The Donuts and the Box: Fly on the Wall

 

Welcome to our monthly Fly on the Wall, a blog post written in snippets. Marcia, Diane, and I invite you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes, at our writing desks, and in our worlds. Come on in, buzz around, see what we've been up to. Bet you laugh! 

PurDude texts me every day, just a quick check in. Monday through Friday, it's at around 11:00 am, and on the weekends, it's when he gets out of bed, around 4:30 pm (unless he's going skiing).

It was afternoon on a weekday and I hadn't heard from him. So I texted him, just a quick "how are you?"

PurDude: I'm sorry, I was tied up with meetings this morning. I didn't expect you to get so angry.

Angry? I kept reading his response, why did he think I was angry? And then I read my initial text to him, and saw the added "d." Apparently I hadn't texted "how are you?" I'd texted "how dare you?"

We'd been watching a baseball game when a player who hadn't played for a while due to injury came up to bat.

Hubs: He looks really little.

Me: Yeah, he's short.

Hubs: You're on your laptop, Google his height.

Me: He's 5'8".

A little later, another player came up to bat.

Hubs: He looks really little too.

Me: He isn't tall, but he doesn't look as short as the last guy, I bet he's 5'11" or so.

Hubs: I guess so, maybe around 5'`10". Google him and see how tall he is.

I do. And start to laugh.

Hubs: What's so funny.

Me: Either everyone's 5'8", or Google thinks everyone's 5'8".

Another night, another Sox game, and this time the Sox were on a losing streak. During the game, the announcer addressed the situation:

Announcer: Before the game, Cora (the manager) was trying anything to change their luck. He was even seen in the dugout beating the monster.

Me: What??? That's X rated, they can't say that on TV.

Hubs: Say what?
Me: That Cora was . . . you know . . . beating the monster in the dugout.

Hubs: Feeding. He was feeding the mascot head. 

Me (in my best Rosanne Rosenadanna voice): Oh. Never mind.

So, here's the story. The Red Sox mascot is Wally the Green Monster (named for the famous the monster sized green wall in Fenway Park). This year, there has been a large mascot head in the dugout. When a player gets a home run, he puts on the head and walks through the dugout.

Apparently, before this particular game, Cora was throwing food into the large open mouth on the Wally head. I guess sort of like making an offering to the gods.

And as strange as this may be, it's a whole lot better than what I thought he was doing.

I was trying out a new recipe. It wasn't mine, something I'd seen online. The recipe was pretty vague, giving the basics, but no specifics, allowing for interpretation. 

 

I prepared the chicken as per the recipe, then mixed the 3 ingredients specified for the topping, but from there, it was up to me. I chose what I wanted to enhance the sauce with, spread it on the chicken and put it in the oven.

 

I was hopeful, but as it cooked, I started to have my reservations. Then Hubs walked in the door and said the quiet part out loud.

 

Hubs: What smells like armpits?
Me: That would be dinner.

 

Dinner was OK. Not bad, but I wouldn't make it again. Dessert though, the Apple Crumble Tartlets were delish! 

Apple Crumble Tartlets

This is a perfect example of hedging your bets.

Hubs looks at the weather report and swears by it. I'm more skeptical, following years of seeing meteorologists frequently getting it wrong, and because I can get more viable information by just . . . you know . . . looking out the window.

So weather reports, for me, are either mostly confirmation of what's going on outside or, often, a way to get a good laugh.

Like today.

It's really cloudy outside, getting cooler, feels like a storm is going to come through. It's 8:00 am, and I look at the weather report, which both tells me that the chance of rain is 90%, and the UV index shows I should wear sunscreen from 9:00 am to 6:00 pm.

Sorry guys, you kinda can't have it both ways.

Although I could end up having another chuckle if Hubs lathers up in sunscreen to go out in the rain.

I love those little Dunkin' munchkins. Hubs, every now and then will come home in the morning with a box of them. I think it's great that you can pick which flavors you want and how many of each. It's like a mini donut smorgasbord.

