Monday, November 26, 2012

Comment Fail Jail

I comments on my blog, I really do. I appreciate every single person who shows up in my page views as having taken the time to read what I have to say. Not everyone leaves a comment and that’s fine. But here’s the other side of the equation: not everyone who does leave a comment should. 


Comments are like recipes, some are in the running for your all-time favorites and others you throw out the recipe and mourn the waste of sugar. 


Eggnog Bread | www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe

Eggnog Bread

I use Comment Moderation. This means that they all go into limbo until I either approve them and theyre published or I delete them and they’re sentenced to life in Comment Fail Jail.  I may have too much time on my hands, but lately I’ve been categorizing the prison-bound comments before imposing sentence. These are the categories and the actual quotes:



Comment Fail Jail | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics



The in a hurry commenter:

“You should me back http:/HerBlogAddressHere”.
She was in so much of a hurry she didn’t even proofread her own comment. She must have followed my blog and wanted me to follow her back but she left out the most important word “follow”. Oh, and a passing reference to the post would have been nice. Delete.

The I only speak SOME English commenter:

Ich denken fast immer nur an das Eine.  Visit my site at: ww.MoreGermanWordsHere.”
She doesn’t speak enough English to comment in English, but she knows how to say “visit my site at”? And by the way, according to Google translate, her comment on my post translates to “I think almost always only to the one”. Delete.


If this were High School, this category would win most popular:
The One size fits allcommenter:

“great blog… I like it and very interesting …I think it's so useful for many people ...”
This is someone who most likely leaves the same comment on blogs all over the blogosphere, whether it’s pertinent or not. I’m sorry, what do you find more useful, the fact that my kids drive me crazy? Or the fact that I bake to relieve stress? Delete.

 “nice blog, have a nice day”
I try to leave a thoughtful reply to all the comments posted on my blog but what am I going to say to this? “Nice is nice?” Delete.

“thanks for sharing” 
Sharing the story? The recipe? The blogosphere? The Planet? Delete.


Үou have endеd my 4 day long hunt! God Bleѕs you man. Hаve a nice ԁay. Bye Have a look at my website ww.xxxxx

Huh? Delete.
The Skitzophrenic commenter:
good content on (name of the post he left a comment on). ClickHereForFreeInsuranceRates.”
Now this person could fall into One size fits all, but I gave him his own category because he left this comment on 6 of my posts, all at the same time, and in all 6 he used a different name as the person leaving the comment. Anyone want free (when do you pay for them anyway) insurance quotes from someone who’s not even sure of his own name? Delete.

When I delete a comment, it always wipes the smile off of my face. To avoid that, I’ve developed a quick tutorial:

Commenting 101

1. Read the post before commenting. Two to three minutes tops, you can do it.
2. Think. With your brain.
3. Write a comment that has at least an iota of relevance to, a passing reference to, a thin shred of commonality with, or is minimally pertinent to something you read in the last 2 minutes.
4. Proof read your comment. Take your time, there are infinite do-overs here.
5. Proudly send your comment before the court where it will be judged worthy or sentenced to life in the Comment Fail Jail.
6. Be brave, come back and see the fate of your comment. When published it’s rewarded with a response.

If you follow these simple steps, it will get you into my favorite category of all:

The I Get Youcommenter:

Sarcasm AND baking? I love you already!”
Thanks Shellybean, and every other person who takes the time to actually read my blog and share their thoughts. You make my day.

Baking In A Tornado signature | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics
Eggnog Bread
                                     ©www.BakingInATornado.com
Ingredients Bread:  
1 stick butter, softened
2 eggs
1 cup eggnog
2 tsp spiced rum
1 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 1/4 cups flour
1 (3.3 oz) package of instant vanilla pudding mix
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1/2 cup cinnamon baking chips
 
Ingredients, Glaze:
1 TBSP eggnog
1 TBSP spiced rum (or another TBSP eggnog)
1/2 cup powdered sugar
  
Directions:
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 9 X 5 loaf pan.
*Beat butter, eggs, eggnog, rum, sugar and vanilla just until smooth.
*Mix in flour, pudding mix, baking powder, salt and pumpkin pie spice, just until incorporated. Gently mix in cinnamon chips.
*Bake approximately 60 - 75 minutes or until center springs back to the touch. Check after 60 minutes, you may need to tent tin foil over the top at that point.
*Cool for 5 minutes. Run knife around the edge and gently use it to lift bread from the bottom to loosen bread from the bottom and remove bread from loaf pan.
*Mix glaze ingredients together in a small bowl. Once bread is cooled, drizzle the glaze over the top.
*Store in refrigerator, bring to room temperature before serving.

