Friday, September 30, 2016

Funny Friday: Worse Than the Kids

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Funny Friday: One picture, Five Captions | | #MyGraphics

Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by Sarah of Not That Sarah Michelle

Funny Friday: one picture, 5 captions | Picture by Sarah of Not That Sarah Michelle | | #humor #funny

1. Dog to owner: What ya doin' in there?

2. Dog to owner: Come out, come out, wherever you are . . .

3. Dog to owner: Of course I'm coming in while you're in the shower, my giant porcelain water bowl is in here.

4. Owner to dog: You know you're worse than my kids, right? Ten minutes! I'm asking for 10 stinkin' minutes . . .

5. Owner to dog: I know I said I'd take you for a walk, but staring at me while I'm going to the bathroom will not make that happen any sooner.

And now for something yummy: 

Apple Cinnamon Waffle Casserole, A simple breakfast casserole using frozen waffles and cinnamon brown sugar apples | Recipe developed by | #recipe #breakfast

Apple Cinnamon Waffle Casserole
Apple Cinnamon Waffle Casserole, A simple breakfast casserole using frozen waffles and cinnamon brown sugar apples | Recipe developed by | #recipe #breakfast

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:

 Spatulas on Parade 
The Bergham Chronicles  
Measurements of Merriment 
 Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
Not That Sarah Michelle 
Southern Belle Charm 

Baking In A Tornado signature/logo | www. Baking In A | #MyGraphics
Apple Cinnamon Waffle Casserole
NOTE: Recipe can be baked at time of preparation or refrigerated up to a day and baked later.

2 boxes frozen waffles, partially defrosted and chopped
4 oz cream cheese, chopped
7 eggs
3/4 cup milk
1/4 cup Hazelnut or French Vanilla flavored creamer
1/4 cup maple syrup

2 large apples, peeled cored and sliced
1/3 stick butter
2 tsp lemon juice
2 TBSP brown sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon plus more for sprinkling
1/2 cup pecans or walnuts, chopped

Opt: maple syrup for serving

*Grease a 9 X 13 glass baking dish. Preheat oven to 350 degrees if baking now.
*Saute apples in butter until they start to soften. Add lemon juice, brown sugar and cinnamon. Stir and cook for 1 more minute. Set aside.
*In a large bowl, whisk together eggs, milk, creamer and maple syrup. Mix in the waffle pieces, cream cheese, cooked apples (with the liquid in the saute pan), and nuts. Pour into prepared baking dish, making sure that the ingredients distribute evenly. Sprinkle with cinnamon. 
*If baking now: place in oven, covered, for 50 minutes. Uncover and cook for 15 more minutes. Remove from oven and let rest for 5 minutes before serving.
*If baking later: cover with foil and refrigerate up to overnight. Place on counter for an hour before baking.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

An Elephant, Deodorant, and a Wedding Planner?

It's not just annoying, it's gotten scary, aggressive even. All those ads on pretty much anything we try to read these days. It started out subtle. You know, little boxes, subliminal messaging, a passive "click here" if you're interested. Everywhere. On social media, news articles, search engines . . .

Then it got frightening. Targeted ads. Check something out on a website and suddenly ads for that item show up everywhere. Visit an international web site to read an article and find ads for businesses in your home town. Yikes. I covered up my laptop camera with tape, closed the blinds, considered shopping under the covers but privacy? No such thing any more. Those marketers, they're everywhere. No way to run, nowhere to hide.

And now it's getting more and more aggressive too. From subtle messages on the sides of pages to eye popping, pop-ups to videos. Before you start reading is bad enough, but covering the page when you're in the middle of an article? What's next? I'm thinking someone's going to jump out of my laptop screen, grab me by the throat and shake my money out of me.

