I DO Know: Fly on the Wall

 

Welcome to our monthly Fly on the Wall, a blog post written in snippets. Marcia, Diane, and I invite you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes, at our writing desks, and in our worlds. Come on in, buzz around, see what we've been up to. Bet you laugh! 

Apparently Hubs had some paperwork coming to the house. I wasn't aware of it, but he let me know the morning it was due to arrive.

Hubs: FedEx will be dropping off an envelope today, they'll need a signature.

Me: Then you better plan to be here to get it.

Hubs: Why, are you going out?
Me: No, it's Wednesday.

Hubs: And?
Me: I'm doing laundry.

Hubs: And?
Me: I don't answer the door when I'm wearing my doing laundry clothes.

Hubs: {{blink, blink}}.

Well, I mean you all have doing laundry clothes too, right? And you wouldn't open the door wearing them either, would you?

Although they're rarely right, Hubs has gotten me into the habit of checking the weather app now and then. I actually have it set to 3 cities: where I live, where PurDude lives, and where my mom lives.

I saw that the forecast for my area was dismal, but PurDude's was even worse. We were texting that morning, as we always do:

Me: It's going to be cold and rainy here. Looks like you're getting some sleep?

PurDude: Because your weather makes me tired?

Me: Sleet. Not sleep, sleet. Sheesh!

I was on a local store's website looking for an electric toothbrush head replacement. Somehow, what came up was . . . teeth? 

Teeth? One size fits all? Available at the grocery store? And it seems, from their advertising, that they're designed for minimal speech disruption. 

That's a hard pass. I won't be buying dentures at the grocery store. I'll stick to my G-d given choppers, thanks.

What's next? Over the counter IUDs?

 

We generally don't play the lottery, but when it gets high enough, it's hard to resist. The Powerball had gotten way past high enough, close to the billions. We played and I was fully expecting to win. At least something, right?

 

Wrong, Hubs and I both got just one number each. Two people won and obviously it wasn't us. I was sorely disappointed. Why couldn't it have been me?

 

I know, I'll ask Google.  

 

So I typed in "why didn't I win," and as always, Google gives options as to what I might be looking for based on common queries, trends, and my search history. Top option they offered? Why didn't I win the sperm race?

 

Umm, no. Not what I was going for. Now I'm spending way too much time wondering both how many people ask that for it to be a common query, or what my personal search history says about me.

 

The answer to either one of those, I really don't want to know. 

Hubs needed some oil for the car. It's european oil that you can't find everywhere, but our local Walmart has it, and at a great price. I ordered it on the morning of the 5th, and it was due to be delivered that day by 10:00 pm. I was watching the order through the day and in large letters it said "arriving by 10:00 pm," then in tiny letters under that it said "searching for a driver." Well, that can't be good. Especially since Hubs needs that oil.

At 9:30 pm, they updated the order to "delayed." They sent an email saying they'd do everything they can to get it to us within two days. Not going to work. 

The next morning, Friday, the 6th, Hubs decided he'd have to go out and get it himself if it wasn't coming by noon. Every time I checked, there wasn't an update.

Just before noon, I updated Hubs:

Me: Looks like Walmart put us in a time machine.

Hubs: What?
Me: Yes, the order updated.

Hubs: What does that have to do with a time machine?

Me: The update is that it's due to arrive by 1:30 pm, Thursday March 5th.

Hubs: That's yesterday.

Me: Hence the time machine . . .

Italian Party Sub

We were going to watch a Purdue basketball game. Hubs had been in his man cave watching an earlier game, which was going into overtime. I didn't care, I follow teams, not sports.

 

He came into the den just before the Purdue game was about to start. He looked up and saw I had the TV on and the game going into overtime on the screen.

 

Hubs: What channel is Purdue on?
Me: This one, that's why I have this channel on.

Hubs: Oh, I thought you put this channel on because you were being nice, knowing I was interested in the overtime game. 

Me: No, I'm not that nice. 

 

I thought I was joking but I didn't hear him disagree . . . 

 

I notice Hubs walking around, seemingly randomly:

Me: What are you doing?
Hubs: Looking for my glasses.

Me: When did you have them last?
Hubs: I don't know.

Now, normally I'd laugh at him, tell him he's getting old, but it turns out I don't think it's so funny.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I have my moments, even posted about it on my Baking In A Tornado FB page:

So yeah, you won't catch me laughing. Crying maybe, but not laughing.

You know I love mysteries and I recently was challenged with one myself. The Case of the Stowaway Bird.

I really like unsalted peanuts in the shell. I haven't seen them in a store for quite a long time (other than priced as if it were gold. 

Hubs was in a hardware store and gave me a call. They had a 5# bag of peanuts for about $6. Sounds like they're for squirrels. He told me that they have them for squirrels also, but these are for people. Although a 5# bag will last pretty much forever, we decided he'd get them.

I had a few here and there the first few days. One day, I felt a stick in the bag. I poured some of the peanuts onto the counter and out came the stick. And a bird.

A bird?

These peanuts had a stowaway. And since they're grown and processed in North Carolina, I have to wonder what bird would leave that climate for winter in the Midwest.

