a solicitation for a magazine, a fairly daily occurrence in my (and probably most) houses. This one however offered me, by name mind you, a senior discount. Ouch. Really? You’re going to send me a letter that doesn’t just insult me but makes me a laughing stock in my own home and then you think I’m going to send you money? As marketing strategies go, this one s*cks (stinks).
The older my kids get, the more cunning they get about manipulating situations to their benefit. Not that this hasn’t always been the case, but how they go about it has, let’s just say, evolved. It used to take little effort to see through them. Not so much these days. At the point when I need my brain at its sharpest, it seems to be conspiring to fail me. The dreaded “senior moments” have not just arrived, they’re kicking my a$$ (butt).
Do you have any idea how much your impact is diminished when you have to stop a lecture because the name of the offense has escaped you? You try describing the offense so you don’t lose momentum, but the frustrated look on your face gives you away. You know you’ve lost the battle entirely when the guilty party laughingly provides the elusive word.
An example of how I recently spent a morning wasting my time: grabbed purse & keys, jumped in the car, went to drive up window at bank, drove to grocery store, parked, got out of car, got back in car, drove home, went in house, put on shoes.
Just to add to the “that’s not fair” of the whole situation: I have a son who’s a senior too, in High School. And this senior thing is working out quite differently for him. He has gained freedom this year, and as a result I have lost more. You see, his school has open-campus for seniors. This means that he can leave during his lunch time. Let me ask you this, with only ½ hour for lunch and the school only ½ mile up the street, where do you think he’s going to go? Wish I didn’t keep forgetting that I need to change the locks.
Caramel Apple Slices
©www.BakingInATornado.com
5.5 ounce packages of chewy caramels (I used Werthers), 1 package per apple
1 Tbsp water (per package of caramels)
Apples
Multicolored sprinkles
3/4 cups chocolate chips (per apple)
Directions:
*Core and slice apples into rounds and/or wedges.
*Lay apple pieces on paper towels, cover with another paper towel an press down. Apples need to be as dry as possilble.
*Lightly coat a sheet of wax paper with no-stick food spray.
*Work with one package of candy at a time so it doesn’t harden while trying to coat apples.
*In a microwave safe pie dish, put 1 package of unwrapped candies and 1 Tbsp water. Microwave for 40 seconds. Stir, continue at 10 second intervals until smooth.
* Dip apple slices, one at a time in the caramel. DON'T TOUCH THE CARAMEL, but turn the apple (I used a toothpick).
*Put onto wax paper, sprinkle with multicolored sprinkles. Repeat for the rest of the slices.
*If the caramel starts to harden before you’re done, put back into microwave at 10 second intervals until you can use it again.
*Repeat with the rest of the apples.
*Allow to set. They’ll set quicker in the refrigerator.
*Melt chocolate chips in microwave at 10 second intervals until you can stir them and they’re smooth.
*Drizzle the chocolate over the caramel apple slices. (I did dip a couple of apple slices just in the chocolate).
*These need to be eaten soon after making them as they are apple slices not whole apples.
*These need to be eaten soon after making them as they are apple slices not whole apples.
These sound awesome (and I'm sure that I would polish off all of the slices by myself! I've been following you on twitter but I guess not over here? I'm now following you on GFC and looking forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteThey really are good, and it's OK to eat them, they're apples after all!
DeleteThis worries me. I'm already like that because of my ADD! What will I be like as a senior? Scary, scary stuff. Maybe they will have perfected brain transplants by then.
ReplyDeleteIf they do, I'll be first in line.
DeleteI suppose it would be worth it if you could pick the donor! I wouldn't want just ANY brain. But then again, there are days when I would take whatever I can get!
DeleteI absolutely love that you went out without your shoes! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who has done this.
ReplyDeleteOh, you're hardly alone!
DeleteOh, tell me about it. The best forgetful moments I have is when I walk with purpose from the bedroom to the front-room (sitting room) and I suddenly stop because I have no idea what I was about to do. I then feel like a right idiot as for the next hour I am at a total loss as to why I am standing in the middle of a room scratching my head. Old age is no joke but I am glad that we are on the same page, and I can share it with you. ha ha ha .
ReplyDeleteI actually feel normal now. Great post. Ah, almost forget..... I'll be second in line for the brain transplant.
Haven't even offered them yet and it seems there's a long line forming for those future brain transplants.
DeleteOhhh girl, I don't know how old you are exactly but I can tell you I'll be 32 in December. (I think)
ReplyDeleteI have a horrible time remembering things all of the time. Where I put my keys, what I was doing or planning on doing when I went to the kitchen......etc. I'll start talking and completely forget the point I was trying to make. I'm blaming my memory loss on the amount of alcohol I consumed in my younger years while bartending. :) Whatever the reason is...it does suck! I can't imagine how it will be when I actually am a senior!
What I'm hoping for now is that I'll get to the point where I forget what I forgot.
DeleteHi Karen!! Your story made me laugh. I have come very close to getting in the car with slippers on, but realized it before it was too late lol.
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up with my NO RULES Weekend Blog Party!
Hope you have a great weekend :)
Paula
lifeasweknowitbypaula.blogspot.com
Thanks Paula, I guess everyone can relate in some way.
DeleteThe older I get, the more I relate to the scarecrow in Wizard of Oz: "If I Only Had A Brain..." My forgetfulness is frightening, to the point of writing everything down on Post-it notes, then forgetting where I stuck them. And yes, the teenagers just think this is hilarious--"Momma's goin' crazy!!" I keep reminding them that I may just "forget" to leave their names in my will. Maybe I'll just leave my earthly goods to my pug.
ReplyDeleteYour recipe looks amazing as always--if I camp out on your couch for a week and promise to clean your house, will you bake for me??? :-)
No couch necessary we have 2 spare bedrooms, take your choice. Trade cleaning for baking, you got it. I just need to replace my dead mixer ;(
DeleteI Love that your son gives you the answers during a punishment! As always you make me laugh!
ReplyDeleteThe question is: does he do it to help me or does he do it to mock me?
DeleteOHMYGOSH I was giggling through this entire post. I am not far behind you in the senior department lol
ReplyDeleteIt's funny till you get there . . .
DeleteLOL!!! I bet you wouldn't change the locks. This post is hilarious!!
ReplyDeleteI’m visiting from the No Rules Weekend Blog Party!
Seriously thinking about it!
DeleteI started having "senior moments" almost a year ago due to (wait a minute I forgot - seriously) iron deficiency anemia; one of the side effects is that the lack of oxygen in the blood cells may cause forgetfulness. Sometimes it isn't such a bad thing, LOL. So it should get pretty interesting around here when my true "senior moments" kick in.
ReplyDeleteJae Mac, I'm Just Sayin'...(Damn!)
Oh, maybe that's it, I just need more iron and then I should be back to my old self...or not.
DeleteLOL!!! I do forget stuff...so far, I've managed to hoist the blame onto my son, but I'm beginning to think he's getting suspicious now!!
ReplyDeleteYeah, unfortunately that strategy doesn't work as long as we'd like it to!
DeleteOh my! I'm glad my family members answer to whatever I call them. We'd never get anything done otherwise.
ReplyDeleteIt’s time for Merry Merry Munchies 2012. I’d love for you to come link up and check out the giveaways. http://diningwithdebbie.blogspot.com/2012/11/2012-merry-merry-munchies-1-sugared-nuts.html
Thanks
I hear you, I sometimes go down the list of names before I hit the right one too!
Deletewe'll try real hard to eat quickly
ReplyDeleteIf your house is anything like mine, NOTHING sweet lasts long!
Delete