Bananas for You: Funny Friday

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

 Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by Me! 

1. Woman to her boyfriend: Have you looked in the mirror since breakfast?
Boyfriend: No, why?
Woman: Remember I told you that if you kept eating so many bananas you'd turn in to one . . .

2. BananaMan to his girlfriend: I'm bananas for you.
Girlfriend: I think you're just bananas.

3.BananaMan to his girlfriend: Honey, you a-PEEL to me.
Girlfriend: I know you're a banana but you sure are cheesy.

4. BananaMan to his girlfriend: You are the apple of my eye.
Girlfriend: Orange you confusing your fruit?

5. BananaMan to his girlfriend: I think we should be exclusive, if you were to date anyone else I'd turn green with envy.
Girlfriend: You? Turn green? How Benjamin Button of you.



 And now for something yummy. What, you were expecting something banana? 

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookie Squares

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:

Southern Belle Charm
The Bergham Chronicles
Cognitive Script 
Bookworm in the Kitchen

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookie Squares

   ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
14 chocolate graham crackers
3/4 stick butter, softened
12 peanut butter sandwich cookies
1 3/4 cups heavy whipping cream
5 TBSP confectioner's sugar
1 can evaporated milk 
1/3 cup Nutella
1 box (about 3.4 oz) instant dark chocolate pudding mix

Directions:
*Grease a 9 X 13 pan.
*Crush the chocolate graham crackers in a food processor to make crumbs. Add the butter and process until smooth. Press firmly into the bottom of the pan. Refrigerate.
 *Chop the peanut butter cookies to small chunks (not crumbs). Set aside.
*Beat the heavy cream until soft peaks form. Add the confectioner's sugar and beat until stiff peaks hold. Set aside about 1/4 cup for garnish.
*Whisk together the evaporated milk, Nutella, and chocolate pudding mix until smooth. Fold in the whipped cream and cookie pieces. Pour into prepared crust. Refrigerate for 2 hours. 
*Serve with reserved whipped cream.

Found My Day

I know all the talk among the cool kids is about finding your tribe. Don't know that I've done that so successfully, but I will tell you this: I have found something better. I have found my day!

It happened quite innocently in a private Facebook group. My monthly poetry group was looking to choose a theme for our upcoming April poetry posts. We will sometimes choose a theme commonly associated with the month, but other times we step a little bit out of the box. As we will sometimes do, we googled April celebrations. What comes up is not just the well-known holidays, but a whole lot of fun and little known celebrations. For instance, later in the month, it seems that my anniversary is also Lima Bean Respect Day. Who knew? And even more important, who needed to know?

But the day that spoke to me, the celebration I'm totally getting behind happens on April 12th. Yes, it has somehow escaped me for all these years, but apparently April 12th is Blame Someone Else Day. And either because I've not celebrated before and am owed so many years worth of April 12th Blame Someone Else Days or just because I'm the kind of person who doesn't wait until the last minute (whichever rationalization works for you), I'm not waiting another 2 weeks. I'm starting right now.

Dinner's not ready? I blame you.

Chicken Enchilada Pot Pie

Truth is, Blame Someone Else Day is less a new concept and more a revisited time. After all, I am still traumatized by can still remember all those years of trying to raise the boys. Seems like every day I'd end up looking a kid whose face was covered in chocolate telling me his brother ate all the cookies. Or asked (or maybe screamed) who didn't replace the toilet paper just to be told it must have been me. And lets not forget the bad grade that was the teacher's fault. Yeah, those little ones, they've got the whole Blame Someone Else Day down pat.

Trump clearly believes in this particular holiday too. When it comes to blaming others, he could write the book. If there's one thing I learned in the past year, it's that Hillary, Obama, the press and Mexico are to blame for pretty much anything and everything. Trump and I may not agree on much, but one thing we do have in common is that neither of us see the value in setting aside only one day for the practice of this particular holiday.

And speaking of not waiting, gotta run, I have a very busy schedule planned. You know, places to go, people to blame . . . 

