If patience is a virtue, I'm down one check mark in that virtue column. I may be down quite a few, but that's a story for another day. Whatever, I know I've got integrity and ethics so I'm not completely without redeeming qualities. Or at least that's what I tell myself.
But patience, well, I've always been lacking. I know it's me and not to put it off on those of you blessed with this virtue, but there are strategies that I might be able to offer if you have people like me in your life.
To husbands everywhere:
If I ask you to show me where the broken piece on the sprinkler system is so I know what to point out to the repairman when he arrives, I do not want a dissertation on the history of sprinkler systems and how they work.
To the checker in the supermarket:
I don't want to be rude, if you want to tell me all the cute things your dog or cat or kid did this week, I'll listen and smile. If you have to stop checking my groceries to act out each circumstance, I'm not going to listen. Or smile. You might even hear a "grrrr".
To the person driving 15 miles per hour below the speed limit:
That right lane isn't there just to look pretty. And straddling both lanes is an equally aggravating strategy. If you do not take your place in the proper lane, it may force the driver behind you to show you that the first two and the last two fingers of one hand have clench shut leaving that other finger pointing to the sky.
To little kids sitting at the dinner table:
Listen, if your mama says you have to eat one bite of your vegetable to have dessert, time is not your friend, sitting there looking at it will not make it disappear. Be smart, hide it under the lettuce in your salad like I used to do or throw it onto the floor under your sister's chair like my sister used to do but for the love of all that is holy, make your move.
But patience, well, I've always been lacking. I know it's me and not to put it off on those of you blessed with this virtue, but there are strategies that I might be able to offer if you have people like me in your life.
To husbands everywhere:
If I ask you to show me where the broken piece on the sprinkler system is so I know what to point out to the repairman when he arrives, I do not want a dissertation on the history of sprinkler systems and how they work.
To the checker in the supermarket:
I don't want to be rude, if you want to tell me all the cute things your dog or cat or kid did this week, I'll listen and smile. If you have to stop checking my groceries to act out each circumstance, I'm not going to listen. Or smile. You might even hear a "grrrr".
To the person driving 15 miles per hour below the speed limit:
That right lane isn't there just to look pretty. And straddling both lanes is an equally aggravating strategy. If you do not take your place in the proper lane, it may force the driver behind you to show you that the first two and the last two fingers of one hand have clench shut leaving that other finger pointing to the sky.
To little kids sitting at the dinner table:
Listen, if your mama says you have to eat one bite of your vegetable to have dessert, time is not your friend, sitting there looking at it will not make it disappear. Be smart, hide it under the lettuce in your salad like I used to do or throw it onto the floor under your sister's chair like my sister used to do but for the love of all that is holy, make your move.
Baked Crispy Chicken Parmesan
To the car repairman:
Listen, I get it, you can't always judge time accurately. Maybe the car ahead of mine needs more repairs than you'd initially thought. That's fine. But do not tell me my car will be ready in an hour and wait for me to get a ride to pick it up to tell me you haven't got to it yet. Call me, email me, text me, send up smoke signals, the options are endless. But if you wait until I'm standing there, chances are pretty good that what you see from me will not be patience.
To the nurse at the gynecologist's office:
Don't tell me to take off all of my clothes, cover myself with a piece of material the size of a bandana and lay down on the torture table because the doctor will be right in if the doctor's a good half hour out. You know the longer I lay there the better the chance I'm gonna have to pee. And if I end up heading to the bathroom with my butt hanging out? Well, that's on you.
To my son:
If I ask you, and you agree, to mow the lawn before the storms come through, I don't mean for wait to head out there until the thunder's so loud you fall off the couch. Chances are I'll have something to say at that point. And it won't be "thank you".
To restaurant waiters and waitresses:
I have been a waitress so I know that sometimes when there's a rush things get absolutely crazy, you may need to say "I'll be right with you" and not get back for a while. So, being on the customer side of the situation, let me give you a hint as to how to assure your customer's patience. You can take as long as you need to fill my water, take my order, to bring my salad, to even bring my meal and I'll be fine with it as long as you do this one little thing. Get that cocktail order taken and delivered. Fast.
In fact, now that I think of it, that cocktail strategy might just work for the husbands, supermarket checkers, slow drivers, kids, car repairmen and nurses . . .
Baked Crispy Chicken Parmesan
©www.BakingInATornado.com
Printable Recipe
Ingredients:
3 large boneless skinless chicken breasts
1 egg
1 cup Italian seasoned bread crumbs
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 stick butter
3/4 tsp garlic powder
1/2 cup shredded provolone
1 1/2 cups shredded mozzarella
1 cup marinara sauce, my recipe for Homemade Marinara HERE
2 TBSP dried parsley flakes
Directions:
*Grease a 9 X 13 baking dish. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
*Cut each chicken breasts into 3 pieces of fairly equal thickness.
*Whisk the egg in a bowl with 2 TBSP water. Mix the seasoned bread crumbs and parmesan cheese on a plate.
*Dip the chicken pieces into the egg, then coat completely with the bread crumb mixture and place into the prepared baking dish.
*Melt the butter with the garlic powder. Drizzle over the chicken pieces.
*Bake for 40 minutes. Remove from oven, sprinkle the provolone and mozzarella cheeses over the chicken. Sprinkle with the parsley and return to the oven for 10 - 15 minutes. Chicken must be completely cooked through
*While the cheese is melting, heat the marinara sauce and serve the chicken with the marinara drizzled over the top and/or on the side.
These are all great, and I think you are right...a drink or glass of wine would make every situation much better...
ReplyDeleteWithout a doubt!
DeleteYou are on a roll today and I am with you! The absolutely only places I am patient is in the airport and in the oncologist office. Both places, what can I do? Certainly can't fly a plane and no need to have a fit with an airline employee, they can't fly the plane either and my oncologist, maybe he is counseling a terminal patient and I am not going to be able or want to rush him!
ReplyDeleteAs much as I hate sitting around a doctor's office, like you I have sympathy for whoever he/she is helping and know that I would not want to feel rushed in there either.
DeleteI foresee a lot of cocktails in my future . . . ;)
ReplyDeleteHa, ha, you and me both!
DeleteI try to be patient in doctor’s offices and where young children are concerned. Otherwise I tend to stuff my impatience inside me. Thank you for voicing my feelings! The chicken sounds yummy, too. Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteYes, young children are often the exception, although often I wonder what the parents are thinking.
DeleteThe chicken recipe sounds perfect for a busy evening - and tasty, too! Thanks for adding a touch of humor to chicken parm! Great post!
ReplyDeleteKimberly at PassingDownTheLove.com
So glad you enjoyed the humor, hope you try the recipe.
DeleteTo males and children everywhere, when we want something done now we mean now not 3 hours from now, this was a post that I could relate to
ReplyDeleteI do think that impatient or not, there are parts of this that most women can relate to.
DeleteAren't cocktails the answer to all of life's problems?
ReplyDeleteApparently!
Delete