Gratitude With a Side of Perspective

 

 

Thanksgiving.

Yeah, yeah, I know, get with the program, that was 6 weeks ago. In fact, not only is Thanksgiving over, so is Hanukkah, Christmas, and New Year’s. 

I had a really tough time this past holiday season. I alluded to it in my December Secret Subject Swap, but wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. Today, I’m putting the story out there, releasing myself from its grip. 

 

It's a story about stars that did not align. In fact, they were so far out of alignment, they'd need a chiropractor.

Before I tell the story, let me say that I'm a planner. I think way ahead, break tasks down into smaller pieces, schedule them on my calendar (in pencil, so I can work ahead and delete, or if I fall behind, reschedule). It’s not written in stone, but I have everything accounted for, broken down into manageable pieces, and organized. That’s especially important this time of year when, for 2 weeks, everyone’s home. I have a big Thanksgiving dinner to make, as well as College Boy’s birthday dinner, Hanukkah, all of PurDude’s favorite dinners, sides, snacks, and desserts (with plenty left over to send home with him). 

Organization is my key to stress relief. Not only that, but it ensures I get to spend as much time engaged with my family as possible.

So the week before PurDude was to come home, all the shopping was done, some of the Thanksgiving prep was done, the house cleaners would come on Friday, and PurDude would make the drive home on Saturday. Minimal stress.

Oops, spoke too soon.

 

 

 

 

On Wednesday it was freezing cold and windy out, but I was indoors doing my thing, didn’t even notice.

Until Wednesday night, when I very much noticed that it was freezing in the house. That observation was followed by another, that the heat was not coming on. At all.

On Thursday, the company that had installed our furnace 5 years ago spent some time downstairs and, on the way out, told us that we needed a chip in a motherboard (on warranty, phew), that was back ordered for about 3 months. Delete that “phew.”

After me blocking the door (figuratively, not literally), telling them they could not just leave like this, they offered to sell me a motor I would only need until the part came in, to bypass the motherboard, for $1000. Umm, no. But I didn’t let them leave until they literally scoured the country for the part, then got the president of their company involved.

Friday, they tried to install the motor (at no charge). It didn’t work. They had found a furnace in Tennessee, the part would be removed, sent here next day air to arrive Saturday. But I also had to push the house cleaning off until Monday. It was 49 degrees in the house.

Even with the gas fireplace heating the man cave level (didn’t use the wood fireplace on the main level because we’d be tending to it constantly), two space heaters the HVAC company brought us, and 2 we bought, it was very cold in the house, about 55 degrees. An improvement, but still cold.

I tried to keep on schedule with many of the tasks for the 2 weeks of celebrations, while also spending as little time as possible in the kitchen on the main floor.

 

 

Creamy Peas & Pearl Onions

 

On Saturday the part did not arrive. And PurDude texted. He was sick, did not feel up to making the drive. Maybe tomorrow . . .

 

Sunday night, PurDude arrived. He was sick, but he was here. 

Monday, still no part. I was starting to doubt its existence. But it had warmed both outside and inside, so I didn't cancel the house cleaning. Just before they were to arrive, though, I got a text, she didn't have anyone to watch her 5 year old. Then a while later, another text, they were on their way.

After the man cave had been cleaned, the cleaners were heading upstairs when I told them that my son was in his room working, to just skip his room. G responded that her sons were in the car. Now she barely speaks English, so I wasn't sure of what she was saying, but I looked out front and in her car I could see 2 of her kids.

Nope, I couldn't have that. Bring them in.

Which was how I ended up spending my afternoon babysitting a 5 year old. 

 

Oy.

 

After the cleaners left, I texted them.

 

Me: Deberias estar orgullose, tus hijos son felices, se portan bien, y son muy educados.

(You should be proud, your sons are happy, well behaved, and very polite).

 

And the answer I got was the gift of perspective.

 

G: Muchas gracias Karen, seguire trabajando con ellos, y para ellos.

(Thank you very much, Karen. I will continue to work with them, and for them).

 

Such a simple but powerful statement of parental love, I will probably remember it forever.

On Tuesday, I insisted PurDude see a doctor. He was walking back in the house with a dx of acute sinus infection and middle ear infection, and a big bottle of antibiotics, just as the wizard working down in the basement got the heat going.

Slowly, very slowly, the stars had realigned.

As usual, on turkey day, as we went around the table, I had a lot about which to express my heartfelt thanks. Mostly the usual, but this year (and forever more) I have a few more things to happily add to my thankful list.

I’m always thankful for my family, for our home, for the precious time we get to spend together.

But this year I'm more appreciative of a clean house . . . although maybe in the future without the babysitting duties part (hope that sounds more exhausted and less ungrateful). 

I'm thankful for schedules broken apart coming back together again. And for perspective, wherever it may come from.

 

And for heat.  

 

And antibiotics.

Amen.

Creamy Peas & Pearl Onions        

                                                                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1/2 cup vegetable broth

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

2 slices bacon, cooked and chopped

1 bag (12 oz) frozen peas

1 cup frozen pearl onions (about 12), halved

2 oz mushrooms, sliced

1 TBSP cooking sherry 

1/2 cup mascarpone

 

1 tsp dried chives

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease an 8 X 8 or 7 inch round baking dish

*In a saute pan over just above medium heat, bring the vegetable broth, salt, and pepper to a boil. Add the bacon, frozen peas, frozen pearl onions, and mushrooms. Cook, stirring now and then for 5 minutes. 

