Counting Teeth and Traveling Toilets: Fly on the Wall

Welcome to our monthly Fly on the Wall, a blog post written in snippets. Marcia, Diane, Sarah, and I invite you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes, at our writing desks, and in our worlds. Come on in, buzz around, see what we've been up to. Bet you laugh! 

I knew I was going to use the grill for dinner, so I went out in the morning to uncover it. I hadn't yet dressed, was only wearing a long t-shirt and my underwear, but it was really early so I didn't think twice.

The ties on the grill cover are really low. I bent down to undo one side, then went over to do the other. When I stood back up, I was mortified.

Hubs saw me coming back into the kitchen.

Hubs: What were you doing out on the deck so early?

Me: Apparently, mooning the neighbors.

And now I won't be leaving the house anytime soon. Or ever.

College boy has a day job and a side gig. The day job really was a toxic environment. He had been there over 2 years, but one day he'd just had enough and gave his notice. They tried to get him to stay, but he was done.

Within a week he had 3 offers, and we were going through the pros and cons, talking it through with him as he made his choice. We talked about the companies, the culture, the pay, and the position itself.

We were also talking about the dress codes, some companies more casual than others.

College Boy (referring to one of the companies, a drug company): Well, I won't have to worry about what I wear there, they said that they'll provide a full body hazmat suit.

Me: That one's a NO.

College Boy: But . . .

Me (interrupting him): No, nope, that's a HARD no.

I probably don't need to tell you that we're into the height of pothole season. And Hubs? He hits every single one.

We were out on a Saturday afternoon when Hubs hit what felt like a meteor crater.

Me: Oof.

Hubs: You OK?

Me (with my fingers in my mouth): mgfffthf.

Hubs (looking at me): What are you doing?
Me: Counting my teeth.

I was sitting out on my front porch when I saw this woman walk by. She was holding a rope that was attached to a tricycle that was trailing right behind her. 

And I spent the rest of the day wondering how long it was going to take her to turn around and realize that somewhere along the way she lost the kid.

College Boy had asked if he could store some stuff in our garage. I agreed that he could have one large box, but I don't want him filling that whole third garage with junk. And PurDude parks there, so when he comes to visit, he'll need to move that stuff out or to one of the storage rooms in the basement.

I was on my way out to do an errand when I saw that his box was piled high, with more stuff behind and beside it. I wasn't happy.

I was at the drug store waiting in line to pay, when he apparently had seen my car out front and came in. As he was walking towards me, I looked up:

Me (angrily): You're out of your box.

College Boy: Sorry, I'll head home.

Woman in line behind me (looking back and forth between College Boy and I) to College Boy, angrily: She keeps you in a box?

Me: Well, where do you keep your grown children?

Lemon Strawberry Refrigerator Bars

There's a page that often ends up in my FB feed that promotes unique ideas and solutions for everyday occurrences. Many of them are fascinating, or helpful. But often they're what I would call way too far off the deep end.

This one at first had me cringing, but honestly, I've been laughing ever since.

Apparently it's a genius idea for how to eat your snacks on a plane? 

Ummm, yeah, I'm gonna take a hard pass on wearing a toilet.

I've mentioned before that a few times a year, PurDude and his college friends, now scattered across the country, plan a vacation together. Mostly it's within the states, but the last one was to Japan.

My son knows that I like to have his itinerary whenever he travels. This month they were going to Seattle. A few days before leaving, he texted me:

PurDude: Here's my flight information, Mom, I leave the day after tomorrow.

Me: Can't wait to hear about the trip, are you packed?

PurDude (who does nothing in advance): No, not yet.

Me: Not surprised. Looks like it's a long fight, don't forget to bring your toilet seat on the plane.

PurDude: My toilet seat?

Me: In case you want to have a snack on the plane.

PurDude: I think you need your meds adjusted.

Me: Maybe . . .

 

Speaking of toilets. Found this cereal on the Walmart website, and I just want to say . . . well, I actually don't know what to say.

I do have a lot of questions, though.

It always surprises me when people use words just for emphasis without any thought to what they mean.

I was watching a true crime show where a woman was confronting her husband about rumors she'd heard about him cheating with a woman about half his age.

Cheater (to his wife): You think I'm cheating? With her? She's literally 100 years younger than me.

I'm pretty sure he doesn't understand the concept of "literally." 

Seriously!

The fly was witness to some sadness this month too.

I enjoy all of the friendships I've made via this blog and the social media accounts I've created in support of my writing. One of those long time virtual friends is Barb. She interacts on my Baking In A Tornado FB page daily. We're friends on our private FB accounts too, our politics and social justice views align perfectly.

