Celebration Appreciation: Secret Subject Swap

 

 

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This month 5 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. Read through mine and at the bottom you’ll find links to all of today’s other Secret Subject participants.

 

 

My subject is: Tell us a Christmas story. Your choice.

It was submitted by: Rena of Wandering Web Designer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I find it pretty funny that it seems to be the Jewish girl who keeps getting all of the Christmas themed prompts. It's not like I'm in charge of the subject assignment or anything. 

Well, OK, I actually am. But it's not about picking and choosing, that not only wouldn't be fair, but it would be a whole lot less fun. No, the assignment process is tedious, and is about what's best for everyone based on everything but what the actual prompt is.

 

When the process was completed, last month my prompt ended up being about my holiday decoration schedule. I called the post Holiday Mash Up, and I explained how it turns out that the best decorations aren't the ones that are displayed, they're the ones that arrive.

 

You'd think that not celebrating Christmas would mean I don't have a Christmas story to tell, but I do. It's a story not of Christian beliefs, but of acceptance, appreciation, and community.

 

Let me tell you two things that stand out to me. First, when I was in religious school, we visited area churches. I think it was an early and important lesson about differences not dividing, about accepting and living with each other. I never forgot it.

 

The second thing is that we celebrated Christmas. Sort of. Santa Claus visited our home and filled the living room with gifts on Christmas morning. I think this was because there was no way my mom was going to have her Jewish kids tell the little Christian children that there was no Santa Claus. This practice ended once the other kids knew.

 

But other things continued. Participation in events that continued to foster the concept that religion was not an us-vs-them. We loved traveling the neighborhood and picking out our favorite light display. Each year the neighbor across the street had us over to decorate the tree with her family. I had an aunt who wasn't Jewish and who had a beautiful voice, we attended midnight mass to hear her sing. We, of course, attended Christmas parties and dinners and pot lucks. 

 

Peanut Butter S'more Snacks

 

 

The holiday celebrations, once I had kids, were a different experience. We live in the Midwest. I don't know if you'd call religion an us-vs-them, but it is definitely viewed among many as a right vs wrong. So I had to tread lightly. 

Santa came to our house when the boys were little, as he had to my childhood home, for the same reason. We loved looking at holiday lights and when we found out that one of the houses featured on the Today show was just 1/2 hour from here, we sat in our car for hours in line to see it.

 

We not only attended our friends' and neighbors' holiday celebrations, but I threw a Hanukkah party at our house every year. We were the only Jewish attendees, but it was so satisfying that friends were willing to share not only the celebration of their holiday but ours.

 

And each year that the boys were in elementary school, their teachers would allow me into their classrooms for a Hanukkah presentation. Deliberately, nothing in my visit was religious, just highlighting traditions. I'd bring the kids donuts (sufganiyut are eaten on Hanukkah), read a book about celebrating Hanukkah (which I then donated to the classroom), brought in dreidels and broke the kids up in groups to learn to play the game (using starburst candies instead of pennies). The kids all loved it. Many parents contacted me later asking me if I could give them a dreidel and written instructions on how to play.

But there were also disappointments. Every year the sign at the school said "Merry Christmas," for the month of December. Once the boys could read, I asked if they could change it to say "happy holidays." Apparently not. Rather than display a sentiment for all (there were one or two Muslims at the school too, btw), they took all the lettering down and left a blank sign.

I resented that I was required to pay neighborhood dues, some of which was used as a cash prize to the best Christmas decorated house. When I mentioned it (I believe it's even illegal to use those dues for anything religious), I was told that it did not exclude those of other religions, I was welcome to put up Christmas decorations too. It continues to this day.

 

Shortly after mentioning it to the head of the homeowner's association (a lawyer, btw) I had to turn over a threatening letter I received to the police. Yes, it was that bad.

And the store employees around here say "Merry Christmas." Period. Businesses make it clear that is their corporate policy. Somehow the idea of wishing everyone a happy holiday diminishes Christmas to them. I'm not exactly sure how that could possibly be, then again I'm also not sure there's logic involved. But the pervasive attitude around here is that religion does divide and it should, you are Christian or you are wrong.

