Tuesday, April 21, 2015

By Any Other Name

Let me just start by saying that I did not see the recent prime time television interview of the 53 year old former teacher and her 31 year old former student. I have better things to do with my prime time viewing hours.

There are people who would legitimately say that I have no right commenting without being open to the perspective of those involved in the controversy. Luckily  for me they are neither the boss of me nor the editor of this blog.

I’ve seen the story off and on over the past 17 years, of course. A 34 year old married mother of four employed as a teacher is caught having an affair with her 12 year old student. I cringe even typing that. Twelve.

By the time the boy was 14 she had produced a child with him. She was charged with child rape, went to trial and in lieu of serving her entire sentence was allowed to serve just a short portion as long as she stayed away from the student for life.

Wow, what a gift.

By Any Other Name | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics

Two weeks after getting out of jail she was once again pregnant by the same young man and went back to prison for the rest of her term, 7 years. After her release and once the boy was of age they were married. They have now been married for 10 years and those two children are teenagers.

I did see a clip from the recent interview in which the teacher states that the media somehow misrepresented them and that what we’ve all seen of their relationship is not their story.

THEIR story? There is no THEIR story. That young boy, now a grown man, didn’t get a story. We’ll never know what his life could have been, would have been, had he not fallen prey to a pedophile at the age of twelve. He has no story, just an assigned roll in the story of a naive, narcissistic, delusional person trying to justify her behavior.

I have read that she wants to return to teaching and wants her name removed from the sex offender registry.

Really?

And I want to live in a world without pedophiles.

The premise of her argument, from all I have read, is that the marriage proves that this was not wrong after all. This was true love. The ten year marriage is proof.

In order for me to believe that this was true love not a predator and her victim, there are some very simple, dare I say logical, ways I think this should have played out.

It is possible, and not unheard of, no matter what the age and/or age difference, to build a relationship, a connection, a love, without taking it to a physical level. There are many couples who choose this option, strengthen their bond and save the physical intimacy for marriage. Sex can be a part of love but love does not have to include sex. She could have acted out of maturity and respect for all involved if she had chosen to show some restraint. If she had been able to exercise some basic impulse control. If this truly was love, sex could at the very least wait until he was of age, no longer a child.

In the meantime she could have spent time getting a divorce from the husband she did not love, setting him free, and building a relationship with those four children instead of embarrassing the crap out of them and ripping their world apart. Children can survive the divorce of parents far easier than coping with a parent being incarcerated for rape.

But then I don’t think she really gave any thought to those children. She had another child on her mind.

Nothing, no number of years of marriage, can serve as an excuse for, a vindication of, having raped a child.

You may fool you but you are not fooling me.

By Any Other Name | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics

OK, lets lighten the mood with something sweet and yummy and not at all controversial. Pie, of course.
No Bake Yogurt Pie | www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #pie


No Bake Yogurt Pie
No Bake Yogurt Pie | www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #pie




Baking In A Tornado signature | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics

No Bake Yogurt Pie
                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
2 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
3 TBSP sugar
1 stick butter, melted
 
1 1/2 cup heavy cream, divided
6 TBSP powdered sugar, divided
 
5 – 6 oz lemon greek yogurt
¼ tsp lemon zest
OPT: yellow food coloring
 
5 – 6 oz vanilla greek yogurt
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
 
5 – 6 oz raspberry greek yogurt
6 oz clean fresh raspberries
OPT: red food coloring
 
Directions:
*Mix together the graham cracker crumbs and sugar. Remove ¼ cup of this mixture and set aside. To the rest, add the melted butter and mix well. Pat into the bottom and up the sides of a 10 inch pie plate. Refrigerate.
*Beat ½ cup of heavy cream until soft peaks form. Beat in 2 TBSP powdered sugar, lemon zest and yellow food coloring until stiff peaks hold. Fold in the lemon yogurt.
*Spread the mixture into the pie shell and put in the freezer for about 30 minutes.
*Just before an hour is up, beat another ½ cup heavy cream until soft peaks form. Beat in 2 TBSP powdered sugar and the vanilla extract until stiff peaks hold. Fold in the vanilla yogurt and reserved graham cracker crumb mixture.
*Spread the mixture onto the lemon layer and put in the freezer for about 30 minutes.
*Chop 1/3 of the raspberries. Leave the rest whole for garnishing the pie.
*Just before an hour is up, beat another ½ cup heavy cream until soft peaks form. Beat in 2 TBSP powdered sugar and the red food coloring until stiff peaks hold. Fold in the raspberry yogurt and chopped fresh raspberries.
*Spread onto the vanilla layer, decorate with reserved raspberries and refrigerate.

37 comments:

  1. I have a post on her coming, too. It was quite an interview.

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    1. I'll look forward to reading your post and hearing what you have to say from the perspective of having seen the interview.

