Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Ancestry: My Murder and Bootlegging Legacy

It's the latest trend; you can tell by how many celebrities are lining up to do it. Droves of people are peering into their ancestry, clawing in the dirt to dig up their roots and embracing who they are within the context of their own personal history.

People clamoring to see where they came from has become so popular that there's actually more than one television show about it. Famous people follow their stories as far back as they can, proud to have come from royalty or patriots, identifying personality traits literally running through their veins.

 But mucking in that dirt is a bit like a gambling trip to Vegas. A big old crap shoot. Before you bumble into the ancestor casino, you may just want to be absolutely sure: do you really want to know who you are? Because while some of us are reveling in connecting with our ancestors, there are others who have succeeded in exposing our families' big, hairy backsides. Kind of like what happened to Ben Affleck. Jumping on the discovering-your-ancestry-on-tv bandwagon, he went off, cameras in tow, to ultimately find out that his ancestors owned slaves.

He wanted the show edited.

Edited? Our histories? We can do that? Let me know how because here I sit, trying to figure out how I rolled those dice and ended up with these snake eyes from my family tree: murder, bootlegging and marrying a brother-in-law.

For me, it all starts with Bobe. Bobe, what I called my great grandmother, had her some balls. She said whatever, whenever. That woman was footloose and filter free. I remember a time - and she was in her 90s at this point - when she was at my aunt's house, over an hour from where I lived. Many family members were there to spend the day with her and since I was at a boyfriend's house nearby, we decided to stop by for a short visit.

Bobe had to be painstakingly prepared. Meaning begged, cajoled and threatened not to say anything that would embarrass me in front of Jon. The relationship was new and we were still in the hiding-the-crazy phase.


Simple Carrot Bread with Cream Cheese Frosting: A one bowl quick bread perfect for breakfast with or without the frosting. | Recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #breakfast

Simple Carrot Bread with Cream Cheese Frosting

We all sat down around the table when, without so much as a slice of Carrot Bread or a civil pleasantry, Bobe looked at Jon and said "so when's the wedding?" All the way around the table eyes rolled. You could hear it. Well, not all the way around the table. I'm pretty sure the guy sitting next to me peed his pants.

That's OK, who needs a guy that your great grandmother can intimidate anyway?

At about this time, two of my distant cousins decided to put together an extensive family history. No disrespect, but the end result was a thick tome filled with 70 bajillion names that meant absolutely nothing to me. But they did something else that did have enormous meaning. They sat Bobe down in front of a tape recorder and said "Talk. Start as far back as you can remember and tell family stories. And out of the backsides of my ancestors came real nuggets of gold.

Bobe remembered the pogroms in Russia. She spoke of her father, his first wife and children. When that wife died the obligation fell to the wife's sister to marry the husband and raise the children. Gives me the heeby jeebies, but this was how it was done back then. And if Bobe's mother hadn't married her dead sister's husband, I would not be here. Not really something I'll have embroidered onto a pillow, but true.

She spoke of one of her brothers being accused of murder. I think it was after a bar fight, but you didn't hear that part from me. He ended up fleeing the country and little by little, as they could, the rest of the family joined him. Murder isn't really what I had in mind for the legacy of my ancestors, but it's how we all ended up in the land of the free and the home of the brave. Well, the brave and those running from murder charges, apparently.


Ancestry: My Murder and Bootlegging Legacy | www.BakingInATornado.com | #humor #family #MyGraphics




There were stories as well about being immigrants in this country. She married and had 5 children but making ends meet was difficult. Bobe and her husband had a small store but she decided to supplement their income. This was during the time of prohibition and she knew just what to do. I mean, it's logical, right? Give the people what they want.

Bobe built a still and made booze in her bathtub, of course.

She did well too. Until the day she came home and found my grandmother and her twin sister biting their nails and peeing their pants. The police had stopped by and would be back the next day to talk with Bobe and search the house.

