Done That: Secret Subject Swap

 

 

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This month 5 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. Read through mine and at the bottom you’ll find links to all of today’s other Secret Subject participants.

My subject is: You see someone walking ahead of you on a small path in a local park. Suddenly they stop, turn around, run straight to you and say "I know what you did."
It was submitted by: Jenniy of Climaxed.
 

 

 

Well, the first thing that comes to mind as you're running straight towards me is that maybe I need to rethink that whole buying a taser thing. But what also comes to mind is a question, "which thing that I did are we talking about?"

Because, like most people, I've done a thing or two. And as far as which thing exactly it is that you know, the options are endless.

OK, maybe not endless, but "copious" might be a good word.

Like, are you talking about: 

 

~ The time I got my mother's new car stolen? If so, who cares that you know? The empty garage was a dead give-away, and the whole story already came out anyway. In court.

~ The time the fire truck came screeching up to our house thinking I'd been hit by lightening? I hadn't been, I just jumped into a cigarette when the lightening hit our house (the second time, not the first time)?

 

~ The time I, as an exhausted new mom, I was so busy arranging the groceries in the trunk of my car I didn't realize that the cart with my toddler in it had rolled away in the parking lot?

~ The time, while the feds were investigating me, I found our pot plant cut off at the stem and laying in the parking lot directly below my deck?

~ The time I forgot the cake in the oven and almost burned the house down? Come on, tell me you've never done that yourself . . .

Mixed Berry Chocolate Chip Cake

 

~ The time I went parasailing in Cancun and almost got dropped onto the roof of the hotel? Technically mom said no skydiving, and technically I wasn't sky diving . . .

 

~ The time I walked up to the high school with the spare key and moved PurDude's car to a different spot? Listen, that kid did take that car from me the minute he got his license (and then kept it for 8 years, btw), but it was legitimately mine. And, admit it, it was funny (well, in retrospect, it would have been a lot less funny if he'd have called the police instead of me).

 

~ The time I gave the finger to another parent in the pick-up line at the elementary school? He did deserve it. Truth.

 

~ The time I got into an argument with a state trooper?

  

~ The time I snuck into the men's room at the crowded bar? Have you seen the lines outside the lady's rooms?

~ The time I had my last joint stolen from me by the cops? Well, that first date was a last date.

 

Anyway . . .

 

. . . two things you need to know if you ever run towards me in a park: first, you better be wearing a mask, and second, when it comes to accusations, you need to be specific. 'Cause I've done a thing or two.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver 

Climaxed 

Part-time Working Hockey Mom

A 'lil HooHaa

Mixed Berry Chocolate Chip Cake        

                                                                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

6 oz mixed berry yogurt

5 TBSP blackberry jam, divided

1 box yellow cake mix

1/3 cup oil

1/2 cup mixed berry juice 

1/2 cup milk

4 eggs

1 1/4 cup mini chocolate chips, divided

1 tsp flour

1 container (16 oz) vanilla frosting

1 TBSP unsweetened baking cocoa

2 TBSP heavy cream, divided

 

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour two 9-inch cake pans.

*Whisk together the yogurt and 2 TBSP of the blackberry jam. Beat this mixture with the yellow cake mix, oil, juice, milk, and eggs for 2 minutes. Toss 3/4 cup of the mini chocolate chips with the flour and mix into the batter.

*Pour into the prepared pans and bake for about 25 minutes, until the center springs back to the touch. Allow to sit in the pans for 10 minutes.

*Run a knife around the edge of the cake pans and remove the cakes. Place one layer onto a serving plate and the other onto a piece of parchment paper. Allow to cool completely.

*Once the cakes are cool, place about 1/3 of the frosting into a bowl, whisk in the baking cocoa and 1 TBSP heavy cream. Frost the top of the bottom layer of the cake. Top with the second layer.

*Whisk together the remaining frosting, the remaining 3 TBSP blackberry jam and the remaining 1 TBSP heavy cream. Frost the top and sides of the cake. Sprinkle with the remaining mini chocolate chips.

 

Secret Subject Swap: All the Wine

Welcome a Secret Subject Swap. This month 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. Read through mine and at the bottom you’ll find links to all of today’s other Secret Subject participants.

