Absolutes

 

Absolutes. 

Clear, unequivocal, immovable and inflexible. They are the foundation, serve to define the boundaries and provide structure.

I play Sudoku. Well, I play a lot of games, mostly word games. I post my results to my Baking In A Tornado FB page twice a day, and anyone who chooses to share adds their results to the threads.

Sudoku is different. This is one I just play myself, don't share anywhere. It's fun for analytical, organized, left-brained me. There is a daily game option, and every morning I get to see what the game has in store for me, sometimes they're difficult, sometimes not so much, but I let them choose. 

And then I play until I get it, until I win that day's game.

BUT, the only way to win is to accept the absolutes.

They are the rules, of course, and there are a few of them. The first is your roadmap and the second is your mandate. You can look at them as limitations. But they also provide structure, without those clearly defined parameters, there would be chaos, no hints, no clues, no direction. You're given a board with numbers already in some of the spaces. You cannot change them. And only one number will be correct for each open space. Figure it out.

In this current social climate of blurring the lines, fighting the rules, cheating to win or blaming the game, all of that falls on deaf (since games don't have any) ears. You can take it to the Supreme Court if you want (who knows what kinds of cases they'd be willing to hear these days), but it will change nothing. The rules are the rules. The absolutes are clearly defined and if your goal is to win, they must be respected.

If you want to play, you choose between winning and spinning (your wheels).

 

As we all light our grills this 4th of July, prepare to feast and to celebrate with friends and family, I hope we all take the time to think. 

Grilled Apricot Mustard Pork

Not just about food and fireworks, or even independence, but what the loss of independence, the fall into autocracy, really means. And not just for us, but all who came before us, those who have, and who continue to fight for our freedoms. 

Freedom is the game, and it's a democratic republic for the win. The only way to play is if we, as a country, can get back to respecting the absolutes.

"We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator, with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness . .  ." 

    ~ Preamble to the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson, 1776

"Congress shall make no law respecting the establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances." 

    ~ First Amendment to the Constitution, James Madison, lead author, 1791

" . . . that these dead shall not have died in vain . . . that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth." 

    ~ Gettysburg Address, Abraham Lincoln, 1863

That's where we need to start. Absolutely.

Grilled Apricot Mustard Pork         

                                                                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 approximately 2# pork tenderloin

1/4 cup apricot preserves

1 TBSP sweet hot mustard

3 TBSP stone ground mustard 

2 TBSP white wine

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

1/4 tsp cumin

Directions:
*Rinse the pork tenderloin, pat dry, trim and cut into approximately 3/4 inch medallions. Place into a gallon sized plastic bag.

*Whisk together the apricot preserves, both mustards, wine, salt, pepper, and cumin. Pour into the bag and manipulate to be sure all of the meat is covered. Seal and refrigerate for at least 4 hours, up to a day.

*Place the medallions onto a grill, heated to medium. Discard any remaining marinade in the bag. 

*NOTE: pork needs to be cooked to at least 145 degrees. How long your medallions take to cook will depend on the heat of your grill and the thickness of your slices.

*Cook for about 7 minutes, flip over, and cook another approximately 7 minutes. Continue cooking if the 145 degree minimum heat has not been achieved.

Liver Cake and Lies

Lies don’t matter. They did when I was growing up. Or maybe that’s just a lie my mother told me?

But one thing's for sure, they certainly don’t matter now. In fact, they’d become so prevalent, especially in our politics, that just as many believe them as those of us who seek out the truth, use logic, see them for the blatant manipulation that they are.

There seems to be some kind of contest going on, who can get away with the most absurd lie. And although there are a lot of front runners (it’s been neck and neck for years now) with trump barely leading the way, seems he’s being pushed aside. George Santos is currently in the lead. Which is impressive considering that the rest of the party cult seems to live by the watchword “no lie is too small, no lie is too large.” 

My only hope is that prize for winning is a room with bars on the door.

But listen, I’ve tried to be an honest person, and mostly succeeded, I think. But if our current culture is a no-hold-barred, throw out that filter and let ‘em rip lie fest, I may just try out a few. You know, in the name of science (well, if you’re one of the few people who still believe in science).