74 comments:

  1. Me love content your blog..follow me home friends much. Hahahahhahahahah Thanks for the shout out. You know I love you and your sarcasm.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Shellybean, I can always count on you!

      Delete
  2. OMGosh!!! ROFLOL!!!! LOVE it!!!!!
    I think I have had some of the same comments... LOL


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I bet you did. I bet every blogger in the universe did!

      Delete
  3. Nice blog! Thanks for sharing! Follow me back!






    Okay, I kid! LoL. I don't have the moderation thing set, but I DO have some that get sent to spam and it's like....really.....lol. Obvious bot is obvious! lol.
    One of these days, I'm going through all of your blogs so I can get me some recipes.....beware! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome to go through my posts looking for recipes, just don't leave me any spammy comments...

      Delete
  4. Nice Blog.. back me follow? LOL
    Comment Fail Jail should be an app we can install. Spam blockers up high, sweet friends have trouble commenting and without I could spend most of the day knocking down the stupid.
    My favorite are the nasty comments that clearly come from a spammer that didn't read a thing.
    Oh you think I need more pictures in that article? 20 wasn't enough for my repeated spammer. ** Sigh**
    Too bad there isn't a 3 strike rule for bad comments... leave 3 and you are blocked from the internet for a week. I'll get on that after solving world peace. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love both of your ideas, the app and the 3 strikes. I think you're onto something. Maybe you could work on it while you're working on the world peace thing instead of after...

      Delete
  5. I do have to say I love me some shellybean comments! I do like some posts but unless I have a good comment I don't want to write something but I want them to know I came by to visit... I have been trying to find a non-bloghole way to do that...

    Love the post and I think some of those comments are spam and you might be able to block them?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you find a non-bloghole way to do that please share! Yes, those comments do go to spam and I do delete them but they're still a disappointment.

      Delete
  6. You have very fine site here, and I find it laughing. Good day. Look me on my website.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm embarrassed, I think the comments are funnier than the post.

      Delete
    2. I laugh at these comments soooooo much.

      Delete
  7. I don't get a lot of comments except from a few great fellow bloggers, instead I tend to get lovely spam. I always get the "This is some interesting specific information. If you continue to provide will visit this blog again." Mmmhmm. Do you get all the sex spam visiting your blog? I'm sure if that was a real person they would be very disappointed, no sex going on anywhere around MY blog! And there is one I wish I could block permanently, it says Hello Web Admin and takes up half a page about SEO information. Arrrrgh! Thanks goodness Wordpress has spam control. I still have to see it, but no one else does.

    I always try to comment when I like a post, and sometimes the comments I leave are somewhat entertaining. There for awhile it seemed like I was the first comment on everyone's post some days. I even assured one blogger that I really wasn't stalking her-I just really like her blog!
    My pet peeve is people that comment solely for the purpose of getting you to follow them. I like the term "bloghole" a lot!

    Great post. Have a nice day! HA HA HA! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, Sorry kid's term "bloghole" is perfect. She does have a way with (made up) words.

      Delete
  8. Lmao so you really did decide to do a post like this! So funny! We talked about this once upon a time but you do know that they're bots right? ie. they're not REAL people it just crawls the web and posts on peoples blogs for YOU to look at them and hopefully click on them lol! Love yah babe! xoxo thanks for sharing the delicious recipe!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do know they're bots, but I think someone needs to teach those bots some manners!

      Delete
  9. Too funny. You should know by now I was cracking up as I was reading this. I think it's great that you have enough comments to have a comment jail. We should all be so lucky! One day...
    Jae Mac, I'm Just Sayin'...(Damn!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was months before I started getting comments too. It does take time but you'll soon have a comment jail of your own!

      Delete
    2. Spoken like a true BlogSage. Karen, you know you're getting the interest from bots AND real people because your blog is entertaining and YOU are a real person.

      Love seeing your wisdom. here. I'd say "told you so" but I'm too nice ;). <3

      Delete
    3. Thanks for not saying "told you so", Melinda. You are one of the hand full of people who got me blogging so I guess I could live with it if you ever decide to say it!

      Delete
  10. hahaha, this is hilarious! my blog isn't popular enough to attract the crazies yet - good job!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, you just wait, the crazies are coming!

      Delete
    2. Oh yes....the bigger, the more crazy you attract. For sure.