I feel sorry for them. I think they totally miss the point. Religion is meant to guide and comfort us, inspire us to live to a higher standard. Honestly, I think I have a greater understanding of some aspects of Christmas than they do.

 

This is the graphic I created for a piece I wrote many years ago called Blasphemy. I talk about how religion is used and manipulated as opposed to followed. I ended my post by saying "religion is a blanket, not a sword."

I'll end this one by saying that religion needs to go back to being a blanket, not a sword. The tenets of all religions require us to look a little deeper into what our beliefs actually are, and how we manifest them in our daily lives. 

Happy holidays, my friends. May you find peace, inspiration, and direction in whatever you celebrate.

Take comfort. And give it.

 

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Wandering Web Designer

Climaxed 

What TF Sarah

Part-time Working Hockey Mom 

Peanut Butter S'more Snacks       

                                                                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 bag (7.6 oz) mini Reese's cups

1 bag (16 oz) mini pretzel twists

60 mini marshmallows

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 275 degrees. Cover 2 baking sheets with parchment paper.

*Place 60 pretzels in a single layer onto each of the baking sheets.

*Place a mini Reese's cup onto each pretzel on one baking sheet and a mini marshmallow onto each pretzel on the second baking sheet.

*Bake both sheets for 3 minutes, then remove from the oven. Immediately take each Reese's topped pretzel and sandwich them (with both pretzels on the outside) with a marshmallow topped pretzel, and press together gently.

*Allow to cool and set. NOTE: placing them in the refrigerator will allow them to set faster.

It is Here. And I Am Afraid

 

 

It is here. And I am afraid.

I'm not just traumatized by the last consequential November 3rd, and every chaotic day since then as the dems sat on their hands and shook their heads and clicked their tongues as the trump party publicly dismantled the heart and soul of this country piece by piece.

I'm not just afraid as an American. I'm not just afraid as an inhabitant of a planet under environmental attack. I'm not just afraid as a liberal in a conservative state. I'm not just afraid as someone who believes in the democratic practices of a constitutional republic. I'm not just afraid as someone who believes in human rights and expects compassion and humanity from those entrusted with molding the future of this country. I'm not just afraid that there's no stopping the power hungry insane man currently put in the White House (by nefarious outside forces), and all of those who usurped all semblance of morals and values at the first taste of power in order to keep him there.

Although I am certainly afraid of all of those things. 

 

Independence Cake 

 

I'm afraid as a Jew. I grew up both revulsed and indignant at the seemingly never ending stories and clips and pictures of the Nazi atrocities we saw year after year in religious school. I felt attacked, emotionally assaulted. The response to my aversion was always the same "we must never forget." 

 

Listen, I've been to Yad Vashem. It is humanizing, humbling, overwhelming, mortifying. Forget? Of course we will never forget. 

 

And then, a few years ago, I heard the "president" of this country say that those men in Charlottesville, carrying torches and chanting "Jews will not replace us" were very good people. I guess we've forgotten.

And I'm afraid as a woman. Where do we, where can we, possibly maintain any standing in a country where credibly accused rapists and molesters not only walk free, but are elevated to the highest stations of power? We are on the precipice of losing the right to make our own reproductive decisions. But even more than that, I'm afraid it's going to be open season on our sexual safety.

And I'm afraid as a mother. How can I expect young adults, not just mine but all of them, to thrive in a country where bullying and persecution have replaced common decency? Where, if you are viewed in any way "different," not just your rights but your very safety is in jeopardy? Where dissent is not fodder for discourse but justification for retribution?

I'm afraid that evil brought a bazooka to a fist fight with good, and all that is righteous is bleeding out on the floor. Along with the last vestiges of hope.

 

Overly dramatic? Read Mein Kampf. Then replay the past 4 years of trump quotes. He's not even innovative, he's just following the play book. And don't forget what Barr (Hermann Goring) and McConnell (Heinrich Himmler) have done to advance that agenda. And how far they've gone to not only suppress our constitutional right to vote but to lay the groundwork for delegitimizing this election in order to turn a potential loss into an authoritarian power grab.

November 3rd. It is here. And I am afraid.

