Not How That Works: Fly on the Wall

 

Welcome to our monthly Fly on the Wall, a blog post written in snippets. Marcia, Diane, and I invite you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes, at our writing desks, and in our worlds. Come on in, buzz around, see what we've been up to. Bet you laugh! 

  

Hubs works mostly from home, only going into the office a few days a week. When he's here, there are times when I can talk to him, and other times when he's working on a client's account and can't talk. 

I'd called to him, but he let me know he was in the middle of working on an account, then had to take a zoom call. Since I told him I didn't need to talk to him that minute, he said he'd let me know when he had time to talk.

Later, he came to find me.

Me: Ummm. Well, clearly, I'm not getting enough exercise.

Hubs: That's what you wanted to tell me?
Me: No. I play 13 brain exercise word and number games every day, and I still can't remember what I wanted to talk to you about a couple of hours ago.

This is the month of April Fools Day. Of course, I had to play a trick on Hubs.

Me: April Fools!

Hubs: What do you mean April Fools? 

Me: I mean April Fools!

Hubs: But you already played an April Fools prank on me in March. You said you were trying to catch me off guard.

Me: And I did, but now it actually is April.

Hubs: But it's not April 1st, it's April 12th.

Me: Surprise!

 

 

Hubs was out doing errands when he called me:

Hubs: Guess what I just found out?
Me: What?
Hubs: I have the same birthday as Taylor Swift.

Me (kinda surprised that he even knows who she is): How did you find that out?

Hubs: I have a sports talk show on in the car, and they were talking about Travis Kelce, and then mentioned her, and somehow her birthday came up, and it's the same as mine.

Me: Oh. OK. Umm . . . congratulations?
Hubs: Well, I mean same day, not the same year.

Me: Well, thanks for clearing that up for me.

Hubs: I wonder if I'm related to her.

Me: I don't think that's how it works . . .

 

 

Hubs was eating breakfast when I looked over and started laughing. 

Hubs: What are you laughing at?

Me: That's not how that works.

Hubs: Eating breakfast?

Me: No, the mathematical concept of 100%.

Hubs: Huh?

Me: Read the large white writing on your juice label.

Hubs (reading): 100% juice. Apple. 

Me: Now read the hard to read, thin black writing below.

Hubs (straining to read): With added ingredients . . . yeah, I think you're right, I'm pretty sure that's not how 100% works.

Hubs had been working out in the front yard. He'd been out there quite a while so I decided to just check on him. 

On the way back in the house, I looked down at the front doormat, then turned around to call out to him.

Me: Don't you think this is a bit extreme?

Hubs: What?

Me: If you're hungry, no need to take a bite out of the doormat. Come on inside, I've got cake.

Black Cherry Cake

You all probably know by now that I take advantage of every opportunity to encourage my son to come visit. He spends a few weeks here at holiday time, and sometimes in the spring I get a week or two with him, but I miss him always.

It was his birthday recently. I wouldn't be able to talk to him until that night, but I did send him a happy birthday text with this picture:

PurDude: Thank you for the birthday wishes, but why did you send me a picture of the kitchen?

Me: It's a picture of the new microwave.

PurDude: Oh, that's nice.

Me: It's your birthday present. You should come try it out.

PurDude: Nice try, mom.

 

I often talk about mistakes I make while trying to text . . . let's say quicker than my efficiency allows. Sometimes I catch them, other times I'm embarrassed when the recipient points them out.

I, unfortunately, mostly make these mistakes when texting with my son, which we do each day. And it's a good thing I double checked before sending this one.

Let me just give you this piece of advice. When texting your son about someone being "down for the count" do not, I repeat, DO NOT, leave the "o" out of the word count.

I was watching one of my murder mystery shows, when Hubs comes into the den and sits down.

Hubs: What are you watching?
Me: A murder mystery, pretty much all I watch.

Hubs: Fact or fiction?
Me: This one is fact.

Hubs: Who got murdered?
Me: A bank manager. The police are gathering information. They got bank records, and cell phone records for both he and his wife.

As the detectives read through the wife's texts, they find one to her brother.

Cop (reading the text): Tonight. I have to kill him tonight.

Me (to Hubs): And you thought I was bad.

I wasn't feeling well, and by early evening I was worn out. I planned to gather everything I needed, put it all on the side table next to the couch, settle in on the couch in front of the TV for a few hours and not move.

I got everything together, settled in, and got comfortable. I reached over to get my tissue, and couldn't find it. On the side table was my water, acetaminophen, cough drops . . . no tissue.

I heard Hubs coming up from the man cave. When he hit the top of the stairs:

Me (angrily): What did you do with my tissue?
Hubs: {{blink, blink}}. 

Me: Well?

Hubs: I'm trying to figure out how to answer you.

Truth is, even after all these years, he still rarely knows how to answer me. Poor guy.

Hubs was out doing an errand and called me before coming home.

Hubs: I'm done with my errand and I'm right next door to the grocery store, do you need anything?

Me: Actually, I'm running really low on paper towels. I use Bounty.

Hubs comes home from the store:

Hubs: There were 2 kinds of Bounty. One is called Bounty Essentials and it costs about half of the regular Bounty paper towels. They say "strong, soft, affordable," is that what you wanted?

Me: Never heard of Essentials.

Hubs: Then I saved us a lot of money. You're welcome.

The next day:

Hubs: Did you try those paper towels I bought?

Me: Yes.

Hubs: How are they?

Me: I suppose they're OK, as long as . . .

Hubs: As long as what?
Me: As long as you don't need them to . . . you know . . . absorb anything.

 

Now click on the links below and see what my friends have to share:

Menopausal Mother 

On the Border

Blaxk Cherry Cake

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

1 box (15.25 oz) white cake mix

1 1/4 cups milk

1/2 cup oil

4 egg whites

1 container (5.3 oz) black cherry yogurt

1 box (.3 oz) sugar free black cherry jello powder, divided

1/3 cup frozen pitted black cherries

8 oz cream cheese, softened

3/4 stick butter, softened

3 cups powdered sugar

remaining 1 1/2 tsp jello powder

up to 3 TBSP milk

Directions:
*Defrost the cherries and chop. Pat dry and set aside.

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9 X 13 baking dish.

*Beat the cake mix, 1 1/4 cup milk, oil, egg whites, yogurt, and 2 tsp jello powder for 2 minutes. Fold in the chopped cherries.
*Pour evenly into the prepared pan and bake for about 35 minutes, until the center springs back to the touch. Cool completely.

*Beat the cream cheese and butter until smooth. Slowly, until incorporated, beat in the powdered sugar and remaining 1 1/2 tsp jello powder. Beat in the milk, 1 TBSP at a time, until the frosting is spreading consistency. 

*Spread the frosting on the cooled cake, decorate as desired.

*Store, covered, in refrigerator. Bring to room temperature for serving.