Not willing to give up another country because of running from the law, Bobe got to work. She broke down the still and put the pieces into a baby carriage. Head held high she walked that baby right down Main Street, then a little more furtively through back alleys to a place she could safely dispose of it. Bobe didn't just have balls, she had big brass balls.

So there they are: my roots. Slightly twisted but they run deep. now it's up to me to carry on the traits that have made this family what it is today. I don't know about running from a murder charge, but I have teenagers so I won't rule it out. A still in the bathtub? Now that intrigues me. But I think I'll start small. The next time one of my boys brings a new girlfriend home, I promise you Bobe, she is SO gonna wish she had worn a diaper.

Genealogical Responsibilities:

? Run from a Murder Charge
? Bootleg some kick-ass hooch
X Marry a brother-in-law

Embarrass the crap out of a guest

I'm one for four. It's a start. Think I'll work on that bootleg thing.

Note: This post was originally published on BLUNTmoms as Ancestry: Do You Really Want to Know Who You Are? on 4/28/15.


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Simple Carrot Bread with Cream Cheese Frosting
                                                                        ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
Ingredients:
1 stick butter, softened
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1 cup grated carrots (about 2 large carrots)

3 oz cream cheese, softened
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup powdered sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon
Opt: 1 TBSP milk


Directions: 
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 9 X 5 loaf pan.
*Cream the butter,  sugar, brown sugar, eggs and 1/2 tsp vanilla. 
*Mix in the flour, baking soda, salt, 1 tsp cinnamon and pumpkin pie spice, then beat for one minute. Mix in the grated carrots.
*Bake for 50 to 60 minutes or until the center springs back to the touch.
*Cool in the pan for ten minutes, then run a knife along the edge and remove. Cool completely before frosting.
*Cream the cream cheese and 1/2 tsp vanilla. Slowly and carefully beat in the powdered sugar. If the frosting is too thick, beat in the milk, a little at a time until it's of spreading consistency. Spread onto the top and sides of carrot bread.
*Store in refrigerator. Bring to room temp for serving.

Friday, May 27, 2016

Funny Friday: No Day at the Beach

Today’s post is May’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Funny Friday: One picture, Five Captions | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics



Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by Jules of The Bergham Chronicles


Funny Friday, one picture, five captions | Picture by Jules of The Bergham Chronicles | www.BakingInATornado.com




1. Gigi to her mom: OK, my face is washed! What else do you need me to do?

2.Gigi to her dad: Fish? What fish? I don't see any fish.

3. Gigi to her parents: Nope, not even close. This is no day at the beach.

4. Gigi's mom to Gigi's dad: That might not be the best idea I ever had. I really hope that thing doesn't get stuck on her face. That would be fun to try to explain in the ER.

5. Gigi (indignantly) to her parents: I AM blowing bubbles, but they're just going up my nose.


And now for something yummy:
 
 
Pepperoni Pizza Burgers: Pepperoni Pizza meets a cheeseburger, all the flavors of pepperoni pizza incorporated into a grilled burger | Recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #dinner

Pepperoni Pizza Burgers
 
Pepperoni Pizza Burgers: Pepperoni Pizza meets a cheeseburger, all the flavors of pepperoni pizza incorporated into a grilled burger | Recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #dinner


Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:

Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
Not That Sarah Michelle 
Southern Belle Charm 
My Brain on Kids 
 Spatulas on Parade 
The Bergham Chronicles  
Measurements of Merriment 




Baking In A Tornado signature | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics






Pepperoni Pizza Burgers
                                                                        ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients (makes 4):
4 rolls
4 TBSP butter, room temperature
garlic powder
1 1/2# ground beef
1/4 cup finely chopped pepperoni
1/4 cup marinara sauce
1 TBSP Italian Seasoning 
1/4 cup grated parmesan 
Seasoned salt
4 slices mozzarella
4 slices tomato

