Sarcasm is Dead. Long Live Delusion.

 

 

 

Sarcasm is dead. And I, for one, am in mourning.

Yes, sarcasm, that biting, witty, humorous use of irony in speech has officially been rendered mute. Now isn't that ironic?

This is a big deal. Sarcasm has probably saved my life, has most definitely saved the lives of those around me. It's my coping mechanism of choice, most likely always has been, but at the very least since birth (my kids, not mine). But now, if I can't even maintain (yeah, I said maintain, fight me) sanity (OK, and find joy) in making others look foolish, what do I have left {{sob}}?

 

Here's the thing about sarcasm, it depends on the absurd being . . . you know . . . absurd. But at this moment in history, reality is not real, rationalism is not rational. How can you parody truth when there is no truth? Truth is now lies and lies are now truth. Your time has come kids, every day is opposite day. Delusion reigns supreme.

And don't you dare "keep calm and blah, blah, blah" me, the sky is falling, dammit. The pigs have taken wing.

If only closed minds came with closed mouths, but no such luck. It's trump's delusion and we're all living in it.

So the next time your kids ask you to get out of your sick bed at 6:00 in the morning to make them cookie bars because they ate all of the cupcakes for breakfast, here's what you can't say:

French Vanilla Cookie Bars (Halloween decorated)

Sure, I'll do that when . . .

a moron convinces half the country that he's a stable genius. 

or 

the "president" of the United States tells people to vote twice. 

or

the Attorney General says that he doesn't know the voting laws. 

or 

we rip babies from their moms and put them is cages. 

or   

wind farms cause cancer. 

or    

we recommend shooting up Lysol.   

or

the US "president" says he's fallen in love with a brutal North Korean dictator.

or    

the White House press secretary addresses the press without a mask, after many of her colleagues have been diagnosed with a deadly virus.   

or   

the "president" puts Secret Service in jeopardy because, like a selfish toddler, he wants to go for a car ride while he's infectious. 

 

If you thought the possibility of bird poop landing on your shoulder was bad, put on your helmet and check in with air traffic control my friends, because the swine are officially airborne. I repeat: the swine are airborne.

There's nothing left for us to do. Sarcasm is dead, the peaceful transfer of power is required. Long live delusion.

VOTE.

French Vanilla Cookie Bars (Halloween decorated)        

                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 package sugar cookie mix
1 package French Vanilla pudding mix
1/2 cup butter, softened
2 TBSP French Vanilla creamer
2 eggs
OPT: 2 drops of red food coloring and 2 drops of yellow food coloring
1/4 cup multicolored sprinkles

OPT: decorating gel and/or holiday sprinkles to embellish

Directions:
*Grease an 8 X 11 baking pan. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
*Mix together the sugar cookie mix, pudding mix, butter, creamer, eggs, and food coloring (if using). Fold in the multicolored sprinkles.
*Spread evenly into the prepared baking pan. Bake for about 30 minutes until the edges start to brown and the center is set.
*Cool completely. Decorate as desired.