Chicken Enchilada Pot Pie

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
4 large (10 inch) tortillas
3 TBSP butter, melted
1 TBSP taco seasoning
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup salsa
1 cup refried beans
8 oz cooked chopped chicken
2 green onion, chopped
1/2 seeded, chopped jalapeno pepper
1 1/4 cups sharp cheddar cheese, divided

OPT: serve with your choice of additional sour cream, cheese, guacamole and/or additional salsa

Directions:
*Grease a 10 inch pie plate. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
*Line the dish with 3 of the tortillas so they are overlapping by about 1/2 inch on the bottom and hanging up over the sides.
*Mix the melted butter with the taco seasoning. Pat about 1/3 of this mixture onto the tortillas with a pastry brush.
*Mix the sour cream, salsa, and refried beans well. Mix in the chicken, green onion, jalapenos and 1 cup of the cheddar cheese. Pour evenly into the prepared dish.
*Pat about another 1/3 of the butter onto the remaining tortilla. Fold the overhanging tops of the tortillas in the dish in towards the center and place the buttered tortilla, butter side down, over the top. Pat with remaining butter.
*Bake for 30 minutes, sprinkle with the remaining 1/4 cup sharp cheddar, bake another 5 minutes and remove from oven. Allow to sit 5 minutes, slice and serve with your choice of toppings.

Gandhi does Graffiti: Fly on the Wall

Welcome to a monthly Fly on the Wall group post. Today 6 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house. At the end of my post you’ll find links to this month’s other participants’ posts.

Hubs (to me at the dinner table): I had to make the coffee this morning.
Me: Really, I could have sworn I had the coffee and water in there and the timer set for you like I do every morning.
Hubs: Oh, the coffee and water were in there.
Me: I must have forgotten to set the timer.
Hubs: Yeah, I guess so.
Me: So . . . by "I had to make the coffee" what you really mean is that you had to press the "start" button.
{{College Boy starts to laugh}}
Hubs: Well, when you put it that way . . .

Spaghetti and my Hearty Meat Sauce is College Boy's favorite dinner. I always make way more spaghetti than we can eat so College Boy can have leftovers. I had made some and there was a bowl of it in the fridge for him.

College Boy: I better eat that spaghetti tomorrow, it's been in the fridge a few days already.
Me: Yeah, I'm shocked, it usually doesn't last that long with you around.
College Boy: Well, I was saving it to have for dinner on a night when you make something I don't like, but you haven't screwed up lately.

I was looking through the online TV guide discussing what was on. Hubs was looking at his laptop but listening to the options.

Me: A movie called Graffiti. What could that be about?
Hubs: See what the description says.
Me (squinting): Something about inspiring world peace. Really? Graffiti inspires world peace?
Hubs (looking up at the TV): put on your glasses.
Me (putting on my glasses): OK.
Hubs: What's the name of the movie?
Me: Oh, Gandhi.

  We went on vacation recently. College Boy and I flew out to my Mom's winter home on Marco Island and PurDude met us there. When we got off the plane, had our luggage and were waiting for PurDude to get his luggage, I was lucky enough to be treated to this little tidbit of information:

College Boy: Mom, what's for dinner? And the only wrong answer is that you're cooking something.

Remind me why I bring him along on my vacation again . . .


And BTW, we went out. Grouper Fingers and French Fries were for dinner.

Two days before I left, my cell phone died. Hubs will be taking time off in May to go to PurDude's graduation so he was staying home to work. He didn't want me to travel without a cell so he ran out and got me a new one. Now I have a new phone, but getting to know each other takes time.

The first night I was gone, Hubs called. When I answered he wasn't there so I called him back.

Me: Hello.
Hubs: You hung up on me.
Me: Good.
Hubs: Good?
Me: Well that means I actually answered the call.
Hubs: Now you just have to figure out how to have a conversation once you do.
Me: Baby steps . . .

Creamy Chicken Dinner Casserole

The first few days were cooler than normal, so on day one we decided to go to the pool instead of the beach since its so much windier on the beach.

We found chairs, sat down and I told the boys to take a look at the rules. Not a big deal, no glass allowed, that kind of thing. 