Directions:
*Slice rolls. Spread butter on inside of rolls and sprinkle with garlic powder.
*Mix the ground beef, pepperoni, marinara, Italian Seasoning and parmesan. Form into 4 equal sized patties. Sprinkle both sides with seasoned salt to taste.
*Spray the grates of your cold grill with nonstick spray. Heat grill to medium high. 
*Place the pizza burger patties and rolls (buttered side down) onto the grill and lower heat to medium. Watch the rolls carefully and check frequently. Remove immediately once they start to brown.
*Cook the pizza burger patties, flipping once, to desired doneness. About 5 - 7 minutes per side usually works for medium. The last minute, place a slice of mozzarella on each patty.
*Remove and top each patty with a slice of tomato. Place each patty into a grilled roll.


 

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

In Other News

Good morning. I'm Karen BakingInATornado sitting in for your regular anchor at the news desk today. There's a lot going on, so let's get to the news.

In Other News, a humorous look at the news | www.BakingInATornado.com | #funny #MyGraphics



In the National News, the Presidential campaign season continues with name calling, temper tantrums, and allegations of no-fairsies. The latest polls show that 90% of the voting public agree that time-outs are in order.

Also of note nationally, the newly formed think tank Moms Inc has announced a research breakthrough. They are now able to definitively prove that the leading cause of toddlerhood is birth.

And in a related story, a renowned Denver based medical team, after lengthy studies into the effects of screaming babies, toddlers, preteens and teenagers on the health of parents, have concluded that medical marijuana can actually increase a parent's life span. And their sleep time. And their waist line.

Locally, a national large retailer has announced that our area will be a test market for their newest cost saving measures. Grocery shoppers in their stores will not only be asked to use the self check out stands after shopping, but will now need to self stock the shelves before shopping.

And in our neighborhoods, a large contingent of local citizens are going door to door soliciting signatures for a unique bond issue proposal. The bond would stipulate that funds be set aside for sirens, similar to tornado sirens, that would serve as a life saving warning when a new driver is on the road.


In sports there is a proposal gaining momentum in the Boston area. The Red Sox not only swept the Yankees in their first series of the season but continue to do well. In a novel move, Red Sox fans traumatized by the last few seasons have petitioned the MLB to suspend the season now and just move on to the playoffs. 

And in the most recent of the never ending chapters of deflate-gate, the US Appeals Court reinstated the 4 game suspension of Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady. Proving, once and for all, that Roger Goodell cannot bring himself to let go of Brady's balls.



Chicken Hash Brown Croquettes with Honey Mustard Sauce: A chicken and hash brown patty bread and fried to a crispy brown served with a simple Honey Mustard Sauce | Recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #dinner


Chicken Hash Brown Croquettes with Honey Mustard Sauce

In human interest breaking news, dinner has been named the leading cause of dirty dishes, resulting in the recommendation that families eat out at least 7 times a week.

It was only a matter of time, but law enforcement has officially come out strongly against an app that will blur your driver's license photo.

Proponents of early education have sighted the proficiency of toddlers in mastering the art of the selfie as proof that children as young as two can be taught valuable life skills.

And in the weather, it seems that April showers were so aggressive through the center of the country this year that all residents have been warned not to step onto their lawn without wearing a life vest.

Finally, although the National Weather Service is reporting that the sun will come out tomorrow, this station is not recommending that you bet your bottom dollar.

This is Karen BakingInATornado thanking you for joining me today on this, my virgin broadcast. If you enjoyed today's show, please contact your local news station. And Dancing With The Stars. I was born for Dancing With The Stars.


Baking In A Tornado signature | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics




Chicken Hash Brown Croquettes with Honey Mustard Sauce
                                                                        ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
 
Ingredients:
1 package Simply Potatoes Hash Browns
1 1/2 cups cooked shredded or finely chopped chicken
1/2 large carrot, shredded
1/4 cup shredded cheddar
1/4 cup shredded pepper jack
1/2 cup frozen chopped onion, defrosted and remove excess water
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1/8 tsp cayenne
3/4 cup flour
2 eggs
1/2 stick butter, melted


1 1/2 cup seasoned bread crumbs  
vegetable oil

1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup spicy brown mustard
2 TBSP honey
1/4 tsp cumin
dash of salt

Directions:
*Sauce: Whisk together the mayonnaise, mustard, honey, cumin and salt. Cover and refrigerate.