So, for the record, I'm paying attention. No need to jump through that screen. And really, you don't want to see me first thing in the morning sitting on the couch with my hair heading in all directions and makeup smeared over the bags under my eyes. For my sake, and yours, I'm willing to take a serious look. This is, apparently, what I need:

An Elephant, Deodorant and a Wedding Planner, a humorous look at what internet adds say we need | | #MyGraphics #humor

~ to never have to shave again.
{{crossing band aids off of my shopping list}}

~ to adopt an elephant. 
{{adding peanuts to my shopping list}}

~ extra strength deodorant.
{{OK, now that's just mean}}

~ new dining room chairs.
{{wait. I like my dining room chairs. Picked out the fabric myself, as a matter or fact}}

~ a Red Robin burger.
{{I love burgers, but you should have hit me up earlier, I already made dinner}}

Slow Cooker Stuffed Turkey Tenderloins, turkey tenderloins stuffed and rolled, slow cooked in seasoned chicken broth for a flavorful dinner | Recipe developed by | #recipe #slowcooker #dinner

Slow Cooker Stuffed Turkey Tenderloins

~ a wedding planner.
{{before or after I'll need a divorce lawyer?}}

~ a college degree.
{{another one?}}

~ invisalign. 
{{is that for your teeth or for your eyes? I can't remember. And I'm afraid to google it because that'll just encourage them. Sigh}}

~ a vacation.

~ Nutter Butters.
{{adding Nutter Butters to the shopping list. Maybe I better add 2 'cause . . . you know . . . the elephant . . .}}

That's my list. What do you need?

Baking In A Tornado signature | | #MyGraphics

Slow Cooker Stuffed Turkey Tenderloins
Printable Recipe
turkey tenderloins (approximately 1 3/4#)
salt and pepper
6 slices proscuitto
1 1/4 cup dry Pepperidge Farm cornbread stuffing mix
1 3/4 cup chicken broth, divided
1/4 cup cranraisins

1 tsp dried tarragon
1 green onion, cleaned and sliced

1 TBSP cornstarch

NOTE: You will need butcher's twine and/or toothpicks

*Heat 3/4 cup chicken broth until hot. Place the stuffing mix in a large bowl with the hot chicken broth and cranraisins. Mix.
*Butterfly the tenderloins by slicing, lengthwise, into but not through about 1/2 of the way up from the cutting board. Leave the 2 halves attached. Roll open and lay flat. Cover with plastic wrap and press a rolling pin back and forth gently over the meat to flatten it as much as you can. Remove and discard the plastic wrap. Sprinkle the turkey with salt and pepper.
*Lay the slices of proscuitto onto the tenderloins. Place the stuffing into the center, lengthwise, then close and tie fairly tightly with butcher's twine. Tuck the ends in or pin them with toothpicks.
*Place the tenderloins into the slow cooker. Add the remaining 1 cup of chicken broth, tarragon and green onions. and cover.
*Cook on high for one hour. Carefully turn the meat, then lower the temperature and cook on low for four to five hours. Turkey must be completely cooked and reach 165 degrees.
*Remove tenderloins from the slow cooker. Tent with tin foil and allow to rest.
*Turn the slow cooker back up to high. Whisk the cornstarch with 1 TBSP cold water until smooth. Add to the slow cooker. Cook and stir until the sauce thickens. Strain, if desired.
*Carefully cut the twine off of the tenderloins. Slice and serve with sauce.

Friday, September 23, 2016

Fly on the Wall: You Don't Bring Me Flowers

Welcome to a monthly Fly on the Wall group post. Today 9 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house. At the end of my post you’ll find links to this month’s other participants’ posts.

Fly on the Wall | | #MyGraphics

By now pretty much everyone knows that PurDude went back to school at the end of last month. And, as always, the week before he goes is pretty difficult for me.

Me: I want you to text me every day.
PurDude: Right.
Me: Really, just a quick "hi, mom, I'm doing fine."
PurDude: Right.
Me: Say it. Say you'll do a better job of staying in touch.
PurDude: Hear ya, Mom.

