As a Mom, I understand that part of my role in this family is to impart some of my considerable wisdom. But there are many lessons I never expected to teach. You know what I mean, those concepts that seem so common-sense that even, well, MY kids shouldn’t need them put into words.
So here I was, prepared for how I wanted to approach the tough stuff, and completely stunned by the lessons I shouldn’t have to teach.
I mean, how do you prepare yourself for having to explain:
*If you leave 6 inches of air between the chips and where you secure the twist tie, the chips will not stay fresh.
*Conversely, if you twist the chip bag three times at the top of where the chips are, then twist the tie 475 times around the bag, the chips will stay fresh. They’ll be crushed and no one will ever be able to open them again, but they’ll probably be fresh.
*”I don’t want you to do that” doesn’t mean “I don’t want to SEE you doing that”, it means I actually don’t want you to do it.
*Just like you don’t hear me when your headphones are on, I don’t hear you when mine are on. Telling me about your grades then doesn’t constitute having discussed them.
*It is possible we’ll run out of milk if you fill your cereal bowl to the top with milk, just eat the cereal and then throw 2 cups of milk down the sink each morning.
*If you and your friends finish all the Gatorade in the basement fridge and you don’t tell me, there won’t be any the next time you want some.
*If I ask you to go get Dad, I don’t mean for you to continue to stand next to me and scream for Dad. I actually mean that I want you to go find him.
*Moving an object from one corner of your desk to another is not cleaning your room.
*Sweeping your napkin gently over the counter doesn’t clean it. Use a sponge.
*If you spend all of your money as soon as you make it, you won’t have any left.
Oriental Chicken Salad
*If you hold the front door open, bugs will come in. Sometimes birds too.
*When the washing machine or dryer beeps, it’s not speaking only to me. Anyone can actually go attend to the laundry.
*If you say “Mom, are you awake” over and over, louder and louder, when I finally answer it doesn’t mean I was awake all along. Nor am I bound to say “yes” to whatever it is you want.
*Taking the batteries out of my electronics because your batteries have run out has the potential of getting you into trouble.
*You need to check the gas level in the car every now and then or you'll run out.
*If you drop something, you need to pick it up. Inanimate objects rarely pick themselves up.
Oh, and just so you know:
*If you turn a light on in the hallway, you might stop falling down the stairs.
Oriental Chicken Salad
1 # chicken, cooked, cubed and cooled
12 oz tricolor rotini, cooked al dente and cooled
3 green onions, chopped
1/2 red pepper, chopped
snow pea pods
1 carrot, peeled thinly (like with a potato peeler)
Opt: unsalted cashews for serving
1 cup mayonnaise
2 TBSP soy sauce
1 tsp ginger
1/8 tsp cayenne
*Mix all salad ingredients except for the cashews.
*Wisk all dressing ingredients and mix into the salad ingredients until well incorporated.
*Opt: when serving, sprinkle each portion with unsalted cashews.