Happy Birthday, Fly on the Wall group challenge.
Fly on the Wall posted for the first time on November 16th, 2012.
Today I post a Fly on the Wall piece for the 13th time.
Welcome to a Fly on the Wall group post. Today 13 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house.
When you’re done, click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:
Me: What have you got for homework?
Son: Nothing Mom, homework’s for chumps.
So glad you straightened me out on that issue.
And yet another conversation with my concrete and literal son:
Son: Where’s the pizza sauce?
Me: We finished the one that was in the fridge, open a new one.
Son: Where is it?
Me: What do you mean where is it, where do you think we keep it? In the toilet?
So we figure out that the sauce is kept in the pantry.
Son: Where’s the can opener?
Me: In the toilet.
There are lots of things that a “normal” person might say at dinner that would result in incredulous stares from their family. Here are a few examples of statements made by a blogger that have become so much the norm that no one even bothers to look up:
*I need a picture for the blog so if anyone’s thinking of breaking an arm, this would be a good time.
*Can one of you guys stand up, turn around and let me put a bra on you backwards for a picture?
*After dinner I need you to go out to the back yard and take a picture of a weed (this one) for me.
*Someone needs to count the M&Ms in that big bag for me before you leave the kitchen for the evening. They need to match up to the Kisses and the pretzels.
On Tuesday night my son asks if his friends can come over the next night to play pool and poker. I tell him that of course they can and ask if he wants me to bake something. He and I decide on two treats.
Me: I’ll bake those treats for you tomorrow, but next time maybe you could invite them a little earlier than the night before.
Him: Oh, I did. I invited them last week.
Well OK, then.
Hubs: Where’s “J”?
Me: He’s sleeping on the couch.
Hubs: When he wakes up, tell him . . . and he goes into a 10 minute play-by-play of some college football game; team names, who did what, scores, overtime, who knows what else.
Me: I’m not going to remember all that.
Hubs: It’s one thing, you can’t remember one thing?
Me: Fine.
Son wakes up and I tell him: Dad said to tell you there’s a football game on.
Chocolate Fluffernutter Cookies
It is so frustrating to be a sarcastic mom of a concrete and literal son. I posted on my FB page:
“Just sneezed so hard I saw a squirrel fall out of a tree in the back yard.”
Then I explained why it’s funny to my son. Three times. He still doesn’t get it.
Sigh.
It’s a rare occasion around our house, but we were running low on milk and I wasn’t going grocery shopping until the next day. My husband and son usually have a bowl of cereal for breakfast so at dinner that night I had them drink water, telling them that I was saving the rest of the milk for their breakfast. About an hour after dinner I walked by the kitchen where my son was having dessert: Oreos . . . with a big glass of milk.
Although I did not try to kill my son last year, I’ve been informed that I’m not allowed to bring the umbrella in from the porch this year (or ever again, for that matter). Apparently shattering a table your son is sitting under (trying to help release the umbrella) has a lasting emotional affect. Sheesh, who knew?
Halloween night a little girl I’ve never seen before, maybe 3 years old, comes to the door. I give her a candy and she says “agua”. So I go down to the basement and get her a water bottle, hand it to her and her parents smile at me. She steps aside and I see more kids. The little boy next in line gets his candy and says “agua por favor”. So I call out to the kids behind him “agua?” No response, it looks like he’s the last thirsty one. I go back down to the basement, get another water bottle, give it to the little boy whose parents smile again. Next to the door comes another little girl. I give her candy and she says “could I have some water too, please?”
Just to be clear, I am NOT the genius parent who told my younger son that he could take the surround sound speakers off of the wall in the basement and hook them up to his computer in his bedroom.
Chocolate Fluffernutter Cookies
©www.BakingInATornado.com Printable Recipe
Ingredients:
1 stick butter, softened
1 stick margarine, softened
½ cup brown sugar
½ cup white sugar
1 egg
½ tsp vanilla
½ cup chocolate peanut butter (can substitute regular peanut butter)
½ cup peanut butter
2 ¼ cups flour
1 cup potato chips, finely crushed
¾ cup mini chocolate chips
Approximately 100 mini marshmallows
Directions:
*Cream butter, margarine, brown sugar and sugar until smooth. Beat in the egg, vanilla, and peanut butters. Mix in the flour, then the potato chips and mini chocolate chips.
*Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for an hour.
*Prepare 2 cookie sheet with parchment paper. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
*Roll dough into approximately 50 balls and place 25 at a time onto prepared cookie sheet.
*Make an indentation into the center of each ball and push 2 mini marshmallows into each.
*Bake for about 13 minutes or until the marshmallows and bottom of cookie starts to brown.
*Allow to rest for 2 minutes, then remove to wire rack to cool completely.
*Repeat with the second batch of cookies.
Baaaahahahahaha, there's a Football game on ;-) My son (you know that he is 5, right?) would ask me the exact same things your husband told you to repeat to your son, what teams, where are they currently ranked, what was the result when they last played against each other,...
ReplyDeleteOh, and I'll have some agua, too, please. No wait, make that une bouteille d'eau!
Your son sounds like he'd get along perfectly with my son, he probably could answer all of those questions.
DeleteA new cookie recipe? Yipppeee! I like to bake in the winter and I've never seen those! It's rare that I see a new recipe. I'm doing them fer sher! I don't know when....but I'm doing them. I'll FB a photo to you when I do.
ReplyDeleteLove your FOTW entries....so freakin' hilarious! (I laughed at your sneeze/squirrel statement:). You guys are a hoot. "in the toilet" ahahaha!
Made this recipe up, along with the Fluffernutter Nachos I did this past summer. I must REALLY be missing home.
DeleteBoy, did you nail the "blogger household" dynamic. Anyone around my place knows that just because there are cookies on the rack, that doesn't mean their up for grabs. They yell: "Have you taken your pictures yet?" before they start grabbing. And mine wouldn't blink an eye anymore at a request for a backwards bra.
ReplyDeleteSo I was struggling to find the word "dynamic" and tried to explain it to my son. "You know, the way a family all works together, around each other". He blinked. "I didn't know families did that. Is it an Amish family?"
I'm going back to bed. But first, I have to make those incredible cookies, Karen!!!
Crap. Just as I hit publish I saw the "their" "they're" mistake. I can't let it go. I tried to just let it go!
DeleteFor the record, I truly do know the difference.
Augh.
LOL, that would drive me nuts too. Yes, I know you know the difference!
DeleteOne of mine is concrete and literal, I feel your pain....
ReplyDeleteYou handed out candy and water. You are a better person than me. I don't even hand out water to the neighbor kid, I just say to go home....
Although I have no idea who I gave that water to (I think they drove into the neighborhood, I've never seen them before), I have to admit that most kids around here know where to come if they're hungry or thirsty even when it's not Halloween.
Delete"In the toilet" shall be my new go to parenting phrase!
ReplyDeleteI swear I need to give my whole family a tour of the house they live in.
All the best parents emotionally tweak their kids in some fashion. We have to give them something to work out in therapy. ;)
Those cookies look AMAZING!
The Prince will love these!
Fabulous as always.
Thanks, Meg. I think giving him those sarcastic answers when I'm frustrated is what keeps me sane. Or keeps him alive. Or both.
DeleteThese are the kinds of answers I like to give too. Somehow our kids get the idea that we'll rescue them from all kitchen knowledge & duties. Those cookies sound way too sweet for me, but I'd sure love to hang out in your house and discuss our kids!!!
ReplyDeleteI think that would be a lot of fun. We all need to vent or we'll lose our minds.
DeleteI love all the blogger talk. My husband is used to it now and most of my friends b/c I start a lot of sentences with - "This blog I read all the time" or "this woman who I know through blogging" - no one even filches anymore.
ReplyDeleteI also think the sneezing so hard a squirrel fell out of a tree is very funny!:-)
I thought the sneezing thing was funny too. Unfortunately my family just doesn't appreciate my humor. Why do you think I have to blog?
DeleteThe only problem with me having been sarcastic around my kids when they were young is that they grew into sarcastic adults ... and they're even better than me at it now! One of them is even taking stand-up comedy classes and participating in festivals and competitions.
