Friday, March 28, 2014

Represent

One of College Boy’s closest friends’ father is our local Congressman. It’s a very weird position for me to be in, come election time, because the Congressman and I are on completely different ends of the spectrum in terms of our politics. I like him well enough, his wife too. His son has spent quite a bit of time in our house over the years and he’s a good kid.

But when it’s a year when his dad is running for re-election I always feel conflicted. I can’t vote for someone whose politics I don’t agree with, but I also don’t wish unemployment on this young man’s dad.

So here we are again, election time, and I’ve actually made an important decision. I think I should run. I mean why not, right? I need some posters, I can do that. I need a slogan, got that covered too. I don’t have a war chest but once people become familiar with my candidacy they’ll be standing in line to fill my chest with money (yeah, I probably could have worded that better).

Represent - Baking In A Tornado

OK, lets see where we stand:
Posters:  ✔
Slogan:  ✔
Now for my platform:

*Education: There will be no more school “snow days”. If it’s a weekday those kids are the teachers’ responsibility. I know I take a risk saying this but kids can’t vote so I’m going with it. Might have just lost the teacher contingent, though.

*Crime: I’m against it.

*Taxes: Here’s the deal, if you tax everything coming in and going out there’s not much left to stimulate the economy.

*Budget: I’m for accountability. Being from a family of accountants I know just how it’s done, we end government overspending. A broom does not cost $700 ~ denied. A toilet seat does not cost $2000 ~ denied. Go to BrawlMart.

*Political Reform: I believe in baked goods for all. No, this is not a bribe, that’s illegal. It’s a human right protected by the constitution. Look it up. If you find it, let me know.


 Confetti cookie bars with Berry Frosting - Baking In A Tornado
Confetti Cookie Bars with Berry Frosting


*Free Speech: If you have something nice to say, you should say it. If not, shut the he!! up.

*Bullying: The best way to stop bullying is by example. I’m prepared to introduce legislation distinguishing between religious entities and “churches” whose actions include public bullying of targeted segments of the population. You’re a church or a bully, not both. Pick one.

*Immigration: We need a do-over. Everyone who has or whose ancestors have immigrated to the US needs to go back to where their families came from. Whoever’s left can decide who comes back in. Hope the Native Americans let me back in. Until then I’ll be in Russia if you need me. 

*Women’s rights: Moms of teens will be provided anti-depressants. They will be free, will not require doctor’s visits and will be delivered to their homes.

*Energy: We are totally missing the boat here. We have all the energy we’ll ever need and it’s free. I pledge to put my efforts into funding research into whatever is necessary to bottle what every 2 year old has in excess.

*Hunger: There will be state financed food pantries on every main street. How will we pay for this? I really don’t care. No one goes hungry on my watch. No one.

I’ll let you know where to send your campaign contributions, OK?

My name is Tornado and I approve this message.
Baking In A Tornado





Confetti Cookie Bars with Berry Frosting
                                                   ©www.BakingInATornado.com


Ingredients, bars:
1 stick butter, softened
1 stick margarine, softened
¾ cups sugar
¼ cup powdered sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp almond extract
¼ tsp lemon extract
2 ¼ cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
½ tsp salt     
3/4 cup multicolored jimmies (sprinkles)
1/2 cup multicolored nonpareils
Ingredients, frosting:
8 oz cream cheese, softened
5 TBSP butter, softenend
4 cups powdered sugar
6 TBSP heavy cream
1 Packet (.22 oz) Berry Blue Kool-Aid
Multicolored nonpareils for decorating
 
Directions, bars:
*Grease a jellyroll pan. If you don’t have one, you can use a 9 X 13 pan but your bars will be thicker and you’ll have to bake them longer.
*Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
*Beat the butter and margarine until smooth.
*Beat in the sugar, powdered sugar, eggs, vanilla, lemon extract and almond extract.
*Mix in the flour, baking powder and salt until completely incorporated.
*Last, just barely mix in the nonpareils and sprinkles. You don’t want to break up the sprinkles or mix the nonpareils too much or they’ll color the dough.
Bake for approximately 15 minutes (longer for a 9 X 13 pan). Watch them, you don’t want them to brown.
*Cool completely before frosting.
Directions, frosting:
*Beat the cream cheese and butter until smooth. Mix in the powdered sugar just until incorporated.
*Beat in the heavy cream until incorporated.
*Beat in approximately ½ of the Kool-Aid packet. Taste the frosting and add more of the Kool-Aid, up to the whole packet, based on the amount of flavor that works for you. * Beat until spreading consistency.
*NOTE: if your frosting is too thick to spread, you can thin it by adding more cream. If it’s too thin, thicken it by adding more powdered sugar.

32 comments:

  1. I have voted for members of the opposite party that I knew where good moral people and after getting to know them I realized we had more beliefs in common and very few differences.
    I have got to stop visiting here when I'm hungry. I hope I have these ingredients.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, when we look we can often find more in common with others than we originally thought. But there are certain fundamental differences where I just don't see any common ground.

      Delete
  2. You've got my vote!

    Honestly, I wish I understood politics more, because I totally run.

    Sarah for President!!! No? Well I think it sounds nice....lol

    ReplyDelete
  3. These are totally cute-- love the frosting. What fun to make these with kids!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh, that is the best campaign platform I've heard. Ever. I am definitely voting for you! I'll be in Sweden. Will my vote reach you in Russia?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll have your absentee ballot sent from Russia to Sweden. Thanks for your vote!

      Delete
  5. Love all your policies so you have my vote….does it come with a cookie bar? Please?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Not only will I vote for you but I will move to your town so I can live like this AND I will donate every ounce of the twins' energy to your resource program. Congratulations.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'll stand behind every item on your platform! You're out of luck with the donations, though ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sprinkles and jimmies for world peace. That's all anyone needs to know

    ReplyDelete
  9. Karen, you should definitely run! I especially like your ideas on redirecting the toddler energy!
    Maybe if you used white icing and red and blue sprinkles, you could use those cookie bars during your campaign!
    Let me know when there is a T-Shirt I can wear to show my support!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll get a t-shirt to you as soon as someone contributes to my campaign and I can have them made. Don't hold your breath.

      Delete
  10. Replies
    1. Love that I can count on you. You won't be sorry.

      Delete
  11. Replies
    1. This is going so much better than I thought it would!

      Delete
  12. I'm all in... totally down with your 'Education' stance. Where do I vote??? Take care, Slu

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll let you know, glad I can count on you, should I send you a yard sign?

      Delete
  13. I like your poster and slogan. Very clever!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Michelle, I was hoping someone would appreciate my humor!

      Delete
  14. If you run on the Confetti Cake ticket you have my vote! One of your platforms should be "extra frosting for everyone"!

    ReplyDelete
  15. You've got my vote. I'll be electing you from Poland or Japan, but it sounds like I won't be alone. Food for everyone and free antidepressants? Amen, sister.

    ReplyDelete

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