 

Independence Cake         

                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:   

2 1/2 cups flour

1 1/4 cups sugar

1/2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

1 1/2 cups canola oil

2 eggs, room temperature

1 tsp vinegar

1 tsp vanilla 

1 cup buttermilk, room temperature

1 tsp red food coloring

1 tsp blue food coloring

1/4 cup red colored sugar

1/4 cup blue colored sugar

1/3 cup raspberries, if large, cut in half (if you're using frozen, drain the excess liquid)

1/3 cup blueberries

1 jar (7 oz) marshmallow creme

2 TBSP white chocolate liqueur (can substitute milk)

 

OPT: additional raspberries and blueberries to garnish

 

Directions:

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour two 8 inch cake pans.

*Whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Set aside.

*In a large bowl, beat the oil, eggs, vinegar and vanilla.

*Beat half of the dry ingredients into the large bowl, followed by half of the buttermilk. Repeat with the rest of the dry ingredients, then the rest of the buttermilk.

*Divide the batter in half (about 2 1/3 cups in each half). To half of the better, add the red food coloring and red colored sugar, to the other half add the blue food coloring and blue colored sugar.

*Pour the red cake batter into one of the prepared pans. Sprinkle with raspberries. Pour the blue batter into the other prepared pan and sprinkle with 1/3 cup of the blueberries.

*Bake for about 35 minutes, or until the center springs back to the touch. Remove from oven and cool in the pans for 10 minutes. Run a knife around the edges, remove from the pans and allow to cool completely.

*Using a grease spatula, mix together the marshmallow creme and the liqueur (or milk). Place the blue cake onto a serving dish. Spread with about 1/2 of the marshmallow creme mixture. Top with the red cake. Drizzle the remaining marshmallow creme mixture over the top and down the sides. Decorate with additional berries. Refrigerate to set.

Blasphemy

Lately I’ve been posting less humor and more serious pieces. I think this is partly because my muses are mostly out of the house and partly because of all the drama and heartbreak going on in my life. Whatever the reason, I’m going with it.

Today I’m taking on religion.

I’m not really interested in debating the premise of each religion, we all believe what works for us and I defend everyone’s right to do so. I know that there’s a sense of right and wrong in terms of the differences in the beliefs of religions. I disagree. When it comes to beliefs there’s only right and wrong for any given person.

But more and more I see people who want to belong met with rejection. I see people of all different faiths openly and deliberately looking to exclude others. This isn’t high school, this is organized religion.

I do see the value in age old traditions. I understand that religions don’t operate by constantly changing their doctrine. One of what I think is the primary roles of religion is to provide a moral compass. A staunch and unchanging moral compass. There has to be stability in terms of right and wrong. A religion cannot survive by being totally reactionary to societal changes.

But there is nothing wrong with progression and growth in terms of how we interpret the breadth of what is right. If we say that G-d loves all of his children, but in the past those of certain lifestyles have been excluded, excommunicated, shunned even, we do not lessen the tenet by coming to the conclusion that we need to exclude none.

Further down the slippery slope of exclusion are religious groups dedicated to discrimination, negativity and hate. We give them validation by calling these groups a church. They should not have tax-exempt status. In fact, it’s an insult to our society that they do.

Please excuse the simplistic baking analogy, but if you love chocolate chip cookies, only make chocolate chip cookies, are only friends with people who eat chocolate chip cookies, even if you decide that you will never try a lemon cookie, how do people who love Limoncello Cookies lesson your love of chocolate chip cookies?

Limoncello Cookies

And with increasing frequency we’re moving this issue out of the chapel and into the political arena. Following the analogy, to then seek to pass laws based on our belief that G-d only loves people who eat chocolate chip cookies, are we promoting the values of our religion, or are we really just using our religion to promote our own prejudices?

Bullying in the name of G-d. Isn’t this blasphemy?

Although I’m not exclusively speaking of homophobia, it’s a good example of what I’m trying to say because:

*A representative in one state has proposed a bill that will do away with all marriage licenses unless issued by a member of the clergy. Legalized exclusion.
*Another state is talking about a legal way to be sure that their state employees are not traumatized by forcing them to go against their religion in issuing marriage licenses to gay couples. Legalized exclusion.
*I think we’re up to 20 states now using laws to “protect religious freedom”in the workplace that are so vague and poorly thought-out that they could easily be used to discriminate against entire groups of people. Legalized exclusion.

