Tighty Righty Whities: Fly on the Wall

Welcome to our monthly Fly on the Wall, a blog post written in snippets. Marcia, Diane, and I invite you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes, at our writing desks, and in our worlds. Come on in, buzz around, see what we've been up to. Bet you laugh! 

I know I've mentioned about a million times over the years that I'm a lifetime Red Sox fan. I've also mentioned that PurDude buys us a season subscription to all the games each year. 

Mostly, it's made me so happy. Last year not so much, and this year seems to be setting up to be a repeat of last year {{sob}}.

But I keep watching. Every game.

Hubs and I are just settling in for a Saturday afternoon game.

Me: Know what the definition of insanity is?

Hubs: What?
Me: Watching the Red Sox play game after game, and expecting a different result.

Hubs: Funny. Sad, but funny.

Me: You know what that makes us?

Hubs: Certifiable?

Me: I prefer happily delusional.

Hubs: That works too.

So . . . we were watching a game, the Red Sox were actually getting runners on the bases (yay!) but couldn't bring them home (boo!).

Later in the game, there were runners on base, and the batter got a hit, actually scoring two runs. But the batter twisted all the way to the side almost in a full circle when he hit the ball, and the announcers said something about it looking like a break in his back.

Me: OMG!!!

Hubs: Worth it.

Me: A broken back? What kind of a person are you?

Hubs: Ummm, bat. Not back, bat.

Me (said in my best Gilda Radner, Emily Litella voice): Nevermind.  

Hubs is driving down the street on his way home when he sees me running towards him, about 1/2 mile up the street.

Hubs (pulling over and yelling out the window): What's wrong?

Me (out of breath): There's a hornet in the house. There's a hornet in the house.

Hubs: Where are you going?
Me (still running): Anywhere.

Hubs and I had been talking about the price of groceries. Some items seem to be coming down in price, but many are still way higher than they should be (like eggs and vegetables), and others seem to fluctuate on a day by day basis.

The next day, Hubs comes up to the bedroom:

Hubs: What's on the kitchen table?
Me: What do you mean?
Hubs: I was just in the kitchen and there's a plastic cup on the table with something in there.

Me: Oh, that. I'm growing scallions.

Hubs: You are? That's great. So we can lower our grocery bill?

Me: Yes, about 81 cents. With all that money we're saving, maybe we can start looking at bigger houses.

A few days later, I'd been making salmon and when I went to transfer it to a platter, a piece broke off and fell into a glass I'd been drinking from. Seriously frustrated, I set the glass aside.

Hubs comes into the kitchen:

Hubs (looking into the glass with a quizzical expression): What are you growing here?

Me: Salmon, should save us a whole lot of money.

Hubs: You can't do that.

Me: Yes, I'm aware.

Hubs: So what are you doing?

Me: It's a new recipe I'm trying. Salmon Under Glass.

Hubs: Oh, so we're having salmon for dinner tonight?

Me: No, shrimp.

Hubs: Then when is the salmon for?

Me: The next time we have a fight.

Kung Pao Shimp

with Take-Out Style Brown Rice

We'd had a long stretch of April showers that instead of bringing May flowers, brought May (more) showers. Our sump pump in the basement was petitioning for overtime pay. 

I was on my laptop when Hubs came upstairs.

Hubs: What are you doing?

Me: Shopping.

Hubs: What do you need?

Me: It's what you need.

Hubs: Really, so what are you buying me?"
Me: A machete.

Hubs: What? Why?

Me: Because if that lawn doesn't dry out soon, you're going to need a machete to get through it.

And the miserable weather seemed to be never-ending.

Monday, Hubs comes into the kitchen, looks out the window and says "rain."

Tuesday, Hubs comes into the kitchen, looks out the window and says "rain."

Wednesday, Hubs comes into the kitchen, looks out the window and says "rain."

Thursday, I'm on the phone when Hubs comes into the kitchen, looks out the window and says "rain."

Me: Ugh, enough already, I know.

Marcee (on the phone): Who are you talking to?

Me: Apparently I'm married to either Nicholas Cage or Dustin Hoffman.

Marcee: Huh?
Me: I've either got The Weather Man or Rain Man here.

I've talked many times, basically every spring, to be exact, about the woodpeckers who peck holes in our chimney siding this time of year. Despite running outside scaring them away pretty much constantly, we still end up having to pay about $1500 each spring to have the siding replaced.

Our neighbor (we all have this issue) found out about something called cement siding boards. They look like wood and are painted to match the house, but they're cement so no woodpeckers. He's having them installed and now so are we, but the wait is about 2 weeks.

Meanwhile, as if we don't have enough problems, swallows have built a nest inside the hole in our siding that the woodpeckers have made. Just great. But . . .

Me: Want to hear the meaning of irony?
Hubs: Sure.

Me: The swallows are keeping the woodpeckers away.

A pendant light over our kitchen counter had burned out and, of course, Hubs wasn't home. He could reach it more easily, I had to try to change it balancing on the counter. Of course, while I'm trying to unscrew it, I'm talking to myself.

Of course, that's when Hubs walks in.

Hubs: What are you doing?

Me: Changing this light bulb.

Hubs: But why are you talking about underwear?
Me: I'm not. I'm saying that righty/lefty thing while unscrewing the bulb.

Hubs (laughing): That's not how it goes.

Me: Huh?

Hubs: It's "righty tighty," not "tighty whities." Tighty whities are underwear.

Well, that's embarrassing.

The next day I was placing an order online for some kitchen supplies, when I yelled up to Hubs.

Me: Hey, I'm placing an order for some kitchen towels and oven mitts.

Hubs: OK.

Me: Is there anything you need?

Hubs: Not than I can think of.

Me: So you're all good with tighty righty whities?

 

Now click on the links below and see what my friends have to share:

Menopausal Mother 

On the Border

Kung Pao Shrimp

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

2 TBSP oil

18 oz large, peeled and deveined shrimp

20 oz bag frozen stir fry vegetable mix, or you can use 2 - 3 cups chopped fresh vegetables of your choice

3/4 cup bottled Kung Pao sauce

1 TBSP sweet chili sauce

3 TBSP soy sauce

1/2 tsp sesame oil

OPT: serve with my Take-Out Style Brown Rice

Directions:
*Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium high heat until hot. Add the shrimp. Cook for 2 minutes, flip over and cook about another 2 minutes until completely cooked. Remove and keep warm.

*Add the vegetables to the pan skillet. Cook, stirring, about 3 minutes until the vegetables start to thaw.

*Whisk together the Kung Pao sauce, sweet chili sauce, soy sauce, and sesame oil and add to the skillet. Reduce the heat to medium and bring to a boil, continuing to stir.

*Once all the vegetables are coated with the sauce and the sauce has boiled for 2 - 3 minutes, add the shrimp back into the skillet. Cook, stirring, for another 2 minutes.