*Mix the potatoes, chicken, carrot, cheeses, onion, salt, pepper and cayenne. Mix in the flour, then the eggs and butter.
*Using your hands, roll into about 15 equal sized balls and place in fridge for an hour.
*Place the croquettes, 1 at a time, in the bread crumbs. Gently flatten into a patty, flip over and cover the other side with bread crumbs. Refrigerate one hour.
*Heat about 1/4 cup of vegetable oil in a saute pan until hot. Cook the croquettes, about 4 or 5 at a time. Cook until the bottom is completely browned.
*Gently flip over and cook the other side. Remove to paper towels to drain. Keep warm while cooking the other batches.
*You may need to add more vegetable oil between batches.
*Serve with sauce.

Friday, May 20, 2016

Fly on the Wall: Flirting 101

Welcome to a monthly Fly on the Wall group post. Today 8 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house. At the end of my post you’ll find links to this month’s other participants’ posts.

Fly on the Wall | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics





It was a beautiful Saturday morning, but the sky looked a little iffy. Hubs got dressed and headed to the garage.

Hubs: I think I better get the lawn mowed in case it does rain.
Me: If you want to split it with me, let me know and I'll come out and do half.
Hubs: If it starts to rain, come on out and I'll let you finish.

It's so wonderful to be loved and cherished.


Fly on the Wall | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics

It gets so windy in the Spring in the Midwest.
SO windy.
How windy does it get?
Well, I saw this on the way home:




Fly on the Wall | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics

And I spent the rest of the drive hoping I wasn't going to find the contents on my lawn. 

'Cause that's happened before.


Fly on the Wall | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics

I was at the grocery store and as I headed towards the blackberries I needed for a recipe, I noticed a very nice looking man standing there looking at the strawberries.

As I walked up, he smiled and said "hi". I did too. I chose my berries and went on my way.

That night at dinner, I thought I'd play it up a bit.

Me: A gorgeous guy flirted with me in the grocery store today.
Hubs: What did he do?
Me: He smiled.
Hubs: What did he say?
Me: Well, he said "hi".
Hubs: Really? Smiled and said "hi"? Well, then I guess my boss, coworkers and all of my clients were flirting with me today too.

Guess he's not the jealous sort.


Fly on the Wall | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics

Undeterred, I tried again the next night.

Me: Some guy was really flirting with me today at the drug store.
Hubs (rolling his eyes): Someone else smile and say "hello"? You really need to get out more.
Me: Jeez, can you at least pretend that you care. 
Hubs: OK, tell me about how impressed some guy was by your nasal spray and bandaids. I hear they're going to replace oysters as aphrodisiacs.
 
I'm thinking we've been together too long. 


 Fly on the Wall | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics

Hubs comes home from work the next day with these:

Fly on the Wall: Flirting 101 | www.BakingInATornado.com



Me: It's not my birthday.
Hubs: No.
Me: I didn't miss our anniversary.
Hubs: No.
Me: What are the flowers for?
Hubs: I'm flirting with you.

OK, fine, so maybe he's a keeper after all.

Berry Key Lime Pie in a Nut Crust, the classic Key Lime pie kicked up a notch with the addition of a berry swirl and served in a walnut crust | Recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #pie

 Berry Key Lime Pie in a Nut Crust


Berry Key Lime Pie in a Nut Crust, the classic Key Lime pie kicked up a notch with the addition of a berry swirl and served in a walnut crust | Recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #pie



It had been a rainy day, but it was clearing up a bit at dinner time and I really wanted to cook the wings on the grill. I lit it, heated the wings, and when I went out to bring them in, it started to rain. No, not rain, pour.

