Tuesday, June 23, 2015

No Sale

After careful consideration, I have an announcement to make:

I will not be buying a $20,000 watch.

Because really, unless that thing can lead me to the fountain of youth, pick the winning lottery numbers, bring home the bacon, fry it up AND wash that pan, I’m out. All you people standing in line, you don’t need to worry about me being ahead of you.

Yeah, yeah, it’s a cool toy. I’ll give it that. And I love being in touch. I’m a social media junkie, my email is always open to I don’t miss a thing, but do I need to WEAR it? I love you and all but I do not need you strapped to my back wrist. I will be going to the bathroom and you will not be going with me. I’m sorry. You’re disappointed, I know.

What would the ramifications of making a purchase like this be anyway? What kinds of things will those around you be able to see right there on your wrist?

*A steady stream of pictures of the snacks they want being sent to you by your kids while you’re walking through the grocery store.

*Pictorial evidence of that newly backed up toilet the kids think you need to see while you’re out to dinner.



Creamsicle Bars | www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #dessert #bake

Creamsicle Bars

*Your check with the words “insufficient funds” written across it while you’re checking out at the shoe store.

*Notice of a failing grade from your kid’s teacher while you’re at lunch with your friend whose kid just got into Harvard.

*A picture of grandpa’s goiter from grandma who hasn’t quite gotten the concept of over-sharing. I bet the next door neighbor will love seeing a picture of that flash onto your wrist while sharing a cup of coffee.

And although I can see a few positives:

*If you’re stuck in a waiting room you can always read a book right there on your wrist. One word at a time probably but when your kindle’s at home, it’s either that or a magazine from 10 years ago. And I think we already know that Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt broke up.

*A shot of the dog’s raw backside could be a great way to get out of having to continue a boring conversation with someone whose name you can’t remember that you ran into in the grocery store. “Hey, I’d love to keep chatting but I’ve got to run, looks like I’ve got to get the dog to the vet. Look at this backside . . .”

*While that pompous school principal is explaining what your kid did this time, a picture of your kids’ poop with the message “should this be green, mom” will probably get you on your way in no time.

I have to ask, is it really worth the price to be able to see all of this on a tiny screen on our wrists? And why? Are cell phones just not small enough? Are we that lazy that we can’t bear the inconvenience of having to hold our phones any more.

And what about people like me? I won’t even be able to see the damn thing. Unless it comes with a magnifying glass. Should I tape that to my eyeball? Or just wear a monocle everywhere I go?

You know, instead of spending $20,000 on a watch, for a couple of bucks I can just wear a wrist band and velcro my cell phone to my wrist.

OR . . . I have a great idea . . . why bother having to waste all that time and energy looking down at your wrist? This is genius: a halo.  Dangle that screen like a carrot right in front of your face.

Don’t try to copy my idea. Patent Pending.

No Sale | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphi

And in case my kids are reading this (well, that’ll be a first), I know at least one of you is going to put a $20,000 watch on your birthday list.

And you know I’m going to ignore it.

But I may have a little something way better for you to test out for me.

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Creamsicle Bars
                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
1 sugar cookie dough: you can use a packet mix, your own recipe, or use THIS RECIPE.
Opt:1 TBSP powdered orange drink mix
 
12 oz cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup frozen orange juice concentrate, defrosted
1/4 cup powdered sugar
 
1 ½ cups heavy cream
¼ cup powdered sugar
15 oz can mandarin oranges, well drained
 
½ cup heavy cream
1 TBSP powdered sugar
 
Directions:
*Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease a 9 X 13 pan.
*Bring the orange juice concentrate to room temperature.
*Make the sugar cookie dough, adding the powdered drink mix when you add your flour.
*Press the dough into the bottom and most of the way up the sides of your greased pan.
*Bake for approximately 15 minutes or until it’s just starting to brown. Once out of the oven, you can use the back of a spoon to gently reshape the crust.
*Cool on the counter for ½ hour, then move to fridge and cool completely.
*Beat cream cheese with orange juice concentrate and 1/4 cup of powdered sugar.
*In another bowl, beat 1½ cups heavy cream and ¼ cup powdered sugar until soft peaks form.  Beat in cream cheese mixture. Gently mix mandarin oranges and pour into the crust.
*Beat ½ cup heavy cream with 1 TBSP powdered sugar until stiff peaks form. Spread onto the cream cheese layer. 
*Refrigerate at least an hour before slicing and serving.

16 comments:

  1. We have a client that collects watches. Most of them sit in a temperature controlled locked dark cabinet. He came in the other day to show us a PICTURE of one he just purchased -- wouldn't dare wear it for fear it would get scratched. Price tag? $250,000

    ReplyDelete
  2. I bow to the master. Where can I get one of those 'carrots'?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have a pc, a laptop, a tablet and a phone and half the time I want to through them in a lake somewhere! I say we split the $20,000 and go on a really nice around the world trip!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You know... we'll long for the days everyone was going crazy over "smart" watches when the kids are clamoring for $50,000 smart rings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Baaaa ha ha ha ha. I love the way you think!

      Delete
  5. Yesterday my phone was too big to fit in my pocket and I was just devastated!! I wished I had...worn a different pair of pants that don't cost $20,000! That's just ridiculous! Besides we all know that they'll only cost $10,000 next year when the newer model comes out. That's when I'll pick mine up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha, great strategy. Let me know how you like it!

      Delete
  6. Yeah I don't get why anyone would spend that type of money on a watch, yeah it can do lots of things but hell we have a phone that does those things and it is easier to see, because let's be honest here anyone over the age of 40 will find it so bloody annoying the screen being so bloody small...............phones got smaller and smaller and now they are getting bigger and bigger again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As much as I wouldn't spend my money on it, I sure wish I'd been the one to develop it. That's some serious money they're getting for that watch.

      Delete
  7. No, I'm not buying a $20,000 watch either. I'm cheap, so I'll keep carrying my cell phone around. And, really, I don't need to be up to the minute on social media.

    Those Creamsicle Bars look awesome!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Everyone seems to like those Creamsicle Bars. Maybe I should sell them for $20,000?

      Delete

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