My subject is: How much wine could a stressed out mom drink if a stressed out mom could drink wine? 
It was submitted by: Not That Sarah Michelle.

Have I told you lately, Sarah, how much I love the way you think?

You'd think a riddle like this would be hard to answer, but not so much. 

All the wine.

That was a short post.

Actually, I started this blog to relieve stress. It's a way to completely engage my mind for a while and not think about whatever fresh hell my kids conjuring up that I need an emotional respite from. I also said that this is why I bake. And drink.

My mom didn't really like that I kept saying that. I'm sure she felt as though people were thinking that I drink so much I slosh when I walk. This isn't true, of course, I don't. Sometimes I eat my wine.

Berry Sangria Cake

I want to be careful here because alcoholism is a disease, a heartbreaking one. A serious one. And sometimes a fatal one. It hasn't touched my life but that doesn't mean I'm insensitive to it.

I'm not an alcoholic. I'm lucky because it means that I can use it as a crutch now and then. And I do. 

Sometimes it's just a glass with dinner. Which, if it's red and won't keep, can turn into the necessity of finishing the bottle. 

Sometimes it's just a way to unwind, even ensure I'll get to sleep quicker and sleep well.

But add kids to the equation and you've got a whole plethora of reasons. Many of which I've already written about. Like:

*The time PurDude, with his brand new learner's permit, was stopped in a turn lane waiting to turn and a police car came barreling at him full speed in PurDude's lane. The kid had no choice but to pull over into oncoming traffic.

*The time PurDude (still driving on his learner's permit) was pulled over for suspicion of robbery.

*The time PurDude called me on my birthday to tell me he broke his leg.

*The time PurDude dropped his brand new $600 cell phone into the toilet.

*The time College Boy got in trouble at school for video taping a fight. And then the next year did the exact same thing again.

*The time College Boy clogged the toilet, left the house and texted me at the grocery store to tell me the toilet was clogged.

*The time College Boy decided to turn the space behind his dresser into a trash dump.

*The time College Boy lit my car on fire.

Need I go on? I could . . . 

So to answer the original question, How much wine could a stressed out mom drink if a stressed out mom could drink wine? I'm staying with my original answer. And yes, I speak from experience. All the wine.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup and check them all out. See you there:
 Southern Belle Charm
Not That Sarah Michelle
Spatulas on Parade 
The Bergham Chronicles 
The Diary of an Alzheimer's Caregiver 
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy 
My Brain on Kids  
The Lieber Family Blog 
The Angrivated Mom 
Confessions of a part time working mom 
Climaxed 

Berry Sangria Cake

                                                                          ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
1 1/2 sticks butter, softened
1 1/2 cups sugar
3 eggs, room temperature
1 cup milk
2 tsp vanilla
2 1/2 cups flour
1 (3 oz) box strawberry creme or vanilla instant pudding mix
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp baking powder

 8 oz mixed berries of your choice, rinse and pat dry
1 TBSP sugar
1 TBSP cornstarch 
3 TBSP red wine

 4 oz raspberries

1 1/2 cups heavy cream
2 tsp raspberry or strawberry extract
3 TBSP powdered sugar
1 TBSP red wine

  Directions:
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9 X 13 baking pan.
*Beat the butter with the sugar until smooth. Beat in the eggs, milk and vanilla, then lastly the flour, pudding mix, salt and baking powder.
*Spread evenly into prepared pan and bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until the center springs back to the touch. Allow to cool completely.
*While the cake is baking, place the 8 oz of mixed berries in a pan on the stove with 1 TBSP sugar and 1 TBSP red wine. Use a whisk to stir and to break down the berries while heating on medium high. Bring to a boil. Allow to boil for one minute, then lower the heat to low.
*Mix the cornstarch with 1 TBSP cold wine. Whisk into the berry mixture and continue whisking for one minute. Remove from heat. Mix in the 1 TBSP of wine. Push through a strainer, discarding the seeds. Allow to cool completely.
*Rinse the raspberries and pat dry. Count them. Using a thick utensil, like the back of a wooden spoon, poke as many holes in the cake as you have raspberries. Be sure not to poke all the way to the bottom of the baking pan. Push a raspberry down into each hole.
*Using a smaller utensil, like a chopstick, poke about 20 to 30 small holes in the cake around the raspberries.
*Slowly pour the wine and fruit mixture over the cake and, using a spatula, manipulate the liquid into the holes. Place in the fridge while making the topping.
*Beat cream until soft peaks form. Beat in the extract and powdered sugar and wine. Continue beating until firm peaks hold.
*Frost cake. Cover and store in refrigerator.