PurDude (while reading): No! Well that's disappointing.
Me: What?
PurDude: There's no drinking the pool water . . .

We were laying there soaking in the rays when I barely noticed that two older women were in the  pool doing water exercises. I'm not sure if it was a private lesson, physical therapy or what but clearly one of the women was in charge, choosing each exercise and doing a count as they did them.

At some point I started to listen. They had just begun a new exercise and the woman in charge was counting out " 16, 25, 40, 98".

So either this trainer was so old she'd forgotten how to count, or she actually wasn't doing exercise but playing some kind of water bingo.

 

That evening, Mom found me on her deck holding a pair of little kids' nylon shorts and calling out "Coach".

Mom: What are you doing?
Me: It's windy out.
Mom: I know, so what's with the "coach".
Me (showing her the kids' shorts): I came outside and saw that these had blown onto the deck. I figure if the gods are sending us merchandise, I may as well let them know I'd like a Coach Purse.

 

Mom pulls out a flashlight and asks if anyone knows how to use it, she can't figure out how to turn it on and can't find anyplace to put in batteries.

College Boy: I think it's one of those crank flashlights.
Mom: What?
PurDude (taking the flashlight from her, raising the handle at the top and turning it): See, you crank it.
Mom: Oh. Do you want it?
PurDude (laughing): No, I think the regular flashlights are a lot easier to use.
Mom: If you guys don't want it, I'm going to throw it out. By the time I got that thing cranked it would be daylight.

We were on our way out to dinner when I just happened to look at the license plate of the car in the left lane just ahead of us.

Me: OMG, look at that license plate.
College Boy: What?
Me: Read their plate. It says "Divorce". Who the hell would pay for their license plate to say divorce?
Mom: Read it again.
Me (looking closer as the car pulls in front of us): Oh, Dorice. OK, never mind.

Now click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:

Menopausal Mother 
Never Ever Give Up Hope 
Bookworm in the Kitchen
Spatulas on Parade
 The Bergham Chronicles

Creamy Chicken Dinner Casserole         

                                    ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
3 boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite sized pieces
1/2 packet (2 TBSP) dry ranch dressing mix
3 TBSP vegetable oil
1 1/4 cup uncooked long grain rice
4 oz mushrooms, sliced
1 1/2 cups cooked chopped broccoli
2 green onions, sliced
3 cups chicken broth
3/4 cups french onion dip
1/2 cup shredded provolone cheese
1/2 cup chopped pecans
1/4 cup bacon bits
1 tsp paprika



OPT: Serve over buttermilk biscuits
 
Directions:
*Place the chicken in a sealable plastic bag. Mix the dry ranch mix with the vegetable oil. Pour over the chicken, manipulate so all of the chicken is coated and refrigerate for 2 to 4 hours.
*Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease a 9 X 13 baking dish.
*Sprinkle the rice over the bottom of the pan. Top with the mushrooms, broccoli, then chicken and top with green onions.
*Mix together the chicken broth and french onion dip. Pour over the chicken. Cover with tin foil and cook for 45 minutes.
*Carefully remove the tin foil. Sprinkle the provolone, pecans, bacon bits and paprika over the chicken. Bake, uncovered, another 15 minutes.
*Serve over buttermilk biscuits if desired.

Wishes aren't Fishes but Hope is Dope

I suppose if this becomes my thousandth "poor me what the hell is with this dark cloud I'm living under" post, I'll lose even my diehard readers. So no, I'm not going there. St. Patrick's Day has (hopefully) brought me luck, and I've been walking the beach each morning for over a week now and am feeling so much more zen.

As I prepare to kiss my mom and my son goodbye and head back to the land of what-could-possibly-break-next?, I'm wishing this sunshine and tranquility will follow me home. 

Maybe I'm a bit jaded, but what keeps going through my head over and over again on a loop is that old idiom "if wishes were fishes we'd all swim in riches". I know what it means, that we (OK, I) need to stop spending time and energy wishing and go out and make something happen. But, since we're on the subject, I just want to say that if you're looking for a deterrent to just sitting there and wishing, the consequence of swimming in riches is just not the way to go.

I digress.

