That Tired: Fly on the Wall

Welcome to our monthly Fly on the Wall, a blog post written in snippets. Marcia, Diane, and I invite you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes, at our writing desks, and in our worlds. Come on in, buzz around, see what we've been up to. Bet you laugh! 

We'd had about half of the windows replaced on our house last month. It was incredibly expensive, especially since I was adamant that we go with the company most able to replace our floor to (almost) ceiling windows in the kitchen looking out to the woods with the least amount of intrusion on our view. Most companies' windows had such large frames we'd lose a lot of that view.

So, we ended up going with a more expensive option. The bill was $50,000.

This month, Hubs put in the paperwork with our power company to get a rebate they offered, per window, for those windows that meet a specific insulation threshold. All of ours did. A few days later, I got a text from Hubs:

Hubs: I forgot to tell you I submitted the rebate request online for the windows. It could take up to 60 days to get it.

Me: It won't be a credit on our bill, they'll send us a check?

Hubs: Yes, $825.

Me: That's all? I was hoping it would be for $50,000.

Hubs: Well, I can always go to the casino, put it all on black . . .

Like many people, I'm useless without my morning coffee. My brain just doesn't work.

But then after 2 weeks of cooking special meals every night including all of PurDude's favorites, Thanksgiving, College Boy's Birthday, and our Hanukkah dinner (which we celebrate while PurDude is here), along with snacks and desserts, I was tired!

I had poured myself my first cup, grabbed my morning vitamin, put the vitamin bottle away and sat down in the den to let the coffee do it's thing to my brain.

It wasn't until later in the morning, after both of my cups of coffee, when I went to put my mug in the dishwasher. And found my bottle of vitamins in there.

It was so great having the whole family together for Thanksgiving. PurDude drove in from Colorado for 2 weeks. I love that he can stay so long, but I also hate that he's so far away the rest of the year.

I am so grateful that College Boy is local, at least I have one of the boys nearby. 

Two days before Thanksgiving, College Boy flew back to NYC for a concert he wanted to see. While he's gone he sends me pics, but the first one he sent concerned me. 

Apparently NYC has weed delivery trucks. And just like that I may have none of my sons living nearby. I mean, pot delivery trucks? How am I supposed to compete with that?

As I said, tired.

Each day I post online word game results to my Baking In A Tornado FB page, and many people share their scores there too. I had been playing Nerdle, a math game one night in those 2 weeks, and had the answer figured out, I'd win the game in 4 tries, I just had to switch 2 numbers (the 2 purple squares shown in the third row, below) from my third try.

But in the 4th guess, I didn't switch the numbers, I typed in the exact same wrong answer from my 3rd guess. Yes, I was that tired.

As I said, I had tons of snacks and desserts around. Most of us have indiscriminate sweet tooths, but Hubs really doesn't like things super sweet.

He wanted to figure out what to have for dessert one night, and asked me about the options. I had Chocolate Covered Brownie Balls, Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Layer Bars, and some Cookie Butter Shortbreads.

Hubs (reaching for the cookies): Well, this seems like something I'd be able to eat.

Me: Just what every home baker wants to hear.

Cookie Butter Shortbreads

And because the cook needed even more insults:

The funny thing about PurDude coming home over Thanksgiving and my making all of his favorite meals, is that I actually make one he doesn't like. Yes, PurDude does not like turkey.

We were watching a Purdue basketball game while the turkey was doing its thing in the oven, and at half time, some of the Purdue players were asked about what their favorite Thanksgiving dishes are. One player said that at his house, they don't have turkey, they always have fillets.

PurDude: Ooh, I want to go to his house for Thanksgiving.

The exhausted cook (yeah that's me): Thanks, kid.

 

And even more tired:

We were having a drink and snacks in the afternoon. I was having a glass of wine, hubs was having a can of beer, and PurDude was having a bottle of beer. Hubs had brought the beers up from the basement fridge. I watched while he opened the bottle with his bare hands.

