Spiderman Meets Electro: Funny Friday

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here's today's picture. It was submitted by Jules of The Bergham Chronicles.

1. Mom (to herself): "Fix my hair," she said. "I know it takes a long time but I want it to be pretty," she said. That's an hour of my life I'll never get back.

2. Gigi: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all? 

3. Gigi: Mom, I love this. Put it on my Christmas list.
Mom: Oh honey, this is a Van de Graaff static electricity generator, not a toy you can get for Christmas. 
Gigi: Don't worry, Santa will figure out a way to bring it to me.
Mom (under her breath): Great. Just great.

4.Gigi: Mom, I need to go home right now and change my clothes.
Mom: Why, honey, did something happen?
Gigi: Yes, something happened. I wore my Spiderman outfit and I need to wear Electro.
Mom: I think it's OK for you to be wearing the Spiderman outfit, honey. You can be Electro next time.
Gigi: NO Mom, we need to go home now, I'm afraid I'll confuse all of the little kids.
Mom (through gritted teeth to her husband): Great idea you had for a fun day, taking her to the museum . . . letting her wear whatever she wants . . . now we're doing wardrobe changes?

5.Gigi: Wow, I look exactly like mom does when she comes in the house on a cold winter day and takes her hat off.

{{mom turns red as everyone in the museum laughs}}


 And now for something yummy: 

Seafood Macaroni and Cheese

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:
Southern Belle Charm 
The Bergham Chronicles
Cognitive Script 

Seafood Macaroni and Cheese

                                                           ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1# package Elbow macaroni
4.5 oz can of Lump Crab meat, drain and pat dry
12 oz small cooked shrimp, peeled, deveinved, tail off
1 cup half and half
2 oz jar pimentos, well drained
1/2 cup creamy dill dip
2 cups Colby jack cheese, shredded
1 cup parmesan cheese, shredded
1 1/4 cups garlic and butter seasoned croutons, crushed, divided
1/4 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp salt
1/8 tsp cayenne pepper
2 eggs, lightly beaten with a fork

Directions:
*Grease a 9 X 13 baking dish. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
*Cook macaroni to al dente. Rinse 2 or 3 times with cold water to stop the cooking process and cool it down. Drain well. Mix in the crab and the shrimp.
*Mix the half and half, pimentos, dip, Colby jack, parmesan, 3/4 cup of the crushed croutons, salt, pepper, cayenne and eggs into the macaroni.
*Put into the prepared dish. Sprinkle with the remaining crushed croutons.
*Bake for 35 minutes. It should be bubbling around the edges.

Winter Mishigas

I hate this winter. It's been one thing after another. There were constant snow storms. Nothing major, just 3 to 5 inches each time, but they kept coming, time after time after time. I had infections in both of my ears and a broken toe, making it just as difficult to leave the house in the smaller snow events (since I could only wear a flip flop on one foot) as it would have been in larger snow storms. 

To make things worse, we had whipping winds. More than once we joined our neighbors chasing trash cans up the street (yes, with me in flip flops) and of course on one of the coldest days PurDude had his first flat tire of the year (and yes, multiple flat tires in a year is a thing, for his car anyway). 

So, needless to say, I spent a lot of time in the house. And although I love to read, scream and swear at the national news and play a little sudoku, winter is (take my word for it) a long, long, long season. Out of desperation, I came up with a few diversions around the house to keep me occupied. And, big bonus, a fun game to play with the family at the end of the day. I thought I'd share some of my new pastimes. If you ever find yourself with 2 ear infections and a broken toe in the winter time, perhaps you'll need to amuse yourself too. 

~ Count all of your toothpicks. 
     *Remember this number but don't tell anyone, it's on a need to know basis (trust me on this).

~ Do the laundry, not just the underwear because you don't have a clean pair, all of the laundry.
     *Keep track of how many loads you've done. 

~ Go through the fridge and throw out any item with a "use by" date before the year 2000. 
     *Be sure to make note of how many items you discard.

~ Use every item in your make-up drawer. Color is cheerful on a dismal day.
     *You may want to refrain from posting a pic on social media. Unless, of course, you're so desperate to leave the house you don't mind doing it in a straight jacket.

~ Open a bag of candy. You know, the one hiding in your underwear drawer or in the back of your baking ingredients shelf (don't even try to tell me you don't hide candy, no way I'll believe you) and count how many pieces are inside. Compare it to the number specified on the package. Hint: If you get the same number as the company, count again. Use your fingers and toes if you have to. I won't tell.
     *Yes, note both numbers.

~ Bake. Duh. 
     *Write up a blog post and share the recipe. They'll be so impressed.

