Carpet, Coffee, and Kale: Fly on the Wall

  

Welcome to our monthly Fly on the Wall, a blog post written in snippets. Marcia, Diane, and I invite you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes, at our writing desks, and in our worlds. Come on in, buzz around, see what we've been up to. Bet you laugh! 

Hubs is a bit of a dinosaur. Among many other things, he's always worn a watch, and he still does. Not necessary since his cell phone . . . you know . . . will tell him the time, but whatever.

I've also mentioned that he tends to think very differently than I do, so a lot of what he says, opposite of how I'd think through whatever the circumstance may be, doesn't surprise me. Until yesterday:

Hubs: I need to buy a new watch for my battery.

Me: That's an interesting way of remedying the situation. Not exactly frugal, but if it makes you happy . . .

Two things I've mentioned before: first is that I often share here the (mostly) funny things I text due to either my cell phone's text correction (I need to figure out how to turn that off), or, well, operator error. My history dictates I should check texts before I send them, but I'm usually in a rush.

Second is that PurDude and I text every day, we have since he moved to Boulder. He checks in, I tell him a few things that are going on around here, he usually gives me a one-word answer, then ends with "love you ma." I either say "love and miss you," or "love you, honey."

Yesterday, the conversation ended a little differently.

PurDude: Love you, ma.

Me: Love you, horny.

Ah, yeah, I'm not too embarrassed.

One of the few things I dislike about my house is the carpet. The wood floors I love, but the carpet is not what I’d choose. Most of it is white, which doesn’t work well with young kids, as we’d had when we moved in. But the carpet in the den is the worst.

I had really thought I’d end up replacing it, but something else always seemed to come up. Like completely furnishing the place, since I sold my last house furnished at the request of the buyer, and you know, kids . . . college . . . life . . . 

I bought a beautiful, large, Persian hand-made rug, so some of the carpet is covered, but the rest is a constant frustration. It’s textured. And speckled. I’ll be walking to another room and think I see a bug, or a bit of food, or part of a leaf from outdoors. I stop, bend down to look and no, a dark carpet speckle.

I was pointing it out to a new neighbor, and it turns out she’d sold carpet in the past. she told me it was a fairly expensive carpet, and when she’d sold something like this, she’d always mention that people love it because the speckles of dark color are like camouflage, it hides dirt.

And I have to say, I could never sell carpet. Because I couldn’t explain as a selling point to some poor customer that you can’t tell when it’s dirty, because it always looks dirty. 

Not with a straight face, anyway.

FB is often suggesting people I should friend or groups I should join. They're often pretty arbitrary, leaving me wondering where they come up with these recommendations.

This morning, they took me by surprise. Their recommendation was for a group I should join called Wacky Widows.

And although I bet it's a fun and supportive group, I wonder whose job it will be to tell my husband . . .

We were watching a Celtics game when, at half time, they cut to the studio. One host was wishing another a happy birthday. The desk was covered with Kale, a birthday present.

Me: Don't ever get me Kale for my birthday.

Hubs: OK.

Me: Will you remember?

Hubs: Yes, since I don't know what it is.

Me: But you could bake me a loaf of Clementine Blueberry Bread.

Hubs: You've got a better chance of getting a bunch of Kale.

Clementine Blueberry Bread

Hubs had some errands to do and decided to take my car as I needed gas and he could stop on the way home. About an hour later, I hear screeching sounds coming from the garage. I go out the door and see my car sitting in the garage, alarm going off, all the lights flashing, and Hubs sitting in the driver's seat looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

Me (yelling over the noise): What are you doing?

Hubs: Trying to shut this off.

Me: How did you turn it on?
Hubs: I don't know.

He reaches for the Audi owner's manual, I head in to check out YouTube. After a few minutes, I hear it shut off.

Me: How did you do that?

Hubs: I don't know, it just stopped.

Hubs needs a new car, and I'm thinking maybe we should trade his in for a tricycle. 

 

Tuesday evening I noticed that the laundry chute was getting pretty full, so I guess laundry was on the agenda for the next morning. I decided to collect and do all of the towels too.

Me: I'm doing laundry tomorrow, I'll do a load of towels as well.

Hubs: Should I send my towels down in the morning after I shower?
Me: It doesn't matter, I can get them when I go up to shower.

Hubs: That will work. There's like a 50/50 chance I'll remember anyway.

