Not How That Works: Fly on the Wall

 

Welcome to our monthly Fly on the Wall, a blog post written in snippets. Marcia, Diane, and I invite you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes, at our writing desks, and in our worlds. Come on in, buzz around, see what we've been up to. Bet you laugh! 

  

Hubs works mostly from home, only going into the office a few days a week. When he's here, there are times when I can talk to him, and other times when he's working on a client's account and can't talk. 

I'd called to him, but he let me know he was in the middle of working on an account, then had to take a zoom call. Since I told him I didn't need to talk to him that minute, he said he'd let me know when he had time to talk.

Later, he came to find me.

Me: Ummm. Well, clearly, I'm not getting enough exercise.

Hubs: That's what you wanted to tell me?
Me: No. I play 13 brain exercise word and number games every day, and I still can't remember what I wanted to talk to you about a couple of hours ago.

This is the month of April Fools Day. Of course, I had to play a trick on Hubs.

Me: April Fools!

Hubs: What do you mean April Fools? 

Me: I mean April Fools!

Hubs: But you already played an April Fools prank on me in March. You said you were trying to catch me off guard.

Me: And I did, but now it actually is April.

Hubs: But it's not April 1st, it's April 12th.

Me: Surprise!

 

 

Hubs was out doing errands when he called me:

Hubs: Guess what I just found out?
Me: What?
Hubs: I have the same birthday as Taylor Swift.

Me (kinda surprised that he even knows who she is): How did you find that out?

Hubs: I have a sports talk show on in the car, and they were talking about Travis Kelce, and then mentioned her, and somehow her birthday came up, and it's the same as mine.

Me: Oh. OK. Umm . . . congratulations?
Hubs: Well, I mean same day, not the same year.

Me: Well, thanks for clearing that up for me.

Hubs: I wonder if I'm related to her.

Me: I don't think that's how it works . . .

 

 

Hubs was eating breakfast when I looked over and started laughing. 

Hubs: What are you laughing at?

Me: That's not how that works.

Hubs: Eating breakfast?

Me: No, the mathematical concept of 100%.

Hubs: Huh?

Me: Read the large white writing on your juice label.

Hubs (reading): 100% juice. Apple. 

Me: Now read the hard to read, thin black writing below.

Hubs (straining to read): With added ingredients . . . yeah, I think you're right, I'm pretty sure that's not how 100% works.

Hubs had been working out in the front yard. He'd been out there quite a while so I decided to just check on him. 

On the way back in the house, I looked down at the front doormat, then turned around to call out to him.

Me: Don't you think this is a bit extreme?

Hubs: What?

Me: If you're hungry, no need to take a bite out of the doormat. Come on inside, I've got cake.

Black Cherry Cake

You all probably know by now that I take advantage of every opportunity to encourage my son to come visit. He spends a few weeks here at holiday time, and sometimes in the spring I get a week or two with him, but I miss him always.

It was his birthday recently. I wouldn't be able to talk to him until that night, but I did send him a happy birthday text with this picture:

PurDude: Thank you for the birthday wishes, but why did you send me a picture of the kitchen?

Me: It's a picture of the new microwave.

PurDude: Oh, that's nice.

Me: It's your birthday present. You should come try it out.

PurDude: Nice try, mom.

 

I often talk about mistakes I make while trying to text . . . let's say quicker than my efficiency allows. Sometimes I catch them, other times I'm embarrassed when the recipient points them out.

I, unfortunately, mostly make these mistakes when texting with my son, which we do each day. And it's a good thing I double checked before sending this one.

Let me just give you this piece of advice. When texting your son about someone being "down for the count" do not, I repeat, DO NOT, leave the "o" out of the word count.

I was watching one of my murder mystery shows, when Hubs comes into the den and sits down.

Hubs: What are you watching?
Me: A murder mystery, pretty much all I watch.

Hubs: Fact or fiction?
Me: This one is fact.