Far be it for me to claim to know more than long established idioms (not so far, turns out), but if you're looking for new sayings, seek and ye shall find. Brand new future idioms by yours truly:

If goals were poles, we'd all dance in fish bowls.

If hope was "dope", I'd be the Pope (OK, maybe not).

If dreams were schemes, I'd have my own regimes.

If wishes were britches, there'd be no fashion hitches.

but

If wishes were delicious, I'd not fit in my britches.

Shrimp Tortellini Casserole

If wants were bouffants we'd all be debutantes.

If crave was a rave, none of us would behave.

If expectations were temptations, we'd be having . . . relations.

If desire was fire, well, that could be dire.

If fancy were chancy there'd be no more schmancy.

If wants were jaunts, you'd be one of my haunts.


If wishes were glitches . . . well, that would explain a lot of what had been going on in my home, now wouldn't it?

But honey, if wishes were witches? Pass the broom, bitches.

Heading home on Thursday. Wish me luck.

Shrimp Tortellini Casserole         
                                    ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 package (12 oz) dried cheese tortellini
3/4 cup marinara sauce (my Homemade Marinara recipe HERE)
1 cup fresh spinach
3 slices cooked chopped bacon
1 TBSP olive oil
1 TBSP butter
1 tsp minced garlic
1# large or extra large raw shrimp, peeled and deveined
2 TBSP grated parmesan cheese
1/3 cup shredded mozarella cheese

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 8 X 11 baking dish
*Cook the tortellini according to package directions. Drain, rinse in cold water to stop the cooking process, drain again and mix with the marinara sauce, spinach and most of the bacon (reserve a little for the top). 
*Pour the tortellini evenly into the prepared baking dish.
*Heat the olive oil and butter in a large saute pan over medium heat until hot. Add the shrimp in a single layer and cook for 2 minutes. Turn the shrimp over and cook until it is pink and completely cooked. 
*Arrange the shrimp over the pasta. Pour all the liquid in the saute pan over the top. Sprinkle with the parmesan, mozarella and reserved bacon.
*Bake for 30 minutes.

Rebuild and Recharge: Use Your Words

Today’s post is a monthly writing challenge. If you’re new here, this is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once. All of the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the recipient will take them. Until now.

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.
I'm using: stomping ~ music ~ screaming ~ brown leaves ~ green grass. They were submitted by Dawn of Cognitive Script.

                          
The brown leaves gave way to bare trees and, like it does every year, winter arrived. Shaking my fists and stomping my feet (and that's even before they were snow covered) I railed against the cold and the ice and the snow, but still, as I knew it would, it came.

Today, for the fourth glorious day in a row, I'll walk past the beautiful, vibrant emerald green grass, over the bridge and onto the beach. Waves lapping is music to my ears I'll walk barefoot with my tootsies in the gulf, eyes peeled for some of my favorite shells: conch, spiral, and of course the elusive sand dollars. I'll feel the sun on my sunscreen covered shoulders and sigh, as I always do as I head towards Tigertail beach, or the other direction, towards the Marriott.

My mindset switches to content here, my soul is nourished. The sun, the beach, the salt air, it all does that. I'll be back here this afternoon with my boys and a beach chair but for now I just walk. And breathe. Grateful that the island is still here. Battered and bruised but here.

picture taken by cousin Mira Dee

In September Hurricane Irma hit this beautiful little island head on. Smacked it silly. Streets were flooded, homes and businesses destroyed. Never in my life have I seen a bare naked palm tree and I hope to never again.

picture taken by cousin Mira Dee

She will carry her scars, but the beauty of this island will live on, and for that I am eternally grateful. Because, it turns out, I need her. I realize that every time I return and walk this beach. Just as this island is making her way back to her best self, she lifts me up to my best self.

Tonight after a dinner of fresh fish, we'll sit on the deck with a cocktail (Pina Colada for me, thanks), my mom and my sons and I, and watch the big red glorious sun slowly sink into the Gulf. If we're lucky, a pod of dolphins will show themselves just before dusk takes one more day of heaven on earth away.

