Counting Teeth and Traveling Toilets: Fly on the Wall

Welcome to our monthly Fly on the Wall, a blog post written in snippets. Marcia, Diane, Sarah, and I invite you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes, at our writing desks, and in our worlds. Come on in, buzz around, see what we've been up to. Bet you laugh! 

I knew I was going to use the grill for dinner, so I went out in the morning to uncover it. I hadn't yet dressed, was only wearing a long t-shirt and my underwear, but it was really early so I didn't think twice.

The ties on the grill cover are really low. I bent down to undo one side, then went over to do the other. When I stood back up, I was mortified.

Hubs saw me coming back into the kitchen.

Hubs: What were you doing out on the deck so early?

Me: Apparently, mooning the neighbors.

And now I won't be leaving the house anytime soon. Or ever.

College boy has a day job and a side gig. The day job really was a toxic environment. He had been there over 2 years, but one day he'd just had enough and gave his notice. They tried to get him to stay, but he was done.

Within a week he had 3 offers, and we were going through the pros and cons, talking it through with him as he made his choice. We talked about the companies, the culture, the pay, and the position itself.

We were also talking about the dress codes, some companies more casual than others.

College Boy (referring to one of the companies, a drug company): Well, I won't have to worry about what I wear there, they said that they'll provide a full body hazmat suit.

Me: That one's a NO.

College Boy: But . . .

Me (interrupting him): No, nope, that's a HARD no.

I probably don't need to tell you that we're into the height of pothole season. And Hubs? He hits every single one.

We were out on a Saturday afternoon when Hubs hit what felt like a meteor crater.

Me: Oof.

Hubs: You OK?

Me (with my fingers in my mouth): mgfffthf.

Hubs (looking at me): What are you doing?
Me: Counting my teeth.

I was sitting out on my front porch when I saw this woman walk by. She was holding a rope that was attached to a tricycle that was trailing right behind her. 

And I spent the rest of the day wondering how long it was going to take her to turn around and realize that somewhere along the way she lost the kid.

College Boy had asked if he could store some stuff in our garage. I agreed that he could have one large box, but I don't want him filling that whole third garage with junk. And PurDude parks there, so when he comes to visit, he'll need to move that stuff out or to one of the storage rooms in the basement.

I was on my way out to do an errand when I saw that his box was piled high, with more stuff behind and beside it. I wasn't happy.

I was at the drug store waiting in line to pay, when he apparently had seen my car out front and came in. As he was walking towards me, I looked up:

Me (angrily): You're out of your box.

College Boy: Sorry, I'll head home.

Woman in line behind me (looking back and forth between College Boy and I) to College Boy, angrily: She keeps you in a box?

Me: Well, where do you keep your grown children?

Lemon Strawberry Refrigerator Bars

There's a page that often ends up in my FB feed that promotes unique ideas and solutions for everyday occurrences. Many of them are fascinating, or helpful. But often they're what I would call way too far off the deep end.

This one at first had me cringing, but honestly, I've been laughing ever since.

Apparently it's a genius idea for how to eat your snacks on a plane? 

Ummm, yeah, I'm gonna take a hard pass on wearing a toilet.

I've mentioned before that a few times a year, PurDude and his college friends, now scattered across the country, plan a vacation together. Mostly it's within the states, but the last one was to Japan.

My son knows that I like to have his itinerary whenever he travels. This month they were going to Seattle. A few days before leaving, he texted me:

PurDude: Here's my flight information, Mom, I leave the day after tomorrow.

Me: Can't wait to hear about the trip, are you packed?

PurDude (who does nothing in advance): No, not yet.

Me: Not surprised. Looks like it's a long fight, don't forget to bring your toilet seat on the plane.

PurDude: My toilet seat?

Me: In case you want to have a snack on the plane.

PurDude: I think you need your meds adjusted.

Me: Maybe . . .

 

Speaking of toilets. Found this cereal on the Walmart website, and I just want to say . . . well, I actually don't know what to say.

I do have a lot of questions, though.

It always surprises me when people use words just for emphasis without any thought to what they mean.

I was watching a true crime show where a woman was confronting her husband about rumors she'd heard about him cheating with a woman about half his age.

Cheater (to his wife): You think I'm cheating? With her? She's literally 100 years younger than me.

I'm pretty sure he doesn't understand the concept of "literally." 

Seriously!

The fly was witness to some sadness this month too.

I enjoy all of the friendships I've made via this blog and the social media accounts I've created in support of my writing. One of those long time virtual friends is Barb. She interacts on my Baking In A Tornado FB page daily. We're friends on our private FB accounts too, our politics and social justice views align perfectly.

