Split Decision: Funny Friday

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here's today's picture. It was submitted by Me.

 

1. Child: Is this what they mean by "split decision?" 

Mom: Well, it's certainly proof that it's best to work together. 

 

2. Little Girl (looking at the tree): Mom, does that hurt? 

Mom: I don't think so, what do you think?

Little Girl: I don't think I'd want to do the splits for that long.
Mom: Good point. 

 

3. Maple (to his friend the Cottonwood): I heard something about you and your wife, are you OK?

Cottonwood: Yes, unfortunately we hit a rough patch.

Maple: Were you able to work it out?

Cottonwood, No, we decided to split.

 
4. Tree (to his better half): Honey, I think you've taken social distancing a bit too far.

5. Girlfriend to boyfriend: I think we should take a break.

Boyfriend (disappointed): Why? Don't you like spending time with me?
Girlfriend: I do, but I need a little space. Sometimes it feels like we're joined at the hip.

And now for something yummy:

Orange Cranberry Pull-Apart Loaf

 

Click on the link below for more smiles:

Southern Belle Charm 

Orange Cranberry Pull-Apart Loaf

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
2 cans refrigerated crescent dough sheets

3/4 cup orange marmalade

2 TBSP cranberry juice

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp allspice 

1/4 cup cranraisins

1/4 cup shelled roasted pistachios, chopped 

Directions:

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease a loaf pan.
*Unroll the crescent dough sheets and cut each one in half, the long way, then cut each half into thirds.
*Whisk together the orange marmalade, cranberry juice, cinnamon, and allspice. Mix in the cranraisins and chopped pistachios.
*Gently dollop a heaping teaspoon of the mixture into the center of the top of each of the 12 dough segments, then fold the bottom half over onto the filling. 

*Place loosely into your prepared loaf pan, folded side down and open side up to fill the pan.
*Bake for 20 minutes, loosely cover with tin foil and bake another 20 minutes. Remove from oven, gently run a knife around the edges, then allow to sit in the pan for 15 minutes before removing to serve.

Hell on Wheels: Funny Friday

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here's today's picture. It was submitted by Me.

 

 

1. Driver (to himself): Someone's having a bad day.  

 

2. Passenger: Who do you think put that sign up?

Driver: Ivanka Trump.

3. Passenger: Based on what I was just going to ask, I really hope that sign isn't prophetic.

Driver: What were you going to ask?
Passenger: I need to pee, are we anywhere near a rest stop? 

 

4. Little Boy: Are we there yet?

Mom: You just asked that a minute ago.

Little Boy: But are we there yet?

Mom: Honey, it's going to be another hour.

Two minutes later:

Little Girl: Are we there yet?
Dad (to wife): See that sign? Bet it was paid for by parents on a road trip.

Mom: Yeah, this trip brings a whole new perspective to the saying "hell on wheels."

5. Driver (to himself): Whoever put that sign up has obviously crossed paths with my ex-wife.

 
And now for something yummy:

Canadian Bacon French Toast

Click on the link below for more smiles:

Southern Belle Charm 

Canadian Bacon French Toast

                                                         ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

 

Ingredients: 

4 slices white or wheat bread

4 slices Canadian bacon

2 eggs

1/4 cup French vanilla creamer

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp almond extract 

2 TBSP butter, divided

 

OPT: serve with powdered sugar and/or maple syrup

Directions:
*Cut the center out of the bread slices using a cookie cutter of your choice. Remove the centers and set aside.

*Using the same cookie cutter, cut the center out of the slices of Canadian bacon. If the cutter won't cut through the meat, run a knife around the edges of the cutter into the meat. Remove the centers (I chop up the outer edges and freeze for later use in soups).

*Whisk together the egg, creamer, salt, and almond extract in a bowl that will accommodate the slices of bread.

*Melt 1 TBSP butter in a large skillet and heat on medium. 