Me: You need a bottle opener for that, it's not a screw off top.

Hubs (shaking his hand): Well, it is now.

Me (looking at his hand): Did you break your leg?

Hubs: No, but I have a pretty deep indentation in my hand.

Break your leg? Did I say "break your leg?' Yeah, I was that exhausted.

When it comes to laptops, there's new, and then there's new new.

I needed a new laptop, it's where I do my blog writing and picture editing. I'll only get one when PurDude is here because he knows how to get the new one set up and working the way I need it to. 

On the day we were celebrating Hanukkah, he and Hubs went to the store to get a laptop for me as a surprise. They had none of the one Hubs wanted for me in stock, but they had one that had been purchased and returned, certified to be in excellent condition. Hubs bought it.

PurDude spent the next day and a half setting it all up exactly as I wanted it. It was when I went to use it that we realized it was not in excellent condition, it was defective.

It was the night before Thanksgiving, and there was exactly one of the laptops Hubs wanted for me at another store, about 1/2 hour away. They ordered it, brought it home, and PurDude worked to get the new one set up and the old one wiped so it could be returned the day after Thanksgiving.

But it got a little difficult, figuring out which one was which, making sure the correct one was updated and the correct one was wiped.

Hubs: How is the new laptop working for you?

Me: This is the new one I'm using. Do you mean the new one, or the new, new one?
Hubs: Which one are you using?

Me: I'm still using the new one. 

Hubs: Not the new, new?
Me: No, PurDude is still setting up the new, new.

And I made him check 3 times before wiping the laptop to be sure it was the new, not the new, new.

And the next day, I had Hubs check the laptop before he returned it to be sure it was the new, not the new, new.

Phew.

SO tired.

We were having pizza for dinner. Hubs and PurDude decided to have a beer with dinner. I ran down to the basement, where we have a freezer and a second fridge.

Hubs: You didn't have to go down, I would have gone.

Me: No problem.

Hubs: What took so long.

Me: I had a hard time trying to find your beer in the freezer.

Hubs (laughing): Freezer?
Me: Don't ask.

We sit down to dinner. Hubs opens the can a brought for him and started to choke.

Hubs: This isn't beer.

Me (looking at the can): Oh, looks like that's one of College Boy's energy drinks.

Hubs: I will never let you go downstairs to get me a beer again.

Me: Works for me.

Last month I talked about College Boy. He buys and sells limited edition and rare albums, most all genres, but mostly rap. He flew into NYC for 2 days to go to a pop up store a local underground rapper (one of College Boys' favorites) was having to sell his newest album and merchandise. He spent the day with the artist, talked to his wife, and had his picture taken in some of the clothing being sold.

This month, he flew back to NYC. Another favorite artist who almost never does live concerts, was doing one at Lincoln Center on the night before Thanksgiving. College Boy was comp'd a ticket, merchandise, and a quick meeting with the artist.

It was a great experience, but I was really concerned. He was flying into NYC the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and flying home out of Newark, NJ on Thanksgiving Day. Air travel is a nightmare at the best of times, but two days before Thanksgiving? He could have ended up stuck anywhere.

Flights were perfect. He was SO lucky.

Until:

Two days after he got home, an initial bill came in the mail for over $400. Someone went into the Verizon store in Newark, started an account with College Boy's name and address, and walked out with phones and an iPad at a charge of over $400 per month (X 36 months = a hell of a lot of money). 

So, a deferred nightmare.

 

Now click on the links below and see what my friends have to share:

Menopausal Mother 

On the Border

Cookie Butter Shortbreads

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

1 3/4 sticks butter, room temperature

1/2 cup speculoos (cookie butter)

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/8 tsp nutmeg

1 cup powdered sugar

2 cups flour

OPT: colored sanding sugar and/or cinnamon sugar

Directions:
*Cream the butter, cookie butter, cinnamon and nutmeg until smooth. Slowly, starting on the lowest speed until incorporated, beat in the powdered sugar. Mix in the flour.

