I pretty much every month, talk about my messed up texts with PurDude, sometimes it's autocorrect that's my downfall, other times I'm just typing too quickly and not being careful.
He knows that I've always been a voracious reader, and that I bake to calm my stress, but lately I've been binge watching some streaming miniseries.
You know that PurDude and I text every day, usually just a quick check in, but I always try to add something about what I'm doing or what's going on with the family.
Last week:
PurDude: How are you, mom?
Me: I'm good. Cold out today so I'm baking. When it's this cold out, the best hobbies are reading, binge washing, and, of course, baking.
PurDude: Is Gisella not cleaning the house any more? I'm not sure I can picture you binge washing anything. Or enjoying it.
Me: Watching. Binge watching. Ugh.
We were watching the Olympics (I'm obsessed), when, during his routine, the USA men's skater did a back flip, landing perfectly on his skates.
Hubs: I could never do that on ice.
Me: You could never do that on solid ground. In fact . . .
Hub (interrupting me): OK, that's enough.
Me: But I was just getting started . . .
I don't know if it was karma coming back to me for teasing Hubs about back flips on ice, but it was not much later that I actually almost did one.
The trash can was at the curb and there was a little snow on the driveway. At least that's what I thought, it was actually icy in places. I was walking down the driveway when I started to slip and slide. Arms flailing, trying not to fall and break my ass, I jumped over to the side onto the (snowy but not icy) lawn, and gained control. Phew.
It wasn't until I was coming back in the door when I realized Hubs was watching me:
Hubs (laughing): Wow, you stayed on your feet.
Me: Not funny, I could have broken my ass, or my arm, or my leg.
Hubs: That was a great save. I'd give you an 8.
Me: And that was just my short program . . .
Every year, Hubs' firm sends out chocolates to all of the employees. We usually don't know they're coming until they show up.
This year though, Hubs got an email from Fed Ex saying a package was coming the next day. We're not sure how they got his email address but, whatever.
The next day Hubs got an email saying that Thad would deliver the package between 12pm and 2pm. Right around 2:00, a Fed Ex truck drove up, sat in front of our house for a while, and left.
A while later Hubs got another email saying that the package would arrive by 8pm.
It didn't.
I was teasing Hubs, telling him that Thad probably sat in front of our house eating our chocolates.
The next day, an email came saying that the package was on the truck for delivery.
Hubs was gone when it came, so I texted him:
Me: The chocolates came.
Me: The chocolates came.
Hubs: Oh, that's good.
Me: But there's a problem.
Hubs: What's the problem?
Me: Remember when I said that Thad was probably eating our chocolates?
Hubs: Yeah?
Me: Remember when I said that Thad was probably eating our chocolates?
Hubs: Yeah?
Me: He was. There's one missing. I took a picture:
Hubs: Let me guess, the missing one was chocolate raspberry.
Damn, that man knows me.
I still order a lot of our weekly basic groceries for pick-up. It's a lot easier and cuts way back on how much we need to go in and purchase ourselves. I place the order, Hubs picks it up.
We recently got an email saying that they were going to greatly complicate the pick up procedure. Hubs would have to download the app, click on this that and the other thing, go to the store, check in, click on a few other things, get a barcode, and show it before he could get the groceries.
Jeez, it's canned corn, not state secrets.
But more than that, all of that is far above Hubs' pay grade tech ability.
Hubs (to me as I'm getting the store app onto his phone for him): Can't I just do the hokey pokey and turn myself around?
Me: You could try . . .
Oatmeal Cookie Cream Cheese Bars
Older Son walked in the door. I hadn't been expecting him, not that it matters, but he usually lets me know his plans. He'd stopped at a grocery store up the street to grab a couple of frozen items but couldn't. Apparently one of the freezers in the store had caught fire and they had to throw a lot of the inventory away.
Hubs wasn't home at the time, so when he got home I told him that Older Son was at the store but couldn't get what he'd stopped for because a freezer caught fire.
Hubs: Wow, I'm surprised they didn't evacuate.
Me (looking at him like he's nuts): Of course they evacuated. What do you think they did, tell the customers to keep right on shopping but stay away from anything scorched.
