Do the Right Thing: Use Your Words

 

Today’s post is a monthly writing challenge. If you’re new here, this is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once. All of the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s  participating knows who got their words and in what direction the recipient will take them. Until now.

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them. I'm using: wild ~ loops ~ consistency ~ absentee ~ lost ~ Xanax
They were submitted by Jenniy of Climaxed.

                          

A little piece of fiction today. Hopeful fiction, actually. Hopeful because I'd love for it to be fact. I know, actually, that it should be.

Consistency is necessary, he thought. Not concurrence, in this small group of ours. Quite the contrary. Differences is the foundation from which we act here. Intelligent discourse, deep thought. It requires that we all think for ourselves, present our views and perspectives and interpretations, work together to come to very consequential conclusions. We are, after all, tasked with some of the most pivotal decisions of our time.

This isn't just about law, which is an ironic thought, it's about morals and values. It's about standards. Conformity. Behavior consistent with, not just societal standards, but higher standards, reflecting the level of influence we hold, the level of power with which we've been entrusted.

Consistency, conformity, standards. At the very least.

It would be nice if there were mutual respect and admiration among us. There had been at least the semblance of that in the past, a picture of civility. That's no longer how we are perceived. 

We don't have to break bread together, but we do need to comport ourselves with dignity. Both on with each other, and in public.

Apple & Honey Chicken Salad

I can no longer sit on my hands. That man's crazy as fruit loops wife with her known involvement in a wild, deadly insurrection, added to his not having recused himself from the issues involving her isn't playing well. Add to that his reckless acceptance of gifts, multimillion dollar gifts, from people with an agenda, to sway, to influence. 

And that on top of the last few among us having lied to get here, in private meetings and in public hearings, in front of the whole country . . .

We need to show that we respect ethical boundaries, and when we don't, we must agree to sanctions. And yes, even expulsion.

We are compromised, and the entire country knows it. Our approval rating in has hit a low 40%. The time has come. I have no choice, I can no longer be an absentee Chief. 

It would be in the best interest of the country if Thomas were to retire, just get lost. But, of course, he won't. This institution is in jeopardy due to my lack of leadership. I'm just going to have to put on my big boy pants robe, and take steps to have him removed, thought the Chief Justice, swallowing a Xanax.

 

Here are links to all the other Use Your Words posts:

On the Border 

Climaxed

 

Apple & Honey Chicken Salad

                                               ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

1 large chicken breast, cooked and cooled

1 small apple

1/2 cup walnut halves, shelled

1/4 cup mayonnaise

2 tsp honey

1 TBSP apple cider vinegar

1/4 tsp cinnamon

Directions:
*Shred the chicken and place in a bowl. Core (and peel, if desired), then chop the apple. Add to the bowl. Coarsely chop the walnuts, add to the bowl. Mix.

*In a separate bowl, whisk together the mayonnaise, honey, apple cider vinegar, and cinnamon. Pour into the bowl with the chicken an mix well.

*Cover and refrigerate any leftovers.

Dueling Convictions, Right or Rights

 This post has been exceedingly difficult to write. For someone like me who can make any short story long, that's saying a lot. There's so much emotion involved in examining our personal convictions, how committed we are to them. But I'm concerned that in my attempt to adequately express my conflicting beliefs, I risk sounding insensitive. 

 

Although the issue I'm struggling with has been in the spotlight for years, and come to the forefront as a full-fledged #MeToo movement this past year, our personal round of familial discussions was precipitated by a conversation I had with College Boy last month. Since then, I've attempted to explore my feelings and write this post, without success.

 

I've been trying to balance what seems to be opposing thoughts, articulate what feels to me like diametrically opposed beliefs and, as a result, come to terms with how inadequate being conflicted on this particular issue has made me feel.

 

One strategy I frequently use to work things through is to just sit down and write out my feelings, even in disjointed thoughts and partial sentences. As the words flow, I start to see how to put them together in a cohesive manner. Not this time. 

 

I've also tried thinking about it not only as a whole but in pieces, then deliberately giving it a rest, not actively thinking about it at all. Often if I go to the kitchen and focus my mind on a task, the issue works itself out in the background, my thoughts solidify. Not this time.

 

 

Zoodle Side Salad

 

 

Let me start with the back story:

A little over a month ago, someone sent College Boy a link. It was to a news story about one of the owners of a business College Boy had worked for last year. I need to mention here that although this man's position in the business is well known in the community and among employees, and he was actively involved in the day to day running of the company in all of the ways an owner would be, the business is now not only claiming he was not an owner, but had a lawyer send my son a letter threatening to sue him if he continues to talk on social media, as others are, about this man's position in the company. 