*Divide the dough in half and roll each half into a tube about 8 inches long. Roll, individually, into plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least an hour.

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cover baking sheets with parchment paper.

*Slice the dough into about 3 1/2 dozen 1/4 inch rounds. *OPT: you can bake some or all as is, or you can press some or all of the tops of each cookie into the colored sanding sugar, or a mixture of cinnamon and sugar. 

*Arrange on the baking sheets and bake for 12 minutes.

Zig, Zag, Flee

It's not so much that I was hearing voices. I mean, that's not . . . you know . . . healthy. But, truth is, I wasn't. Healthy. Physically. 

Mentally, I was doing OK. A little depressed, a lot exhausted, but mostly OK. Well, except for the messages. 

Not auditory messages, visual. Delivered through a daily game I played. Seemingly mocking me at first, but later offering some pretty sound advice.

 

So, two things. The first one I'll give you the bare minimum in terms of information. Because I neither want to relive, nor will you want to hear all the gory details. And it was gory around here. 

Little by little, in the end of November through the middle of this month, we were sick. We being PurDude, (who was home from Boulder for 2 weeks for his brother's birthday, Thanksgiving, and Hanukkah), and then College Boy, and finally me.

PurDude's first morning here, he had respiratory symptoms. On his day 8, his brother exploded in the middle of the night, gastrointestinally. On day 11, I had respiratory distress and PurDude, still having his respiratory issues, was also exploding gastrointestinally. He went to an urgent care and they did lab work. All negative. He didn't have Covid, strep, flu, RSV . . . apparently, we were all suffering from . . . nothing.

 

Not to be deterred, I still made all the celebration meals, desserts, and snacks. So, at least I was functioning. And somehow it all got eaten. Whoever was well enough on any given day, ate whatever I'd made. Well, along with their jug of Gatorade.

Almond Cranberry Sauce Cookies

 

On day 15, with just some minor congestion, PurDude ran for his life, escaped, drove back to Boulder. Two days later, not to be left out, I joined the explosion party. And two days after that College Boy went for round two.

At the 3 week mark, everyone was pretty much better except for me, I was still coughing and congested.

Now the second thing: I play a lot of word games and post my results twice a day to my Baking In A Tornado Facebook page, where some friends there share their scores too. I wrote about it in Wordle, Nerdle, Curdle. I even wrote You Are What You Phrase, about the game Phrazle, which is the specific game choosing to mock me a few weeks ago.

I clicked on Phrazle this particular morning, PurDude was back in Colorado, College Boy was back at work but I, a week behind them, was still sick, and exhausted, and sad that our holiday celebrations were . . . how do I say this? . . . a shit fest. And although I was ready to play the game, figure out the elusive phrase of the day, I just kept saying to myself over and over again "how did this happen? How can we all be so sick with (according to the lab tests) absolutely nothing? Where did this come from?"

And there it was, the solution to the puzzle? Or a cosmic answer?

OK, that's just mean. Yeah, maybe we zigged when we should have zagged, but it's not like we had any warning. I mean, none of us are aware of having seen some big cloud of medical crud headed our way, so how could we have known to initiate evasive tactics?

Believe me, we would have. Zigged, zagged, or just flat out run for our lives.

The next day, since we clearly didn't zig, zag, or flee, Phrazle shared the only strategy left to me:

And the following day, I guess the advice was not to dwell on a ruined holiday season. Once I was better, apparently the puzzle gods recommended that I:

 

Finally, finally feeling just a little bit better, and hoping that with the illness was going the percieved subliminal messaging, I got to the Phrazle portion of my daily game routines. Hoping against hope, but afraid to look in the mirror, I wondered if I was starting to look human again. Seems Phrazle had reverted to snarky:

Oh, and btw, were you wondering about Hubs? Bet you can guess who it was who'd been tending to the boys while they were exploding. Well, let's just say this: Hubs . . . perfectly fine, from start to finish, not so much as one single wayward sneeze, dammit.