ReplyDeleteThose cookies look great! I think they may be added to my Christmas cookie rotation. :-)
I don't know if I'd like my kids beating me out at the whole "sarcastic" thing, but I do love that one of yours is taking it to a whole other level. That sounds like fun.
DeleteROFLOL!!! Who knew water would be such a big deal on Halloween????
ReplyDeleteI SOOOOOOOOOOOOO needed this today!! THANK YOU!!!! ;)
Really, candy alone's not good enough? Now I'm giving out candy and water. But those kids are just so cute, I'd do anything to see their smiles on Halloween night.
DeleteI adore reading the conversations you have with your sons. I can totally relate. Why must our boys question EVERYTHING we say and take it so literally? I'm always left shaking my head after conversations with my boys. They Just. Don't. Get it. On a brighter note, the cookies look so yummy. It's late and my sweet tooth is in high gear. I'd kill or one of those right now. Can you mail cookies? Overnight?
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately I've tried before but I can't mail treats, I get tackled on the way to the door.
DeleteLOL! This was so funny. I think it is funny that you and are your son are opposites. I feel like maybe I'm missing some of the humor though too because I can be a little slow. I get it I think, but I just wonder if I am getting the full gist of it. Haha. Thanks for sharing if we were a fly on the wall. I think this is such a cool linkup!
ReplyDeleteIt really is strange with me being so sarcastic and him being so literal, but the good news is that he does finally get me a lot of the time. Took years and years of working with him but he gets a lot of what is sarcasm now. Sometimes, rarely, he even gives it back!
DeleteI can definitely relate to the comments at the dinner table. I often tell baby daddy that I need pictures or content for the blog and that he should do something funny. Or when something funny or embarassing happens he yells "don't put that on the blog!"
ReplyDeleteThat's what makes blogging with older kids so difficult, they can read and so can their friends. So imagine the things I DON'T say!
DeleteI love the blogger comments. When I wasn't anonymous, I would get this all the time from my family and friends: "Do NOT put this on your blog!" Now I get it from those who know I blog, except it's usually this, in a whisper: "What is the address of your secret blog again? And will you put me in it?" I suppose everyone loves a little anonymity sometimes. :)
ReplyDeleteThat's pretty funny. I have to admit that I've never had anyone ask to be put in my blog. I think I'd probably think it was a joke and laugh.
DeleteOMG! This whole post is hysterial. Sounds like some things I would try. The surround sound speakers for sure.
ReplyDeleteHow much you want to bet those speakers end up going off to college with him next year too?
DeleteDid anyone put the bra on? Just wondering... Loved it all! The flies in your house must be very entertained!
ReplyDeleteSorry I'm so late reading this. My mom came up and met me in town yesterday, just starting to get some things done tonight (I had to finish my blanket first because dangit I was cold!)
Yes, actually, the bra went on and the picture was taken and although it won't end up on the blog I'm pretty much set for life if I ever need blackmail money.
DeleteAlways love FOTW Blogs... Many smiles on this end. The banter between you & your son is priceless!!! Loved it, Slu
ReplyDeleteThanks, Slu. I have to admit these posts are fun to write. And I love reading everyone else's.
DeleteNow I want someone to put on a bra backwards. I love the "ague" Halloween treats. What happened to asking for pans of your cookies? That's what I'd be doing. Your football story is awesome. When I used to blog about my baking, I'd always get asked, "Can we eat this, or is it for the blog?" Funny how we can all relate. <3
ReplyDeleteWait, you blogged about baking? When was that? Where was I?
DeleteFunny stuff! I love these fly on the wall post. They always get me laughing.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you find them funny. Even though some of it isn't funny at the time, I always laugh when I write these posts later on.
DeleteLOL, took my family a while but now nothing phases them. I finally have them trained well.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading that, it certainly made me laugh. Can I be a fly on the wall at your place again?
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, the third Friday of every month, come on back.
DeleteWell, at least you got your work out, right?
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, I'd say you've scarred the kid for life shattering that table. Kids, apparently, easily get PTSD. Just ask Lil Bit! lol
Poor Lil Bit, I hope she forgets all about that accident very soon.
Delete