Hubs: Who got murdered?
Me: A bank manager. The police are gathering information. They got bank records, and cell phone records for both he and his wife.

As the detectives read through the wife's texts, they find one to her brother.

Cop (reading the text): Tonight. I have to kill him tonight.

Me (to Hubs): And you thought I was bad.

I wasn't feeling well, and by early evening I was worn out. I planned to gather everything I needed, put it all on the side table next to the couch, settle in on the couch in front of the TV for a few hours and not move.

I got everything together, settled in, and got comfortable. I reached over to get my tissue, and couldn't find it. On the side table was my water, acetaminophen, cough drops . . . no tissue.

I heard Hubs coming up from the man cave. When he hit the top of the stairs:

Me (angrily): What did you do with my tissue?
Hubs: {{blink, blink}}. 

Me: Well?

Hubs: I'm trying to figure out how to answer you.

Truth is, even after all these years, he still rarely knows how to answer me. Poor guy.

Hubs was out doing an errand and called me before coming home.

Hubs: I'm done with my errand and I'm right next door to the grocery store, do you need anything?

Me: Actually, I'm running really low on paper towels. I use Bounty.

Hubs comes home from the store:

Hubs: There were 2 kinds of Bounty. One is called Bounty Essentials and it costs about half of the regular Bounty paper towels. They say "strong, soft, affordable," is that what you wanted?

Me: Never heard of Essentials.

Hubs: Then I saved us a lot of money. You're welcome.

The next day:

Hubs: Did you try those paper towels I bought?

Me: Yes.

Hubs: How are they?

Me: I suppose they're OK, as long as . . .

Hubs: As long as what?
Me: As long as you don't need them to . . . you know . . . absorb anything.

 

Now click on the links below and see what my friends have to share:

Menopausal Mother 

On the Border

Blaxk Cherry Cake

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

1 box (15.25 oz) white cake mix

1 1/4 cups milk

1/2 cup oil

4 egg whites

1 container (5.3 oz) black cherry yogurt

1 box (.3 oz) sugar free black cherry jello powder, divided

1/3 cup frozen pitted black cherries

8 oz cream cheese, softened

3/4 stick butter, softened

3 cups powdered sugar

remaining 1 1/2 tsp jello powder

up to 3 TBSP milk

Directions:
*Defrost the cherries and chop. Pat dry and set aside.

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9 X 13 baking dish.

*Beat the cake mix, 1 1/4 cup milk, oil, egg whites, yogurt, and 2 tsp jello powder for 2 minutes. Fold in the chopped cherries.
*Pour evenly into the prepared pan and bake for about 35 minutes, until the center springs back to the touch. Cool completely.

*Beat the cream cheese and butter until smooth. Slowly, until incorporated, beat in the powdered sugar and remaining 1 1/2 tsp jello powder. Beat in the milk, 1 TBSP at a time, until the frosting is spreading consistency. 

*Spread the frosting on the cooled cake, decorate as desired.

*Store, covered, in refrigerator. Bring to room temperature for serving.

Liver Cake and Lies

Lies don’t matter. They did when I was growing up. Or maybe that’s just a lie my mother told me?

But one thing's for sure, they certainly don’t matter now. In fact, they’d become so prevalent, especially in our politics, that just as many believe them as those of us who seek out the truth, use logic, see them for the blatant manipulation that they are.

There seems to be some kind of contest going on, who can get away with the most absurd lie. And although there are a lot of front runners (it’s been neck and neck for years now) with trump barely leading the way, seems he’s being pushed aside. George Santos is currently in the lead. Which is impressive considering that the rest of the party cult seems to live by the watchword “no lie is too small, no lie is too large.” 

My only hope is that prize for winning is a room with bars on the door.

But listen, I’ve tried to be an honest person, and mostly succeeded, I think. But if our current culture is a no-hold-barred, throw out that filter and let ‘em rip lie fest, I may just try out a few. You know, in the name of science (well, if you’re one of the few people who still believe in science).

