When something bangs in the house, or even outside for that matter, I need to know what it is. It’s not a curiosity thing, it’s more that the sooner I figure out what happened and what I need to do about it the better. Because when things are just left where they fall, it never ends well for me.
In my house we break into two groups; the checkers, which is me, and the ignorers, which consists of everyone else in the house.
Truth is, we could probably do three groups. I’m still all alone in the checker group. The boys are still ignorers and my husband would make up the third group, the I-didn’t-hear-anythingers. But in my book that still makes him an ignorer.
Sometimes it’s just a tree branch knocking against the house, sometimes it’s just young Mr. Visual/Spatial walking into walls, sometimes in the summer it’s the wind shutting a door. But if I hear it, the kids are going to ignore it, hubs is going to deny it and I’m going to head off and hunt it down.
Picture those old timey movies where the moron hears a noise and heads up the stairs alone oblivious to the fact that all the lights are out up there and there’s a guy in a mask with a knife in that room she’s about to enter. You’re sitting there yelling at the TV “don’t go up the stairs . . . DON’T go up the stairs . . . DO NOT GO UP THOSE STAIRS”. Yeah, that would be me you’d be yelling at.
OK, so all of this explanation is so you’ll understand exactly how I spent my day yesterday. My whole flippin’ day. While you went about your business, maybe doing laundry or errands, drinking coffee, watching TV, dealing with your kids, texting, playing around on social media or reading blogs, I was being driven nuts by one momentary elusive sound.
I was sitting on the couch early yesterday morning having a cup of coffee, checking my email and listening to the TV in the background when it happened. A bang. A loud one. In all honesty I can’t blame anyone in the family for not helping out this time as I was the only one home.
And really, it’s better when I’m alone because this is exactly what would have happened if I wasn’t:
Me: “What was that?”
Hubs: “What was what?”
So back to yesterday. I was positive it came from upstairs but I checked the main floor first. The Caramel Peanut Butter Kisses were cooling on the counter, laundry was in the dryer and no one’s phone was banging around in there with them for a change. Everything seemed fine so I headed upstairs.
Caramel Peanut Butter Kisses
Don’t worry, the lights were all working and there were no masked knife-wielders. But I also could not find what made that bang. No pictures off walls, no soap fallen in the showers, nothing out of place at all. And I have the kind of house where I’d know.
So all day I looked, came back to the couch and tried to convince myself that I hadn’t heard a bang, thought of new places to look, even searched the basement, checked and rechecked and rechecked. I could not find anything, all the while wondering how much bigger the disaster was becoming while I was not finding it. At least if I had found Michael Meyers I would have been able to put an end to all the looking. Probably would have been more to clean up, but then I wouldn’t be doing the cleaning, would I?
Finally, FINALLY, while looking in the kids’ bathroom linen closet for the fifty-seventh time, I looked on the floor under the bottom shelf and found the deodorant that had obviously jumped from an upper shelf earlier in the day just laying there minding its own business nonchalantly acting as though it hadn’t just cost me an entire day of hunting it down.
I think I’m on the wrong team. I need to join the bang ignorers because, face it, I am never going to get this day of my life back.
Caramel Peanut Butter Kisses
1 stick butter, softened
1 stick margarine, softened
1 cup brown sugar
½ cup white sugar (plus another 1/3 cup for rolling cookies)
½ cup Nutella
¾ cup Peanut Butter
1 tsp vanilla
2 ½ cups flour
¼ cup cornstarch
¾ tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
½ tsp baking powder
Approximately 60 Caramel Kisses (or can use Rolos)
*Cream butter, margarine and both sugars. Beat in the eggs, Nutella, peanut butter and vanilla. Mix in the flour, cornstarch, salt, baking soda and baking powder.
*Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for an hour.
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease your cookie sheets.
*Roll dough into approximately 60 balls. Roll the balls in the 1/3 cup sugar and place on baking sheets. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes.
*Immediately place a Kiss or Rolo in the center of each cookie. Remove from cookie sheet and allow the candy to set completely before storing.