All upcoming holidays are canceled. For the foreseeable future. Yes, it pains me to say that.
And it's because of the food. Which hurts even more.
It all started with Thanksgiving. It was a traumatic experience fraught with illness, freezing cold, unexpected babysitting duties, and an almost dirty house.
And although it all worked out in the end, that entire week was . . . a lot.
Then right around the corner came Christmas. Let me tell you about Christmas.
Why now? As an explanation of sorts, or a justification maybe, of that whole holiday cancellation thing.
As I explained in my Thanksgiving post, I'm a planner. The groceries are purchased and the tasks, what I need to defrost and when, which recipes I can make in advance, what time to take the turkey out, and what time it needs to be in the oven, all scheduled on my calendar to ensure optimal family time on the day of the holiday.
The problems started with the stuffing. I use a hot sausage in mind, and couldn't find any in the stores. I thought chorizo would be a great substitute and went with that. But 3 days before, when I went to cook the chorizo as I would the sausage, it wasn't cooking, but melting and burning. I googled and found that it comes precooked. So I just mixed it in with the rest of the stuffing ingredients.
The cleaners were scheduled that day. Since we had heat in the house, they actually did come on schedule this month, and I babysat no one.
But for the next few days, that stuffing was bothering me. It was niggling at my brain. I know what cooked sausage looks like, and that was not it. At 11 pm, on Christmas eve, after checking the description of the chorizo I bought on the website of the store I'd bought it in, and confirming it was uncooked, I was up throwing all of the stuffing in the trash.
The next morning, I frantically cobbled together a stuffing based on some leftovers I had from Thanksgiving and whatever ingredients I had on hand.
It was late morning when I realized that I usually have the turkey in the oven by now. I checked my calendar and noticed I'd planned on a 2 hour cooking time. For an 18 pound bird. Yikes.
I yanked the turkey out of the fridge, cleaned, stuffed, and slathered it, stuck it in a disposable tin roaster, stuck that in another roaster, just to be safe, folded the wing tips under so they wouldnt burn, and threw it in the upper oven. Second disaster averted. Phew.
Heading to the last hour before dinner, just before I was going to preheat the lower oven for the vegetable casseroles, I checked the turkey and decided to unfold the wings so the skin could brown. I pulled the oven shelf out as far as I dared, and grabbed my tongs. Reaching for the first wing, I somehow (talented, I guess) pierced not one, but both of the roasters. Grease gushed from the roasters onto the oven door, poured down into the second oven and the drawer below that, splattered all over the kitchen floor, up the side of the refrigerator and the kitchen island.
Did I mention my house had just been cleaned 3 days before?
Anyway . . .
screaming for Hubs, I grabbed another roaster, put the turkey and first 2 roasters into that, moved the turkey to the counter and shut off the oven.
Hubs and I cleaned up as best we could, and I got the turkey back in the oven.
Anyone know how long you cook a turkey after it's been in the oven for 2 hours and then on the counter for 20 minutes? Me neither.
I went to the table, picked up my much needed glass of wine, and spilled it all over my travertine table. Note to self: when shaking that badly, wine is best consumed via IV.
Dinner was eventually served. As an added bonus, no matter what I tried, we did end up with a fun slip and slide across the kitchen floor. And no one broke a hip.
Oh, and the Pepper Jelly Knots were delish . . .
Pepper Jelly Knots
But here's the thing. Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Followed by St. Patrick's Day. Both holidays that are always marked with special foods.
But this year, I think I'm gonna have to take a pass. Yes, as I said, it pains me to say it, but we all know that bad luck comes in threes.
And I barely made it past bad luck holidays one and two. I'd like to keep my family healthy, my house standing, and my mental health on this side of a rubber room.
So, I think it's in everyone's best interest if, for now, I just put down the oven mitts, and slowly back away . . .
Pepper Jelly Knots
©www.BakingInATornado.com
3 oz cream cheese, room temperature
3 TBSP pepper jelly
Directions:
*Whisk together the cream cheese and pepper jelly. Set aside.
*Whisk together the cream cheese and pepper jelly. Set aside.
*Cover a baking sheet with parchment paper. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
*Roll out the crescent dough on the parchment paper to about a 10 X 15 rectangle.