*Add the sherry and mascarpone. Stir until the mascarpone has melted, then allow to boil for 3 minutes.

*Pour into the prepared baking dish, sprinkle with the dried chives, and bake, uncovered, for 25 minutes.

Thank You Note. Or Not.

Thank You Notes. The bane of every child's existence. In my day, anyway. I was raised to write them and, pretty much like all other kids, hated it. It's not that I wasn't appreciative of gifts, I just didn't see why I had to take the time to sit down and construct an actual letter. Especially if it was after a birthday party where the gift was handed to me and I said "thank you". That's enough, right? Wrong.

Then I grew up. And guess what? My kids were raised to write them. When they were little, I'd have to do the writing. The irony was not lost on me that I was now writing my own and someone else's (two someone else's) as well. In stages, the boys took over part of their own responsibility. They'd sign their name or draw a picture to the notes I'd written on their behalf. Later, they'd dictate a thank you for me to send. Eventually the time came when they'd write their own notes and stuff them into the envelope I'd addressed and stamped. And they'd "forget", put it off, complain, all the things I did at their age. I'd constantly be telling them that they spent longer avoiding and complaining than they would just writing them.

The art of the "proper thank you" has gone the way of hieroglyphics. That's not all bad. Even though I'd hit both ends of the pendulum, from thinking they are the most evil thing you could make poor young me do to understanding how important thanking people is and asking (OK, insisting) my kids write them, I'm now heading in the direction of my original thought. For the most part (maybe other than wedding gifts), I don't see the point. To me, most people these days, formality does not a proper thank you make . . .

Thank You Notes have been replaced many times over, by cards you can just sign to pre-printed generic fill in the blanks to phone calls, to emails, and now texts. And other than the fill in the blank ones, I'm fine with all of the above. Because to me, it's more the message and less the medium. Saying thank you is more about reaching out to express gratitude. 

Words, in whatever form, are enough. Although it's very different from receiving a gift, I've done it all from sending emails to teachers, texting a friend who dropped off dinner, verbally thanked the waitress for delivering our meals.

Grilled Cedar Planked Salmon

on the grill

on the plate

We have relatives who send very minimal checks as gifts. I know it sounds disrespectful, but through the years the boys and I have joked about it as they wrote out their obligatory notes. We'd say things like "the gift doesn't even pay for the stamp on the thank you note." And the one time my son just somehow forgot? The relative actually went to his grandmother (my mom), who was flying out here for his high school graduation, that while she was here she should admonish him for not sending a "thank you". Truth is, no matter what the gift is or isn't, even at it's least grateful the note is about acknowledging receipt. At it's core, a gift is about the thought, the time and the effort. Some level of reciprocating effort is expected, and it should be.
 
In the spirit of gratitude, I have a few acknowledgements to make myself, and now seems like as good a time as any.

*Thank you to my family, near and far, blood and step and chosen. No explanation necessary, just thank you.

*Thank you to Purdue, for helping my boy achieve his goals. Through loss and emotional trauma and even his first broken bone, he is growing and changing and becoming everything I knew he could be.

*Thank you to this political season. College Boy and I haven't talked and laughed this much since he was little. Through discussing all the shenanigans we read about every day, I learn just how intelligent and thoughtful my oldest is.


*Thank you to Intersession and to Spring Break and to Summer Break.

*Thank you to the readers who raise my spirits with their page views and comments. Sometimes, when I'm really down, that's all it takes to eek out a smile.

*Thank you to my recipe muse. Collaboration is way more fun than alone.

*Thank you to those who written for me, to all who collaborate with me, the people who challenge and encourage me. 

*Thank you to Spring. I sit on the deck with my face towards the sky, listen to recess at the school through the woods and I know I've made it through another winter.

And although a call, an email or a text is just fine by me, like Mom taught me, I did actually just put that in writing.

Grilled Cedar Planked Salmon

                                                                          ©www.BakingInATornado.com


Printable Recipe

NOTE: For this recipe you will need a cedar plank meant for grilling food. They're available in many places, including on Amazon. 
 
Ingredients:
1# fresh salmon filet
3 cups apple cider
1/3 cup olive oil
1 TBSP dijon mustard
1 tsp lemon juice
2 tsp dried dill
1/2 tsp minced garlic

Directions:
*At least 2 hours before cooking, submerge the plank in the apple cider and place in the refrigerator.
*At the same time, rinse and pat the fish dry. Whisk the olive oil, mustard, lemon juice, dill and garlic, and place in a pan. Add the fish and flip over a few times to be sure it's all covered in the marinade. Refrigerate until 1 hour before cooking.
*When ready to cook, heat the grill to medium high. Lower the temperature to medium. Remove the plank from the cider and place on the grill. 
*Remove the fish from the marinade and place, skin side down on the plank. Brush the top of the fish with marinade from the pan and immediately close the grill.
*Allow to cook for 15 to 20 minutes, or just until the fish flakes with a fork. Remove to serving plate. Discard the plank.