I may need to do some investigating.

A text between PurDude and I:

Me: I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but dad is a cereal killer.

PurDude: What are you talking about?

Me: He's caused irreparable harm.

PurDude: I doubt it.

Me: I have proof:

A few minutes later, Hubs comes up from his man cave:

Hubs: What's going on?
Me: What are you talking about?

Hubs: PurDude just texted me.

Me: OK . . .

Hubs: Here's what he said . . . "is mom off her meds?"

Speaking of someone who is serially responsible for the murder of Americans, attacked and dragged away while just trying to live their lives in the cities they call home:

In last month's post, A Whole Hole, I questioned the intent of a news show praphic of trump. I certainly know what I thought about the situation, but the producers? Not positive. Could go either way.

But the next graphic I saw on the same show made it pretty clear.

Yes, that dope is an a-hole. And we all know it.

 

 

Now click on the links below and see what my friends have to share:

Menopausal Mother 

On the Border

Italian Party Sub

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

6 oz grape tomatoes

2 TBSP Italian salad dressing

1 (14 - 16 oz) Italian Loaf, unsliced

4 TBSP butter

1/2 tsp garlic powder

6 oz shredded cheddar, gouda, and gruyere cheese mixture

10 slices deli black forest ham

10 slices deli roasted chicken

10 slices thin sliced pepperoni

1/2 cup pepperocini slices

1 cup spinach

8 slices provolone

Directions:

*Cut the tomatoes in half, mix with the Italian dressing and set aside.

*Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.

*Slice the Italian loaf in half, lengthwise. Leaving about a 1 inch border, hollow out most (but not all) of the bread from the bottom, creating a boat. Leaving a 1 inch border, scrape out just some of the bread from the top.

*Mix together the melted butter and garlic powder. Brush about 2/3 of this mixture onto the bottom of the loaf.

*Into the bottom of the loaf, layer the shredded cheese mixture, followed by the ham slices, folded in half, the roasted chicken slices, folded in half, and the pepperoni slices.

*Top with the tomatoes mixed with the salad dressing, the pepperoncini slices, the spinach, and finally the provolone.

*Top with the remaining half of the bread. Brush the remaining butter and garlic powder over the top.

*Wrap tightly in heavy tin foil. Bake for 1/2 hour. Uncoover the top and bake for another 10 minutes.

Absolutes

 

Absolutes. 

Clear, unequivocal, immovable and inflexible. They are the foundation, serve to define the boundaries and provide structure.

I play Sudoku. Well, I play a lot of games, mostly word games. I post my results to my Baking In A Tornado FB page twice a day, and anyone who chooses to share adds their results to the threads.

Sudoku is different. This is one I just play myself, don't share anywhere. It's fun for analytical, organized, left-brained me. There is a daily game option, and every morning I get to see what the game has in store for me, sometimes they're difficult, sometimes not so much, but I let them choose. 

And then I play until I get it, until I win that day's game.

BUT, the only way to win is to accept the absolutes.

They are the rules, of course, and there are a few of them. The first is your roadmap and the second is your mandate. You can look at them as limitations. But they also provide structure, without those clearly defined parameters, there would be chaos, no hints, no clues, no direction. You're given a board with numbers already in some of the spaces. You cannot change them. And only one number will be correct for each open space. Figure it out.

In this current social climate of blurring the lines, fighting the rules, cheating to win or blaming the game, all of that falls on deaf (since games don't have any) ears. You can take it to the Supreme Court if you want (who knows what kinds of cases they'd be willing to hear these days), but it will change nothing. The rules are the rules. The absolutes are clearly defined and if your goal is to win, they must be respected.

If you want to play, you choose between winning and spinning (your wheels).

 

As we all light our grills this 4th of July, prepare to feast and to celebrate with friends and family, I hope we all take the time to think. 

Grilled Apricot Mustard Pork

Not just about food and fireworks, or even independence, but what the loss of independence, the fall into autocracy, really means. And not just for us, but all who came before us, those who have, and who continue to fight for our freedoms. 

Freedom is the game, and it's a democratic republic for the win. The only way to play is if we, as a country, can get back to respecting the absolutes.

"We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator, with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness . .  ." 

    ~ Preamble to the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson, 1776

"Congress shall make no law respecting the establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances." 

    ~ First Amendment to the Constitution, James Madison, lead author, 1791

" . . . that these dead shall not have died in vain . . . that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth." 

    ~ Gettysburg Address, Abraham Lincoln, 1863

That's where we need to start. Absolutely.

Grilled Apricot Mustard Pork         

                                                                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 approximately 2# pork tenderloin

1/4 cup apricot preserves

1 TBSP sweet hot mustard

3 TBSP stone ground mustard 

2 TBSP white wine

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

1/4 tsp cumin

Directions:
*Rinse the pork tenderloin, pat dry, trim and cut into approximately 3/4 inch medallions. Place into a gallon sized plastic bag.

*Whisk together the apricot preserves, both mustards, wine, salt, pepper, and cumin. Pour into the bag and manipulate to be sure all of the meat is covered. Seal and refrigerate for at least 4 hours, up to a day.

