I hadn't set out to do it, the day I broke one of the most basic rules of the sorority of sisterhood: do not play with another woman's husband.
Does it matter that she was there, laughing (out loud, literally) as she watched the whole affair unfold? I'll leave that to you to decide.
In fact, it started like any other lazy Sunday in late September. My boys would both be at dinner that night and I had a new experimental recipe on my mind, one to celebrate the upcoming official beginning ofHalloween month October.
Does it matter that she was there, laughing (out loud, literally) as she watched the whole affair unfold? I'll leave that to you to decide.
In fact, it started like any other lazy Sunday in late September. My boys would both be at dinner that night and I had a new experimental recipe on my mind, one to celebrate the upcoming official beginning of
Pecan Crusted Chicken with Pumpkin Thyme Sauce
I decided to take a peek at facebook and that's where it all began.
"Wait", you're thinking, "it's October. You're supposed to post something Halloweeny, something creepy, something scary. What are you doing posting a confession?"
Creepy? Scary? I'm getting there. Bear with me.
Because what I saw on Facebook, the thing that precipitated this whole involvement? Well let me tell you friends, it was mighty scary.
My friend's husband had posted a picture. One, sadly, I cannot un-see. Now I can describe the picture, but it's best, if you want to truly understand how this all proceeded, that you see it yourself. Click HERE. Go ahead, I'll wait right here.
Did you see it? Guy standing in traffic with his bicycle and wearing a thong. Yes, just a thong. Well, a headband on top and socks and sneakers on the bottom but covering the whole rather voluminous middle? Just a thong.
See? I promised you scary.
Now I could have just laughed and moved on. Probably should have just laughed and moved on, but it turns out that not only had he shared the picture, but below it, Darrell (who is an author, btw, you can buy his book HERE) posted a poem:
He wore a thong outside that day,
he wore it to the beach.
When he walked in front of me,
his butt looked like a peach.
he wore it to the beach.
When he walked in front of me,
his butt looked like a peach.
He wore a thong outside that day,
he wore it to the beach.
When he walked in front of me,
I couldn't help but screech.
He wore a thong outside that day,
it seems with no rebuke.
When he walked in front of me,
I couldn't help but puke.
Now had it ended there we would not be talking about my transgressions. But it seems Darrell and I agree on one thing, a challenge is a challenge. His turn:
His wife joined him in a thong also,
I had to tell this tale.
His wife came with an ass my friends,
that was bigger than a whale.
Although I'd already broken one cardinal rule of sisterhood, there's a line and making fun of a woman's butt was not a place where I was going (either that or it just hit too close to home, one or the other). So although I did respond, I kept my eye on the prize (so to speak):
His wife saw him in a thong that day,
and had to tell this tale,
"Didn't realize, in the light of day,
his butt was quite that pale."
But Darrell was not to be diverted:
He saw his wife in a thong that day,
he'd known that she was large.
He didn't know when he went to bed
he'd been sleeping with a barge.
Maybe he should have been diverted because it seems we'd gone too far. Duh, duh, daaaaa, the wife interjected:
This poem is fiction. My butt is not a barge. But . . . his is pale.
To which I had one final verbal tryst, a warning of sorts to my partner in crime:
When writing poems publicly,
be clear of whom you don't speak.
Or I'm afraid your sleeping arrangements,
for tonight may be quite bleak.
And from Darrell to his wife:
I was NOT talking about you!!!
Smart guy. Clearly wants to stay married.
PS: Thanks to Dawn and Darrell for a fun Sunday. And for giving me permission to share this story here on the blog.
PPS: Stay tuned, Poetry Wars, the Sequel (yes, there's a part two) is coming up on this blog next week.
Pecan Crusted Chicken with Pumpkin Thyme Sauce
©www.BakingInATornado.comPrintable Recipe
Ingredients:
3 boneless skinless chicken breasts
3/4 cup flour
1 egg beaten with 3 TBSP water
1 stack (about 30 crackers) Ritz crackers
1 cup pecan pieces
1/2 stick butter, melted
1 cup chicken broth
1 clove minced garlic
1/4 cup pureed pumpkin
1/3 cup orange preserves
1/4 tsp dried thyme
dash of nutmeg
Directions:
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 9 X 13 casserole dish.
*Place the crackers and pecan pieces in a food processor to crush, then place on a plate.
*Cut each chicken breast into equal size pieces. I usually get 3 pieces per breast. You may choose to pound the chicken a little first to make the pieces more unified in thickness.
*Dip each chicken piece in flour, then in the egg wash, then press all sides into the pecan mix to coat.
*Place chicken pieces into casserole dish, drizzle the melted butter over the top.
*Bake for 45 minutes or until the chicken is fully cooked and the crust is browned.
*Just before the chicken is ready, whisk together the chicken broth, minced garlic, pumpkin, preserves, thyme and nutmeg in a small pot. Heat to boiling over medium high heat and boil, whisking, for 2 minutes. Serve beside or drizzled over the chicken.
