My subject is: You’re writing a novel. you are killing off your main character. Describe the character, manner of death, and why they must die. It was submitted by Someone Else's Genius.
Before my attorneys will allow me to publish this post, they’ve required me to tell you this: all alleged characters appearing in this alleged work are allegedly fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. There will be no legal action taken against my person by any reader, sane or delusional, who believes that he or she has been libeled in my work product, whether allegedly portrayed under their actual name or an alias.
OK, I’m writing this novel and I’m killing off my main character. I get to tell you who, how and why.
This is the story of Lucky Leprechaun. His actual name is Happy-Go-Lucky, and he’s extremely popular amongst his clan. Truth is, Happy is a bit of an imp, he’s got a wee bit o’ piss and vinegar in him. You see, Happy is known for playing practical jokes and often gets himself in trouble, to the delight of all.
March is Happy’s month, the capers are ongoing and trouble-maker that he is, he often brings others in on his escapades.
Always on the lookout for the next prank, one Saturday morning Lucky found himself peeking into the kitchen window of Suzie Storm.
Suzie is just your average mom. She loves to bake, and it happens that she writes a blog. Suzie’s involved with a group of bloggers who pick a theme each month and all create a recipe based on that theme. On this particular Saturday, Suzie was expecting friends over. She needed a snack to serve so she decided to work on her theme for March. Suzie’s challenge was to use an ingredient that's naturally green and she had chosen pistachios. She had an idea for cookies, Lucky Rainbow Cookies and they would be that afternoon’s snack.
As she made the dough she was thinking that The Donald (who calls themselves that, anyway?) would fire Suzie for her use of a green ingredient since it’s really not a major part of the recipe, just an embellishment, but then The Donald is not the boss of Suzie Storm. Lucky her. Suzie made and chilled her dough. Before her guests arrived she rolled and baked the cookies.
It was looking like a good day in the kitchen. The cookies were as she had hoped as they went into the oven.
When the cookies came out of the oven, she painted the ends in white chocolate and added the pistachios. She wasn’t thrilled with how they looked, but as she laid them out to set she tasted one. They were delicious!
As the cookies set, Suzie went to change her clothes. She was perplexed when she realized that she was hearing some unusual sounds coming from her kitchen. Skittering sounds.
Half dressed, she ran back into the kitchen just in time to see a horde of little men jumping into her back yard from the railing of her deck. Suzie knew she must be hallucinating because not only were little green men jumping off of her porch, but what they were wearing looked way too familiar. She quickly checked the counter and a strange reality was setting in as she found all of her cookies missing. It was then that she caught movement out of the corner of her eye. Half way out her sliding door stood a leprechaun. Lucky turned to Suzie, winked, and headed out to the deck. It was then that she saw exactly what he was wearing.
With murder on her mind, Suzie grabbed the closest thing she could find and ran out to the deck yelling “I’m coming after you, Leprechaun. I’ve got my spatula and I’m not afraid to use it!”
If you happen to see a half dressed woman running down the street wielding a spatula and chasing a bunch of green men wearing cookies, rest assured you’re not hallucinating. Although you may want to consider getting out of her path.
~ I hope you all have a fun St. Patrick’s Day. If you bake any special treats, be vigilant. Apparently Happy and his friends think it’s funny to sneak into your kitchen and use your cookies to cover their butts.
Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup and check them all out. See you there:
Lucky Rainbow Cookies
1 stick butter, softened
1 stick margarine, softened
¼ cup brown sugar
½ cup white sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 ¼ cups flour
½ tsp baking soda
¼ tsp salt
Food coloring: green, red, yellow
½ cup sugar
vanilla bark or white chocolate chips
6 oz unsalted pistachios, shelled, skinned as much as possible, and chopped
*Cream the butter, margarine and sugars. Beat in the egg and vanilla. Mix in the flour, baking soda and salt.
*Divide the dough into three equal parts. Mix a different color of food coloring into each one. Wrap separately and refrigerate for at least an hour.
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease cookie sheets.
*Remove doughs from the fridge and using about 1 tsp at a time, roll them into strings about 2 inches long (small cookies) or 3 inches long (larger cookies).
*Take one string of each color, line them up together. Put onto cookie sheets and curve to form a rainbow.
*Grease the bottom of a glass with non-stick cooking spray and dip the glass in the ½ cup sugar. Use the sugar coated glass to gently flatten the cookies. You’ll need to keep dipping the glass in more sugar as you go.
*You can use a knife to cut off the ends of the cookies, evening them out.
*Bake for 9 minutes (small) or 12 minutes (large). Don’t let them brown. Allow to sit for 1 minute on the cookie sheet before gently removing. Cool completely.
*Melt the vanilla bark or white chocolate chips in the microwave at 15 second intervals until completely melted. Using a pastry brush, paint each end of your rainbow. Quickly sprinkle with crushed pistachios before it sets.