Me (rolling my eyes): More like a 20% chance.

Hubs: Are you insulting me?
Me: No, but it doesn't matter.

Hubs: It doesn't matter if you insult me?
Me: No, after all, there's like a 20% chance you'll remember it tomorrow . . .

I still have a coffeemaker, don't use those single cup makers because that's just not how I drink my coffee. I set up the coffee maker the night before and put out mugs for Hubs and I.

I don't drink an entire mug of coffee at a time, I pour myself a cup and sit down on the couch to play my word games. As the coffee starts to cool down, or as I drink it most of the way down, I just go fill it the rest of the way up.

Hubs goes into the office, usually twice a week. On those days I put out a travel mug for him. But he will sometimes forget to fill and take it. So, I decided to remind him.

That morning, I reminded him and that night he came in, handed me the mail and his mug, and turned to go change his clothes. The mug, though, didn't feel empty. I go to the sink and pour out an entire mug of coffee. Hubs sees me at the sink with a perplexed look on my face.

Hubs: It's your fault.

Me: What is?

Hubs: The full mug of coffee.

Me: How is that my fault.

Hubs: You reminded me to take it in the car with me.

Me: Yeah, and . . .

Hubs: You didn't remind me to take it out of the car and into work with me.

And this, my friends, is proof positive that the brain does not function properly before coffee.

Who are you, really?

It's difficult having the name Karen lately, I'm guessing you can figure out why.

When people use the name as an insult, I mostly ignore it. But when a social media post is specifically from someone touting how kind and compassionate and pro this and that they are, that just ticks too many of my boxes. 

This recently happened on threads, a post about how humanitarian, caring, empathetic and the opposite of Karen's (yes, they used an apostrophe for a plural, so clearly a brain surgeon) this person claims to be. I responded that using a name that many good people share as an insult is not caring and empathetic, it's bullying.

And wow, did I get bashed. People responded telling me to stfu, that I should go cry somewhere else, that I'm the reason the name Karen is used that way . . .

So, if this is humanitarian, caring, empathetic, and compassionate, I wonder what cruel and hateful looks like to these people (all of whom I blocked, of course).

Maybe I should share this with them:

And who I am. Really.

Hubs had some work he needed to get done, and as well as a few things I'd put on his list that needed done around the house.

I had a load of laundry to do, dishwasher to run, dinner to prep, and grocery list to finish. 

We both got our lists completed and were finally settling down to watch TV, this night there was another Celtics game on and we were looking forward to watching.

But 2 minutes in, and there was a problem.

Me: I'm not going to be able to watch this game.

Hubs: What? We've been looking forward to this all day.

Me: I know.

Hubs: So what do you mean you can't watch.

Me: Did you see White?
Hubs: Yeah, I saw him, he's a starter.

Me: But did you see the back of his shirt?
Hubs: The back of his shirt? 

Me: Yes, his tag is sticking up out of the back of his shirt. And that's just going to drive me nuts.

Hubs (rolling his eyes): You're kidding, right?

Oh, how I wish I were.

 

Now click on the links below and see what my friends have to share:

Menopausal Mother 

On the Border

Clementine Blueberry Bread

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

1 TBSP sugar

1/2 tsp cinnamon

2 1/2 cups plus 1 TBSP flour, divided

1 cup sugar

1 tsp salt

1 TBSP baking powder

1 1/4 cups milk

1/2 cup oil

1/2 tsp vanilla

1/4 cup sour cream

2 eggs

1 cup blueberries

2 clementines

OPT: 5 TBSP powdered sugarn and 2 tsp orange juice

Directions:

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a loaf pan, mix 1 TBSP of the sugar with the cinnamon and dust a loaf pan with this mixture.

*Place 2 1/2 cups of the flour, the remaining sugar, salt, and baking pwder in a large bowl and whisk togethter. Add the milk, oil, vanilla, sour cream, and eggs. Mix until incorporated.

*Peel the clementines and separate into sections. Set aside 5 sections for the top, and chop the rest.

*Set aside 5 or 6 blueberries. Toss the remaining blueberries with the remaining 1 TBSP flour. Fold into the dough along with the chopped clementines.

*Spread the dough evenly into the loaf pan. Top with the reserved blueberries and clementine segments. Bake for 60 - 65 minutes, until the top springs back to the touch.