*Dip both sides of 2 slices of bread in the egg mixture and place them in the pan. Press Canadian bacon cut-outs into the centers.

*Cook until the bottom of the bread is brown. Using a large spatula, flip them over. Lower the heat just a little and brown the other side. Remove from the pan and keep warm while you repeat with the other 2 slices.

*OPT: Dip the bread cut-outs in the egg mixture and cook them as well.

 

Blue Bracelets and a Bath: Funny Friday

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here's today's picture. It was submitted by Me.

1. Louise Lobster: I don't think we're in Kansas any more.
Loretta Lobster: Actually, I don't think we're in Maine any more, I'm pretty sure we may very well be in Kansas.
Louise Lobster: Then quick, click your claws together 3 times and repeat after me "there's no place like home, there's no place like home . . ."

2. Leonard Lobster: Looks like there's nothing to worry about, guys, that nice lady seems to be preparing a bath for us.

3. Linda Lobster: I agree with Leonard, there's nothing to worry about, that nice lady even gave us these pretty blue bracelets.
Louise Lobster: I don't know, mine's a bit tight.

4. Husband (walking into the kitchen and looking at the floor): Is that dinner?
Wife (rolling her eyes): No, they just stopped by for coffee.

5. Little Boy (walking into the kitchen and looking at the floor): Mommy! You got me new pets!
Mom: Well, for the next half an hour maybe, but I wouldn't get too attached to them if I were you.


And now for something yummy. Not lobster, but if you're looking for a delicious Grilled Lobster Roll (can substitute shrimp or crab, btw) recipe, it's just a link click away:

 

Pear and Orange Tartlets

Click on the link below for more smiles:

Southern Belle Charm 

Pear and Orange Tartlets

                                                         ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 unbaked refrigerator pie crust

1 TBSP butter

2 Bosc pears

2 TBSP brown sugar

1/4 tsp cinnamon

2 TBSP orange marmalade

1 tsp candied ginger, finely chopped

1/4 cup chopped pecans

 

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Place 12 tartlet liners onto a baking sheet. 

*Using a 3 inch round cookie cutter or a 3 inch round mouth of a glass, cut the crust into as many 3 inch circles as will fit. Roll out the remaining crust and continue to cut out circles until you have a dozen.

*Gently press each crust circle into and up the sides of each of the liners. Prick the bottoms with a fork. Bake for 5 minutes, cool completely, then remove the crust from the tartlet liners if desired (can serve in the liners).

*While the crust is cooling, core and peel the pears. Chop into small cubes.

*Melt the butter in a small skillet over medium heat. Add the chopped pears. Cook and stir for about 7 minutes, just until they begin to soften. Add the brown sugar and cinnamon and cook for 1 more minute.

*Remove the skillet from the heat. Stir in the marmalade, ginger, and pecans. Set aside to begin to cool for 15 minutes, then spoon the filling into the cooled tartlet crusts.
 

Screw Loose: Funny Friday

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here's today's picture. It was submitted by Me!

1. Dad (mumbling under his breath): Some assembly required, they said. It'll be easy, they said. Easy, my ass.
Son: What, daddy?
Dad: I said grass, It'll be easy to assemble on the grass.
Grandfather (under his breath): Grass, my ass. 

2. Mom (to grandmother, both watching from the kitchen): You know he'll be a teenager before they get that done. 
Grandmother: It can be his high school graduation gift.

3. Grandmother (to mom): Let's go get mani pedis. You know dear, we should find them an 8 hour project every weekend. 

4. Son: Is it done yet?
Dad: We're just starting.
Son: Now?
Dad: It's going to take some time.
Son: Is it done yet?
Dad: I think mom's calling you why don't you go see what she wants?
Son: Then it'll be done?
Dad (under his breath): If she keeps you in there till dinner time.

5. Dad (walking into the house triumphantly): It's done! There were only like 6 screws left over, I'm sure they were extras.
Mom (whispering to grandmother): If he thinks I'm putting my son on a swing that's missing screws, he's got a screw loose himself.