So, in keeping with what is apparently the new Golden Rule "lie unto others as you have seen others lie unto you," here goes:

 

To the family:

~ I just got home but sure, I'll do the laundry, you’ll have plenty of clean underwear in the morning.

Followed the next day by:

~ No, those shorts aren’t see-through, I can’t at all tell you had to go commando today.

 

~ That isn't Cheetos dust around my mouth, it's a new makeup I'm trying. Yes, on my fingers too.

~ I'm not still upset about our argument, and no, I haven't seen the remote to the TV down in your man cave.

~ I was just about to take pictures for the blog, but sure, go ahead and try the cake, I made it for an April Fools blog post, there's a little bit of chopped liver and barely a hint of onion, let me know what you think.

 

Pineapple Cake with Dark Cherries

 

 

To no one and every one:

 

~ I have no problem with people giving away the ending of a book in their book reviews. 

~ Go ahead and pretend you didn't see your dog using my lawn as a toilet. You're actually doing me a favor. After all, it's free fertilizer.

~ Politicians should not be held accountable when their lies threaten the life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness of Americans. After all, it's in the job description.

 

~ What was in the minds of our forefathers, when writing the constitution, was that the right to bear arms not be intended as a means to defend our country, but to ensure the freedom of future citizens to carry assault weapons into schools, grocery stores, and movie theaters. 

~ Lies in particular, and dishonesty in general, help build a cohesive, healthy, productive society. 

I may have choked on that last one. 

 

OK, I may not quite be up to the task of being the new front runner.

That's alright, I didn't want to spend the next few years in a room with an exposed toilet, anyway.

And as much as lying may have provided momentary amusement, none of my lies had any real, life altering impact. No one's grandma died while I was vehemently, publicly denying the existence of a deadly virus.

But they were still lies, still meant, not so much to manipulate, but to deceive. And in the end, they are harmful, even if only to my own self-esteem.

Truth.

Pineapple Cake with Dark Cherries         

                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
7 frozen pitted dark cherries

1 can (8 oz) pineapple chunks

1 box yellow cake mix

3 eggs

1/2 cup oil

1/2 cup milk

1/2 cup pineapple juice

1 can (16 oz) cream cheese frosting

2 TBSP yellow sanding sugar, 

1 TBSP powdered sugar, 

1/2 tsp pineapple extract

2 TBSP pineapple juice

Directions:

*Chop the cherries and thaw on paper towels.

*Drain the pineapple well, chop (don't shred), and place on paper towels.

*Grease and flour a 9 X 13 baking pan.

*Beat the cake mix, eggs, oil, milk, and 1/2 cup of the pineapple juice for 2 minutes. Spread evenly into the prepared pan.

*Pat the chopped pineapple and cherries as dry as possile and sprinkle over the batter.

*Bake for 25 - 30 minutes, until the center springs back to the touch. Cool completely. Cut into 24 squares.

*Mix the cream cheese frosting with the sanding sugar, powdered sugar, pineapple extract, and remaining 2 TBSP pineapple juice. Place into a piping bag and pipe onto the squares. 

Polished Authenticity: Secret Subject Swap

 

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This month 5 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. Read through mine and at the bottom you’ll find links to all of today’s other Secret Subject participants.

My subject is: Are your social media and actual selves fairly congruent, or do you present a much more polished version of your life and relationships?
It was submitted by: Jenniy of Climaxed.
 

 

There is so much to unpack here, I'm having a hard time deciding where to start, and although all of what this brings to mind is salient, I'm desperately attempting to sort through and edit my thoughts so I don't go on forever. I think I could.

 

A lot of what I want to say applies to not just social media but my blog. A blog isn't considered to be in the realm of social media, but I can argue that in many ways, it is. 

 

The most simplistic answer to this question is that my social media presence is both congruent with AND a more polished version of my life and relationships. It's congruent with because otherwise I'd just be posting pure fiction. It's polished because, and this is my most important point, I believe it should be.

 

I publish a lot of food pics and recipes, I guess I don't have to tell you that, both here, and in support of this blog, as a vast majority of my social media posts. Obviously these represent me, how I express creativity and how I control stress. 