I hadn't heard from her for a few days, so I sent her a PM, just checking in to be sure she was OK. Her grandson answered. She wasn't.

The next morning, I shared a post on the Baking In A Tornado page. I was careful neither to tag her page, or even to mention her last name. I didn't want to step on the family's toes.

So I shared this graphic 

and said:

"Heartbroken today after a PM conversation last night with the grandson of a woman who had been so active on this page for years. We traded silly poems every day as she responded with her own funny rhymes to all of my Connections poems. I've SO enjoyed her sharp wit, intelligence, social stance, and fun word pay. I never met her, but I will miss Barb so much. My heart goes out to her family."

That day, my post was reacted to and commented on by member of my FB page community, many people who knew Barb via interactions there. 

The second day more people reacted. When I looked at the list of names, I jolted.

Barb.

I don't know who in her family saw my post, or how they saw it, but they used her account to "like" it. After I got over the initial shock, I had a wave of sadness. 

But in the end, I smiled.

 

Now click on the links below and see what my friends have to share:

Menopausal Mother 

On the Border 

What TF Sarah

Lemon Strawberry Refrigerator Bars

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

14 lemon creme sandwich cookies, divided

14 strawberry creme sandwich cookies, divided

2 TBSP butter, chopped

1 box (3 oz) strawberry jello mix

1 box (3.4 oz) instant lemon pudding mix

OPT: 2 drops yellow food coloring

1 3/4 cups milk

1 (8 oz) package cream cheese, room temperature

3/4 cup powdered sugar, divided

3/4 cup heavy cream

OPT: lemon peel twists and a halved strawberry for garnish

Directions

*Grease an 8 X 11 baking dish.

*In a food processor, crush 6 of each of the cookie to crumbs. Set aside.

*Crush the remaining cookies with the butter until it holds together when pinched with your fingers. Press into the bottom of the baking dish. Refrigerate.

*Boil 1 cup of water. Add the strawberry jello mix and stir to dissolve. Refrigerate.

*Whisk the lemon pudding mix with the milk (and yellow food coloring, if desired) for 2 minutes. Set aside.

*Beat the cream cheese and 1/2 cup of the powdered sugar until smooth. Beat in 1 1/4 cups of the pudding.

*Separately, beat the heavy cream with the remaining powdered sugar until stiff peaks hold. Fold 1 cup of the whipped cream into the cream cheese mixture. Spread over the cookies in the baking pan, sprinkle with about 2/3 of the reserved cookie crumbs, and refrigerate for 15 minutes. 

*Remove 1/4 cup of the whipped cream and refrigerate. Fold the remaining whipped cream into the remaining lemon pudding and refrigerate separately.

*Once the lemon layer is set, whisk the reserved 1/4 cup of whipped cream into the jello. Pour evenly over the lemon layer and refrigerate for 10 minutes.

*Remove the remaining whipped cream and pudding mix from the refrigerator and spread over the jello layer. Top with the rest of the reserved cookie crumbs (and lemon peel curls and strawberry halves, if desired). Refrigerate for at least 3 hours before slicing, but overnight is best. Cover and refrigerate any leftovers. 

No Scream Lemon Blackberry Ice Cream

 

I scream, you scream . . .

Oh hell, it's August, in case you didn't notice, it's too damn hot out to scream. Or do pretty much anything else, and I'm a summer person. But being land locked has taken a whole lot of the fun out of summer. Days at the beach are not an option.

But cold dinners, frozen cocktails, and refreshing desserts, those are all great summer options.

Before I go on, I should tell you that I'm not a use every pan in the kitchen and take all day to cook or bake kind of person. Quick, easy, minimal clean up is usually the way to go.

Maybe I'm traumatized. I had a boy friend, just after college, whose mom was Italian. He didn't cook, but decided one day to make me some of her recipes, a big Italian dinner (yay). I offered to help, but he pushed me out of the kitchen, told me not to come back while he was cooking. He'd cook, if I wanted to help, I could do the dishes. OK.

Or not OK. I didn't see him for the rest of the entire day. And don't get me wrong, dinner was delicious, but the clean up? He used every pan in the kitchen and some I didn't even know I had. There was food dripping from the wall, hanging from the ceiling, covering the floor. 

I think it was about seventeen hours later (I may be exaggerating a tad), when I had my kitchen at least somewhat back to functional.  

Fine, so maybe not traumatized really, more inspired (yeah, let's go with that). 