      Delete
  11. Karen: You so nailed the whole spam bot and impersonal nature of some commenters. I try to keep in mind that behind a blog is usually someone's heart and soul. I make a concerted effort to respond with a sincere, genuine comment. I've taken the "quality over quantity" strategy when it comes to reading and commenting on other blogs. Often times, I read something and wish there was that free moment to comment - but I would rather take the time to make a thoughtful comment - rather than write something flippant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When you make an effort to respond with a sincere and genuine comment it shows, and I am someone who looks forward to and appreciates them.

      Delete
  12. crapolla is this why you keep deleting my comments! I forgot to read your post! Thanks for the head up!! LOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Another funny comment. I've never deleted your comments. Now that you have instructions, I'm sure I never will!

      Delete
  13. hahahahha!! Love it!! Of course, most of those commentors did not even read the post!! They just needed you to click on their awesome link!! I myself am so tired of 'Anonymous' who keeps visiting multiple posts of my blog!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just hate the let down, thinking I have a comment and then it's spam!

      Delete
  14. My little eggnog, bread baker, I love you! Spam is funny to me. I mean, it's so obvious and ridiculous. I get disappointed when I realize I don't have a real comment. The worst was when I first started blogging and thought they were real!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, it's mostly the disappointment of thinking you actually have a comment, then realize you don't.

      Delete
  15. This was hilarious and only because I grit my teeth at the same things! Comment moderation has really saved my readers many a headache and my blog from the waste of space and flood of spam that seems to come at times. So glad you posted this!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't imagine not having Comment Moderation and having all that garbage sitting on my blog. I guess the best you can do is just laugh at it.

      Delete
  16. HILARIOUS and spot on! I am cracking up!

    Do you know what comment I received today??? TOTALLY spam.

    "This winter season beast prints, metallics - generally gold,
    and velvets are the enormous sellers. This allow the supporters to maintain
    an eye on the Baratosnike.
    When evaluating your kid's abilities, do not let emotions to overcrowd your
    rationale."

    WHAT????!!! Fashion & parenting advice?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It just drives me nuts. On the plus side, it felt good to vent!

      Delete
  17. I'm so glad I saw this recipe before my trip to town. I just added a few ingredients to my list! This looks absolutely incredible. Mmmmmmm.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope you like it. I was going to post it later but so many people asked for the recipe when I said I was making it that I had to move the post up!

      Delete
  18. The comments are funny but hey--WHY ISN'T ANYONE TALKING ABOUT THE EGG NOG BREAD??? You know I'm just stalking your page because I'm hungry, right? I'm actually really glad you posted this recipe--I tried an eggnog bread and it sucked. Now I know why--it didn't have RUM in it like yours! As far as the comments go--I keep getting the same spam one telling me how useful my blog is for plumbing and would I like to look at their plumbing site? Uh....no, not unless you want to come over here and unclog whatever my son used to jam the toilet with this week!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Menopause and plumbing, I just know there has to be a joke in there somewhere!

      Delete
  19. LOL I love it. I hate those comments that don't make sense just to leave a link to their page!! Oh and I love the bread too :) I am so glad you shared it on Manic Monday.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Bobbi, glad you had a good laugh. Hope you try the bread, it really is good!

      Delete
  20. Oh my God... I needed this laugh so bad! too freaking funny! I get some spams that make me shake my head... thanks to youl, I am going to find humor in them... well maybe not them, but I will think of yours and laugh! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's funny to look back but just so frustrating when you think you have a real comment...

      Delete
  21. I moderate all my comments, too. Sometimes I don't know why because a.) I don't get that many, and b.) they are all nice. I get really excited when I get e-mail that says I have a comment on my blog, but when it says by anonymous, I know it will be stupid bot spam about cigarettes or something. And I can't stand the ones that simply say, "Visiting you from such and such, hope you'll check out my site." Blah.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I hate those anonymous ones, you just know what's coming...

      Delete
  22. Bahahahaha love this. Maybe we should do a link up where we all come up with our own spam comments! Do they really work? I'm guessing they must to some extent because why do them otherwise. Also, I need to note that I should not read your blog when I am hungry because now my stomach is growling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't imagine many people actually click on those things, but then how many people buy stuff from telemarketers. Actually "Sorry kid..." thought of a bunch of us doing them, but then I wrote mine and no one else did. I'm just now finally getting around to posting it!

      Delete
  23. Haha!! This is awesome! I hate when people comment and they clearly haven't read the post. Btw, that bread looks so yummy!! When I'm done being sick, I am so going to try the recipe! You had me at egg nog! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hope you feel better soon. And I hope you do try the bread, it's delish.