He left on a Saturday.
Saturday: {{silence}}
Sunday: {{silence}}
Monday: {{silence}}
Tuesday: {{silence}}

Wednesday (as desperation starts to set in): 
Me (to myself): Hmmm, I wonder what would happen if I transfer all the money from his checking account into mine . . . 

Fly on the Wall | | #MyGraphics

College Boy comes down for breakfast looking like he stuck his finger in a light socket. Hair everywhere.

Me: I'm going to take a picture.
College Boy: No you're not.
Me: You look cute, and your eyes are really blue today, I'm going to take a picture.
College Boy: No, I don't want a picture taken of me when I first wake up.
Me: Your hair's all over the place. I'm going to cut it.
College Boy: You need to stop drinking.

Funny thing is, it was noon on a Sunday, I'd had the rest of a batch of cocktails from the night before in the fridge and I actually was drinking. 

But I still might cut his hair while he's sleeping. That's not weird, right?

Fly on the Wall | | #MyGraphics

Hubs works late a few days a week. I leave a plate on the counter for him and he sticks it in the microwave when he gets home.

He'd finished eating and called out to me to see if I wanted him to start the dishwasher and take out the trash. I told him to start the dishwasher but leave the trash, I wasn't done with it.

A minute later:

Me: Did I just hear you take out the trash?
Hubs: Oh yeah, I did. You said not to.
Me: {{blink, blink}}
Hubs: Hey, I'm getting old you know. I just forgot.
Me: In the last 3 seconds? You really are getting old.
Hubs: Really? You couldn't say something nice like no I'm not? I'm hurt.
Me (under my breath): Lucky for me it's not like someone without a memory can hold a grudge . . .

Fly on the Wall | | #MyGraphics

Later that night:

Me: Can you please go get the mail, I forgot.
Hubs: I would but I think I was mad at you about something. Was I mad at you about something?
Me: No, you were upset with yourself for not bringing me flowers tonight.
Hubs: I may be forgetful but I'm not stupid . . . 

Fly on the Wall | | #MyGraphics

Hubs belongs to a local Business Association and he was working one of their fund raisers, a Rib Fest. I told him to just bring plates home for us all for dinner.

He calls me to tell me that they only take cash and he doesn't have much on him. I told him, since it takes place in a grocery store parking lot, to go in and buy a candy bar and get cash back.

He calls me back. 

Hubs: So here's what happened.
Me: Oy.
Hubs: I wanted $60. I haven't done cash back before so the first candy bar I bought it automatically gave me $20.
Me: OK.
Hubs: So I went and got another candy bar and did it again, but I accidentally pressed $20. 
Me: {{silence}}
Hubs: So I went and got another candy bar and got the other $20. There's 3 candy bars in my car and the people in the store think I'm nuts.
Me: There's someone in your house who thinks you're nuts too.

Fly on the Wall | | #MyGraphics

Hubs and I finish our conversation and I get a text. It's from him. It says "phone". 

I have no idea. And I'm not going to ask either.

Biscotti Tiramisu Trifle, coffee soaked biscotti, spiked filling and flavored whipped cream come together to create this decadent dessert | Recipe developed by | #recipe #dessert

Biscotti Tiramisu Trifle
Biscotti Tiramisu Trifle, coffee soaked biscotti, spiked filling and flavored whipped cream come together to create this decadent dessert | Recipe developed by | #recipe #dessert

I've mentioned many times before that I keep trying to get the boys to write me a guest post. They are intelligent and interesting and are passionate about certain subjects. I'd love to share their perspective but they absolutely refuse.

Me: You know I'm going to Boston for a few weeks. I'm trying to get as many posts written and scheduled before I go. Will you please just write me one guest post?
College Boy: You're taking your laptop with you, you'll be able to write.
Me: But you know I'll be busy, I just may not have the time.
College Boy: Do as much as you can now. I'm not writing you a paper on my school vacation.
Me: Your vacation may be extended. If you won't do this for me, why should I pay your tuition for you? In fact, I'm not paying it until you write me an article.
College Boy: You are pure evil.
Me: Are you just figuring that out now?
College Boy: I'm afraid to say "yes" and I'm afraid to say "no". 

