Split Decision: Funny Friday

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here's today's picture. It was submitted by Me.

 

1. Child: Is this what they mean by "split decision?" 

Mom: Well, it's certainly proof that it's best to work together. 

 

2. Little Girl (looking at the tree): Mom, does that hurt? 

Mom: I don't think so, what do you think?

Little Girl: I don't think I'd want to do the splits for that long.
Mom: Good point. 

 

3. Maple (to his friend the Cottonwood): I heard something about you and your wife, are you OK?

Cottonwood: Yes, unfortunately we hit a rough patch.

Maple: Were you able to work it out?

Cottonwood, No, we decided to split.

 
4. Tree (to his better half): Honey, I think you've taken social distancing a bit too far.

5. Girlfriend to boyfriend: I think we should take a break.

Boyfriend (disappointed): Why? Don't you like spending time with me?
Girlfriend: I do, but I need a little space. Sometimes it feels like we're joined at the hip.

And now for something yummy:

Orange Cranberry Pull-Apart Loaf

 

Click on the link below for more smiles:

Southern Belle Charm 

Orange Cranberry Pull-Apart Loaf

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
2 cans refrigerated crescent dough sheets

3/4 cup orange marmalade

2 TBSP cranberry juice

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp allspice 

1/4 cup cranraisins

1/4 cup shelled roasted pistachios, chopped 

Directions:

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease a loaf pan.
*Unroll the crescent dough sheets and cut each one in half, the long way, then cut each half into thirds.
*Whisk together the orange marmalade, cranberry juice, cinnamon, and allspice. Mix in the cranraisins and chopped pistachios.
*Gently dollop a heaping teaspoon of the mixture into the center of the top of each of the 12 dough segments, then fold the bottom half over onto the filling. 

*Place loosely into your prepared loaf pan, folded side down and open side up to fill the pan.
*Bake for 20 minutes, loosely cover with tin foil and bake another 20 minutes. Remove from oven, gently run a knife around the edges, then allow to sit in the pan for 15 minutes before removing to serve.

Hell on Wheels: Funny Friday

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here's today's picture. It was submitted by Me.

 

 

1. Driver (to himself): Someone's having a bad day.  

 

2. Passenger: Who do you think put that sign up?

Driver: Ivanka Trump.

3. Passenger: Based on what I was just going to ask, I really hope that sign isn't prophetic.

Driver: What were you going to ask?
Passenger: I need to pee, are we anywhere near a rest stop? 

 

4. Little Boy: Are we there yet?

Mom: You just asked that a minute ago.

Little Boy: But are we there yet?

Mom: Honey, it's going to be another hour.

Two minutes later:

Little Girl: Are we there yet?
Dad (to wife): See that sign? Bet it was paid for by parents on a road trip.

Mom: Yeah, this trip brings a whole new perspective to the saying "hell on wheels."

5. Driver (to himself): Whoever put that sign up has obviously crossed paths with my ex-wife.

 
And now for something yummy:

Canadian Bacon French Toast

Click on the link below for more smiles:

Southern Belle Charm 

Canadian Bacon French Toast

                                                         ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

 

Ingredients: 

4 slices white or wheat bread

4 slices Canadian bacon

2 eggs

1/4 cup French vanilla creamer

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp almond extract 

2 TBSP butter, divided

 

OPT: serve with powdered sugar and/or maple syrup

Directions:
*Cut the center out of the bread slices using a cookie cutter of your choice. Remove the centers and set aside.

*Using the same cookie cutter, cut the center out of the slices of Canadian bacon. If the cutter won't cut through the meat, run a knife around the edges of the cutter into the meat. Remove the centers (I chop up the outer edges and freeze for later use in soups).

*Whisk together the egg, creamer, salt, and almond extract in a bowl that will accommodate the slices of bread.

*Melt 1 TBSP butter in a large skillet and heat on medium. 

*Dip both sides of 2 slices of bread in the egg mixture and place them in the pan. Press Canadian bacon cut-outs into the centers.

*Cook until the bottom of the bread is brown. Using a large spatula, flip them over. Lower the heat just a little and brown the other side. Remove from the pan and keep warm while you repeat with the other 2 slices.

*OPT: Dip the bread cut-outs in the egg mixture and cook them as well.

 

I'm Hot: Funny Friday

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here's today's picture. It was submitted by me!

1. Shopper (under her breath to herself): In defense of whoever wears these, I've got to say that the "hot pants" of my time were pretty embarrassing too.

2. Husband: I need those pants.
Wife: Why?
Husband: You know how I always forget what you tell me to go to the store to pick up?
Wife: Yes?
Husband: When you need sriracha, I'll just put those pants on.
Wife: And what are you going to wear when we need bananas?


3. Son: I need those.
Mom: What is with this family? Why do you want sriracha pants.
Son: Advertisement.
Mom: Advertisement?
Son: Yeah, 'cause I'm hot!

4. Husband to wife: I think you should buy those.
Wife: I wouldn't wear them out of the house.
Husband: We could go out looking like a team.
Wife: And what would you be wearing?
Husband: I just need to find some fire extinguisher pants. 
Wife (under her breath): I just need to find you a straight jacket.

5. Husband (looking at the sriracha pants): What are you making tonight?
Wife: Let me guess, you want my Crockpot Sriracha Pork Roast.
Husband: See, all these years together and you can read my mind.