Hubs is an intelligent guy, but handy, he is not. That may be an understatement.

Exhibit one:

He cannot work the munchkin box. 

And honestly, I'm not sure what's more fun, being surprised with the Dunkin' treats, or watching him trying to figure out how to close the box.

I guess I've got my puzzle games, and he's got his.

 

So . . . donuts . . .

Once again, I was trying a recipe that wasn't mine. It was for donut twists made in the air fryer, and without yeast. I'd made baked donuts before (Vanilla Glazed Baked Coffee Donuts, Baked Caramel Apple Donuts, Baked Chocolate Lovers' Donuts, Baked Cinnamon Carrot Donuts, Baked Cookies and Creme Donuts, Baked Key Lime Donuts), and I'd also used the basic yeast free dough mentioned in this donut twist recipe before in my Rosemary Infused Shrimp Scampi Pizza, both of which had been successful. So I decided to give it a try.

I wasn't happy. First they weren't baking as twists, so I rolled them into 12 round (what I hoped would be) donut holes. They browned, but still not happy.

Me (calling down to Hubs in his man cave): Want to come and see if these are edible?
Hubs (coming up the stairs): What are they?

Me: Well, they're not donuts.

Hubs: OK, they aren't donuts, but what are they?
Me: I don't know.

Hubs: You don't know what they are?
Me: I know what they aren't and they aren't donuts.

Turns out what they ended up being was food for the kitchen trash compactor.

If you were a fly on the wall at my house this past month, you would have been witness to a few things that just didn't work out for me.

1) Sneezing while applying nail polish.

2) Walking down the street to the mailbox without the key.

3) Plugging the charging cord into my laptop without plugging the other end into the wall.

4) Putting dinner on the grill and leaving a clean plate and spatula next to the grill while I went in the house to work on the sides. Then coming back outside to find that a bird had . . . well . . . let's just say I needed a new clean plate and spatula {{gag}}.

5) Reenacting an old cartoon scene where I play Bugs Bunny when Yosemite Sam shot at his feet telling him to dance. That composite deck we had built last year apparently soaks up the broiling heat from the sun the way our wood deck had not. My poor feet. Went out to water my plants and came dancing. I'm sure the neighbors are still laughing.

I was watching a show, and the cop was describing his assessment of the intelligence of the suspect. At least I think that's what he was doing. 'Cause I didn't quite get it.

He stated that she clearly wasn't the sharpest bulb in the drawer. And I honestly don't know exactly what that means.

But then maybe he knows what he's talking about, and I'm just not the sharpest tack in the box. Or the sharpest knife in the drawer. Or the sharpest tool in the shed. Or the brightest bulb in the circuit . . .

But at least I can close the donut box.

 

Things have been incrediby tough for me lately. Not only am I heartbroken and terrified about the fact that it's this generation that allowed our country to be decimated, but a lot has been going on for me on a personal level. It's been hard to keep my head above water.

So I want to end this month on a hopeful note. I've taken some recent signs from nature, and tried to incorporate their message into my thinking.

I went out front to water my plants when there, between the front door and where I was going, sat a beautiful butterfly. Right on my driveway. When I got right up next to him to take this picture, he moved forward a few steps but, surprisingly, didn't leave.

I looked it up, it's a Black Swallowtail Butterfly, and if it visits you it's supposed to symbolize a major life change, a transition to something new and positive, an ending of one chapter and the beginning of another.

Sounds perfect to me.

But then as I was heading back into the house, I stepped up to the front porch and there, hanging right over my head (freaking me out), was a big, thick, hairy Wolf Spider (yes, way bigger than the picture shows, no way was I getting any closer). Oh, no, does this negate all that positive? 

Back to Google. There are two versions of what a spider hanging over your head symbolizes. The first, based on superstition, is that you will receive a letter. The front porch location means that a new energy or message will enter your life.

The other potential interpretation is that it represents good luck and wealth, that something positive or important is going to descend from above.

But wait. That's not all.