I hadn't heard from her for a few days, so I sent her a PM, just checking in to be sure she was OK. Her grandson answered. She wasn't.

The next morning, I shared a post on the Baking In A Tornado page. I was careful neither to tag her page, or even to mention her last name. I didn't want to step on the family's toes.

So I shared this graphic 

and said:

"Heartbroken today after a PM conversation last night with the grandson of a woman who had been so active on this page for years. We traded silly poems every day as she responded with her own funny rhymes to all of my Connections poems. I've SO enjoyed her sharp wit, intelligence, social stance, and fun word pay. I never met her, but I will miss Barb so much. My heart goes out to her family."

That day, my post was reacted to and commented on by member of my FB page community, many people who knew Barb via interactions there. 

The second day more people reacted. When I looked at the list of names, I jolted.

Barb.

I don't know who in her family saw my post, or how they saw it, but they used her account to "like" it. After I got over the initial shock, I had a wave of sadness. 

But in the end, I smiled.

 

Now click on the links below and see what my friends have to share:

Menopausal Mother 

On the Border 

What TF Sarah

Lemon Strawberry Refrigerator Bars

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

14 lemon creme sandwich cookies, divided

14 strawberry creme sandwich cookies, divided

2 TBSP butter, chopped

1 box (3 oz) strawberry jello mix

1 box (3.4 oz) instant lemon pudding mix

OPT: 2 drops yellow food coloring

1 3/4 cups milk

1 (8 oz) package cream cheese, room temperature

3/4 cup powdered sugar, divided

3/4 cup heavy cream

OPT: lemon peel twists and a halved strawberry for garnish

Directions

*Grease an 8 X 11 baking dish.

*In a food processor, crush 6 of each of the cookie to crumbs. Set aside.

*Crush the remaining cookies with the butter until it holds together when pinched with your fingers. Press into the bottom of the baking dish. Refrigerate.

*Boil 1 cup of water. Add the strawberry jello mix and stir to dissolve. Refrigerate.

*Whisk the lemon pudding mix with the milk (and yellow food coloring, if desired) for 2 minutes. Set aside.

*Beat the cream cheese and 1/2 cup of the powdered sugar until smooth. Beat in 1 1/4 cups of the pudding.

*Separately, beat the heavy cream with the remaining powdered sugar until stiff peaks hold. Fold 1 cup of the whipped cream into the cream cheese mixture. Spread over the cookies in the baking pan, sprinkle with about 2/3 of the reserved cookie crumbs, and refrigerate for 15 minutes. 

*Remove 1/4 cup of the whipped cream and refrigerate. Fold the remaining whipped cream into the remaining lemon pudding and refrigerate separately.

*Once the lemon layer is set, whisk the reserved 1/4 cup of whipped cream into the jello. Pour evenly over the lemon layer and refrigerate for 10 minutes.

*Remove the remaining whipped cream and pudding mix from the refrigerator and spread over the jello layer. Top with the rest of the reserved cookie crumbs (and lemon peel curls and strawberry halves, if desired). Refrigerate for at least 3 hours before slicing, but overnight is best. Cover and refrigerate any leftovers. 

Moonlight Moonshine: Poetry Monday

 

Poetry Monday's once a week.

I bet you know which day.

I don't participate every time,

But today I've come out to play.

My friends assign each week a theme,

Moonshine's what they chose.

Now it's up to all of us,

to put our thoughts into prose.

 

 

Moonlight Moonshine

They'd been together forever,

she and her handsome young man.

Surely they would marry.

someday . . . when they can.

They talked about it in general,

not seriously, not quite yet,

the economy was difficult,

with money, they'd need to be set. 

But she was getting impatient,

would it ever be the time?
She'd marry him in a minute,

didn't care if they lived on a dime.

One day he broached the subject,

at least that's what she thought.

With his words he had convinced her,

and engagement ring he'd bought.

"I have something to tell you,

a decision that I've made.

It's about our future, and I

hope you won't be afraid."

"I have dinner (and dessert) for us,

then later, by moonlight,

I've someplace special to take you,

been working to make it just right."

 

Butterscotch Biscoff Dessert (no bake)

 

Holding hands, they walked together,

through the woods on that dark night.

Doubt began to niggle at her,

this just didn't seem quite right.

"Close your eyes," he told her,

when a clearing they could see,

She knew that when she opened them,

he'd be down on one knee.

"Look, no more money worries."

Her eyes opened to what . . . a still?

"Moonshine, that's the answer," he said,

" . . . though I wouldn't drink that swill."