Crockpot Sriracha Pork Roast
serve with homemade Devil's Applesauce

And look at what I found in a different store. Sriracha must not just be hot, but be a hot fashion:

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile: 
Spatulas on Parade 

Follow Me Home

Crockpot Sriracha Pork Roast

                                                         ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
2.5# pork loin roast
salt, pepper, garlic powder
1 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup orange juice
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tsp minced garlic
2 tsp minced ginger
3 TBSP sriracha sauce

OPT: serve with my homemade Devil's Applesauce

Directions:
*Sprinkle all sides of the roast with salt, pepper and garlic powder. Sear all sides in a very hot pan. Place the roast in a slow cooker and turn it on to high.
*Whisk together the soy sauce, orange juice, brown sugar, garlic, ginger and sriracha. Pour into the slow cooker with the pork. 
*Cover and cook on high for an hour. Turn the roast over and cook for another hour. Turn again, lower the temperature and cook for 3 hours. Remove the roast, slice, and return to the slow cooker for one more hour.

Funny Friday: Give Me a Hand

Today’s post is July’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by Dawn of Spatulas on Parade. 

1. "Ouch?"

2. Child calling out to his mom "Look, someone lost a hand puppet . . .  can I keep it Mom? Please?"

3. Crab to himself: "Well, that's the last time I ask them to give me a hand."

4. Walkers along the beach: "That had to hurt."

5.Walker along the beach to self: "This beach must be for dieters, walking for exercise and an appetite suppressant laying here in the sand too."


And now for something yummy. For anyone who still has an appetite, that is . . . 
 
 

 

Peanut Butter Sandwich Stacks

  

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:

Southern Belle Charm 
My Brain on Kids 
Molly Ritterbeck 
 Spatulas on Parade 
The Bergham Chronicles  
Measurements of Merriment 
 Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
Not That Sarah Michelle 

 

 

 

Peanut Butter Sandwich Stacks

                                                                        ©www.BakingInATornado.com

 

Printable Recipe

 

Ingredients:

9 - 12 slices bread
3/4 cup smooth peanut butter, divided
2 TBSP cup jelly, flavor of your choice
2 TBSP cup marshmallow fluff
1/4 cup chocolate chips
1 small can potato sticks
4 large strawberries, cleaned, hulled and thinly sliced

Directions:
*Use 2 long pieces of plastic wrap to cover the inside and drape over the sides of an 8 X 8 baking dish.
*Remove the crust from the bread slices. Gently roll them with a rolling pin. Place one slice in the prepared baking dish and using more of the bread, cut to fit in covering the whole bottom but not overlapping.
*Whisk 1/4 cup peanut butter with 2 TBSP jelly and melt in the microwave for about 30 seconds. Pour over the bread and spread so it covers evenly. Top with a layer of the potato sticks.
*For the next layer, repeat with more slices of bread, gently press down. Microwave another 1/4 cup of peanut butter, this time with the chocolate chips until smooth. Spread over this second layer of bread and top with the sliced strawberries.
*For the next layer, repeat with more slices of bread and gently press down. Microwave the rest of the peanut butter. Whisk in the marshmallow fluff. Smooth over the bread. Top with another layer of the potato sticks and finally with another layer of slices of bread. Press gently. 
*Cover tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate for an hour.
*Remove from fridge and remove from pan. Cut, cover again and bring to room temperature before serving.  

Funny Friday: Ever Heard of Halloween?

Today’s post is October’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.
 

Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by Someone Else's Genius.
 

 
 
1. Pheasant into his cell phone: Can you hear me now?
 
2. Note to self: Develop a line of camo clothing for pheasants, you'll make a fortune.

3. Pheasant to self: I'd rather be under the shrubs than under-glass.

4. Pheasant to self: But that free app I downloaded said hunting season ended yesterday.

5. Pheasant to self: Hunters? Who's afraid of hunters? If the wife finds out I spent the rent I'll wish the hunters had shot me.

and one more for Halloween:

6. Man yelling out from under the brush while undressing: STOP SHOOTING. This is a costume. Ever heard of Halloween?
Note to self: Burn this costume. 
 
 
And now for something yummy. I chose this dessert for today because it's not only a fun Halloween dessert, but perfect for Thanksgiving too.
 

Ginger Pumpkin Cheesecake Log

 

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:

The Bergham Chronicles

Follow me home

Measurements of Merriment

Dinosaur Superhero Mommy 

Someone Else's Genius
 Confessions of a part-time working mom
 The Momisodes
 Spatulas on Parade

 

Ginger Pumpkin Cheesecake Log

                                                                          ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 

Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
1 box (3.4 oz) cheesecake instant pudding
1  cup milk
3/4 cup pureed pumpkin
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 TBSP powdered sugar
Approx 30 - 35 ginger snap cookies

OPT: Pumpkin seeds or your choice of decoration

Directions:
*Whisk together the pudding mix, milk, pumpkin puree, nutmeg and cinnamon for 2 minutes until it starts to thicken. Set aside.
*In a separate bowl, whip the heavy cream until soft peaks form. Add the powdered sugar and whip until stiff peaks form.
*Fold the whipped cream into the pudding.
*Along the center of a long serving platter, place a thin strip, about an inch wide of whipped cream mixture.
*Spread about 1 to 1/2 TBSP (approximate, don't bother measuring) onto each ginger snap. Place one cookie on top of another so you have groups of about 5. Stand the cookies, not flat but on their edges, into the whipped cream mixture on the platter. You should have one long log.
*Using the rest of the whipped cream mixture, completely cover the top and sides of the cookie log. Refrigerate overnight.
*To serve, decorate as desired. Slice at a 45 degree angle.