*Place the medallions onto a grill, heated to medium. Discard any remaining marinade in the bag. 

*NOTE: pork needs to be cooked to at least 145 degrees. How long your medallions take to cook will depend on the heat of your grill and the thickness of your slices.

*Cook for about 7 minutes, flip over, and cook another approximately 7 minutes. Continue cooking if the 145 degree minimum heat has not been achieved.

If You Cook It, They Will Come

Five years ago, to the day as a matter of fact, when I had been blogging for just 2 months, I posted a piece about my favorite holiday, B-T-S (back to school). At the time I was a young(er) stay-at-home mom frazzled by having just (barely) survived another school-less summer of amusing my two sons. They were both in high school, too old for summer camp, dammit. One had his driver's license just for a year and the other just barely had his learner's permit. Curfews were broken, the house was always full of kids coming and going through the front door and sneaking in and out of the basement slider. You see where I'm going here? Yes, back to school was a holiday in my book. In fact, it was a favorite.

 I found this picture used in my B-T-S post on FunnySigns.net. I contacted them and was given permission to use it with attribution.

During those years back to school was a whole big production. New wardrobes were bought, backpacks chosen, lunches paid for, supplies purchased. Through it all, anything I picked out was summarily rejected, as far as I could tell just because I'd picked it. And, of course, cars were fought over. It was pretty clear I was about to stop sharing mine and just plain lose it. I'd have to go shopping for me, if there were ever a spare minute. You and I both know there wouldn't be until school started again.

Just before school started as the level of excitement (me) and dread (them) grew, we also continued a long standing family tradition, something we've been doing since the boys started school. The entire week leading up to their first day, I'd cook all their favorite dinners and bake all their favorite treats. The last night would be saved for their number one favorite meal.

From the time they were little there was always a bit of an argument about what that last supper (so to speak) would be. They were kids so their favorites were pretty basic. College Boy always loved spaghetti with homemade sauce. PurDude generally just wanted a grilled sirloin burger. We'd have to take turns, burger one year and spaghetti another.

I need to mention here that College Boy is my favorite recipe muse. He gives me lots of ideas and even, when I only have a partial recipe in my head, comes up with what it's missing. Which is actually pretty amazing since the only thing he knows how to cook is frozen pizza. And he doesn't even do that right. Don't ask.

Anyway, my muse has been stuck lately. Every time I ask him for an idea for a new recipe, his answer is "spaghetti burgers". Spaghetti burgers? What is that? A burger with spaghetti in the middle? He says a burger with spaghetti as the bun. That wouldn't work, it would fall apart. But the details are my problem, he's stuck asking for a spaghetti burger. I'm stuck on who the hell would eat that (well, my kid would, but besides him)?

Yesterday was the first day of school. And although my boys are older and one of them isn't even here {{sob}}, old habits die hard, I decided to make their favorite dinner. But which one? Spaghetti? Or burger?


College Boy: "Spaghetti Burger!"

And that's when it hit me. A bit (OK quite a bit) of a crazy idea, but I was actually going to make a spaghetti burger. Well, spaghetti and meatball sliders, but I called them spaghetti burgers when I served them so shhhh don't tell. Challenge met, I did my part, I figured it out, the question is whether the family would actually eat them.

Spaghetti and Meatball Sliders

Turns out, when it comes to spaghetti and burgers, if you cook it, they will come.

And when dinner was over there was nary a leftover crumb.

Spaghetti and Meatball Sliders         
                                    ©www.BakingInATornado.com

 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
1 package slider rolls
1#lean ground beef
1/2# sausage (I use hot sausage)
1 egg
2 TBSP seasoned bread crumbs
3 TBSP grated parmesan, divided
1/2 tsp minced garlic
2 TBSP minced dried onion
1/2 tsp seasoned salt
6 oz spaghetti
1/2 cup plus 1/3 cup Homemade Marinara, divided
1 cup shredded mozzarella
2 TBSP melted butter
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp dried parsley

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease a 9 X 13 glass baking dish.
*Add together the ground beef, sausage, egg, bread crumbs, 2 TBSP parmesan, minced garlic, dried onion and seasoned salt and mix just until incorporated. Place into prepared dish and bake for 15 minutes. Remove from oven but leave oven on.
*While the meat is cooking, break the spaghetti into about 2 inch pieces. Cook al dente. Mix with 1/2 cup of the marinara and the remaining parmesan. Set aside.
*Using a large spatula, lift one corner of the meat, slide a long platter or a long thin cutting board underneath and remove. Try to keep it in one piece. Carefully, using paper towels, remove the grease from the baking pan and grease with non-stick spray. Blot the meat well.
*Slice the rolls, keeping them attached. Place the bottoms into the baking dish. Keep attached where you can but detach to cover the bottom of the dish. Top with the meat, the remaining marinara and the spaghetti. Sprinkle with the mozzarella, press the tops of the buns onto the cheese.
*Mix together the melted butter, garlic powder and parsley. Brush onto the tops of the rolls. 
*Bake for about 25 minutes until hot and the cheese has melted. Cut into individual sandwiches and serve.