Shock doesn't even describe it,

this is definitely no wedding vow.

"Hand me one of those cups," she said.

"I think I need some now."

 

 

 

 

Wait!

Read more poetry, 

you're not through.

Some talented writers

are in this crew:

 

On the Border

Messymimi's Meanderings 

Mother Owl 

 

Butterscotch Biscoff Dessert (no bake)         

                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe


NOTE: This dessert soft sets, so it works well served scooped out with a spoon as an option to slicing.

Ingredients:
1 box (3.5 oz) butterscotch cook and serve pudding mix

1 1/2 cups milk

5 TBSP cookie butter

2 TBSP butter

1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs

10 Biscoff cookies

8 oz cream cheese, softened

1 jar (7 oz) marshmallow creme

OPT: whipped cream for serving

Directions:
*Whisk together pudding mix and milk in a microwave safe medium sized bowl. Microwave on high for 6 - 8 minutes, whisking every 2 minutes, until it comes to a boil. Set aside for 20 minutes, vigorously whisking every 5 minutes.

*Crush the Biscoff cookies and set aside.

*Lightly grease an 8 X 11 baking dish.

*Melt the butter and cookie butter. Mix with the graham cracker crumbs until it holds together. Press into the bottom of the prepared dish and refrigerate.

*Lightly coat your beaters with non-stick spray. Beat together the softened cream cheese, marshmallow creme, and about 2/3 of the crushed cookies, then beat in the pudding mix. 

*Pour evenly into the crust. Sprinkle the remaining cookie crumbs around the edges of the filling. 

*Cover the pan (not touching the filling) with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 2 hours before slicing or scooping to serve.

*OPT: serve topped with whipped cream. 

*Store leftovers, covered, in the refrigerator.

The Ban, the Bill, and the Clowns

 

I sometimes wonder if a clown car pulls up to the capitol each weekday and all the members of the house majority pile out.

Apparently not. It seems that about a dozen far-right Freedom Caucus buffoons have commissioned a car of their own.

Let the day at the circus begin. Because one car or two, a circus is exactly what they've turned the house of representatives into.

Exhibit one. An incident from just one month ago:

The back story:

The whole issue started to come to light at the end of 2022, when an international study showed that gas stoves emit pollutants that can damage our lungs and increase the risk of, and exacerbate, childhood asthma.

The Consumer Protection Safety Commission (enacted by congress in 1972 but run as an independent agency), admits to have been considering action, but clarifies that any regulations would only apply to new products. 

Some states have banned the installation of gas stoves, but in new homes only. The CPSC has specifically stated that they are not "coming for anyone's gas stoves." When asked, a White House spokesperson stated that Biden does not support banning gas stoves. 

Facts aside (as usual), the republicans went wild. Angry speeches included fiery rants the likes of: the dems want to take away your kitchens! They're coming for your stoves! Even your appliances aren't safe!

Children are dying at alarming rates due to gun violence, but . . . priorities. Fearful that the American people are on the brink of a severely limited edible future consisting of cold salads for dinner and no bake desserts, the House went right to work. 

Jelled Strawberry Tarts

So . . . 

The Consumer Protection Safety Commission is not the federal government and has suggested no bans. And the White House has specifically stated that the president is not in favor of a ban. But you can never be too careful when it comes to the protection of our children appliances. The house republicans drafted a bill.

The "Gas Stove Protection and Freedom Act," would block the federal government from banning gas stoves.

Because our great country needs to protect the rights of trans citizens gas stoves to exist. And be free. What does that look like, anyway, free gas stoves? If they're not happy with their current situation, can they, like, consider employment elsewhere? Form a union? Demand days off, maybe?

 

Since the republicans control the house, you'd expect the bill to pass easily, right?

Not so fast. Remember that second clown car?

About a dozen republicans blocked the bill from advancing.

Why? 

Just a week before, the house speaker entered into a deal with the President to raise the debt ceiling. As has always been done in the past, it was necessary to allow the United States to pay our bills, not default, not crash our economy, and not drastically lower our credit rating.

And for brokering that deal, the speaker had to be punished.

So they stopped the bill.

That would block the ban.

That wasn't happening anyway.

Send in the clowns? They're already here.

Jelled Strawberry Tarts         

                                                                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
9 mini graham cracker pie crusts

1 box (3 oz) strawberry jello mix

4 strawberries

1 container (5.3 oz) strawberry yogurt

OPT: whipped cream and/or additional strawberries for serving

Directions:
*Dissolve the jello powder in 1 cup boiling water. Set aside.