Caprese Chicken Kabobs

 

But completely unlike most "food bloggers" (I put that in quotes because I don't feel like I fit that category), I don't really write about the food, the process that brought about the conceptualization of that recipe, and the experience of trying it and perfecting it. That's because I choose to have more to say than just food. I want to write fiction, humor, poetry (OK, in my case that word is used loosely), life, relationships, struggles, politics, social issues, parenting adults . . .

And it's in these blog and social media posts that I see the need to edit. Polish? Maybe. But edit, definitely. It's here that I find myself most comfortable living in the grey between truth and the whole truth.

 

 

 

I censure myself for the sake of others. I know that many people don't agree with this approach, feeling that editing makes you inauthentic. I can see their point, but I can also tell you that it has to be a personal decision. 

 

When I first started blogging, and immersing myself in social media, I saw two things play out that solidified my resolve. First, two friends, on twitter, were talking about very personal situations within their familial relationships. Their specificity may have been pertinent to the conversation, may very well have been something they considered necessary in the context of their personal commitment to being genuine and real (the good, the bad, and the ugly), but to me it was cringe worthy. Embarrassing. 

 

The second situation was what, at the time, was a social media fad, calling your kids assholes. 

 

I am never going to have intimate personal discussions on a public forum, and I am never going to call my kid an asshole there either.

 

What you put out there cannot be taken back. We all know this. This is particularly important because tangential people not only in the present (our kids' teachers or their friends' parents, our spouse's family members or their coworkers) but also in the future (our kids themselves) can find whatever it is we've said. Any of it. All of it. 

 

I write a monthly Fly on the Wall blog post. It's snippets of humorous family conversations and situations. Are they the truth? Yes. Are they the whole truth? Not always.  

And I have a blog post that I wrote many years ago. It still sits in my drafts after all these years. It's a huge piece of my story, and I think it's well written. I think that because it's real and it's raw, it's 100% honest, and it's impactful. But it's someone else's story as well. He actually gave me permission, back then, to publish it. I never have. Mostly because I'm cognizant of the fact that one day, maybe even today, he won't want it out there. And I won't be able to take it back. Just thinking about the ramifications of that situation is more than I can bear.

 

So no, I don't make up social media posts (or blog posts unless they're meant to be fiction) out of thin air, nor do I polish a negative situation to transform it to be a positive one. If there is something I want to say that I cannot comfortably tell enough of to make my point, it goes on the back burner until I can work it through more thoroughly, find a way to make it authentic without divulging information that could impact someone I care about. That could ultimately change their ability to trust me.

 

Ultimately, the stability of our most valued relationships could hinge on the level of sensitivity and respect with which we edit the information we share in the public realm of social media.

Due to the interwoven nature of the connections inherent in our personal stories, there is a very thin line, in our public social media lives, that we all have to walk. Where we choose to step needs to be a purposeful and thoughtful decision.

 

The truth, the whole truth? There is no obligation inherent in being honest that requires telling the whole truth. Authenticity lies not in divulging the entire process, but rather in validity, expression devoid of deceit.

 

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver 

Climaxed

What TF Sarah 

Part-time Working Hockey Mom

Caprese Chicken Kabobs        

                                                                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1/3 cup olive oil

3 TBSP balsamic vinegar

1/4 salt

1/8 pepper

1/2 tsp garlic powder

2 tsp Italian seasoning

2 chicken breasts, boneless, skinless

6 oz grape tomatoes

5 oz mozzarella balls

fresh basil leaves

Directions:
*Whisk together the olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt, pepper, garlic powder, and Italian seasoning. Set aside.

*Cut the chicken into bite sized chunks. Place in a resealable gallon sized plastic bag. Add about 3/4 of the prepared dressing, seal the bag, massage to be sure all of the chicken is coated. Refrigerate for 2 - 4 hours, turning now and then. Cover the remaining dressing and refrigerate.

*Preheat your grill to a medium heat (about 350 degrees).

*If using wooden skewers, be sure to soak them before using. Remove the chicken from the marinade and thread onto the skewers. Cook on the grill for 8 minutes.

*Gently mix the tomatoes with the reserved dressing.

*Once the chicken has cooked for 8 minutes, turn over. Skewer the tomatoes and add to the grill. Cook the tomatoes, turning once, and the chicken, for about another 8 minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through.

*Remove the chicken and tomatoes from the skewers. Mix with the mozzarella balls. Serve topped with fresh basil, chopped or torn.