 

Anyway, back to the link. It was to a news story about this man's arrest. He had been accused of child sexual assault. The incident was reported by the child's mother who was informed of the situation when her children returned from spending a few days with friends.

 

Not much (any) thought needs to go into how you feel about something like that. We were heartbroken for the child and her family, furious about the despicable mom shaming comments we saw on many social media links to the article, and sickened by the situation as a whole. 

 

For us, it didn't take the #MeToo movement to solidify our support for anyone who reports a sexual assault. It didn't take Donald Trump, Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Jeffrey Epstein, Warren Jeffs, Larry Nassar . . . to exemplify how emotionally wrenching it is for victims to step into the unforgiving limelight. Nor did it take Anita Hill or Christine Blasey Ford for us to know the brutality inflicted on those victims who come forward.  

So then why the conflict?

Out of curiosity, not realizing where it would lead, I asked my son what he would have done if he'd still been working for this company. "Would you stay?" I asked him, "Or would you leave?"

"I think I'd most likely leave," he answered. 

 

"So then what about innocent until proven guilty?" I then asked. "Where does that factor in? Or does it?"

 

Because I watch a lot of true crime shows, I know there are not just predators, but there are also unscrupulous people who have used allegations of sexual assault in child custody negotiations, assault and murder defenses, for all kinds of nefarious manipulative reasons.

 

It's difficult, when someone's been arrested for a heinous crime, to give them the benefit of the doubt. The accusation is out there, along with an assumption that there wouldn't have been an arrest without enough evidence to satisfy the warrant process. But there are those instances in which it just isn't true.

I would never, ever, under any circumstance, do anything other than support someone coming forward with an accusation of sexual abuse, assault, or rape. There's no question that accusers should be afforded their voice, as well as having emotional, physical, and legal services available to them. I believe we need to not only acknowledge those who have suffered, but pave the way for them to feel safe confronting their abuse. 

And I know that the only way we'll get there is by believing all of the accusers. I don't pretend to have all the information, but those who come forward publicly, how can you not have a visceral response to their anguish? It's all consuming. Their palpable pain is right there in front of you. And it's why I'm having a hard time reconciling that support, with a basic tenet of our legal system, the presumption of innocence until proven guilty.

Why do I feel like a traitor when I say that?

Maybe because I see the statute of limitations as being a critical issue, a road block in both healing and resolution. What if it's run out? What then? When rights usurp right? No resolution for anyone, either party, and the possibility that our system enables sexual predators to continue victimizing. 

 

There should be no statute of limitation for any sexual crimes. Period.

 

But this doesn't even scratch the surface of the interlocking issues involved. Like what about Ghislaine Maxwell? Can I possibly not think she's guilty? What about the inequities in our legal system based on financial status, race, sex, even politics? Can I possibly not question the system when a Maria Farmer initially went to the FBI to report her rape by Epstein and Maxwell back in 1996 and nothing happened? In fact, I have a hard time not thinking that the FBI, by not pursing a case back then, isn't actually complicit in all that Epstein and Maxwell were free to continue doing from that time forward. And when they finally acted, what about Epstein's absurd plea deal back in 2008? What is fair about 13 months with work release?

I don't know. Any of it. All of it. I just don't know.

 

For my son, in this specific situation, the answer to stay or go wasn't a battle. He says that he would leave because he got to know this man, and was able to form his own opinion as to the guy's character. He told me that he'd leave because, despite the presumption of innocent until proven guilty, the alleged behavior is not inconsistent with what College Boy knows of him.

And me? I know that for many this is a black and white issue, and I get that. I so want to be part of the solution, but I'm still struggling with carving out a little circle of grey.

 

Zoodle Side Salad        

                                                                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups fresh zucchini spirals or a 10 oz frozen package

1/2 cup pignolis

1 medium carrot

3/4 cup mini herb marinate mozzarella cheese balls

3/4 cup grape tomatoes

1/3 cup olive oil

2 TBSP red wine vinegar

1 tsp garlic powder

1/2 tsp onion powder

2 tsp Italian seasoning

1/4 tsp pepper

1/2 tsp salt

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

*Cook the zoodles until just barely soft. For fresh spirals, it will take about 1 1/2 minutes in the microwave. For frozen zoodles it will take about 3 1/2 minutes in the microwave. Once cooked, drain on a paper towel and immediately refrigerate in a bowl.

*Spread the pignolis onto a small baking tray (toaster oven size), and place in the oven. Mix after about 2 minutes, check after 2 more minutes, once they just barely start to brown, they're done. Remove from the tray and set aside to cool.

*Shred the carrot (I just use a potato peeler), cut the cheese balls and the grape tomatoes in half.

*Once the zoodles are cool, add the carrot, cheese, and tomatoes to the bowl.