And now for something yummy:

 

Mocha Swirl Breakfast Puffs

 

Click on the link below for more smiles:

Southern Belle Charm 

Mocha Swirl Breakfast Puffs        

                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:  

1 1/2 cups milk, divided 

1 TBSP baking cocoa

1 TBSP sugar

1/4 cup brewed coffee

3 eggs

1 1/2 cups flour

1 tsp salt

 

1/4 cup powdered sugar

 

Directions:

*Whisk the baking cocoa and sugar into the brewed coffee. Mix in 1/4 cup milk and set aside to cool.

*Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spray 12 muffin tin wells with non stick spray.

*Whisk together the remaining 1 cup of milk, eggs, flour and salt. Whisk the coffee mixture one more time, then drizzle into the batter (do not stir).

*Place the muffin tin into the preheated oven for about 30 seconds, just to heat up.

*Take the pan out of the oven and quickly pour the batter evenly into the 12 wells.

*Bake for 35  minutes, without opening the oven at all.

*Run a knife around the edges and pop the puffs out of the pan (they will deflate). Sprinkle with powdered sugar to serve.

 

Love Hurts: Funny Friday

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here's today's picture. It was submitted by Me!

1. Harry Hawk: Are you finally ready to go? I've been waiting for you forever.
Hazel Hawk: That depends. Do I look fat in these feathers?

2. Harry Hawk: What is that song those humans are playing? 
Hazel Hawk: It sounds like Fly Like an Eagle.
Harry Hawk: Well that's just insulting. 

3. Harry Hawk: What are you looking at?
Hazel Hawk: That TV in the window down there.
Harry Hawk: Why?
Hazel Hawk: I'm looking for someone I know.
Harry Hawk: What?
Hazel Hawk: They keep talking about some guy, must be a cousin, but I don't see any birds at all.
Harry Hawk: Why do you think he's a cousin?
Hazel Hawk: That little guy, they call him Radar, keeps saying he's going to go get Hawkeye.

4. Hazel Hawk: I'm tired of hunting, I'm going back to the nest.
Harry Hawk: But we haven't eaten yet.
Hazel Hawk: I'm too tired for take-out, can't you just splurge and do delivery for once?

5. Harry Hawk: Jeez, woman, you need to get those talons trimmed. You add a whole new meaning to "love hurts."


And now for something yummy:

Fiery Shrimp

Click on the link below for more smiles:

Southern Belle Charm 

Fiery Shrimp         

                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
2 TBSP olive oil
2# large shrimp, peeled and deveined
2 cloves minced garlic, divided
1/4 cup chopped onions
2 cans (14.5 oz) Italian flavored diced tomatoes
2 TBSP white wine
3/4 tsp sriracha sauce
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp dried basil
1/2 tsp dried oregano
1/2 - 3/4 tsp dried crushed red chili flakes
1# fettuccine noodles

Directions:
*Heat the olive oil in a large saute pan over medium heat. Add 1 clove of minced garlic and the shrimp. Cook until the shrimp starts to turn pink. Turn and cook the other side until the shrimp is completely cooked. Remove from the pan.
*Add the other clove of garlic and the onions to the pan. Cook and stir until the onions are soft.
*In a large pot, bring water to a boil.
*To the saute pan, add the tomatoes (with their juices), white wine, sriracha, salt, pepper, basil, oregano and 1/2 tsp red chili flakes. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for 10 minutes. Taste and add more crushed red chili flakes if desired.
*While the sauce is simmering, cook the fettuccine noodles to al dente in the large pot. Drain.
*Add the shrimp to the sauce. Cook until the shrimp are hot, then toss the sauce with the fettuccine.

Up a Tree: Funny Friday

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here's today's picture was submitted by Me!

