All upcoming holidays are canceled. For the foreseeable future. Yes, it pains me to say that.
And it's because of the food. Which hurts even more.
It all started with Thanksgiving. It was a traumatic experience fraught with illness, freezing cold, unexpected babysitting duties, and an almost dirty house.
And although it all worked out in the end, that entire week was . . . a lot.
Then right around the corner came Christmas. Let me tell you about Christmas.
Why now? As an explanation of sorts, or a justification maybe, of that whole holiday cancellation thing.
As I explained in my Thanksgiving post, I'm a planner. The groceries are purchased and the tasks, what I need to defrost and when, which recipes I can make in advance, what time to take the turkey out, and what time it needs to be in the oven, all scheduled on my calendar to ensure optimal family time on the day of the holiday.
The problems started with the stuffing. I use a hot sausage in mind, and couldn't find any in the stores. I thought chorizo would be a great substitute and went with that. But 3 days before, when I went to cook the chorizo as I would the sausage, it wasn't cooking, but melting and burning. I googled and found that it comes precooked. So I just mixed it in with the rest of the stuffing ingredients.
The cleaners were scheduled that day. Since we had heat in the house, they actually did come on schedule this month, and I babysat no one.
But for the next few days, that stuffing was bothering me. It was niggling at my brain. I know what cooked sausage looks like, and that was not it. At 11 pm, on Christmas eve, after checking the description of the chorizo I bought on the website of the store I'd bought it in, and confirming it was uncooked, I was up throwing all of the stuffing in the trash.
The next morning, I frantically cobbled together a stuffing based on some leftovers I had from Thanksgiving and whatever ingredients I had on hand.
It was late morning when I realized that I usually have the turkey in the oven by now. I checked my calendar and noticed I'd planned on a 2 hour cooking time. For an 18 pound bird. Yikes.
I yanked the turkey out of the fridge, cleaned, stuffed, and slathered it, stuck it in a disposable tin roaster, stuck that in another roaster, just to be safe, folded the wing tips under so they wouldnt burn, and threw it in the upper oven. Second disaster averted. Phew.
Heading to the last hour before dinner, just before I was going to preheat the lower oven for the vegetable casseroles, I checked the turkey and decided to unfold the wings so the skin could brown. I pulled the oven shelf out as far as I dared, and grabbed my tongs. Reaching for the first wing, I somehow (talented, I guess) pierced not one, but both of the roasters. Grease gushed from the roasters onto the oven door, poured down into the second oven and the drawer below that, splattered all over the kitchen floor, up the side of the refrigerator and the kitchen island.
Did I mention my house had just been cleaned 3 days before?
Anyway . . .
screaming for Hubs, I grabbed another roaster, put the turkey and first 2 roasters into that, moved the turkey to the counter and shut off the oven.
Hubs and I cleaned up as best we could, and I got the turkey back in the oven.
Anyone know how long you cook a turkey after it's been in the oven for 2 hours and then on the counter for 20 minutes? Me neither.
I went to the table, picked up my much needed glass of wine, and spilled it all over my travertine table. Note to self: when shaking that badly, wine is best consumed via IV.
Dinner was eventually served. As an added bonus, no matter what I tried, we did end up with a fun slip and slide across the kitchen floor. And no one broke a hip.
Oh, and the Pepper Jelly Knots were delish . . .
Pepper Jelly Knots
But here's the thing. Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Followed by St. Patrick's Day. Both holidays that are always marked with special foods.
But this year, I think I'm gonna have to take a pass. Yes, as I said, it pains me to say it, but we all know that bad luck comes in threes.
And I barely made it past bad luck holidays one and two. I'd like to keep my family healthy, my house standing, and my mental health on this side of a rubber room.
So, I think it's in everyone's best interest if, for now, I just put down the oven mitts, and slowly back away . . .
Pepper Jelly Knots
©www.BakingInATornado.com
3 oz cream cheese, room temperature
3 TBSP pepper jelly
Directions:
*Whisk together the cream cheese and pepper jelly. Set aside.
*Whisk together the cream cheese and pepper jelly. Set aside.
*Cover a baking sheet with parchment paper. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
*Roll out the crescent dough on the parchment paper to about a 10 X 15 rectangle.
*Carefully spread the pepper jelly mixture onto the dough.
*Using the shorter side, fold in half so you have about a 5 X 15 rectangle.
*Cut the dough into 15 approximately 1 inch strips. Tie each strip into a loose knot and arrange the knots on the sheet so they are not touching. Bake for 15 minutes.
*Cut the dough into 15 approximately 1 inch strips. Tie each strip into a loose knot and arrange the knots on the sheet so they are not touching. Bake for 15 minutes.