Almond Cranberry Sauce Cookies         

                                                                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients: 

2 sticks butter, softened

1 1/4 cups sugar

1/2 cup jellied cranberry sauce, room temperature

1/4 tsp almond extract

1 egg, room temperature

2 1/2 cups flour

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

3/4 cup white chocolate chips

1/4 cup sliced almonds, chopped

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cover baking sheets with parchment paper.

*Cream the butter, sugar, cranberry sauce, and almond extract until smooth. Beat in the egg.

*Starting at the lowest speed, beat in the flour, baking soda, and salt until it forms a dough. Mix in the white chocolate chips and chopped sliced almonds.

*Bake for 11 - 13 minutes, until the edges start to brown. Allow to sit on the baking sheets for 2 minutes before removing to cool completely.

Woes and Peace: Winter Poetry Monday

 

Poetry Monday's once a week.

I bet you know which day.

I don't participate every time,

But today I've come out to play.

My friends assign each week a theme,

Winter is what they chose.

Now it's up to all of us,

to put our thoughts into prose.

 

 

Woes and Peace

Winter is a time when I

need too many clothes!

Freezing, I must cover up,

from head down to my toes.

Driving's not so easy now, 

it's quite the scary deal.

Has me asking myself twice, 

before I take the wheel.

Full on storms are just the worst,

snow with sleet and ice.

Those days I stay in the house,

indulge my baking vice.

Blackberry Ginger Cookies

And those storms that never end,

our muscles pay the price,

when we need the snowblower,

to go over the driveway twice.

 

But then . . . 

Freshly fallen snow can bring, 

a calming sense of peace,

sitting by a roaring fire,

and all wrapped up in fleece.

 

 

 

Wait!

Read more poetry, 

you're not through.

Some talented writers

are in this crew:

 

On the Border

Messymimi's Meanderings 

 

Blackberry Ginger Cookies         

                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 stick butter, softened

1/2 stick margarine, softened

1 egg, room temperature

3/4 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup plus 3 TBSP sugar, divided

2 TBSP molasses

1 TBSP black raspberry sparkling water

2 cups flour

1 1/2 tsp cinnamon

1 1/2 tsp ginger

1/4 tsp pumpkin pie spice blend

1/4 tsp salt 

1 tsp baking soda

1/3 cup blackberry preserves

18 blackberries, halved

Directions:
*Cover baking sheets with parchment paper. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

*Cream the butter, margarine, egg, brown sugar, 1/2 cup of the sugar, molasses, and black raspberry sparkling water, until smooth. Mix in the flour, cinnamon, ginger, pumpkin pie spice, salt, and baking soda.

*Drop the blackberry preserves into the dough and roughly cut in with a knife.

*Drop by heaping tsp onto the baking sheets. Leave lots of room, they spread. Sprinkle with the remaining sugar.

*Bake for 9 - 11 minutes. Remove from the oven and immediately press a blackberry half into the center of each cookie. Allow to cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes before removing to cool completely.

What the Immigrants Knew

I've been thinking a lot about what's missing in our society today. Well, there's a whole lot missing, like honesty, political representation, a shared vision for this country, integrity, basic morals and values, to name a few. You probably know how I feel about these issues if you read this blog regularly.

But those are more national issues, visible on a macro level. Today I'm thinking more on a micro level, looking at the core of who we were and what we've lost.

And what we've lost is a sense of community. 

We became segregated first by Covid and now the byproduct of the virus, the convenience and options provided by online shopping, the ability many have to work from home, take out delivered to our front door, the lack of any human customer service, now to a great degree provided by online bots. We have become much more isolated, in many ways disconnected from our shared humanity, by the decline in day to day, face to face human interpersonal interaction.

Political, religious, and racial tribalism is fast becoming another nail in our collective societal coffin. 

