Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Mommy or Mummy

NOTE: This post was originally published on 10-30-2012 on Scary Mommy.


Do you wonder if you’re not just a mommy but a mummy? If you were a mummy, would you know it? Would it feel any different? Because lately I HAVE been feeling different, decidedly not myself. Let’s see: lack of sleep, doing things I always swore I’d never do when I had kids, wearing ratty old clothes that someone has apparently used as a napkin. Yup, I’m a mummy. Are you? I’ve developed an amazingly accurate test to help you determine just that. Take it if you dare:

Mommy or Mummy - Bakinginatornado.com

#1: Do you stand in the shower wondering why your legs look no different after you shaved them and realize you never took the cap off of the razor?

#2: Do you, two hours later, wonder why you still have a splitting headache, then realize that there is a direct correlation between the efficacy of the medication and whether or not you’ve actually taken it? Leaving it on the counter appears to have no value.

#3: Do you find that you don’t want to go to the bathroom for fear of losing valuable caffeine?

#4: Would you, for a few minutes peace, wake your kids up and send them off hoping that they get all the way to school before they realize it’s Saturday?

#5: Have you done a recipe search “by ingredients” and wondered why there are no recipes using Valium?

#6: Have you ever “forgotten” that you grounded your child just so she/he’ll get the BLEEP out of the house?

#7: Do you find yourself unable to see the downside to robbing a bank? If you get away, you’ve got lots of money you can use to, well, get away. If you get caught, when in jail you get to approve (and deny) visitors.

#8: Have you ever used this phrase “go ask your father, and don’t you dare tell him I told you to.”

#9: After going out for a rare “Mom’s night out” have you ever found yourself sitting in the car in the driveway because you’re not going into that house until you’re positive the kids are sleeping?

#10: Do you ever tell your little ones it’s bed time 2 hours early because, what the heck, they can’t tell time?

Now count up how many times you’ve said “been there, done that” to the above and check your score:

Zero: Try again and tell the truth this time.
One: Did you think it was the kids who were making you feel ancient?
Two: I bet you’ve started walking around the house half asleep at night.
Three: You are obviously comatose. When you wake up you could be a mummy.
Four: Start buying lots of sheets, it’s fall now and you’ll want a new wardrobe.
Five and above: Answer the door, UPS is delivering your sarcophagus.

Go on, admit it, I’ve got you thinking. Now you need to let me know, what signs have you seen that you may be a mummy?

I’ll be back to check on your answers, and while you’re sharing I’ll be in the kitchen making my kids’ favorite cookies:

Mummy Cookies | www.BakingInATornado.com
Mummy Cookies

Click on this link to my original post for the recipe for Mummy Cookies.


Bakinginatornado.com

12 comments:

  1. I once shaved my left leg, forgot to shave my right, and didn't notice until the next time I shaved... a week later (in my defense, it was winter).

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    1. I'm impressed, that's one more leg than I shave in the winter.

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  2. Hah! Just yesterday I "lost" the meat thermometer. I later (after dinner was done and gone) found it on the kitchen island...right where I laid it hours earlier.

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    1. So frustrating, isn't it? Today I went to the store and got all kinds of things but forgot to look for the one thing I went in there for.

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  3. I am one that goes to the cupboard and when I get there I wonder what I was going to get.

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    Replies
    1. Another good one. And I'm sorry to say I'm no stranger to that one either.

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  4. oh my, I said yes to far too many of these, particularly #6, #9 and #10!! I've sent a good 4 or 5 minutes hunting the phone, only to realize I was ON IT. I do that one a lot. I've also been blow drying my hair before realizing I neglected to rinse the conditioner out. Yick. P.S. the mummy cookies are adorable!

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    Replies
    1. Both good ones. I've done the phone one too. Ah, the joys of motherhood.

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  5. Replies
    1. Darn, now you know and you'll be looking for it.

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  6. Thanks for the laughs! Some of these are pretty funny.I'm sure many mom's have "been there, done that"!

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    Replies
    1. I think you're probably right, we're all mummies.

      Delete

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