So, in keeping with what is apparently the new Golden Rule "lie unto others as you have seen others lie unto you," here goes:

 

To the family:

~ I just got home but sure, I'll do the laundry, you’ll have plenty of clean underwear in the morning.

Followed the next day by:

~ No, those shorts aren’t see-through, I can’t at all tell you had to go commando today.

 

~ That isn't Cheetos dust around my mouth, it's a new makeup I'm trying. Yes, on my fingers too.

~ I'm not still upset about our argument, and no, I haven't seen the remote to the TV down in your man cave.

~ I was just about to take pictures for the blog, but sure, go ahead and try the cake, I made it for an April Fools blog post, there's a little bit of chopped liver and barely a hint of onion, let me know what you think.

 

Pineapple Cake with Dark Cherries

 

 

To no one and every one:

 

~ I have no problem with people giving away the ending of a book in their book reviews. 

~ Go ahead and pretend you didn't see your dog using my lawn as a toilet. You're actually doing me a favor. After all, it's free fertilizer.

~ Politicians should not be held accountable when their lies threaten the life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness of Americans. After all, it's in the job description.

 

~ What was in the minds of our forefathers, when writing the constitution, was that the right to bear arms not be intended as a means to defend our country, but to ensure the freedom of future citizens to carry assault weapons into schools, grocery stores, and movie theaters. 

~ Lies in particular, and dishonesty in general, help build a cohesive, healthy, productive society. 

I may have choked on that last one. 

 

OK, I may not quite be up to the task of being the new front runner.

That's alright, I didn't want to spend the next few years in a room with an exposed toilet, anyway.

And as much as lying may have provided momentary amusement, none of my lies had any real, life altering impact. No one's grandma died while I was vehemently, publicly denying the existence of a deadly virus.

But they were still lies, still meant, not so much to manipulate, but to deceive. And in the end, they are harmful, even if only to my own self-esteem.

Truth.

Pineapple Cake with Dark Cherries         

                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
7 frozen pitted dark cherries

1 can (8 oz) pineapple chunks

1 box yellow cake mix

3 eggs

1/2 cup oil

1/2 cup milk

1/2 cup pineapple juice

1 can (16 oz) cream cheese frosting

2 TBSP yellow sanding sugar, 

1 TBSP powdered sugar, 

1/2 tsp pineapple extract

2 TBSP pineapple juice

Directions:

*Chop the cherries and thaw on paper towels.

*Drain the pineapple well, chop (don't shred), and place on paper towels.

*Grease and flour a 9 X 13 baking pan.

*Beat the cake mix, eggs, oil, milk, and 1/2 cup of the pineapple juice for 2 minutes. Spread evenly into the prepared pan.

*Pat the chopped pineapple and cherries as dry as possile and sprinkle over the batter.

*Bake for 25 - 30 minutes, until the center springs back to the touch. Cool completely. Cut into 24 squares.

*Mix the cream cheese frosting with the sanding sugar, powdered sugar, pineapple extract, and remaining 2 TBSP pineapple juice. Place into a piping bag and pipe onto the squares. 

Entertainment Comfort Zone: Secret Subject Swap

 

 

Welcome to  a Secret Subject Swap. This month 5 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. Read through mine and at the bottom you’ll find links to all of today’s other Secret Subject participants.

 

 

My subject is: Do you like rereading books or watching shows/films over and over or are you usually a one and done kind of person? Why or why not?
It was submitted by: Jenniy of Climaxed.

I'm mostly a one and done kind of girl. Both because of my genre of choice, and because of my motivation. Books, movies, and TV shows are all lumped under one umbrella, entertainment. And I take that title very seriously, I want to be entertained. I want light, don't really want to be provoked, don't want emotional turmoil. It's an escape for me and I want to enjoy, be amused.   