Tastes Like a Candy Bar Cookies

~ Rearrange all of your seasonings and spices in alphabetical order.
     *Take a picture and post on Instagram. They'll be so impressed.

~ Do a dinner challenge. Make dinner with whatever you have on hand. Anything with a "use by" date of 2000 till present is fair game.
     *Snapchat a pic of your concoction creation. They'll be so impressed.

~ Now that you've cooked dinner, re-rearrange all of your seasonings and spices back in alphabetical order. 
     *Note: no need to post the re-arrangement on Instagram. However, if it doesn't look exactly like it did last time, go through them singing your ABCs to see where you went wrong.

~ When the family gathers for dinner, offer to play a new game of trivia to see who cleans the kitchen and takes out the trash. 
     *Sample trivia questions:
      How many toothpicks do we have in the house?
      How many loads of laundry does it take to clean all of our clothes?
       How many items did we have sitting in the fridge that had a "use by" date before the year 2000?
     How many different colors are represented on my face? 
      Tell them how many candies the bag says are in the package. How many are there actually? This can be a trick question, of course as you may have eaten a few when counting. But that's for you to know and them to never find out.
      What are the ingredients in this dinner?

~ Take a picture of whoever is doing the after dinner chores and send it to everyone in your "contacts" list. They'll be so impressed.
     

Is it Spring yet? Please tell me it's almost Spring . . .

Tastes Like a Candy Bar Cookies        
                                    ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients (makes about 50 cookies):
1 stick butter, room temperature
1 stick margarine, room temperature
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
1 box (about 3.5 oz) Almond Joy, Mounds or Hershey's Chocolate instant pudding mix
2 eggs
2 1/4 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda 
1 1/4 cups chocolate chips, semi sweet, dark or a combination of both
1/2 cup of toasted coconut, brickle baking chips or a combination of both

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cover baking sheets with parchment paper
*Cream together the butter, margarine, brown sugar, sugar, and pudding mix of your choice. Beat in the eggs.
*Slowly at first until incorporated, beat in the flour and baking soda. Add the mix-ins of your choice.
*Roll into 1 inch balls and place on the prepared baking sheets. Bake for 10 minutes. Allow to sit on the baking sheets for 2 minutes before removing to cool completely.

Lock Him Out: Fly on the Wall

Welcome to a monthly Fly on the Wall group post. Today 6 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house. At the end of my post you’ll find links to this month’s other participants’ posts.

My poor husband, you can always tell when he's really tired.

A few times a week he works late and I leave a plate for him to stick in the microwave when he gets home. If the dishwasher is fairly full, I put the detergent in the dishwasher so he eats, sticks his plate in the dishwasher and turns it on. 

A few days ago the dishwasher was really full in the afternoon so I ran and emptied it.

The next morning I realized that when Hubs came home, he ate his dinner, put his plate in the empty dishwasher and, with no detergent, turned it on and ran it.

I have infections in both of my ears. College Boy was talking to me about it.

College Boy: You know how PurDude has tubes in his ears?
Me: No, he doesn't now.
College Boy: I thought he still did.
Me: They're not permanent. He had them 3 or 4 times but hasn't had them in like 25 years.
College Boy: Not sure how that works since he's only 22 . . .

I was trying a new cookie recipe, Butterscotch White Chocolate Chip Crinkles and, of course, just as they were coming out of the oven, College Boy walked in.

College Boy: Can I try one?
Me: They're just coming out of the oven, I'm not sure they'd be good hot.
College Boy: I'll let you know.

Give the boy credit, he knows to let me pick which cookies I'll want for pictures so he lets me choose one for him.

College Boy: They're really good hot.
Me: Good, they came out, they'll be even better once they cool.
College Boy: I don't know if I'll like them cool, I should have another hot one.

Smiling, I choose him another one, and then at his urging, another.

College Boy: One more?
Me: Enough, you've had four.
College Boy: Three.
Me: Whatever, you've had enough.
College Boy (surreptitiously grabs a cookie and shoves the whole thing in his mouth) mumbles: You're right. Four.

BTW: He's only still alive because the one he swiped wasn't one I'd chosen for pictures.

It was a freezing cold day and the wind made it worse. I looked out on the deck and saw my table covered in snow. For some reason I decided it would be a good idea to take pictures of the plate of cookies out on the snow covered table.

While I was out there, Hubs came upstairs and, when I came in, was in the kitchen making a sandwich. I have no idea if he knew I was even out on the deck, let alone what I was doing out there.

