What this is about is teens. There are all kinds of stereotypes and cliches about teenage behavior. And I’m sorry to tell you that they’re all true; the snarky attitude, the eye-rolling, the sudden inability to talk to parents. True, true and true.
But, all my friends with younger kids, there’s so much more you need to know. And since I’m a sharer, I’m going to clue you in to a few additional things you need to be prepared for. For instance:
Did you know that you’ll be asking “are you wearing underwear” whenever your child walks out the door? Or that even if the answer is “yes” you may actually need to check? And although they’ll leave your house half naked, they’ll insist you can’t come into their room when they’re changing . . . their socks.
Did you know that they will NEVER have any homework or that there will be nothing to study because all they did in class that day is watch a movie? You can put money on the fact that the next day you’ll be treated to a big red “Missing Assignment” in their online grade book. When you require them to stay after school and talk to the teacher about making up assignments they’ll come right home because the teacher wasn’t there that day. And they’ll never be able to explain how they can get bad grades when their teacher is never there and all they do is watch movies every day in every class.
When you go to bed at night and your nocturnal child is still up, saying “please go to bed at a decent hour” is a rookie mistake.
You probably know that teens can eat twice their weight in any given sitting. Especially if they decide that something is their favorite food. And they will continue to consume that food in astounding budget-busting quantities until it goes on sale and you stock up. They they’ll roll their eyes, tell you that they never liked it and refuse to eat it ever again.
Spicy Pasta Salad
You know how, when they’re young they often refuse to nap and are always so full of energy? Well now all they seem to do is nap. And it’s hopeless to insist that they do some physical exercise. If you tell them to go out and walk or run a mile they’ll turn the corner, sit in the park for 15 minutes and come back home.
You probably already know that as the parent of a teen there is nothing you can do that is right. No matter what you try, no matter what your intent, you will always be wrong. But did you know that your teen can do no wrong? Nothing is their fault. Ever. And “how dare you” blame them (insert glaring look here).
And did you know that their room is no longer a part of your home? It is a sovereign nation. And it’s run by a dictator. Do not enter uninvited, and you will never be invited unless the dictator is sick or needs something. And if you are allowed into the holy inner sanctum, whatever you do, don’t touch anything. Or you WILL be punished.
Did you know that teenagers can sleep through the ringing phone, the clothes dryer beeping, your calling to them, their alarm and even through tornado sirens? But if you turn on the mixer two floors below them they’ll be out of bed and yelling indignantly that you woke them up.
NOW you’ve been warned. Still wonder why I bake? And blog? And don’t sleep?
Angel Hair pasta, cooked al dente and cooled
½ red pepper, chopped
2 green onions, sliced
4 TBSP soy sauce
3 TBSP Sesame oil
2 TBSP balsamic vinegar
2 TBSP brown sugar
1 1/2 tsp HOT chili sauce
Toasted sesame seeds
*Mix together the cold pasta, red pepper and green onions.
*Mix together the soy sauce, sesame oil, balsamic vinegar, brown sugar and hot chili sauce. Pour over pasta and mix well.
*Refrigerate 4 hours, mixing at least once an hour.
*When serving, sprinkle each portion with toasted sesame seeds.