It was at that time that there was a show on TV called Semi-Homemade Cooking. I loved the concept. I'm neither a foodie nor a snob, if there's an easier, less messy, reduced clean up way to cook, I'm in. It's not always about the process (although I admit that sometimes it is), it's about the taste.

Maybe, like me, you're someone who's taken a cake mix and enhanced it to make it your own, more moist and flavorful. You can substitute butter or milk, or add extra eggs, sour cream, yogurt, pudding, fruits, nuts, baking chips . . .

Anyway, all of this came full circle for me on one recent hot summer day. Everyone wanted ice cream after dinner, but I couldn't find exactly what I wanted. Actually, I couldn't find anything close to what I wanted.

No need to scream. 

I, like so many others, have made a number of flavors of no churn ice cream. When Little Debbie and Hudsonville collaborated to make ice cream but did not initially use my favorite snack as one of their flavors, I did it myself. My Fudge Rounds Ice Cream is still a popular recipe and family favorite.

But on this day, I was hot and tired. I didn't want to do a lot of work, create a lot of clean up, or take a whole lot of time. That's when I realized I could take inspiration from that cake mix. I didn't need to start from scratch. 

I'd enhance.

Lemon Blackberry Ice Cream

 

And that's exactly what I did. I grabbed some vanilla ice cream, that's my cake mix here. Just two other ingredients would make that base ice cream a whole new treat. Fifteen minutes to prepare, one bowl used, an hour in the freezer, and that's it. 

Delicious, if I do say so myself (and I do).

Let them eat cake? Hell, yeah, I'm all for it. But don't forget the Lemon Blackberry Ice Cream.

Lemon Blackberry Ice Cream         

                                                                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 (48 oz) carton vanilla ice cream

12 lemon cream sandwich cookies

3/4 cup seedless, sugar free, blackberry jam

Directions:

*Place the ice cream in a large bowl on the counter for about 10 minutes to soften.

*Chop the cookies. Once the ice cream has started to soften, mix the cookies into the ice cream.

*Pour the jam over the ice cream and using a knife, cut the jam into the ice cream.

*Place the ice cream into the freezer for at least an hour. Store, covered, in the freezer.

Rena: Mourning to Missing

 

A month and a half. It has been 45 days.

Not that I've been counting. Not in the literal sense, anyway. But when I started this post, that number at the top had been 3. It had been 3 days.

I wasn't ready.

Day after day, I changed the number and moved this draft to a further date on my posting calendar.

Friends sent me messages, asked if I'd be writing something. I told them the truth. I wasn't ready. 

I was starting to think I might never be ready. Maybe I couldn't do her justice, or maybe I just couldn't face it head on, the finality. But it nagged at me, the feeling that I would regret never having acknowledged her loss, paid tribute to who she was, and just how much so many of us have been cheated of experiencing with her in the future. So I set a date. Today. Forty-five days to gather my thoughts and do my best.

I've moved through some of the stages of grief, others linger. I'm not mad at her any more, but I can't get past the regret. The wanting a do-over. For her, of course, but for me too. Because I should have pushed harder.

Rena and I had been friends in the blogging world for about 10 years. She joined in almost all of the challenges I ran, but our bond was about so much more. We bounced ideas off of each other, helped each other with projects, shared our lives and our thoughts and our secrets with each other.

Rena died on March 18th. 

The day after she died, I posted our last conversations in a private FB group full of mutual friends.

I said:

{{Through the tears, I've given this a lot of thought and decided to share here because I know that in this group, Rena was loved and supported. She was a sharer, I believe she would have approved.}}

Friday morning 3/17:

Me: How are you this morning? Did you sleep?
Rena: Not too good last night, I had to cancel hip doctor, wasn't up to it. Very shaky and weak today.

Me: Low blood pressure?

Rena: Yes 80/68

Me: Did you eat?

Rena: Yes.

Me: Take it slow and easy. Did your doctor assess whether any of your anxiety meds could lower your blood pressure?

Rena: I'm going to doctor at 3 and I'm going to pack a bag for the hospital.

Me: I hope it doesn't come to that. Let me know what happens when you can.

Friday afternoon:
Rena: I'm at home. They pushed my oxygen up. He wants me to go back in the hospital.

Me: If he wants you to go back in, maybe you should. It will take a while to work out the right mix of oxygen and meds, and that is best done in the hospital where you can be closely monitored. I know you don't want to go, but think it through, talk to your husband, make a medically sound decision.

Rena: Probably go in the morning. We will see. That's exactly what he said. We had already packed a bag.