And by the way, anyone around here heard of separation of church and state?

Beyond that, I don’t even understand these positions in terms of the workplace. If you believe that gay marriage is wrong, don’t marry someone of the same sex. But how is taking money from someone who is married to a person of the same sex against your religion? You’re a business set up to provide a product or service in exchange for money, they’re asking you to provide that product or service in exchange for money. Their legal tender money, not their gay money.

And how can someone be sure that they’re not doing business with people of whose lifestyle they disapprove? Should we all have to fill out a personal questionnaire before we’re allowed to order coffee?
1. Are you gay? Sorry, no coffee.
2. Are you affiliated with a religion other than that of the proprietor? Sorry, no coffee.
3. Have you lived with someone before marriage? Sorry, no coffee.
4. Have you ever accepted government assistance? Sorry, no coffee.
5. Are you a high school drop out? Sorry, no coffee.
6. Are you of mixed race? Sorry, no coffee.
7. Have you ever been accused of a crime? Gotten a parking ticket? Sorry, no coffee.
8. Have you ever lied? Sorry, no coffee.
9. Got an overdue library book? Unpaid fines? Sorry, no coffee.
10. Do you like Limoncello Cookies? Sorry, no coffee.

Seems to me we’re going to end up a far less caffeinated society.

My bottom line is this: if the love of a person whose identity includes a religious affiliation is stronger than the love of that institution for all who seek to worship, there is something truly wrong here. We, as the human beings who make up organized religions, have lost our way.

Religion is a blanket not a sword.

 

 
 
PS: I'm all over the place this week. Where you can read more by me:
My recipe roundup Fifty Recipes: Mother's Day All Day was published on The Huffington Post Taste.
My piece Ancestry: Do you Really Want to Know Who you are? was published on BLUNTmoms.
My post Holding On While Letting Go was published on Felicity Huffman's website What The Flicka?

Limoncello Cookies

                                                            ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 stick butter, softened
1 stick margarine, softened
¾ cups sugar
¼ cup brown sugar
1 egg
1 tsp lemon extract
¼ cup limoncello
2 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
¼ tsp salt
3 TBSP white sugar
2 TBSP yellow colored sugar
Directions:
*Cream the butter, margarine and sugars until smooth. Beat in the egg, lemon extract and limoncelo. Beat in the flour, baking soda and salt starting at the lowest speed until the dry ingredients are incorporated.
*Wrap dough in plastic wrap and refrigerate for one hour.
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cover baking sheets in parchment paper.
*Mix together the 3 TBSP white sugar and 2 TBSP yellow colored sugar.
*Roll the dough into approximately ½ inch balls. Dip the top of each dough ball into the sugar mixture. Place on the parchment paper, sugar side up.
*Bake for 11 - 13 minutes. Remove from baking sheet to cool completely.

Head of the Year

It’s difficult to be different in the Midwest.  I’ve found the prevailing attitude to be “you are in the majority or you are wrong”.  When I was new to my neighborhood I was at a pool party with a group of neighbors, mostly “lifers”, and we were talking about living here. I said that I wished there was more diversity.  Life is so much more interesting when we’re exposed to different people: be it color, political party, religion, sexual preference, ethnic backgrounds. Here everyone is the same. “That’s what we like about it” they all agreed except Lisa (also not from here).  Thank goodness for Lisa.

True story: When my son was little, he and I were talking about diversity and I said that I thought it was sad that he was the only Jew in his whole school and that there are no Black people at all. He said that, in fact, he had a friend in his class who is Black. I knew this wasn’t true, I was the Head Room-Mom and I knew every kid by name. The next day I watched intently as the class got out to see if maybe there was someone new.  Then I realized that he was talking about an Indian boy in his class, he didn’t know the difference. That was a sad day for me.

We’ve been involved in groups through the Temple and through Chabad, but we don’t belong to a Temple here and my kids haven’t been through religious school.  I'm surprised at and don't approve of what's required here; being forced to divulge our income and tithe a chunk in order to join a religious community.  So my children have been raised with the traditions almost exclusively.  I’ve enjoyed practicing them and have learned quite a bit about them myself.