*Core and chop 3 of the strawberries. Place in the bottom of the pie crusts. Add 1 TBSP of the jello to each, set aside the remaining jello and refrigerate the crusts for 20 minutes.

*Remove the crusts from the refrigerator. Whisk the yogurt into the reserved jello. Core, chop, and mix in the remaining strawberry. 

*Pour evenly into the crusts and refrigerate again for at least 45 minutes.

*OPT: garnish with whipped cream and/or additional strawberries for serving.

Better Late

 

The early bird catches the worm.

Better late than never.

Old (ancient, actually) sayings with a valid point to make.

Well, let me just say now that I'm not really interested in first dibs on any worms. Early, late, or anywhere in between.

But lilacs? Now that's a different story. And it's through lilacs that I've come to tweak "better late than never," to just plain "better late." Because, it turns out, late is a great way to get the best of both worlds.

I love lilacs and, if you go by the number of lilac trees you see up and down the streets of our neighborhood, I'm hardly alone. It's not just their beauty, but their unmistakable floral scent. My lilacs are just outside the window in my stairwell, and when the window is open, and they're in bloom, I can smell them before I see them.

Lilacs have come to represent spring, as they bloom early. Well, everyone's but mine, that is. 

Most people who I know have lilac trees. I don't. When we were adding to our landscaping, I found some lilac shrubs. I hadn't heard of them before, but I fell in love. We planted the little bushes along the west side of our house and hoped for the best.

At first I was disappointed. Early spring came along and everyone's lilac trees were blooming. But not my little shrubs. I do have a neighbor who knows that I love lilacs and every year when her lilac tree blooms she brings me a bouquet.

Eventually my lilac bushes bloomed. And grew. And grew. 

I don't know if it's that they're shrubs and not trees. I don't know if it's the side of the house where we planted them. I do know this, every year Lisa brings me a bouquet in the early spring. Which makes me so happy because all I have along the side of my house is big, bushy, but totally green shrubs.

I'm almost always on time, and I tend, by nature, to be an impatient person. But not with the lilacs.

Because then, when everyone else's lilacs have ceased to bloom, I get flowers. Lots and lots of flowers. 

Turns out, late is so much better.

Spring is also a time for ice cream. After a long, cold winter, this treat makes its debut again around my house as soon as the heat gets turned off. Lately, I've been making a lot of ice cream, ice cream pies, and this ice cream cake.

Strawberry Fudge Ice Cream Cake

I took the first picture in this post just as I'd unmolded and decorated the frozen cake. This second picture though, well, taking pictures, getting it just how you want it, takes time. And in that time, ice cream does what ice cream does, it melts.

The picture may have come out a little meltier than I would have liked, as pictures go, it was taken a little later in the whole photography process. But I happen to like my ice cream a little melty.

So . . . better late . . . 

Strawberry Fudge Ice Cream Cake         

                                                                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 (48 oz) container strawberry ice cream

1 jar (about 12 oz) hot fudge sauce

6 strawberry sandwich cookies

6 chocolate sandwich cookies

1/4 cup strawberry jam

2 fresh strawberries

OPT: fresh sliced strawberries for garnish

Directions:
*Using a large piece of plastic wrap, cover the insides of a loaf pan, allowing the ends of the wrap to fall outside of the pan (to assist in removing later).

*Place about 2 cups of the ice cream in a large bowl on the counter for about 10 minutes to soften. Chop the strawberry sandwich cookies.

*Mix the chopped cookies into the ice cream, spread into the bottom of the prepared pan and freeze for 30 minutes.

*Remove 2 TBSP fudge sauce and set aside. Spread half of the remaining sauce over the ice cream layer in the pan and freeze for 1/2 hour.

*Place another 2 cups of the ice cream in a large bowl on the counter for about 10 minutes to soften. Chop the chocolate cookies.

*Mix the chopped chocolate cookies into the softened ice cream, spread onto the fudge layer and freeze for 30 minutes.

*Spread the other half of the remaining fudge sauce over the ice cream layer in the pan and freeze for 1/2 hour.

*Place the last of the ice cream in a large bowl on the counter for about 10 minutes to soften. Hull the strawberries and chop.

*Mix the strawberries and the strawberry jam into the ice cream and spread into the pan. Freeze until hard frozen, its best to freeze overnight.

*Run a knife between the plastic wrap and the pan. Use the overlapping plastic wrap to help you remove the ice cream cake from the pan. 

*Garnish with fresh strawberries, if desired, drizzle with the reserved fudge sauce. 

*Wrap any remaining cake and store in freezer.