*Cool in the pan for 10 minutes. Run a knife around the edges, remove, and cool completely.

*OPT: whisk together the powdered sugar and orange juice. Drizzle over the cooled loaf.

Expand. Embrace. Empower.

  

Expand. Embrace. Empower.

If this country were to need a new watchword, and it does, this is it.

I know that we all feel that there is strength in shared experiences, outlooks, and core beliefs, in identifying with our tribe. But it is less strength, and more comfort. Comfort is necessary, of course, but it can also be limiting. Stagnating. The risk of missing out.

I wrote a post a couple of days ago called What the Immigrants Knew, if you didn't read it, I hope you will. It's a personal story about a lesson from my great grandparents. In many ways, I'm making the same point again today, but through my own, online and blogging experiences.

Shortly after I started blogging, I made my first real online, never met in person friend. We had a connection right from the start, she had a great sense of humor and was supportive of everything I wrote. 

I am skeptical by nature, and even more so online. I'm well aware that people can say they are whoever they want to online. And there are scammers everywhere, but this woman was the real deal.

So when my first friend was thinking of giving up blogging, I convinced her to continue by coming up with a writing challenge, the Secret Subject Swap, and talked a bunch of other bloggers to join in. Although it was meant to be a one time deal, it blew up. Bloggers asked to join in. At one point I had 30 bloggers participating and was running 8 different challenges.

The challenges were open to all, but when someone asked to join, I always checked them out, looked at their blog and social media.

At one point, Stephanie asked to join. Her social media was full of Christian proclamations. She was, of course, welcome to join, but clearly would never be a part of my personal inner circle.

But I got to know her, this woman who ended every sentence with two exclamation marks!! She is a kind, positive, fun, and funny friend, always up to join in on anything I came up with. I saw her strength when she finally got up the nerve to leave her abusive husband with nothing but a beat up car and her kids. 

Reyna is someone else who joined the challenges with whom I had nothing in common. It was difficult to read her posts, she was not a deep thinker, and clearly did not have a grasp of sentence structure or punctuation, something that makes me crazy.

But, I came to see, she was an empath, a warm and comfortable person, and a fiercely supportive friend. 

Some of these people, with whom I had little in common, supported me in ways and at times when I needed it the most.

I could have comfortably lived in my own "tribal" bubble but oh, how I would have missed out. Expanding my little writing world, embracing what others had to offer, taking the time to look beneath the surface, has been empowering.

There is black, there is white, and then there is all of that vibrant color in between. We should be looking for it.

I acknowledge the nurturing strength of like-mindedness and shared purpose. The truth is though, that there is an added layer of power in diversity. Growth lies in the acceptance of, the embracing of, diversity.

Tribalism is comfortable, yes, but it can also be counterproductive. Inclusion based on exclusion is a recipe for societal atrophy.

Heterogeneity, all it can bring us, and all it can teach us, provides balance. Depth of flavor.

Cream Cheese Nutella Cinnamon Rolls 

I was talking recently with Sage, someone who I got to know through my Baking In A Tornado FB page. Her children are on the autism spectrum and are gender diverse. She and her husband are currently estranged from her in-laws who are not accepting of their own grandchildren. 

Sage has had difficult times, including a challenging childhood and the loss of her twin. She deals with physical challenges and has had multiple surgeries. People are often distant with her, uncomfortable with the burdens she carries, often see her as damaged, not even willing to get to know her past what they (think they) see.

Are we really that shallow?

Yes. Yes, we are.

Shallow, closed minded enough to embrace: listless over vibrancy, constrained over dynamic, stagnation over progress, blnded over enlightened, immobility over growth.

The divisiveness of tribalism has become dangerous.

An open mind is a healthy mind. And it is only an open society that is poised for a healthy future.

Cream Cheese Nutella Cinnamon Rolls        

                                                                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1# loaf frozen bread dough

2 - 3 TBSP flour

4 oz cream cheese

2 TBSP Nutella chocolate hazelnut spread

1/4 cup brown sugar

1/2 tsp cinnamon

6 TBSP powdered sugar

1/4 tsp vanilla

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1 1/2 tsp milk

Directions:

*NOTE: to make these ahead, bake the day before, cover and refrigerate, then just warm up and frost the next day.

*Wrap the bread dough in greased plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight. Spread the flour onto the counter, unwrap the defrosted dough and place on the flour. Allow to sit for 30 minutes.

