Welcome to a monthly Fly on the Wall group post. Today 4 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house. At the end of my post you’ll find links to this month’s other participants’ posts.
I wrote, in a Use Your Words writing challenge, about my neighbor who over the years seems to keep buying toys which it appears he's never allowed to keep. I said, in that post, Procure vs Secure, that he's bought a riding lawn mower, and it seems he's been allowed to keep it. His lawn is not big enough, and it ends in a steep drop.
I tried not to laugh, I really did, last week when I saw a bunch of men from the neighborhood walk down into the drop at the end of his yard. A few minutes later I heard his lawn mower turn on and watched as the men, mightily straining, pushed him up the hill on his new toy.
I don't know if he's riding the mower down the hill any more or if maybe he's learned that lesson, but he is still out there mowing his lawn every single day.
Hubs: Is he out there mowing his lawn again?
Me: Yup, every day.
Hubs: It doesn't need to be mowed that much, he must really enjoy that toy.
Me: Yes, he seems really happy, riding around in circles every day with a big hoagie hanging out of his mouth.
Hubs: Hoagie?
Me: Yes, a cigar.
Hubs: I think you mean stogie.
And now every day when I hear his mower crank up I start laughing picturing him riding around with a big meatball grinder hanging out of his mouth.
This was a kinda interesting text conversation between Hubs and I:
Hubs: I'm heading home, what are you up to? Do you need anything while I'm out?
Me: No, I'm just watering my pants.
Hubs: You mean you're doing laundry?
Me: No, I did laundry yesterday.
Hubs: So you're just getting them wet?
Me: That's the goal.
Hubs: But why?
Me: So they'll grow.
Hubs: I don't think that'll work. If you need the next size, you may need to just get them.
Me: The next size? What are you talking about?
Hubs: Your pants. You said you're watering your pants.
Me: Oh, LOL, my bad, I'm watering my plants.
Another day, another text message. This time I caught it myself.
After Hubs' surgery, he wasn't supposed to lift anything heavy for 2 weeks. When we were bringing the groceries into the house, I grabbed all the heavier bags at once so he wouldn't try to bring them in. As I was putting them onto the counter, I heard a pop and felt pain in my shoulder. Not good.
Don't know what I did to it, it wasn't dislocated, but it hurt. The next afternoon Hubs was coming home from work and texted me.
Hubs: Heading home, do you need anything?
Me: Can you bring me something for my shoulder, it's really smelling.
Hubs: OK.
Fortunately I re-read my text and was able to correct my mistake while he was still at the store.
Me: I meant swelling, not smelling.
Hubs: Oh, OK.
He came home with an ice pack and ibuprophen.
Me: Tell me the truth, you were going to bring me deodorant, weren't you?
Hubs: Maybe . . .
I was getting into the shower when I jumped back, there was a spider in there. Scared the cr@p out of me.
Later:
Me: I do not appreciate you putting a spider in the shower.
Hubs: Duly noted.
That afternoon in a text to PurDude:
Me: Don't ever put a spider in my shower again.
PurDude: I'm 550 miles away.
Me: That doesn't make it right.
And later still:
Me: Why did you put a spider in my shower?
College Boy: In your shower? I told him to stay in your bed.
Mocha Cinnamon Scones
College Boy walks in, I tell him what's for dinner and ask if he'll be here.
College Boy: I'll pass.
Me: Why?
College Boy: I don't like what you're making for dinner.
Me: Since when?
College Boy: Since always.
Me: Well, the rest of us love it.
College Boy: It's the worst thing you make.
Me (shocked): That's kinda mean.
College Boy: I take it back.
Me: Good.
College Boy: Yeah, you've made worse.
I went out front to water my flowers. As I opened the door to come back in, I almost knocked into College Boy with the door.
Me: Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you were standing right there.
College Boy: I wasn't just about to lock you out.
I'm thinking he was just about to lock me out. Which, I suppose, is better than locking me up.
There
are a lot of things we try to teach our children, some they learn and
some they just never do. Then there are the things we don't try to
instill, but they pick up anyway. For me, one of those "don't try to
instill" things is my sarcastic sense of humor. I always wanted the boys
to get it, to get me, which was sometimes a challenge in and of itself,
but I didn't necessarily want them to mimic it. Yet . . .
College Boy comes in, starts his laundry, heads upstairs, then comes running back down and races through the kitchen.
Me: What's wrong?
College Boy: I forgot to add detergent.
Me (laughing): Ha, I've done that a time or two myself.
College Boy: Yeah, but you're old.
It
was a lazy weekend afternoon. Hubs was outside mowing the lawn and I
was sitting in the office by the window reading in my lounge chair. I
heard Hubs come in the house but didn't hear the garage door go down.
We'd had things stolen out of our garage in the past so I always listen
for the door to go down. I caught him as he was headed through the
house.
Me: Hey, are you all finished out there?
Hubs: Yup.
Me: I didn't hear the garage door go down.
Hubs: I know, I'm not quite done out there.
It's not just me, right?
College Boy was on the phone in the other room, talking to my mom. I could hear the conversation so he must have had her on speaker:
Grammy: What's your mom doing?
College Boy: She's watching TV.
Grammy: What's she watching?
College Boy: She mostly watches murder shows and the Red Sox.
Grammy: What's she watching now?
College Boy: Do you hear any screaming?
Grammy: The murder shows make her scream?
College Boy: No, if she's screaming, she's watching the Red Sox.
And he's right.
Now click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:
Mocha Cinnamon Scones
©www.BakingInATornado.com
Ingredients:
3 cups flour
1/3 cup brown sugar
3/4 tsp salt
1 TBSP baking powder
2 TBSP instant coffee granules
1 stick butter, sliced
3/4 cup dark chocolate chips
1/3 cup cinnamon baking chips
2 eggs
up to 2/3 cup cold brewed coffee
1 tsp vanilla
2 TBSP butter
Directions:
*Cover a baking sheet with parchment paper.
*Pulse the flour, brown sugar, salt, baking powder, instant coffee granules, and sliced butter in a food processor just a couple of times until crumbly. Move to a bowl, mix in the dark chocolate chips and cinnamon baking chips, set aside.
*In a separate small bowl, whisk the eggs, 1/3 cup of the cold coffee, and the vanilla. Add to the dry ingredients and stir just until it comes together, it should be moist but not wet. If it's too dry to hold together, add the remaining coffee, 1 TBSP at a time, until it does.
*Turn the dough onto a floured counter, flour your hands and knead a few times just until the dough holds together and can form a ball.
*Place the dough onto the prepared baking sheet and flatten evenly to about a 1 inch thick disk. Cut, like you would a pizza (and a pizza cutter works really well), into quarter, then cut each quarter into three triangles. Gently pull each piece out a little to separate the slices.
*Place the baking sheet into the refrigerator for 1/2 hour. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
*Melt the remaining 2 TBSP butter and brush onto the scones. Bake for 25 minutes. Allow to cool slightly, serve warm.