Hubs: Well . . .
Me: Or maybe they told the customers the store had saved them a step by pre-scorching the food. Or . . .
Hubs: Ok, that's enough.
Me: But I've got more . . .
Not only did we get candy from his company, but his colleagues gifted him bags of chocolates for his birthday. We were overflowing with candy.
I was in the office, sitting in the recliner reading, a water bottle and the wrapper from a mini Dove chocolate I'd eaten earlier sitting on the table next to me.
It was time to go start dinner and, as usual, I really wanted to just keep reading.
Hubs comes home an hour later and finds me in the office, reading:
Hubs: What's for dinner? I usually smell it when I first walk in, but not today.
Hubs: What's for dinner? I usually smell it when I first walk in, but not today.
Me: Nothing.
Hubs: Nothing?
Me: It's not my fault, Dove made me do it.
Me: It's not my fault, Dove made me do it.
Hubs: The soap?
Me (handing him the candy wrapper): No, the candy.
I had bought some Greek yogurt for a recipe, decided not to make that recipe and forgot about the yogurt in the fridge.
Saw it the other day and decided to just eat it. First I needed to check the date on it.
It may as well have said this:
Kinda like the yogurt version of Russian roulette.
Speaking of questionable food, this has to be the epitome of irony.
It was about 9:00 pm, College Boy was hungry so he went to cook some frozen wings he had in the freezer. He'd thought he'd bought precooked wings, but they were raw. He doesn't cook at all, so I told him exactly what he had to do to make them. He'd have to defrost them, marinate or rub them for flavor, then cook them for about an hour, as well as making sure to wash his hands really well any time he touched them. He tends to take shortcuts so I made it very clear that he had to cook them correctly or he'd end up with food poisoning.
It was late, but he also didn't want to take any chances, so he gave the wings to me to do something with tomorrow, and order Wing Stop delivery.
I was relieved, to tell you the truth.
Until about 2:00 am, when, for over an hour, he was puking his guts out.
Yup, food poisoning. Not from cooking the raw wings he bought, but from Wing Stop delivery.
And that, my friends, is irony.
Every now and then I go through the pics on my cell and delete anything I don't want to keep. I found a pic that I took a few months ago, then forgot about.
I was scrolling through the TV, trying to figure out what I wanted to watch. As I was passing through a cable news channel, I saw something that at first confused me, then made me laugh. I grabbed my cell and quickly took a pic before the graphic was gone from the screen.
The confusion was as to whether they left the "w" off of the second word. Or the dash between the first and second words. Were they saying "a whole" or "a-hole?"
And the laugh was because I know which one I think it is.
Now click on the links below and see what my friends have to share:
Oatmeal Cookie Cream Cheese Bars
©www.BakingInATornado.com
Ingredients:
1 1/2 sticks butter, softened
1 1/4 cups sugar
1 egg
3/4 tsp vanilla
1 cup flour
3/4 cup baking soda
3 TBSP cup baking cocoa
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/4 cups quick oats
1/4 cup chocolate chips
1/4 cup white chocolate chips
12 oz cream cheese, softened
1 container (about 5 oz) vanilla Greek yogurt
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
Directions:
*Cream the butter and sugar. Beat in 1 egg and 3/4 tsp of vanilla. Starting on low until incorporated, beat in the flour, baking soda, baking cocoa and salt.
*Mix in the quick oats, chocolate chips, and white chocolate chips. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 1/2 hour.
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 9 X 13 baking pan. Press about 2/3 of the cookie dough into the bottom and partially up the sides of the pan. Bake for 12 minutes.
*While the crust is baking, beat the remaining ingredients until smooth.
*Remove the crust from the oven. Gently press the dough down (I use the bottom of a glass), leaving about 1/2 inch edge up the side of the pan.
*Pour the cream cheese filling evenly into the crust. Use the remaing approximately 1/3 of the dough to dollop onto the top. Bake for 35 minutes, or until the center is set and the sides start to brown.
*Cool to room temperature, then run a knife along the edges and cut into 24 bars. Remove to a serving plate (if you allow the bars to completely cool, they will stick to the baking pan), and refrigerate. Once cold, cover with plastic wrap.