 

I've talked many times about loving mysteries (including my recent post, It's a Mystery). It's fun to try to figure out whodunit. And I don't read any of those supernatural mysteries, having an invisible all-knowing partner giving the protagonist answers is nothing short of cheating in my book (pun intended). So I watch and read a lot of mysteries and true crime shows, which don't really lend themselves to a second look. After all, if the fun is in figuring out the ending, knowing how it ends sort of takes away all the mystery (this pun also intended), n'est-ce pas?

My other love is, and always has been, dance, specifically ballet, but that doesn't really lend itself to reading . . .

 

In keeping with my goal of escapism, comedy is something else I'm drawn to. Comedic mysteries (Janet Evanovich, Carl Hiaasen) are among my favorites, they're light and fun and funny and I still get to guess the ending. Although I'll watch and read other genres, mystery is overwhelmingly my go-to.

 

I think because of my aversion to movies requiring emotional investment, I limit myself, and I miss out. There are movies I know I should open myself up to, ones everyone's seen and thinks are among the best, but I just can't because of the subject matter. If I have a pit of the stomach reaction to the topic, I just can't force myself to engage. The Shawshank Redemption, Schindler's List, never saw them. And there are also movies that I don't have that harsh reaction to, but that just don't particularly appeal to me. Many of these my older son has repeatedly encouraged me to watch and when I do, I've really enjoyed them (and my conversations with him afterwards). Wouldn't see them again, but am glad that I saw them once.

But not Saw. My older son has very esoteric tastes in both movies and books (and especially music, it's he who, years ago, turned me on to A Tribe Called Quest). He's open to anything and everything, which I respect immensely. His current favorite author is Phillip K. Dick, who wrote science fiction. His current favorite movie is Tumbbad, an Indian film. And a movie series he loves is Saw. I did make him a Billy the Puppet cake one Halloween, but I will not watch that movie. Although he continues to insist that I will watch it one day.

 

Just like with movies I am persuaded to see, I have the same experience when I step out of my book comfort zone. I read Philippa Gregory's British historical novel The Other Boleyn Girl and loved it, even read more of her books. 

 

I also fully admit, when discussing re-reading, that there are books that benefit from reading more than once, especially some of the classics. These are the peel-back-the-onion books that reveal more to you, both about the book and about yourself, when you read them at different times in your life. 

But, in general, nothing much changes in terms of my choices when I pick up my Kindle or turn on the TV, I'm usually looking for something new to get lost in.

That said, you know how, when you have a piece of Black Cherry Pie, and when you're done you know that it the spot? 

 

 

Black Cherry Pie 

(no bake)

For me, there are movies like that too. Ones that I've seen before that are like old friends, hit something inside me that is satisfying.

There's a social media game that goes around on a regular basis, it asks people to name their 10 all-time favorite movies that they watch over and over again. 

Here are mine (yes, I know how to count and yes, there are 11). Given all I've said, I bet some will surprise you, there are a few on here that require emotional investment, but I love them all the same. There are some I'd watch any time they're on, but others (I bet you can guess which ones) I admit I have to be in the mood for:

Dirty Dancing

Coyote Ugly 

Black Swan

The Sound of Music

Mary Poppins

The Wizard of Oz

Fried Green Tomatoes

Steel Magnolias

The Shining

Fargo

Seven

What are yours?

 

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Wandering Web Designer

Climaxed

What TF Sarah  

Part-time Working Hockey Mom

Black Cherry Pie (no bake)        

                                                             ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients: 

5 oz frozen pitted dark sweet cherries

1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs

1 TBSP brown sugar

4 TBSP butter, melted

1/2 cup cranberry juice

1 box (.3 oz) black cherry gelatin

6 oz cream cheese, room temperature

3/4 cup heavy cream

1/4 cup powdered sugar

Directions:
*Defrost the cherries and gently pat dry. Cut 6 of them in half and set aside for garnish. Coarsely chop the rest for the filling.

