I Know What You've Done

Naivete. Innocent naivete. It never goes well. Or maybe I watch too much ID TV. Twenty four hour murder mysteries must have a cumulative effect. But one day about a month ago I found myself living the fear.

It always seems to start with some guileless dolt happily living their life, as if the next shoe ever doesn't fall. I have no excuse, I watch the aforementioned ID TV with regularity, I should know better than to sit on the couch with my back to the door naively anticipating . . . anything.


It was the day before PurDude was coming home and I'd been texting with him and finalizing plans. He'd only be home for 10 days this summer so I was planning to make the most of every minute. Treats were made, clean sheets were on his bed, towels laid out. He'd be home for dinner tomorrow so I had bought some Turkey Cutlets.

Lemon Cranberry Crispy Turkey Cutlets  

Of course, if you've read my recent post Don't EVER Say, you know he didn't end up home until 10:30pm, but that's another story and I've already told it.

Moving on . . .

As I said, I had been texting with him earlier and was, a few hours later, working on my laptop and happily anticipating hugging my boy when I heard the ding of another text coming in. I smiled, thinking it was PurDude again. It wasn't. It was from a local number, but one I didn't recognize. And not at all what I expected a text to say.

First thing I thought was "oh crap, what did I do and who knows it?" 

Guilty much?

Then I thought the obvious. I Know What You Did Last Summer. I've been transported into a slasher movie. Great. I'll probably hate being cut to ribbons.

Before I had time for any rational thoughts (and to cancel my subscription to ID TV), the phone dinged again.

OK, this can't be good. What exactly does someone know and how much will their silence cost? Lets see, I gave Hubs' favorite old shirt to Goodwill and claimed to have no idea where it is. How much will keeping that secret set me back? Oh, or what about that new purse I bought and hid in the closet? The joint hidden in my jewelry box? The . . .  jeez, it could be anything.

What the hell. I'll just bluff. After all, they may have my cell number but it's not like they can actually find me.

Holy crap {{frantically looks around}}, can they see me? Are there cameras in the house? A drone outside my window? Someone do that thing I heard you can do with laptops where you can watch people? Obama put a camera in my microwave (didn't Trump say he could do that?). Damn, I shouldn't have taken my bra off.

And bra-less.

Suddenly it clicks. I've been transported to a whole new movie, When a Stranger Calls. I know that attitude (and texting without apostrophes, knowing that drives me crazy, that clinches it). The reality has become very clear and hits hard, "the calls are coming from within the house".


College Boy is upstairs and I've met this kid before so I call him down.

Me: You?
College Boy: Yeah, me.
Me: I don't know that phone number, it's not yours.
College Boy: How am I going to get you to pay me if you recognize my number?

So yeah, looks like I got lucky, I won't be slashed to ribbons after all. And he's agreed to stop terrorizing his gullible loving mom. Well, after he gets paid. 

Not what he wanted but I negotiated him down to dinner and a load of laundry.

Groundhog Day, anyone?

Lemon Cranberry Crispy Turkey Cutlets         
                                    ©www.BakingInATornado.com

 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
1# turkey cutlets 
1 egg
1 cup seasoned bread crumbs
4 TBSP butter, divided
2 TBSP olive oil

2 TBSP white wine
1/2 tsp dried tarragon
salt and pepper
1/3 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup cranraisins
2 slices of lemon, remove seeds and cut in half


Directions:
*Prepare the turkey cutlets, without the sauce, as per this recipe: Turkey Cutlets with Raspberry Sauce. Set aside and keep warm.
*In the same large frying pan, melt the remaining 2 TBSP butter over medium heat. Add the white wine, tarragon, salt and pepper. Stir, scraping all the scraps from the bottom of the pan.
*Add the heavy cream, cranraisins and lemon slices. Bring to a boil and allow to boil for three minutes.
*To serve, place the turkey cutlets on a serving platter, spoon sauce over the top.