Told you he was smart.

Fly on the Wall | | #MyGraphics

Hubs: I trimmed that shrub over by the garage that was getting so overgrown.

You say trim, I say butcher. | | #funny #laugh

Me: {{blink, blink}}

Either he needs to look up the word "trimmed", or I need to look up the word "butchered".

Fly on the Wall | | #MyGraphics

College Boy: What's for dinner?
Me: Leftovers.
College Boy: What leftovers?
Me: Well, there's Hot Wings but I'm a little worried about them, they've been in the fridge for a while. There's also Ribs, Baked Beans, and Cranberry Swirl Corn Muffins.
College Boy: I do love those wings, I think I'll take a chance on those.
Me: Why don't you have some of each, then if you end up sick at least it'll come out multicolored.
College Boy: Speaking of sick, Mom . . .

Fly on the Wall | | #MyGraphics

Hubs was in the bathroom getting ready for work. I went downstairs, started the sheets in the laundry and went back to bed. Hubs goes down or breakfast and comes back upstairs.

Hubs: Are you awake?
Me: Yeah.
Hubs: Did you start the laundry?
Me: What's the alternative?
Hubs: Huh?
Me: What's the alternative?
Hubs: Alternative?
Me: Either I started it, or it started itself.
Hubs: Well it could have been College Boy.
Me: Has College Boy ever gotten up this early?
Hubs: Could have been a ghost.
Me: A ghost that does housework? Count me in.
Hubs: So . . . you're doing the laundry before you're even out of bed?
Me: No, it must have started itself.

Everyone has conversations like this at 6:30 in the morning, right?

Now click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:

Baking In A Tornado | | #MyGraphics

Biscotti Tiramisu Trifle
Printable Recipe
NOTE: Recipe can be made either in a large trifle bowl or as individual servings.

approximately 21 biscotti cookies: purchased, make your own, or make my Chocolate Almond Biscotti
3/4 cup brewed coffee, hot 
1/4 cup Kahlua

1 (approximately 1.55 oz) chocolate candy bar

8 oz cream cheese, room temperature
4 TBSP heavy cream
2 TBSP sour cream
1/2 cup powdered sugar
2 TBSP baking cocoa
2 TBSP Amaretto
2  TBSP brewed coffee, cooled

2 cups heavy cream
4 TBSP powdered sugar
1 TBSP Amaretto
2 TBSP Kahlua

*Break biscotti into chunks.
*Place 3/4 cup hot brewed coffee and 1/4 cup Kahlua in a bowl.
*"Shave" the chocolate bar into curls using a potato peeler along the side of the candy bar. Place the shaves in the fridge.
*Beat the cream cheese with 4 TBSP heavy cream, 2 TBSP sour cream, 1/2 cup powdered sugar, 2 TBSP baking cocoa, 2 TBSP Amaretto and 2 TBSP brewed cold coffee until smooth. Set aside.
*In a separate bowl, beat the 2 cups heavy cream until soft peaks form. Beat in the 4 TBSP powdered sugar, 1 TBSAP Amaretto and 2 TBSP Kahlua until stiff peaks hold. Remove 1/2 cup and fold into the cream cheese mixture.
*Dip the biscotti into the bowl with the coffee/Kahlua mixture.
*To assemble: layer 1/3 of the biscotti, 1/2 of the cream cheese mixture, 1/3 of the chocolate curls, another 1/3 of the biscotti, 1/2 of the whipped cream mixture, another 1/3 of the chocolate curls, the remaining biscotti, the remaining cream cheese mixture, the remaining whipped cream mixture. Top with the rest of the chocolate curls.
*Cover and refrigerate for at least 4 hours, overnight if possible.