No Go

10 . . .
    9 . . .
         8 . . .
            7 . . .  
                6 . . .
                     5 . . .
                         4 . . .
                              3 . . .
                                  2 . . .
                                      STOP!

Stop the countdown, I want off of this ride.

If you read this blog at all, it’s no surprise that my baby graduated high school a month ago and is preparing to go to college in about (gasp) 6 weeks. A college that is (sob) 600 miles away.

It’s also no surprise that I’m not doing well with this upcoming change. I’ve talked to him about home schooling and I’ve even threatened to considered getting an apartment in West Lafayette. So far this kid is still on track, however, to move forward with his plans. Seems he got his stubbornness from his mom.

So now I’m getting desperate. I’m bringing out the big guns. I realize that I’ve approached this all wrong. I’ve been appealing to his heart. This is a really smart kid, time to appeal to his brain. So I’m back. And this time using logic.

Ten reasons why you should not go away to college, son:

* What if Indiana secedes from the union? I know you’re willing to live in another state, but with exchange rates, electrical voltage differences, and a new language to learn, are you really prepared to live in another country?

* West Lafayette is a pretty rural area. Plenty of room for a space ship to land. You don’t want to be beamed up and used for scientific research, do you?

*I know how much you love your little BMW and Indiana is not a safe place to drive. I hear they go over 150 miles an hour. In big circles. For like 3 hours.

* I’ve been looking into some local laws and it seems that in Indiana it’s illegal to catch a fish with dynamite, a gun, a bow and arrow or even your bare hands. I know you don’t fish but it’s the whole principle of the thing. You go to college to have your options expanded not limited, right?

*I’m very concerned about your safety. What if the Flying Monkeys from The Wizard of Oz have a GPS failure and end up in Indiana?

Lemon Berry Bread

*The Tooth Fairy won’t be able to find you.

*Seriously? The Colts? Are you trying to kill me?

*I called the school but it seems that no one there is willing to use you as a Guinea Pig bake new dessert recipes for you to try. I just don’t know how you’re going to adjust to that.

*While I had the school on the phone, I asked who would be in charge of doing your laundry. You may want to sit down for this . . . you’d have to do your own. Deal breaker, right.

*What if all that chicken fat DOES go away and it goes to Indiana? Then you’ll be stuck in Indiana doggy paddling through chicken fat.

Intelligent, well thought out arguments, that’s the way to go with this kid. So. . . I kept the receipt, can I return the trunk now?

      

Lemon Berry Bread

                                             ©www.BakingInATornado.com


Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
6 TBSP butter, softened
1 cup white sugar
2 eggs
3 TBSP lemon juice 
1 1/2 cups lemon yogurt
2 cups flour
¼ tsp salt
1 ½ tsp baking powder
1 ½ cups mixed berries
1 TBSP flour
 
1 TBSP lemon juice
1 TBSP water
½ cup powdered sugar
 
Directions:
*Grease loaf pan. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
*Rinse and dry the berries. Chop or slice the larger ones. Mix with the 1 TBSP flour.
*Cream the butter and white sugar. Beat in the eggs, 3 TBSP lemon juice and yogurt.
*Mix in the flour, salt and baking powder just until incorporated. Gently mix in the berries.
*Spread into the loaf pan, building up the sides just a little and bake for approximately 55 to 65 minutes or until the center of the top springs back to the touch. Cool for 10 minutes in the loaf pan.
*Wisk together the 1 TBSP lemon juice, 1 TBSP water and ½ cup powdered sugar.
*Remove the bread from pan, drizzle with the topping and allow to cool completely.