1. Mom (to her young child): Hey, look at that.
Child: Where's the basket with Toto?

2. Teenager (on the phone): Hello, fire department? I know you help people get cats out of trees . . .
Firefighter: Yes, we'll help, is your cat stuck in a tree?
Teenager: Well, here's the thing, how do you feel about bicycles?

Same teenager, a few minutes later, again on the phone: Hi, mom. I might be a little late for dinner, I have a bit of a situation. And the firefighters won't help.

3. Young man: You're walking today. You don't usually walk. Where's your bike?
Friend: Up a tree. Without a paddle.

4. Tree: OUCH!
Bicycle: Hey, listen, this isn't exactly comfortable for me either.

5. Looks like ET didn't exactly make it home . . .

And now for something yummy, a side dish today. I use fat free and lower fat cheeses in this recipe, but you can use whatever cheeses you choose: 

Broccoli Cheese Casserole

Click on the link below for more smiles: 
Southern Belle Charm 

Broccoli Cheese Casserole

                                                         ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

NOTE: I use fat free and lower fat cheeses in this recipe, but you can certainly use the full fat versions.

Ingredients:
2 cups steamed, cooled broccoli
3 eggs
1 cup milk
1 cup flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp mustard powder
dash of cayenne 
1/4 cup grated parmesan
1/4 cup low fat mozzarella
1/2 cup fat free shredded cheddar
1/2 cup low fat shredded cheddar
3/4 tsp paprika 
1/4 cup sliced almonds

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease an 8 X 11 baking pan.
*Chop the broccoli and set aside.
*Whisk the eggs and milk together, then whisk in the flour, baking powder, salt, mustard powder and cayenne.
*Mix in the parmesan, mozzarella, and both cheddar cheeses along with the broccoli.
*Pour evenly into the prepared pan. Sprinkle with the paprika and crush the sliced almonds over the top.
*Bake for 25 to 35 minutes, it will be completely set and starting to brown around the edges.
*Allow to cool for 10 minutes before slicing.
 

It's Time: Funny Friday

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here's today's picture. It was submitted by Me!

1. Sing that Chicago song along with me: Does anybody really know what time it is . . . does anybody really care?

2. Husband: The face of that clock is on wrong.
Wife: No it's not, tilt your head, you're just looking at it wrong.


3. Friend (looking at the clock): Ummm, nice clock?
Woman: I'm calling it a piece of contemporary art.
Friend: OK?
Woman: That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

4.Husband: It's time.
Wife: Time for what?
Husband: Time to get a new clock.

5. Child: Look mom, I made you a clock.
Mom: It's beautiful, thank you.
Child: Can you set it to the right time?
Mom: You know what, we should let dad do that.

And now for something yummy: 

Apple Bourbon Mini Muffins 

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile: 

Southern Belle Charm 
Follow Me Home 

Apple Bourbon Mini Muffins       

                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients (makes 36):
1/2 medium sized apple, peeled, cored and finely chopped
1 TBSP brown sugar
1/4 tsp cinnamon 
2 cups flour 
3/4 cup sugar
3 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp apple pie seasoning
1 egg
1/2 cup canola oil 
1/2 cup Jim Beam Apple, divided
1/2 cup apple juice
1/4 cup chopped walnuts

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Place mini cupcake papers in 36 mini cupcake pan wells or grease the wells.
*In a small bowl, coat the chopped apples with the brown sugar, cinnamon, and 1 TBSP of the Jim Beam Apple. Set aside.
*In a large bowl, mix the flour, sugar, baking powder, salt and apple pie seasoning.
*In a separate bowl, whisk the egg, oil, remaining Jim Beam Apple, and the apple juice.
*Mix the wet ingredients into the dry just until incorporated, then fold in the coated apples and walnuts.
*Spoon about 1 TBSP batter into each prepared tin.
*Bake for 12 to 15 minutes, or until the centers of the top spring back to the touch. Cool for 5 minutes before removing from the cups.