As I opened the front door to go into the house, I looked down and to my right and saw something I've never seen before, a pure white moth. The moth also didn't fly away as I bent to take a picture.

Does this also have meaning? I don't know, I didn't even know they existed.

Back to my friend Google. And this time, with mixed results. Although some ancient beliefs is that they represent death or misfortune (yikes), by far most believe they are symbolic of hope, great change, guidance, or protection.

I tend to be far more analytical than spiritual, so one butterfly alone could just be chance. Add in the hanging spider and you could still have a coincidence. But three separate sightings? All within minutes of each other? I think someone is trying really hard to get me to see something. And I'm going to say that something is that I should have hope, that change is coming. 

Thank you, Mother Nature, for the beautiful gift. Just when I need it.

 

Now click on the links below and see what my friends have to share:

Menopausal Mother 

On the Border

Apple Crumble Tartlets

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

1/2 package refrigerated pie crusts

5 apples, peeled and chopped

5 TBSP butter, room temperature, divided

1 TBSP lemon juice

4 1/2 TBSP brown sugar, divided

1 1/2 tsp cinnamon, divided

1/4 tsp apple pie spice mix

5 TBSP flour, divided

OPT: whipped cream or vanilla ice cream

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

*Roll out the pie crust. Using a cookie cutter or a 3 1/2 inch template, cut out 12 circles. If you don't get all 12, using a rolling pin, roll out the unused portions around the circles to make more. Press the circles into the bottoms and partially up the sides of 12 sturdy 3 inch disposable tart liners.

*Heat 1 TBSP butter with the lemon juice over medium heat in a skillet. Add the apples, 2 TBSP of the brown sugar, 1 tsp of the cinnamon and the apple pie spice mix. Cook, stirring, until the apples start to soften. Mix in 1 TBSP of the flour to thicken up. Set aside.

*For the topping, cut the remaining 4 TBSP flour, 2 1/2 TBSP brown sugar and 1/2 tsp cinnamon into the remaining softened butter. Set aside.

*Divide the apple mixture among the 12 tarts, add the topping and place the tart liners into a 9 X 13 pan. Bake for 30 minutes. Serve once cooled or partially cool and serve warm.

*OPT: top with whipped cream or vanilla ice cream.

Better Held than Boiled

 

My mom served tongue for dinner once. It actually served more as a traumatic event than a meal.

 

Not just tongue, but when it comes to organ meats, I don't eat them at all. There was a time when holidays included Nana's chicken liver, which I did like in small amounts. But Nana's been gone a long time ליה השלום and at this point I eat none: livers, hearts, brains, intestines . . . even the thought of haggis makes me gag. 

 

To me, all offal, is awful. 

 

I still cringe at the memory of that tongue. I mean, that thing looked like a tongue. Little taste bud bumps and all.

 

Now I know tongue is a good source of zinc, iron, and vitamin B12. I know that when preparing, many chefs remove the section where the tongue attaches to the bottom of the mouth, and I'm also aware that, possibly to make it more palatable, once cooked, some will peel back the skin before slicing. 

 

None of which helps.

 

 

 

 

It can be boiled, braised, pickled, roasted, smoked, salted, brined, sauteed, prepared (and disguised in a myriad of ways.

 

I've heard that tongue, or Lengua, is a popular taco filling. 

Still no.

 

And I've seen it ordered in the deli: sliced, on marble rye, with Swiss cheese, hot mustard, and slaw. I'll take that please, just replace the tongue with corned beef.

So . . .

I was in the grocery store the other day, happily making my selections, planning out my meals (and treats) for both the rest of the year, and New Year's Eve and Day.

Apple Walnut Creme au Pain

 

I went to check out and one of my items didn't ring up at the sale price. As the cashier was trying to figure out why, there was a guy putting his groceries up to check out after me. 

Unfortunately, the cashier couldn't get the correct price to come up and had to call for a manager. Just as she was finishing adjusting the price, the man who had been behind me walked up, I guess he'd gone to get something else.