Pina Colada Popcorn

In 6 short, way too short, days I will say "good-bye" to my mom and to my younger son, to this glorious island, and get on a plane and head back to the land of the coats and gloves and scarves. And although I know I must go, chances are College Boy will have to drag me onto that airplane, kicking and screaming.

Here are links to all the other Use Your Words posts:

Bookworm in the Kitchen 
On the Border
Cognitive Script
 The Bergham Chronicles
Southern Belle Charm
The Blogging 911
Part-Time Working Hockey Mom   
Climaxed

Pina Colada Popcorn

                                               ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

1/2 cup sweetened coconut flakes
3 TBSP salted butter
1 tsp of rum extract
2 tsp grenadine syrup
1/2 cup chopped dried pineapple
about 12 cups Kettle Corn (sweet popcorn)

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spread the coconut flakes on a baking sheet. Place in the oven and bake until it just barely start to brown, about 5 minutes. Remove immediately and set aside to cool.
*Melt the butter in a microwave safe bowl. Stir in the rum extract and the grenadine.
*Place the popcorn in a large bowl. Drizzle half of the butter mixture over the popcorn, mix well, add the rest of the butter, mix well. Last, mix in the toasted coconut and dried pineapple.

March Madness: March Poetry

Once again this month our poetry group got together to pick a theme. I have to admit that I was surprised when we chose March Madness. The truth is, though, that although sports come to mind, turns out there's so much more madness that happens in the month of March than college sports. 

I'm currently going through withdrawal. Oh how I miss the Olympics, I think I watched every minute of it. I'm not a sports fan, I'm a team fan, if my team's not playing I'm not interested. Except during the Olympics. Watching these young athletes chase their dreams, and win or lose showing character is uplifting. I'm hoping to see the same level of sportsmanship this month. 

But as I said, there's more to March than basketball. Here's my take on the theme:

March Madness

What is this madness I hear?
Lose an hour of sleep, I do fear.
But the first day of spring,
that can sure make me sing.
It's a day that I truly hold dear. 

Put away that damn blower of snow,
the lawnmower not yet needs to go.
But dust off that grill,
sip Berry Sangria and chill.
Good-bye winter, my erstwhile foe.
 
And vacation, let's not forget that,
On the beach with my book and a hat.
The boys by my side,
and Mom to confide,
My idea of pure bliss, yeah, true dat.

St. Patrick's Day, a day of luck,
chasing rainbows for a buck,
Irish whiskey and green beer,
traditions I personally hold dear,
A day that's always been epoch.

"March Madness" brings one thing to mind,
no, not allergies though I'm resigned.
A court and a ball, 
dribbling, shooting and all,
brackets done and the seeds are assigned.

Not a sports fan, then it's true,
this March Madness thing's just not for you.
But we'll watch frozen in one place,
we got a horse in this here race,
Hammer down, Boiler Up! Go, Purdue!

Be sure your family settles in for a day of basketball watching with a full stomach. Start your day with these Breakfast Nachos:

Breakfast Nachos

Before you go, click on these links to more poetry by some of my friends: 

Dawn of Cognitive Script shares Mad as a Hatter. 
Jules of The Bergham Chronicles shares Mad, Mad World. 
Diane of On the Border shares Mad March.

Breakfast Nachos

                                                                          ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1/2 of a 24oz bag frozen waffle fries
1 cup chopped Canadian Bacon
1 packet dried Hollandaise mix along with the butter and milk specified on the packet directions
2 TBSP butter
4 eggs 
1/3 cup milk
salt and pepper to taste
1 green onion, sliced
1 cup spinach
1/4 cup shredded cheddar

Directions:
*Cook the waffle fries according to package directions.
*Wrap the Canadian Bacon in tin foil and place in a warm oven. You want to warm it, not cook it.
*Prepare the Hollandaise according to package directions.
*Whisk the eggs, milk, salt and pepper. Heat the butter in a saute pan and add the eggs and green onion. Scramble until completely cooked.
*Place the waffle fries on a serving dish. Top with the Canadian Bacon, then scrambled eggs, then the spinach and cheddar. 
*Drizzle Hollandaise over the top and serve.