      Delete
  24. Seriously, what is wrong with people?? haha..why do they even waste their time. I loved that you "exposed" all of this! Plus, I'm going to have to try this Egg Nog bread, I may even win wife of the year award if I make it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did think those comments were worth a laugh, but now I'd really like it to stop! Hope you do make the bread. I'm going to need to make another one!

      Delete
  25. I've never gotten any of those weird, vague comments I see on other people's blogs, but I'm pretty new. I guess they're just trying to pull in a lot of traffic? Well if eggnog bread is anything like eggnog, this'll be a hit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd be happy to send some of those weird commenters and bots your way...

      Delete
  26. LOL Yes. I also love the, I only half read your content so my comment doesn't actually apply, person. Also the, I think you're hot so I don't care what you wrote I want to flirt, comment. Sigh, they drive me insane.

    MMM Eggnog bread. What's that I hear? The size of my butt getting bigger just reading the recipe.

    You know I adore you chicka.

    x,
    Becca

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too funny, Becca. You need to write one of these yourself. And BTW, I don't get any of those "I think you're hot so I don't care what you wrote I want to flirt" comments. Know how I can get some?

      Delete
  27. I completely agree Karen! I want to hear all about why they can completely relate and that they imagine that I smell like cinammon ;) (I don't, it's more like corndogs probably.) This is totally why you made my list today!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jen, I completely relate to everything you say and I imagine that you smell like cinnamon. BTW, even if it's really corndogs, that's better than what we all smelled like in the first year of our kids' lives.

      Delete
  28. I finally made the decision to turn off the word verification on my comments. Within about an hour I had all of these ridiculous comments like "My friend sent me here. Your content is just what I'm looking for {insert link that has nothing to do with my blog}"

    I would rather have "canned" comments than spammy junk! Thanks for the good laugh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think one way or the other we're gonna have to take the good with the bad.

      Delete
  29. I'm late reading this but this is too funny. Unfortunately, it's also true. Don't let those comments get you down Karen. You have an awesome following of REAL people who love to read your posts. The above comments show that! Now.....if I may join in.....

    You have nice blog, keep blogging my friend.

    Xo
    Bonnie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, I only have a nice blog because because you gave it to me. And fixed it. I don't know what I would have done without you.

      Delete
  30. Down with spam! (I'm not going to lie, I've occasionally edited comments for grammar and spelling when I notice it.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, I usually don't, I just let it drive me crazy.

      Delete
  31. LOL! I totally agree. I try my best to leave an interesting response. If I can't say something relevant or interesting, I end up not leaving a comment. Sometimes I leave a "too funny" or "it's cute", but if I do that, I certainly don't also leave a "You should follow me..." in the response. Seems like you're going to follow someone who doesn't have much to say. I'll end with...

    "Great post... you should at 100lbcountdown.com"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you said it perfectly, why would I want to follow someone who doesn't really have much to say?

      Delete
  32. I found you on menopausal-mama and boy am I happy I did. (However she told me not to come hungry and I didn't listen, and now I regret it.)I am cracking up right now. I HATE all the lame comments I receive. I had one guy who decided every day he needed to spam all of my comment boxes with MTDEW!!! That was it, nothing more, nothing less. I finally had to just block his ip address when he decided that wasn't gaining enough attention from me. Why someone would need to troll someones blog, I will never understand.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, what is the purpose of that? Did he think he was funny? Did he think you'd suddenly go out and buy a bunch of Mt. Dew? Does he need to get a life?

      Delete
  33. The unfortunate part of looking for good recipes in the blogosphere is that sometimes you have to put up with the self righteous ranting's of the blogger. I love your recipe's but I could do without the "lessons" on how to be a good commenter. The simple fact is that if you don't like what someone has to say then delete the comment and move on like everyone else does. And yes I am posting this anonymously. I do this simply because I don't wish to be inundated with hate mail by you or any of your blogger friends.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You missed the point. This post was not intended to be a lesson to my readers, for whom I am endlessly grateful. It’s supposed to be a humorous, tongue-in-cheek commentary on the spam left by bots just to get a link to their site onto a blog. This is why the 30 or so people who got the joke left comments speaking to the humor of the post and the inappropriate nature of robo-comments.

      Anonymous or not, I would never inundate you or anyone else with hate mail. Further, I have the utmost respect for the maturity level of my blogger friends. We show support by building each other up, not by knocking others down.

      For instance, I’m confident that if they were ever to even consider responding to you in any way, they wouldn’t even mention that you don’t know how to use an apostrophe.

      Delete

Warning: Comment at your own risk. I have Comment Moderation, meaning I approve all comments before they show up here. So go ahead, I'm not scared!