*Mix together the graham cracker crumbs, brown sugar, and melted butter. Grease a 9 inch pie plate and press the crumbs into the bottom and partially up the sides. Refrigerate.

*In a pan or in the microwave, heat the cranberry juice until it just starts to boil. Whisk in the jello mix and set aside.

*Whip the heavy cream until soft peaks form. Add the powdered sugar and whip until stiff peaks hold.

*In a separate bowl, beat jello with the cream cheese until smooth. Mix in one cup of the cherries. refrigerate the rest for garnish.

*Remove about 1/3 cup of the whipped cream and refrigerate in a piping bag or plastic bag for garnish. Fold the rest of the whipped cream into the cream cheese and spread evenly into the prepared crust. Refrigerate for one hour, then garnish with the reserved whipped cream and cherries.

*Store, covered, in the refrigerator.

Expressing Thanks in Twenty One Words: Word Counters

Counting my words again. 

Today my fellow Word Counters and I are sharing our monthly group post. The bloggers who are joining me this time all picked a number between 12 and 74 and sent it to me. I gave the numbers out as assignments to other bloggers who are then challenged to write something (or a few somethings, as the case may be) using that exact number of words. Today we all share what we came up with. 

I got the number 21. It was submitted by Dawn of Spatulas on Parade. As I've been doing in the past Word Counters posts, I'm picking a theme and using 21 words ten times based on my theme. The theme, since it's November and I'm looking forward to the upcoming holiday, is Thanks.

Thanks

~ There's nothing like having had months of being sick to really make you appreciate these times of feeling like yourself again.

~ There's nothing like being unable to sleep well for days and days to really make you appreciate the value of rest.

~ There's nothing like being unable to do the things you need to get done to make you appreciate even small accomplishments.  

~ There's nothing like months of missing a family member to really make you appreciate being able to just hug him again.

Cherry Sour Cream Cake

~ Although we shouldn't need a holiday to be thankful, the holiday does remind us to take the time to express it.

~ Safe at home, a roaring fire in the fireplace, smelling the turkey roasting in the oven, how can you not smile?

~ Not living near ski mountains has dimmed my appreciation of snow, yet there's beauty in a fresh clean white Fall snowfall.

~ Family's blood, that's true,
  it's more, I've learned from you.
  Once your support I knew,
 in my life, you're family too.

~ Bountiful delicious foods prepared with love, spread out on the beautifully set table, yet it's what's in the chairs that counts.

~ Thanks to you all for reading this blog, leaving me comments and interacting on my Facebook page, you keep me writing.

Here are links to the other Word Counters posts:

Spatulas on Parade

Wandering Web Designer
Sarah Nolan  
On the Border 
Messymimi’s Meanderings 

Cherry Sour Cream Cake        
                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 can cherry pie filling
1/2 tsp lemon extract
1 cup powdered sugar
1/2 cup oil
1 cup sour cream
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
3 eggs
1 cup milk
1 tsp vanilla
2 1/2 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp baking soda

OPT: maraschino cherries for decoration

Directions
*Grease and flour a bundt pan. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
*Remove 1 1/2 cups of cherry pie filling from the can. Whisk the remaining filling with the lemon extract and powdered sugar and refrigerate.
*Beat the oil, sour cream, sugar and brown sugar. Beat in the eggs, milk and vanilla.
*Starting at your lowest speed, beat in the flour, salt, baking powder and baking soda just until incorporated, then increase speed to medium and beat for 2 minutes.
*Pour evenly into prepared pan. Drop the 1 1/2 cups of cherry pie filling onto the batter, spacing evenly throughout.
*Bake for approximately 35 to 40 minutes or until the edges start to brown and the center springs back to the touch. Cool for 10 minutes in the pan before running a knife carefully around the edges and invert onto a platter.
*Cool completely.
*Remove the remaining pie filling from the refrigerator and drizzle over the cooled cake. Decorate with maraschino cherries.