Me (walking in the door): It's SO cold out there.
Hubs: It's cold with that door open for just a minute.
Me: I think my cookies are frozen.
Hubs: . . . and "cookies" are a euphemism for . . .
Me (grabbing the plate of cookies from outside and placing them on the counter): Actually, I think my literal cookies are frozen.

It was a rare weekend night when both boys were going to be here for dinner. I had made Baby Backs, a favorite of PurDude's. 

College Boy: What's for dinner?
Me: Baby Backs. 
College Boy: Oh.
Me: Oh?
College Boy: I've decided to be a vegetarian.
Me: What do you mean?
College Boy: It's nothing philosophical, really, I just don't like meat any more.
Me: Any meat?
College Boy: Pretty much, so I've stopped eating it.
Me: I made a new side dish to go with the barbecued ribs, a sweet and spicy cauliflower and butternut squash. It has apples and onions in it. I can make some rice and you can eat it over rice.
College Boy: I don't like cauliflower. 
Me: You basically don't like any vegetables. Or fruits for that matter. But you're going to be a vegetarian?
College Boy: Well, I haven't worked out the logistics yet.

Sweet and Spicy Cauliflower and Squash

Since I had pre-made the ribs but was heating them up on the grill, and since it had snowed that morning, Hubs was kind enough to go out and shovel off the back porch for me.

I opened the slider while he was out there and asked him to just take the cover off of the grill before he came in. He agreed and I went upstairs to put the laundry away.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought I was hearing banging, but I ignored it. When I came back downstairs, there was Hubs, out on the deck, banging on the door. 

Yup, I locked him out.

PurDude and his friends had come to the house to finally get the Kegerator he'd brought home from college and move it to PurDude's apartment.

It had been a while since some of his friends had been here. They walked in the door and I heard:

BB: It's been a while since I've been here. It almost feels like being back in high school and hanging out on a Saturday night.

He walks into the kitchen, sees a plate of cookies sitting on the counter, and grabs one.

BB: Now it feels exactly like being back in high school and hanging out on a Saturday night.

PurDude and BB had to borrow one of our cars to get the Kegerator downtown. We've always had only one SUV, but right now Hubs and I both have one. PurDude wanted to know which one to take.

Me: You should take mine.
Hubs: No, you should take mine, it's got more room in the back.
Me: Mine has those WeatherTech car mats that will protect the back. And mine has a great sound system. And it drives more smoothly. And . . .
Hubs: Is everything a competition?
Me: You mean it's not? 

 

I woke up on Sunday a few weeks ago excited for the day. Purdue was playing basketball in the morning and if they won would tie for first place in the Big 10. Then that night was the Superbowl, and my Patriots were playing. 

I could smell the coffee brewing in the kitchen, got up and headed for the bedroom door when I caught my baby toe on the bedpost. I heard it crack. 

I sat on the couch in a lot of pain.

Me: Can you defrost the burgers for later? I can't get up, I broke my toe.
Hubs: Sure.

Later . . .

Me: Can you bring me some water and aspirin? I can't get up, I broke my toe.
Hubs: Sure.

Later, Hubs had been downstairs and, of course, comes up just as I'm standing at the fridge pouring a glass of wine.

Hubs: I thought you couldn't get up because you broke your toe.
Me: I broke my toe, not my mind . . . 

Hubs was out doing errands on a Saturday afternoon and called to ask if I needed anything. I didn't but I was making soup for dinner and thought I'd like to serve it with a loaf of crusty Sourdough bread so I asked him to stop by Panera and grab a loaf.

Twenty minutes later Hubs comes back with a box of chocolate croissants from Panera. No bread, just the croissants.

Ask me if I'm surprised.

Now click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:

Never Ever Give Up Hope  
Menopausal Mother 
Spatulas on Parade
Follow me home 
The Bergham Chronicles 

Sweet and Spicy Cauliflower and Squash

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 head cauliflower
1# butternut squash (can use a package of pre-chopped squash)
1/2 onion, sliced thin
1/2 apple, chopped
1 cup BBQ sauce
2 TBSP apricot jam
2 tsp hot sauce

Directions:
*Rinse the cauliflower, cut into florets and pat dry. Place in a large microwave safe bowl.
*Peel, remove seeds and chop the squash into small pieces. Place in the bowl with the cauliflower. Cover and set aside.
*Coat a saucepan with non-stick spray. Heat to medium and add the onion and apple. Cook and stir until soft. 
*Add the BBQ sauce, jam and hot sauce to the pan with the onion and apple. Lower the heat and cook, stirring now and then for 15 minutes.
*Microwave the cauliflower and butternut squash for 3 1/2 minutes. Drizzle with the sauce.