I was really lucky. I had my great grandmother, Bubbe (Yiddish for grandmother) until I was in my mid-twenties. In one way, I had her longer than that. My mother's cousin, back when Bubbe was in (I think) her 80s, sat her in front of a tape recorder and told her to talk. She told stories from all the way back to her childhoood in Russia, of the pogroms, how her cousins came to be her half siblings, how they came to this country when her half-brother was (falsely) accused of murder. After she was gone, I still had her voice, telling so many fascinating stories that could have been lost.

But, of course, she couldn't possibly imagine that the one story I've been trying to piece together lately was worth mentioning. This one took place after she came to this country, and married Zayde (Yiddish for grandfather), another Russian immigrant, who I never met.

I grew up knowing that for some amount time, they had taken someone into their home. I can't figure out whether or not at that point they'd had all of their 5 children. I do know that at least some of them were there, so they were a family of up to 7, living in a small house in Roxbury, MA in the early 1900s. I also know that even my great uncle, the youngest of them, knew him well (at some point) and spoke of him in later years. I wish I'd asked my uncle then the questions I have now.

Because now it's kind of muddled, the memories of those of us who are two and three generations removed don't completely gel. My mother seems to remember that the man they took in had a drinking problem, my uncle is pretty sure he didn't. What they agree on is that he needed help of some kind and my great grandparents stepped up. My uncle remembers that he was characterized as a friend of the Goldman (the last name assigned to Zayde and some but not all of the family, at Ellis Island) family. Bubbe and Zayde owned a very small corner store/grocery, and apparently he hung out there, even helped out both at the store and at home when he was needed.

 

I don't know what circumstances led to him living with my great grandparents, how long he was there, or even what ultimately happened to him, other than he was part of their lives for longer than he lived in the home.

Bubbe and Zayde were immigrants living in a small house, running a little community store, and trying to get by. They didn't have much. But their friend both gave what he could and accepted what he needed. He was welcome in their home and shared meals at their dinner table. He became family.

Cranberry Pistachio Cake

 

Now, you may be thinking that Jewish Russian immigrants helping each other out in a new country isn't really much of a surprise. But here's where I make my point.

The man who became like family? His name was John Donovan.

Bubbe's and Zayde's inclusion, their camaraderie, their compassion, reached further than their tribe. It encompassed their entire and yes, diverse, community.

Cranberry Pistachio Cake

                                               ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

1 box white cake mix

1 box (3.4 oz) pistachio pudding mix

1/2 cup oil

1 cup milk

3 eggs

OPT: green food coloring

1/2 cup pistachios, shelled and chopped

18 fresh or frozen cranberries

1/4 cup cranberry juice

1 can (16 oz) cream cheese frosting

6 oz cream cheese, room temperature

1/2 cup powdered sugar

2 TBSP cranberry juice

OPT: red food coloring

Directions:

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour three 9-inch cake pans.

*Sift 3 TBSP pudding mix (you want the powder only) and set aside for the frosting. Set aside 9 of the cranberries for decoration. Cut the rest of the cranberries into quarters.

*Beat cake mix, remaining pudding mix, oil, milk, eggs, (and, if desired, a few drops of green food coloring) for 2 minutes. Fold in half of the chopped pistachios. Spread evenly into the prepared pans. Sprinkle 1/3 of the quartered cranberries onto each cake batter. Gently press just barely into the batter.

*Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, until the center of the tops spring back to the touch. Cool for 10 minutes, remove from the pans and cool completely. Place the bottom layer onto a serving plate.

*Using a pastry brush, brush 1/4 cup of the cranberry juice onto each cake layer.

*Beat together the cream cheese frosting, cream cheese, reserved pudding mix, powdered sugar, remaining 2 TBSP cranberry juice, (and, if desired, a few drops of red food coloring). Reserve 1/3 cup of the frosting to a piping bag and refrigerate for decoration.

*Use about 1/4 of the remaining frosting to frost the bottom layer, place the middle layer on top and use about the same amount to frost this layer. Add the top layer, then frost the top and sides with the other half of the frosting. Refrigerate for 20 minutes.

*Decorate the top of the cake with the reserved frosting, remaining cranberries, and remaining chopped pistachios.