"Are you finally done?" he asked. I could tell he was joking, and I turned to him, smiled and said "sorry, that's on me, I had to pick the one item that didn't ring up right." He laughed, the cashier laughed, the manager laughed, a pleasant meaningless supermarket interaction.

As I was leaving, the man turned to the cashier:

Customer: You have no dark brown sugar.

Cashier: Oh?
Customer (loudly): Yes, only light brown. THANKS, BIDEN.

 

Which is how I found myself walking out of a grocery store . . . holding my tongue.

Apple Walnut Creme au Pain       

                                                                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 box (16 oz) frozen French toast sticks, defrosted

1 loaf (16 oz) cinnamon bread

2/3 cup chopped walnuts

3 medium Cosmic Crisp apples (or apples of your choice)

4 TBSP butter

1/3 cup brown sugar

1/2 tsp cinnamon 

1/4 tsp apple pie spice

8 eggs

1/4 cup Mascarpone 

2/3 cup milk

 

OPT: serve sprinkled with powdered sugar, drizzled with caramel sauce, topped with whipped cream or topped with ice cream

 

Directions:

*Grease a 9 X 13 baking pan.

*Cut the French toast sticks into thirds and place in a large bowl. Chop the cinnamon bread and mix with the French toast sticks. Mix in the walnuts.

*Core, peel, and chop the apples. Melt the butter in a saute pan over medium heat. Add the apples, brown sugar, cinnamon, and apple pie spice. Cook, stirring now and then, until the apples start to soften, about 15 minutes.

*Add the apple mixture to the large bowl with the bread and walnuts and mix well. 

*Pour into the prepared pan and arrange so it's evenly dispersed.

*Whisk together the eggs, Mascarpone, eggnog (or half and half), and the milk. Pour evenly over the bread mixture in the pan. Cover tightly with tin foil and refrigerate for at least 6 hours.

*One hour before cooking, move the pan to the counter.

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Bake, covered, for 50 minutes. Uncover and bake another 10 minutes. Allow to sit for 5 minutes before serving.

*OPT: serve sprinkled with powdered sugar, drizzled with caramel sauce, topped with whipped cream or topped with ice cream.

Punish or Pardon for Pie: Use Your Words

 

 

Today’s post is a monthly writing challenge. If you’re new here, this is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once. All of the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s  participating knows who got their words and in what direction the recipient will take them. Until now.

 

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.

I'm using:  policeman ~ incorrigible ~ delight ~ reckless ~ stop
They were submitted by Diane of On the Border.

 

  

I'm laughing as I'm reading these assigned words. Why? Because of who assigned them.

 

Diane uses her words each month to treat us to the latest chapter in her fictional story about the multiple mishaps of her protagonist, Sally. I look at the words that she sent in and all I can think of is that these would be perfect words for a Sally story.

 

But since I didn't assign her words back to her (wouldn't that have been a fun surprise), I'm going to let them inspired me to write you a little piece of fiction myself today. A short story not about mishaps, but about . . . well, you'll see . . .

 

"Make an arrest," the policeman thought wearily to himself, "that's what you've been trained to do." Lashing out, fighting, was impulsive, reckless, someone could have been hurt. You just cannot lose your shit like that and have there be no consequences.

He'd been well trained, and schooled on the streets, about how giving a pass to an unchecked temper is often a precursor to escalation. The long term ramifications can be bold, even incorrigible behavior, something worse that would have to be dealt with. Yes, even at the exhausting end of an 8 hour shift, the responsibility to put a stop to it now is his. It's a commitment he made, one he takes seriously.

 

But the truth is, it's late, and de-escalation of this kind of unruly behavior takes time, patience, even explanation. Right now, nothing would please him more than to have the option to forget what he just witnessed. Then he wouldn't have to put off for another minute making his way to that delightful Cranberry Apple Walnut Pie his wife baked today. He could hear it calling his name.

 

 

Cranberry Apple Walnut Pie

 

But he's on scene, and unfortunately, without back up, he's the only one on scene tonight. So, this latest incident is officially his to deal with. 