Next thing I know, I'm at the grill on the deck getting soaked. Totally soaked. The food too. And Hubs is standing in the house, completely dry, lecturing me on cooking on the grill on a rainy day. I was not happy.

During dinner it stopped raining, but when Hubs went out to clean the grill it started again. Somehow he accidentally got locked out there for a bit. I have no idea how that happened . . .


Fly on the Wall | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics
It was the last week of school and I was texting with PurDude about some information I needed from him. He responded but for some reason the exact same text kept coming. I received it 4 times in rapid succession. Later I was texting with him again and again his text came through, then a second time. 

Me: You don't have to send me the same text multiple times, I'm not that old, I get it the first time.
PurDude: No idea what you're talking about. Love you, Mom.
Me: Now that you can say multiple times!
{{silence}}

Fly on the Wall | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics


Me: They say everyone has a doppleganger.
College Boy: A what?
Me: A doppleganger. You know, someone who looks just like you.
College Boy: Yeah, I can see that.
Me: So who do you think my doppleganger is?
College Boy: Donald Trump.

You'd think I'd know better by now, right?


Fly on the Wall | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics

It had gotten really nice out and we decided to shut the heat off in the house. So, of course, a few days later it gets cold out again. I really didn't want to put the heat back on, but I was finally ready to give in.

Hubs was downstairs in the man-cave and I was up in the den. I called down to him:
Me: Do you think we should turn the heat back on?
Hubs: No, it's not that cold.
Me: Really, I'm freezing.
Hubs: I just put a sweatshirt on and I'm fine. 

I walk downstairs and he's got the fireplace going. 
Me: Yeah, I'll go upstairs and put the heat on now . . .

Fly on the Wall | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics

We were in the countdown to PurDude coming home from school. His last  few weeks had been incredibly trying and I was worried about him as he headed into finals, but excited to be getting him home.

The last day of classes was room picking day and wills day. PurDude really likes the room he's had this year and was concerned that someone picking ahead of him would take it. Wills is when the graduating seniors in his frat leave tokens to brothers.

He called me to tell me that he had been able to keep his room. I wanted to talk to him but he rushed off the phone saying "sorry Mom, can't talk now, they're starting wills and I want to get in there."

He sounded great. Relieved about his room and happier in general. Considering the conversations I'd been having with him over the last few weeks I have to admit that never have I been so happy to have my child tell me that he didn't have time for me.

Now click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:





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Berry Key Lime Pie in a Nut Crust
                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
2 cups chopped walnuts
1/4 cup sugar
4 oz raspberries
2 oz blackberries
1 TBSP sugar
1 TBSP cornstarch
1 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk
4 egg yolks
3 oz key lime juice

Directions:
*Grease a 9 inch pie plate. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
*Place the rinsed berries in a pan on the stove with 1 TBSP sugar and 1 TBSP water. Use a whisk to stir and to break down the berries while heating on medium high. Bring to a boil. Allow to boil for one minute, then lower the heat to low.
*Mix the cornstarch with 1 TBSP cold water. Whisk into the berry mixture and continue whisking for one minute. Remove from heat. Push through a strainer, discarding the seeds.
*Place the walnuts in a food processor. While processing, slowly add the sugar through the chute and continue processing until the mixture starts to stick together.
*Pat the mixture into and up the sides of the pie plate. Bake for 10 minutes and remove the crust from the oven. Lower the oven temperature to 350 degrees.
*Whisk the sweetened condensed milk, egg yolks and key lime juice. 
*Pour half of the key lime mixture into the pie crust. Drizzle with about 1/3 of the berry mixture and gently, using a knife, swirl. Pour the rest of the key lime mixture, then another 1/3 of the berry mixture and swirl again.
*Cover the remaining berry mixture and refrigerate for drizzling on slices of pie when serving.
*Place the pie in the oven and bake for 15 minutes, until set. Allow to cool. Store in the fridge.