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  2. A very powerful post Karen and one that I agree with wholeheartedly. The 10 years of marriage means nothing in my opinion other than the fact that this boy (now a man) has not been able to break free from the controlling predator who took advantage of him when he was a child. Who knows if they could have had a relationship at some other point in his life, I suspect not. She is a vile person who should remain on the sex offenders register and never be allowed around young children. I feel immensely sorry for all those lives she has blown apart. Her children's (all of them), her husbands, the family of the boy she raped and for that boy for the loss of his childhood and the future he could have had.

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    1. I cannot even imagine what it's like to be any one of her 6 innocent children. And I cannot believe she is STILL trying to justify. . .

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  3. I agree with you, Karen. I did watch part of the interview and all I could see was a depressed young man who was under the control of a predator. He spoke about his battles with depression. I wonder if his poor mother watched the interview. What a mess. I couldn't believe this woman thinks she should ever be allowed in a classroom again. Great post.

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    1. Yes, a mess made by one person but so many are affected. So sad.

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  4. As much as I hate, no abhor...what she did I will NEVER stand in judgment of her. It is not a matter of being open minded -- which I choose to be, it is a matter of not judging anyone for their actions when I am not in their shoes. It does not condone what she did in any way, shape or form. She committed a terrible crime, sin or whatever you want to call it. But I do not know her side. I will not judge her. I have seen too many people destroyed by the judgment of others.

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    1. I'm not sure that it's a matter of standing in judgement of her, the courts have already done that. But I do strongly disagree with her attempts to condone her crime, something SHE chose to do publicly and that she had to know would re-start the discussion.

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  5. I couldn't agree more!!!!! The fact that they are now married doesn't change a single thing. A lot of times the victims of crimes such as that become dependent on the perpetrators.
    I haven't been able to watch a single bit of it.

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    1. What really surprises me is that she's still looking for validation. I didn't see the interview but I really cannot believe that they did it. Why parade this whole story back out into the limelight?

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  6. I totally agree with you. There's a lot to be said for seeing things from someone else's point of view but at the end of the day, there are some wrongs that, no matter how you try to spin them, are still wrong. Regardless of her perspective, the fact will always be that she preyed upon an underage child. What plausible excuse could possibly exist that would make me understand, much less sympathize with, why she did it?

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  7. She's a criminal, who preyed on a child. End of story. I feel sorry for the young man and the life he missed.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, and that's exactly what was proven in a court of law.

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  8. I saw the interview and was sickened once again by this neurotic nut job! What I saw was a man who has realized how screwed up his life really was and has just become resigned to it. In my opinion he is still a victim. I have a son, grandsons and they could not put her in a whole deep enough to keep me from her. Also as a former victim, it breaks my heart again while I am wretching.

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    1. I just don't understand what possessed them to do the interview. They had to know that people would react this way.

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    2. I don't either other than the obvious fact that they've gotten people talking about it and as for her, in her delusion, I think she thinks that everything is A ok now and she should get to have her old life back...I honestly think she should still be in prison!

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  9. She is a crazy loon. A rapist. Period. A sex offender. There is no grey area here. What's totally messed up is that not only is the victim/husband she raped still with her, but seems like he will always be a victim under her thumb. Her kids and ex-husband are also victims with their lives also messed up because of her actions.

    This whole situation is wrong on so many levels.

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    Replies
    1. I agree. There is no grey area in this issue. It is an issue of right and wrong. Nothing more.

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  10. I agree. Call it what it is. A tragedy for everyone.

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  11. Stories like these are becoming all too common. I was reading some comments on something unrelated and came across the phrase "love is love". In context, I understood what the person meant, but all I could think was: that phrase is something a pedophile would use to justify an inappropriate relationship with a minor. And I said as much to my husband, who agreed. Sometimes love just... isn't.

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    1. I think no matter how a pedophile tries to justify and no matter what they misconstrue to do so, they're not fooling anyone but themselves.

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  12. Didn't see the interview but women like that disgust me true love my ass

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    1. True love is not selfish. You spend time considering what is best for the other person too.

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  13. totally agree with you! all those years of marriage do NOT erase that she raped him. If it was reversed and a female student married a male teacher and had kids with him...would that be okay? It's all just so sick.

    Those poor kids...knowing how they came into this world...

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    1. Yes, it's the kids that really get to me. All seven of them.

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  14. I haven't seen the interview but I trust your judgment and this sickens me. That poor boy!

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    1. I hope to never see that interview, and any other they may do. It's time for her to stop appealing to the public to understand her reality We never will.

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  15. I remember when that story first hit the headlines, I was disgusted then, and I'm disgusted now. I refuse to read or watch anything the media have to say on her, because it just prolongs her fifteen minutes of fame, and she doesn't deserve to be famous for being a predator.

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    1. Good point. She does seem to enjoy the spotlight even for the most horrendous of reasons. And whether we like it or not, she is famous. Or infamous. But we all certainly know her name.

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  16. We send our children to school to learn from their teachers ... not to have adult relationships with them. I need a bite of that sweet pie to remove the bitter taste this story left in my mouth!

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    1. Couldn't agree with you more. We hold teachers to a higher standard and we should.

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  17. I think this is pretty much abuse that has now been sanctioned by Barbara Walters and the media. If she really loved him she would have left him alone to grow and mature as he should have!

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