March in March: Fly on the Wall

 

Welcome to our monthly Fly on the Wall, a blog post written in snippets. Marcia, Diane, and I invite you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes, at our writing desks, and in our worlds. Come on in, buzz around, see what we've been up to. Bet you laugh! 

February was finally over, the first day of March was here and I was excited. It had been a cold windy February, well, with a few very weird, almost hot day thrown in there just to keep us on our toes. I was more than ready for the month in which Spring would officially start.

On that day, I decided to play a joke on Hubs. I filled the coffee pot (yes, we still use a coffee pot) with root beer. Once it was flat, it looked like coffee.

Hubs (spitting his "coffee" into the sink): What the hell?
Me: April fools!

Hubs: That's next month!

Me: Caught you off guard, didn't I? 

It's no secret that I watch a lot of Boston sports. Not only am I a big fan of my home teams, but as an added bonus, the announcers are often as entertaining as the game.

Watching a Bruins hockey game in the late afternoon, I started laughing. Hubs was there, but paying more attention to his cell than to the game.

Hubs: What's so funny?

Me: How much do these announcers get paid?
Hubs: Probably a lot, why?
Me: I think I could do that job.

Hubs: What makes you think that?
Me: The brilliant statistical insight from this announcer.

Hubs: What did he say?
Me: As you know, the Bruins are up 1 - 0 in the third quarter. The announcer just told us that in this season, when the Bruins are ahead by 1 in the third quarter they either win . . . or they lose.

Hubs: You should send in an application.

I've talked a few times, at this time of year, about how much damage woodpeckers do to the side of our house. When we hear them, we have to keep running outside and shooing them away, but they still do a lot of damage.

A couple of weeks ago, I heard them on the side of the house for the first time since last year. I yelled to Hubs, who went outside to scare him off.

Me: Oh, no, here we go again, thousands of dollars worth of damage.

Hubs: Every spring, they come out of the woods and attack the houses along the woods line.

Me: Listen, you better go out there and have a talk with him?

Hubs: What would you like me to tell him?

Me: That we set our clocks forward, not our calendars

Hubs: Huh?

Me: It's only March 6, there are 13 more days until spring. The least he can do is abide by the rules of engagement.

Hubs: I'll be sure to mention that. Don't get your hopes up, though.

College Boy had decided he was hungry at about 10:30 pm. There were some leftover wings in the fridge so he stuck them in the air fryer. 

He came upstairs, Hubs was sleeping and I was reading my Kindle.

College Boy: Mom, I need you to come downstairs.

Me: No, I'm in bed, I'm warm, and I'm comfortable, just tell me what you want.

College Boy: I need to show you.

Me (exasperated): Just tell me.

College Boy (sounding exasperated with me): Fine. A big flash, sparks, I got shocked . . .

I had no idea I could still run that fast. I need to try out for the Olympic track team.

Me: Love you.

Hubs: Love you more.

Me: Always.

Hubs: 24/7, 365.

Me: Well, that's hurtful, but I guess it's best I know.

Hubs: What?
Me: Apparently, there's a day I'm unloved.

Hubs: What do you mean. I said 365?

Me: It's a leap year.

Apple Jelly Ham & Cheese

I was sitting at the desk in the kitchen. I keep a large calendar there, with everyone's schedule on it, each with our own color ink. I could not figure out why the schedules weren't working out. Then I finally figured out I hadn't switched over, and was looking at February.

Me (yelling): March!

I hadn't realized that at that moment, Hubs had come upstairs from the man cave. He turns the corner and walks into the kitchen, high stepping, with a confused look on his face.

Hubs: Well fine, I'll march, but I'm getting old, not sure how long I can keep this up.

I thought about telling him I was actually talking about the month, but watching him try to keep that marching thing up was just too much fun.

 

My mom has a few friends who she's known all her life. Obviously, my sister and I know them too.

One of them, a man in his 90s, friended me on FB years ago. And although he joined, and obviously he tries, he doesn't seem to get it. Often he will post something to his wall that is clearly meant just for one person, seemingly part of a conversation they were having. 

Usually, I just ignore it and move on. But last week he made a particularly confusing post to his wall.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's not how this works.

Hubs printed out a March Madness basketball bracket for me to fill out. Out of all the teams, I only follow one, Purdue, so . . . let's just say I don't pick game winners the way most people do. It's more a matter of states I like or I've been to, or don't whole heartedly supposrt a rapist for president.

Me: I filled out my bracket. It'll make sense to no one but me.

Hubs: Pretty much everything you say makes sense to no one but you.

Me: Hey! That's mean.

Hubs: And true . . .

Me: And true.

We'd had a few warm days, and Hubs and I had been outside getting a head start on weeding in the gardens one Saturday morning.

That afternoon, we were in the den and heard a very loud noise.

Me: What is that? Sounds like it's coming from out back.

Hubs: Sounds like a chainsaw.

Me (looking out the back window): That crazy woman next door is out back weeding her garden with a chainsaw.

Hubs: You're kidding.

Me: No, she's just chopping all of her flowers and plants down.

Hubs: You should go tell her that's not how this weeding thing works.

Me: Have you recently taken out more life insurance out on me? 

Hubs (looking confused): No. Why would you ask me that?

Me: Well, let me tell you now, I'm not going out there and telling her what to do. Not on a good day, but certainly not when she's holding a chainsaw.

Our trash pickup is every Monday, but the recycle is picked up every other Monday. The day after it had been picked up, I noticed that the neighbor's trash can had been brought in, but his recycle bin was at the curb.

Me: I wonder why they have their recycle bin at the curb?

Hubs: Maybe they think it's Monday. 

On Wednesday:
Me: That's so strange, their recycle bin is still sitting at the curb.

Hubs: Maybe they think it's Monday.

This went on, on Thursday, and Friday, and Saturday, and Sunday. Now, I'm not saying I don't get days confused myself, but I've never thought every day was Monday.

Then on Monday:

Me: They brought their trash can out today, like the rest of us, but their recycle bin is still there.

Hubs: Well, it is Monday.

Me: I'll give them that. But it's the wrong Monday.

Hubs: Maybe they're just playing the odds, it'll be the right day eventually.

Me: Ah . . . the old "a broken clock is right . . ." strategy.

Hubs: Either that or the "hell with it, I'm too lazy to keep dragging it in and out" strategy. 

I know Hubs can relate to that one.

 

Now click on the links below and see what my friends have to share:

Menopausal Mother 

On the Border

Apple Jelly Ham & Cheese

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients (makes 2):

8 slices leftover spiral sliced ham (can use thick sliced deli ham)

1/3 cup apple jelly

1 TBSP sweet hot mustard

4 slices seeded rye bread

4 slices baby Swiss cheese

1 TBSP butter

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 225 degrees. Wrap the ham in tin foil and heat in the oven for 15 minutes.

*Whisk together the apple jelly and sweet hot mustard. Spread evenly onto the 4 slices of bread. Add a slice of Swiss on top of each.

*Remove the warm ham from the oven. Construct the sandwiches by dividing the ham onto 2 slices of the bread. Top with the last 2 slices, cheese side down.

*Heat the butter over medium heat in a large skillet. Add the sandwiches side by side, and heat, pressing them down with a spatula now and then, until the bottom is browned.

*Lower the temperature a notch, flip the sandwich over and cook, pressing down lightly now and then, until the other side has browned. Serve warm.