This Sunday night is the beginning of Rosh Hashanah and I love this holiday.  It’s the Jewish New Year, "rosh" meaning “head” and "hashanah" is “the year”.  There are 2 traditions that are so rich in symbolism and meaning as to make this a special time.  First, we make and give out honey cakes.  Honey is used to symbolize our wish for a sweet year ahead.  But the tradition is not just one of giving, although that alone would be meaningful. The tradition is to give and to receive. We all acknowledge that we should be people capable of giving.  On this day we also acknowledge our vulnerability, we are people who sometimes have to swallow our pride and be capable of receiving.

When my kids were in elementary school we always chose their teachers as recipients of our honey cakes. I’d print up a short note explaining what we were giving them and why. I had an ulterior motive, however. This was my “heads up, you’ve got a kid in your class who is different from the rest”.

The other tradition I love is tashlich.  Yom Kippur, The Day of Atonement, is right around the corner. That's the day we fast and atone for our sins of the previous year and ask G-d to put us in the “Book of Life” for the coming year.  In preparation for that solemn day, on Rosh Hashanah we perform tashlich.  We take bread, go to a flowing water source, and throw in pieces of the bread.  We are symbolically casting away our sins of the past year, starting to think about how we can be better people next year.

In terms of our religion, the time that has been the most difficult for us here has been the month of December.  My kids' teachers have always been amazingly open minded, but their school district is sadly not.  When the boys were in elementary school, I was invited by almost every teacher to do a Chanukah presentation. I made sure that my presentation was about traditions not religion. I’d buy a fun Chanukah traditions book, read it to the class, then donate it to the teacher.  I’d show them how we light the menorah and I’d bring donuts as a snack (fried foods are a tradition on Chanukah).  I’d divide the class into groups and teach them to play the dreidel game using candies that I brought and then left for the class. The kids all loved it and I think got a sense that although my boys were different, they had fun traditions this time of year too.

The school district was a whole other story. The sign in front of the school in December said “Merry Christmas”.  Once my kids could read I asked if it could say “Happy Holidays”.  They chose to take the sentiment down and leave the sign blank instead of changing the letters. 

Once when we were celebrating a holiday where we couldn’t eat bread, the school had a Dairy Queen fundraiser night planned.  My kids were proud of the fact that they had attended every one of these “eat out” fundraisers and were in line for recognition for having done so.  When I spoke to the Principal (way in advance), I was told “so what if it’s a holiday, you still have to eat, don’t you?”  My response: “Do you go to Dairy Queen on Christmas?”  He later told me that the evening couldn’t be changed because DQ couldn’t accommodate any other night.  I went into DQ and they were shocked, they could have and would have happily changed the day had they known.

At the substantial risk of angering most of my readership I may as well take the opportunity to say this too.  I DO NOTwant to take the Christ out of Christmas.  I couldn’t, but I wouldn’t even if I could.  I appreciate your desire to celebrate all of the traditions you grew up with, but hear this:  Anyone who says “happy holidays” to you is not conspiring to alter or change your religion.  They are just trying to include everyone who celebrates anything this time of year into their good wishes, you as well.  It’s not meant as an affront either to your religion or to you personally.

If I know that you are Christian and I’m talking to you, I’ll always say “Merry Christmas”, it’s my way of acknowledging you as an individual.  If I’m talking to someone in a store, or a group of people, I won’t say “can you each tell me what religion you practice so I can tailor my wishes to you each individually”.  I’ll just say “Happy Holidays”. There’s no hidden agenda, it’s meant to be respectful, nothing more nothing less.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been wished a merry Christmas.  How many times have you been wished a happy Chanukah? Kwanzaa? Bodhi Day? Yalda? Ashura? And I’m so sick of hearing that wishing everyone a happy whatever-they-may-celebrate is somehow a vast conspiracy to take Christ out of Christmas. It is just plain not.

So now that I’ve alienated the vast majority of my followers (I’ll have to check, I may be down to one or two now) let me just say to those of you who are left: I hope your beliefs, be they celebrated in a building and in a structured way or just traditions in your home, provide you with direction and clarity and hope and comfort and compassion.  In December, and every other month of the year for that matter, when you come across peo0ple who are different from you, I hope that you too will find that it does not diminish your beliefs at all to wish them well in theirs.