 

Damn!

 

"Although," he thought, leaving the den and heading for the kitchen, "despite all of my training, perhaps an arrest would be a bit excessive. "They do say it's best to just ignore these tantrums. She is, after all, not even 3 yet."

 

Well, that . . . and pie . . .

 

Here are links to all the other Use Your Words posts:

On the Border

The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver 

Climaxed 

What TF Sarah

Part-time Working Hockey Mom 

 

 

Cranberry Apple Walnut Pie

                                               ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

1 pie crust

1 TBSP flour

4 apples of your choice, cored, peeled, and sliced into about 16 slices each

3/4 cup brown sugar

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 tsp cinnamon

2 TBSP flour

1 can (1 oz) whole berry cranberry sauce

1/2 cup chopped walnuts

3/4 stick butter, cubed

3/4 cup flour

1/3 cup brown sugar

Directions:

*Place a large piece of tin foil in the oven and preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

*Spread 1 TBSP flour over the pie crust. Flip the crust over, into a deep dish pie pan so the flour is on the bottom. Fit the crust into the bottom and up the sides of the pan. Crimp the top between two fingers, all the way around.

*Place the apple slices into a bowl with 3/4 cup brown sugar, salt, and cinnamon. Mix to coat evenly. Remove about 16 apple slices and arrange in the pie crust. Remove another 10 slices and set aside.

*Cut the remaining apple slices in half (chunks), add 2 TBSP flour, the can of cranberry sauce, and the walnuts. Mix well and pour evenly into the pie crust over the bottom layer of apples.

*Place the cubed butter in a bowl. Cut in 3/4 cup of flour and 1/3 cup brown sugar and, using the tines of a fork, mash together until it forms a crumble. Sprinkle over the pie, then arrange the reserved apple slices on top.

*Place the pie on the tin foil in the preheated oven. Bake for 55 minutes. Cool to room temperature before slicing.

George Goes Fishing: Funny Friday

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here's today's picture. It was submitted by Dawn of Spatulas on Parade.

1. George (a northerner visiting his cousin): I don't see the jetty, is it invisible?
Billy Bob (a local): You're in the south now, see that log? That IS the jetty.

2. George: That doesn't really look clean, and there's so much debris, is it really a problem, people swimming here?
Billy Bob: Oh cousin, on some of the hotter days we swim in puddles.

3. George: What are we fishing for? Fire wood?

4. George: That's not the correct way to write a letter, you have to address someone.
Billy Bob: Huh?
George: Like instead of saying:

No Swimming
From Fishing Jetty

it should say: 

Dear Aunt Mabel,
No swimming.
From, 
Fishing Jetty 

Billy Bob: That's what I get for inviting an English professor to come visit.


5. George's wife (when George returned from fishing): How'd you do? We having fish for dinner?
George: Lets just say I caught some invisible fish from an invisible jetty.


And now for something yummy (not fish, since none were caught): 

Apple Oatmeal Quick Bread

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile: 
Spatulas on Parade 
Follow Me Home 
Southern Belle Charm 

Apple Oatmeal Quick Bread

                                                         ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups flour
3/4 cup quick oats
2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp apple pie spice
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/3 cup canola oil
1/2 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup honey
1/2 cup applesauce
1 TBSP apple cider vinegar
1 egg
1/2 of an apple, peeled, cored and chopped
1/4 cup chopped walnuts

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 9 X 5 loaf pan.
*Mix together the flour, quick oats, cinnamon, apple pie spice, baking soda, baking powder and salt.
*In a separate bowl, whisk together the oil, maple syrup, honey, applesauce, apple cider vinegar and egg.
*Mix the liquid ingredients into the dry ingredients just until incorporated, then fold in the chopped apple and walnuts. Pour evenly into the prepared pan.
*Bake for 35 to 45 minutes, or until the center of the top springs back to the touch. Cool for 10 minutes in the pan before running a knife around the edges and removing to cool completely.