*Carefully spread the pepper jelly mixture onto the dough.
*Using the shorter side, fold in half so you have about a 5 X 15 rectangle.
*Cut the dough into 15 approximately 1 inch strips. Tie each strip into a loose knot and arrange the knots on the sheet so they are not touching. Bake for 15 minutes.
*Cut the dough into 15 approximately 1 inch strips. Tie each strip into a loose knot and arrange the knots on the sheet so they are not touching. Bake for 15 minutes.
Oh, we are having a snow day today in SW Indiana (really ice and sleet). I need to keep cream cheese and pepper jelly on my list of "snow day shopping items" for the next time I'm stuck in the house. I have an aunt who made a shrimp dip with these items, and I never thought about baking them into rolls. Clever. These look divine! My husband will love them. He likes foods with a bit of a kick.
ReplyDeleteStay safe, and get those items onto your list. Be sure to let me know what your husband thinks.
DeleteWhat? Even an accomplished home cook like you can struggle? ;-)
ReplyDeleteI would have to say that this was WAY past struggle.
DeleteI can relate. This past Thanksgiving was the second year in a row where we very high winds which knocked out the power. About an hour into the cooking process. My grandson hooked up a generator, so I got to pick 2 things to power up. Chose oven and microwave. We played Uno by candlelight while we waited for dinner in the dark. As soon as we were done, the power came back on. Good times. Probably eating out next year.
ReplyDeleteYeah, bad luck is one thing, streaks of it is quite another.
DeleteYum! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteHope you try them!
DeleteI am glad I am the age of retirement. I supervise. My Mother was the cook and enjoyed all the hassles of the “Holiday Season”. She always succeeded. I learned early on that was not my talent. I have muddled through until time to turn it over to the next generation. They are not really interested, but carry on. When I am gone, who knows and while I care now, I won’t care then. Donna
ReplyDeleteI think spending the holidays as a supervisor sound divine.
DeleteAll I can say is (with great sympathy!), "What a memorable end to 2022!" Surely 2023 is a whole new year. With a whole new passle of...triumphs. I say start with cookies. One can never go wrong with cookies, right? ;) (P.S. I just can't get the vision of that greasy, slippery floor out of my head. My heart bleeds for you!)
ReplyDeleteI have PTSD every time I walk past my ovens.
DeleteI had a issue similar to your turkey trauma several years ago. I was taking a piece of corned beef out of the oven and dumped broth all over me, the countertop, the cabinets, and the floor. I cleaned it up, but cats (we had two back then) went to work licking up what I missed.
ReplyDeleteNote to self: need a cat.
DeleteI could encourage you to think that 2022 is done and 2023 holidays won't count against the last two disasters, but what if I'm wrong? (I also believe in those 3-in-a-row bad things. How do we get those beliefs?) How about maybe disasters come in two, not three, and so you are all done? I'm trying to find a good argument for you doing Valentine's Day.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to find a good argument too, but so far I think it's a no go.
DeleteThe worst we've had was the time one of the kitchen breakers went out and it took going to all 3 breaker boxes (at Grandma's, big house) to find the right one. Comedy of errors more than a disaster.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could make your Hubs picks up a nice dinner-to-go for Valentine's Day for the two of you to share by candlelight at home. If that passes without disaster, consider the streak broken as you've made it past a holiday with no trouble.
Excellent advice, I think I'll go with that, but I'll withhold judgement until I see how that goes.
DeleteMy husband tested positive for Covid Christmas morning and we were dis-invited for the family gathering/dinner. Since our kitchen was under construction and had no kitchen, not to mention all stores were closed....I took the kids out for Thai food. Told them to order whatever they wanted. We all agreed this was the worst Christmas ever.
ReplyDeleteOh no. Lauren, I'm sorry to hear I wasn't the only one who had a disasterous day. Hope your husband is fully recovered.
DeleteOh my goodness, I'm glad no one slipped and hurt themselves.
ReplyDeleteMe too.
DeleteOh my God, what a Thanksgiving. I'm so glad that when you pierced the roaster, that you didn't start a fire!
ReplyDeleteI think that's the only disaster that I did avoid.
Delete