Me: I'm surprised you didn't go, I assumed you packed the bag because you planned to go if the doctor recommended it. I want you to just get this over with. Get the conditions under control, the meds and oxygen at optimal levels, and be able to move on. I don't think, if there are issues, you are better off at home, scaring yourself and scaring and stressing your husband. I think you're better off in the hospital until you are stabilized. Did you just not want to go today because it's Pat's birthday? I kinda get that.

{{it's eating at me, how much I want to take that last part back.}}

Rena: Yes, and it's cold and rainy. I was freezing and just wanted to get under my blankets. It's been pouring all day. Mostly because it's his birthday, and I know he's been waiting on KY to play tonight.

Me: Please take it easy.

Saturday morning 3/18:
Me: How are you this morning? Any decision about the hospital?

{{Rena died way too soon. But she died in her own home, in her own bed, and with the man she adored for over 30 years. That's going to have to be enough. Not today, but some day, for all of us who have loved her, that's going to have to be enough.}}

Rena and I talked almost every day. And the day before, we also had a conversation. One I'd like to finish now.

Thursday, March 16:

Rena: I'm concerned, my BP is 90/64 today.

Me: Be careful getting up. Did you call the doctor? Is the nurse coming in today?
Rena: No, I go to the doctor tomorrow. My daughter told me to eat something. I want to take a shower.

Me: I'd eat something, then wait a bit, I'm not sure standing in the shower is a good idea at this point.

Rena: I have a seat. I'm out now, it's up to 97/62.

Me: Better. Maybe you should leave something beside your bed to eat in the morning before you get up.

Rena: That's a good idea. Some club crackers or something.

Me: One of those packets of peanut butter crackers might be a good idea.

Rena: I hate peanut butter. Don't like chocolate, coffee, or cheese.

Me: What? I was thinking peanut butter for a bit of protein. Maybe get a package of individually wrapped protein bars that don't have any pb or chocolate in them. My son has an oats and honey flavor, but there are many other flavors too, just be sure they are the protein ones.

Rene: Ha, ha, don't like oats either.

Me: Who ARE you? 

She didn't answer, of course. She wasn't meant to. But today I'm going to try to answer for her. 

Rena was a woman of passions, her family was first and foremost. 

Alzheimer's awareness was another. Rena and I both lost a parent to Alzheimer's, but she nurtured, protected, and took care of her mother for years as Alzheimer's progressed inch by inch. Awareness was so important to her that she started the blog The Diary of an Alzheimer's Caregiver. 

The third was her mission to empower women through helping them spotlight their voice. She started a business supporting people in maximizing and perfecting their vision for their blogs. But more than that, if you weren't a client and had a question, she answered. Period.

Rena often told me I was her closest friend on line, but (to myself) I laughed, betting she said that to many people. Because Rena's superpower was supporting, spreading warmth, sharing her love with everyone in her world.

She had a moral compass that was unwavering, was furious about the division in this country, the state of our politics. But most of all, she was offended by the bigotry, the hatred, the lies, the abuse of power, the moral degradation and manipulation. And she ranted against it. Loudly. Often.

Rena was a genuine person, she worked hard to overcome, but never to hide, a painful childhood and a life altering accident as an adult. Despite physical limitations and emotional trauma, she made the choice to be a person who spoke the truth, grew and changed, helped where she could, railed against injustice. She shared unabashedly, reached out when she knew she was in needed, and returned the favor without question.

I grappled with whether or not to include a recipe today. But Rena, who confessed to not being a cook (and having inherited that from her mom), had, over the past few years, started to embrace the kitchen. And the garden. She was growing her own fruits and vegetables, more every year, and had started to see the fun in playing with recipes.

So for today I did decide to develop a recipe. Lemon Blueberry Crinkles. They're bold and soft, sweet and tart, complex and simple. My tribute to a friend who was all that and so much more.

Lemon Blueberry Crinkles

 

The day Rena's daughter offered me her sympathies, I broke a little. But I also broke through. 

I now accept that I will always miss her, may never stop saying to myself "oh, I can't wait to hear what Rena has to say about this . . ." Like trump's indictment, oh, how she would have loved that! But in order for me to do justice to our time together, to the memories and to the friendship, I need to stop associating those thoughts with pain, and accept them as the results of the gift of her friendship.

So, who was Rena? 

She was an empath. She didn't feel FOR you, she felt WITH you. 

Rena was a woman who loved with all of her heart. 

And I would know, I can feel it still.

Lemon Blueberry Crinkles         

                                                                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
6 TBSP butter

1 box lemon cake mix

1/2 tsp lemon zest

1/4 tsp lemon extract

2 eggs

1/4 cup blueberry jam

1/3 cup powdered sugar

Directions:
*Melt the butter. Set aside to cool slightly. Mix together the cake mix, lemon zest, lemon extract, and eggs, then mix in the butter.