*Whisk together the olive oil, red wine vinegar, garlic powder, onion powder, Italian seasoning, salt and pepper. Add to the bowl with the zoodles and gently mix together. Cover and refrigerate at least an hour, gently mixing now and then.

*To serve, sprinkle with the toasted pignoli nuts.

By Any Other Name

Let me just start by saying that I did not see the recent prime time television interview of the 53 year old former teacher and her 31 year old former student. I have better things to do with my prime time viewing hours.

There are people who would legitimately say that I have no right commenting without being open to the perspective of those involved in the controversy. Luckily  for me they are neither the boss of me nor the editor of this blog.

I’ve seen the story off and on over the past 17 years, of course. A 34 year old married mother of four employed as a teacher is caught having an affair with her 12 year old student. I cringe even typing that. Twelve.

By the time the boy was 14 she had produced a child with him. She was charged with child rape, went to trial and in lieu of serving her entire sentence was allowed to serve just a short portion as long as she stayed away from the student for life.

Wow, what a gift.

Two weeks after getting out of jail she was once again pregnant by the same young man and went back to prison for the rest of her term, 7 years. After her release and once the boy was of age they were married. They have now been married for 10 years and those two children are teenagers.

I did see a clip from the recent interview in which the teacher states that the media somehow misrepresented them and that what we’ve all seen of their relationship is not their story.

THEIR story? There is no THEIR story. That young boy, now a grown man, didn’t get a story. We’ll never know what his life could have been, would have been, had he not fallen prey to a pedophile at the age of twelve. He has no story, just an assigned roll in the story of a naive, narcissistic, delusional person trying to justify her behavior.

I have read that she wants to return to teaching and wants her name removed from the sex offender registry.

Really?

And I want to live in a world without pedophiles.

The premise of her argument, from all I have read, is that the marriage proves that this was not wrong after all. This was true love. The ten year marriage is proof.

In order for me to believe that this was true love not a predator and her victim, there are some very simple, dare I say logical, ways I think this should have played out.

It is possible, and not unheard of, no matter what the age and/or age difference, to build a relationship, a connection, a love, without taking it to a physical level. There are many couples who choose this option, strengthen their bond and save the physical intimacy for marriage. Sex can be a part of love but love does not have to include sex. She could have acted out of maturity and respect for all involved if she had chosen to show some restraint. If she had been able to exercise some basic impulse control. If this truly was love, sex could at the very least wait until he was of age, no longer a child.

In the meantime she could have spent time getting a divorce from the husband she did not love, setting him free, and building a relationship with those four children instead of embarrassing the crap out of them and ripping their world apart. Children can survive the divorce of parents far easier than coping with a parent being incarcerated for rape.

But then I don’t think she really gave any thought to those children. She had another child on her mind.

Nothing, no number of years of marriage, can serve as an excuse for, a vindication of, having raped a child.

You may fool you but you are not fooling me.

OK, lets lighten the mood with something sweet and yummy and not at all controversial. Pie, of course.

No Bake Yogurt Pie

No Bake Yogurt Pie

                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
2 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
3 TBSP sugar
1 stick butter, melted
 
1 1/2 cup heavy cream, divided
6 TBSP powdered sugar, divided
 
5 – 6 oz lemon greek yogurt
¼ tsp lemon zest
OPT: yellow food coloring
 
5 – 6 oz vanilla greek yogurt
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
 
5 – 6 oz raspberry greek yogurt
6 oz clean fresh raspberries
OPT: red food coloring
 
Directions:
*Mix together the graham cracker crumbs and sugar. Remove ¼ cup of this mixture and set aside. To the rest, add the melted butter and mix well. Pat into the bottom and up the sides of a 10 inch pie plate. Refrigerate.
*Beat ½ cup of heavy cream until soft peaks form. Beat in 2 TBSP powdered sugar, lemon zest and yellow food coloring until stiff peaks hold. Fold in the lemon yogurt.
*Spread the mixture into the pie shell and put in the freezer for about 30 minutes.
*Just before an hour is up, beat another ½ cup heavy cream until soft peaks form. Beat in 2 TBSP powdered sugar and the vanilla extract until stiff peaks hold. Fold in the vanilla yogurt and reserved graham cracker crumb mixture.
*Spread the mixture onto the lemon layer and put in the freezer for about 30 minutes.
*Chop 1/3 of the raspberries. Leave the rest whole for garnishing the pie.
*Just before an hour is up, beat another ½ cup heavy cream until soft peaks form. Beat in 2 TBSP powdered sugar and the red food coloring until stiff peaks hold. Fold in the raspberry yogurt and chopped fresh raspberries.
*Spread onto the vanilla layer, decorate with reserved raspberries and refrigerate.