*Grease a 9 X 13 baking pan.

*In a bowl, mash together the cream cheese, Nutella, brown sugar, and 1/2 tsp of the cinnamon using the back of a spoon.

*Roll out the dough to about 20 inches in length by about 12 inches in width. Spread with the cream cheese mixture to about 1/4 of an inch of each edge. Fold the short sides in, just 1/4 of an inch.

*Using the long end, roll up to about a 20 inch long tube. Cut into 16 slices and place them, open side down, into the prepared pan. Cover with a plastic wrap and allow to rise for about 4 hours.
*Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Bake the rolls for 25 minutes. 

*Whisk together the powdered sugar, vanilla, remaining cinnamon, and the milk until smooth. Drizzle over warm rolls.

Eclipsed: Use Your Words

 

Today’s post is a monthly writing challenge. If you’re new here, this is how it works: my friend Diane and I picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases to submit to each other to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once. Both posts will be unique as we each have our own set of words we're working with.

At the end of this post, you'll find the link to Diane's post, be sure to check it out, see what words I sent her and how she used them.

 
I'm using:  natural ~ nice ~ nothing ~ noodle ~ neoprene


                          

I have absolutely no idea how this group of words made me think of the first time I bought myself a new car, but that's what popped into my head, so I'm going with it.

Before this time, from literally the day I got my license, my dad had always bought my cars, ones he picked out (and I loved, btw). But now I was out of school, working, and looking to buy a brand new car, chosen (yay) and funded (boo) by me.

I had my handy dandy little notebook of facts, whatever facts you could get in what was just before a time when Google was at everyone's fingertips. But before I ventured out to the car lots, I wanted more, a little insight into the process. I mean, we've all heard the stories about car salesmen being sharks, as we, the consumers, wade into their territorial waters.

I'm not saying their reputation is fact, definitely not. Truth is, one of my closest friends, Mark, bought, worked on, and sold used cars. And I had all the trust and respect in him that I did any other friend. He was genuinely a really nice guy.

At the time, Mark had many cars, but mostly drove a Javelin, a car he loved. It had a standard transmission, something I didn't know how to drive. Mark decided that he'd not only teach me, but on the Javelin.

I did fine until he had me stop going up a steep hill. When he told me to start again, I couldn't get the clutch/gas ratio right and the car kept rolling back while I both gave it too much gas and dragged the clutch. Deciding that nothing said I needed to know how to drive a standard anyway, I, without a word put the emergency brake on, got out of the car and walked up the hill.

Stunned, Mark drove up the hill and picked me up. We laughed all the way home (but were done with lessons, for now).

So, before I went to check out the two cars I had pared my list down to, I had Mark over to dinner. We talked about what I needed to know, what I wanted to look for, and what I should consider. And then he offered to go with me. 

Cheesy Spinach Pinwheels

We walked onto the first car lot the following Saturday, me doing exactly what I'd been told, act natural (meaning try to look less like a target and more like I'd done this before).

As the salesman walked towards us, Mark whispered in my ear. He knew who this guy was, he could sell a neoprene suit to a jailed politician. OK, that's not how Mark put it, but you get the idea. I needed to not get carried away by a smooth talker.

He needn't worry.

First, Gary did not even acknowledge me, he addressed Mark. Even when told why we were there, he continued to talk to Mark, asking what car he was interested in, if he'd like to take a test drive. 

Backbone now firmly in place, infuriated by the misogyny, I piped up and said that I was choosing between two cars, one at that dealership and the second we would be looking at elsewhere. Gary let me know that I could not compare those two cars, they were completely different, then proceeded to tell me what other makes were comparable to the one I was interested in on his lot.

I think Mark smirked when I told Gary that I could choose between any two cars I wanted.

In the end, Gary was actually helpful in making my decision, I wasn't buying anything from him. 

And hopefully, when I left, Gary's reputation for being able to sell a neoprene suit to a jailed politician went to that of a guy who couldn't sell a pool noodle, to a woman who spends the weekend at her family's pool.

PS: loved my new red Mitsubishi Eclipse. Thanks, Gary.

 

Here's the link to Diane's Use Your Words posts:

On the Border

Cheesy Spinach Pinwheels

                                               ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

1 tube (8 oz) refrigerated crescent sheet

3 TBSP butter

2 tsp grated parmesan

1/2 tsp garlic powder

3/4 cup fresh, cleaned spinach

1/2 cup shredded mozzarella

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Lightly grease a 9 X 13 baking sheet.