*Whisk the jam to loosen it a bit. Pour over the batter and, using a knife, cut in, just until barely incorporated into the dough. Don't completely mix in.

*Enclose the dough in plastic wrap and refrigerate for an hour.

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cover baking sheets with parchment paper. Pour the powdered sugar into a bowl.

*One by one, using wet hand as the dough will be sticky, form the dough into 30 balls about 3/4 inch in diameter. Roll around in the powdered sugar, and place onto the baking sheets. Leave room, the cookies will spread.

*Bake for 12 - 14 minutes, until the cookies have spread and are set. Allow to sit on the baking sheet for 2 minutes before removing to cool completely.

 

 

Hide nor Hare: Word Counters

 

 

Counting my words again. 

Today my fellow Word Counters and I are sharing our monthly group post. Each month one group member picks  a number between 12 and 50. All participating bloggers are then challenged to write something (or a few somethings, as the case may be) using that exact number of words. Today we all share what we came up with. 

 This month's number is 43. 
It was chosen by Diane of On the Border.

As I've been doing in these Word Counters posts, I've chosen a theme and am using my word count multiple times in keeping with the theme. This month I've chosen the theme Missing (i.e., where have all the rabbits gone?).

 

~ I write, each year at this time, about nature, what we see in our yard. I talk about the flowers that grow in my gardens, the trees along the wood line, and the critters (large and small, scary and interesting) who wander about.

 

~ I've written about woodpeckers pecking holes in our siding, costing us hundreds of dollars in repairs each year. I've written about the majestic hawks who come right up and sit on our deck. And the owls who perch on our roofline to hunt.

~ Turkeys who come to visit, sometimes right up to our door. There are geese, deer and fawns, moles who do their own damage, but to our lawn, a fox now and then, possums, moles, raccoons, and the pedestrian rabbits, spiders, squirrels, bees, flies . . .

~ Today, some are missing. I'm not sure why. I went to sit on the back deck today, looked down to see a spider crawling on my leg, decided my three seconds outdoors were enough and came back in. Nope, spiders aren't missing. Figures.

~ My giant bees are. First time I saw them, I ran, screaming. Eventually they'd buzz around me while watering my plants, then follow me on to the next pot. We'd meet daily, they were harmless, friendly even. We got used to each other.

~ Yes, I've been drinking. But that doesn't change the fact that after years of expecting to see them, this year I'm watering alone. Of course the smaller yellow jackets, wasps, and hornets, you know, the ones that sting, they're still around. Of course.

 

Blackberry Lemonade Fizz

~ The strangest thing is the rabbits. Normally, they're everywhere, like the squirrels. We see them all over the lawn, from large rabbits, to tiny babies in nests dug into holes in our lawn, to young ones, scurrying away when we open the door.

~ Rabbits are everywhere in spring. There's a reason they say "breed like rabbits." This spring, we saw none. The woods, the lawn, the gardens, neither hide nor hare. The hares were hiding. Didn't see our first bunny until July, we've seen five since. 

~ We heard of a coyote out back this spring. Supposedly it went after a neighbor, but he (the neighbor, not the coyote) still has all of his body parts (the ones we can see), so he's superman, or that story may be exaggerated. 

 

~ I can see you making the correlation, enter the coyote, exit the rabbits, making a Sherlock Holmes style deduction, that the coyote ate all the rabbits. But every single one? Skipping the squirrels (and the spiders, but they're probably not quite as filling).

~ So where did all the rabbits go? The giant bees, too. And while I'm asking questions, anyone know how to talk a coyote into eating spiders (without getting close to him . . . just in case I happen to look like a roadrunner). Meep meep.

Here are links to the other Word Counters posts:

On the Border 

Messymimi’s Meanderings 

Blackberry Lemonade Fizz  

                                                                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients (makes about 3):

12 blackberries

1 bottle (12 oz) hard lemonade

4 oz vodka

8 oz blackberry lemonade sparkling water 

 

1 cup ice

OPT: blackberries and/or sliced lemon to garnish

Directions:

*In a pitcher, mix together the lemonade and vodka. Add the blackberries and refrigerate for 4 hours.

*Divide the ice into 3 (10 - 12 oz) cocktail glasses. Remove the pitcher from the refrigerator, scoop out the blackberries and add 4 to each glass. 

*Divide the hard lemonade mixture evenly into the 3 glasses. Fill the glasses the rest of the way with the sparkling water. 

*Garnish with blackberries and/or sliced lemon, if desired.