*Unroll the crescent sheet onto a piece of parchment paper. Cover with a piece of plastic wrap and roll out to a 9 inch X 15 inch rectangle. Remove plastic wrap.

*Melt the butter and mix with the parmesan and garlic powder. With a pastry brush, brush most of the butter (leave a little for the top) onto the crescent sheet, leaving about a half inch border at the two long sides.

*Chop the spinach and sprinkle onto the crescent sheet, last add the mozzarella.

*Starting with one long side, roll the dough up to create a tube shape. Brush the top with the remaining butter, and cut into about 3/4 inch slices. Place on the baking sheet, open side down. Bake for about 15 minutes, until the dough starts to brown.  

Ban Balance Sheet

 

Inflation has hit the Constitution. What was once the Bill of Rights is now chump change. Devalued. Deliberately.

And as if that's not enough, its rights and protections have been compromised by those exact people we put in charge of safeguarding what is at the very core of our system.

We all know that the preamble to the constitution specifically states that we are all created equal, and that we all have the unalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Further, and this is critical, that our government was created with the clear mandate of protecting those rights. 

That is no longer what's happening here. Our government is now in the business of targeting segments of our society to deny their right to life (women medically unable to sustain pregnancies), limit their liberties (abortion, gender affirming care), and pursuit of happiness (allowing businesses to discriminate, limiting access to information in schools). Acting in clear opposition to their directive. Overstepped their bounds. By a lot.

Although this desecration of our rights, this dismantling of freedom, started with an orange man, and is now lead by the orange state, it's sweeping through this country like a contagion.

 Orange Quick Rolls (no yeast)

 

To better view the direction in which we've headed, to more clearly see the juxtaposition between freedom and authoritarianism, I've prepared a ban balance sheet. Some instances are federal, others are sweeping through the states:

~ Banned: teachers saying "gay."

  Not banned: politicians lying in office.

~ Banned: dressing in drag in public (ie: wearing a dress, wig, jewelry, and makeup). 

  Not banned: wearing speedos in public.

~ Banned: forgiveness of student loans.

  Not banned: companies owned by members of congress took $14 million in Covid relief funds.

~ Banned: women's reproductive rights (abortion),

 Not banned: men's reproductive "rights" (Viagra).

~ Banned: crossing state lines for an abortion.

  Not banned: shipping immigrants across state lines.

~ Banned: access to books.

  Not banned: access to guns (conceal carry).

~ Banned: affirmative action from leveling the playing field for disenfranchised minorities.

  Not banned: whitewashing slavery. 

~ Banned: offering water to citizens standing in line in the hot sun waiting to vote.

  Not banned: armed random people monitoring ballot boxes.

We're the ATM, this is all supported with our taxes. So, profit, loss, or break even, what is the return on our investment?

Supreme Court approval rating: 40%

Americans who support some further level of gun control: about 87%

Americans who support abortion: about 62%

Americans who support LGBTQ+ rights: about 80%

Let's be realistic. The goal is not an untenable nirvana. For a balanced, effective government, when it comes to legislation, we will all sometimes fall into the minority, and other times find ourselves in the majority. Negotiating towards balance is required to make a diverse nation like ours function.

But the clear majority of Americans disapproving of the self-serving choices of politicians over the best interest of our citizens diminishes all that the constitution sets out to ensure.  

Our government is no longer paying dividends, and we are not invested in our own future.

Orange Quick Rolls (no yeast)         

                                                                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 2/3 cups flour

3 tsp baking powder

1 1/4 tsp salt

1/4 tsp orange zest

1 1/3 cups orange Greek yogurt

1 TBSP orange juice

1 TBSP sesame seeds

Directions:

*Cover the bottom of a baking pan with parchment paper. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

*Whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt. Flour a kneading surface with 1/3 cup of this mixture.

*Whisk the orange zest into the remaining flour, then mix in the yogurt. Turn out onto the floured kneading surface and knead for 5 minutes. It will come together as a dough, but will be sticky.

*Divide the dough into quarters, then each quarter in half. Roll into balls and place in the baking pan.

*Brush the tops of the rolls with the orange juice, and sprinkle with the sesame seeds.

*Bake for 25 minutes. Serve warm.