Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Not So Common Sense

Some things are better left unsaid. Well, I tried that but it turns out that many of those things actually DO have to be said.

As a Mom, I understand that part of my role in this family is to impart some of my considerable wisdom. But there are many lessons I never expected to teach. You know what I mean, those concepts that seem so common-sense that even, well, MY kids shouldn’t need them put into words.

So here I was, prepared for how I wanted to approach the tough stuff, and completely stunned by the lessons I shouldn’t have to teach.

I mean, how do you prepare yourself for having to explain:

*If you leave 6 inches of air between the chips and where you secure the twist tie, the chips will not stay fresh.

*Conversely, if you twist the chip bag three times at the top of where the chips are, then twist the tie 475 times around the bag, the chips will stay fresh. They’ll be crushed and no one will ever be able to open them again, but they’ll probably be fresh.

*”I don’t want you to do that” doesn’t mean “I don’t want to SEE you doing that”, it means I actually don’t want you to do it.

*Just like you don’t hear me when your headphones are on, I don’t hear you when mine are on. Telling me about your grades then doesn’t constitute having discussed them.

Not So Common Sense - Bakinginatornado.com

*It is possible we’ll run out of milk if you fill your cereal bowl to the top with milk, just eat the cereal and then throw 2 cups of milk down the sink each morning.

*If you and your friends finish all the Gatorade in the basement fridge and you don’t tell me, there won’t be any the next time you want some.

*If I ask you to go get Dad, I don’t mean for you to continue to stand next to me and scream for Dad. I actually mean that I want you to go find him.

*Moving an object from one corner of your desk to another is not cleaning your room.

*Sweeping your napkin gently over the counter doesn’t clean it. Use a sponge.

*If you spend all of your money as soon as you make it, you won’t have any left.


Oriental Chicken Salad - Bakinginatornado.com
Oriental Chicken Salad

*If you hold the front door open, bugs will come in. Sometimes birds too.

*When the washing machine or dryer beeps, it’s not speaking only to me. Anyone can actually go attend to the laundry.

*If you say “Mom, are you awake” over and over, louder and louder, when I finally answer it doesn’t mean I was awake all along. Nor am I bound to say “yes” to whatever it is you want.

*Taking the batteries out of my electronics because your batteries have run out has the potential of getting you into trouble.

*You need to check the gas level in the car every now and then or you'll run out.

*If you drop something, you need to pick it up. Inanimate objects rarely pick themselves up.


Oh, and just so you know:
*If you turn a light on in the hallway, you might stop falling down the stairs.

Bakinginatornado.com


Oriental Chicken Salad
                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Salad Ingredients:
1 # chicken, cooked, cubed and cooled
12 oz tricolor rotini, cooked al dente and cooled
3 green onions, chopped
1/2 red pepper, chopped
snow pea pods
1 carrot, peeled thinly (like with a potato peeler)
bean sprouts
Opt: unsalted cashews for serving

Dressing Ingredients:
1 cup mayonnaise
2 TBSP soy sauce
1 tsp ginger
1/8 tsp cayenne

Directions:
*Mix all salad ingredients except for the cashews.
*Wisk all dressing ingredients and mix into the salad ingredients until well incorporated.
*Opt: when serving, sprinkle each portion with unsalted cashews.

44 comments:

  1. Great! So you're saying that my kids who are still young and have no common sense doesn't get better w/ time? LOL.. Awesome post, thanks for the laugh.

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    1. Never fear, they'll get better for a time. And then just when you think life is good, they're get WAY WAY worse. It's a conspiracy.

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  2. I swear my 13 year old has less common sense now then when he was 5...every time I say something to him, I get the eyeball roll, accompanied by "moooooom, I knoooooow!" yet apparently he doesn't knooooow and can't figure out the whole cause/effect concept

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    1. Mine's headed for college and a few weeks and I'm still working on it. To the bitter end . . .

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  3. Ha! So true!! One of my girls in particular (who shall remain unnamed) has a surprising lack of common sense. She is so smart & gets good grades, but sometimes I seriously wonder if there is a common sense gene, because, if so, she didn't get it! :-) Like you said, there are just some things you shouldn't have to teach them!

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    1. And yet here we are . . . teaching what we never thought we would.

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  4. Thanks for dashing my hopes! I was hoping that it got better as they aged. Apparently I'm in for it... LOL. Looking forward to trying out this new recipe. Looks yummy!

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    1. Yes, you (like the rest of us) are in for it. Sorry.

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  5. are you saying that all the hard work and planning I am doing with Dino is just a waste of time, he will turn out just like his dad...CLUELESSSSSSS. I'm scared...it's like I can't prevent a zombie invasion...

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    1. Sorry, maybe it would have been better if I had let you find out on your own. Some things you just don't need to know this far in advance!

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  6. *blinks* Oooohhhhhh... I guess those make sense.

    Seriously, though, I have the same "chip" conversation with my wife. Only it's with the bread. She insists on throwing the twist tie away every. single. time she opens the bread and thinks if she ties the very end of bag in a knot & leaves it filled with air, it'll stay fresh. Then she looks at me like I'm obsessed when I complain.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. So many of my posts, although written about my kids, seem to be relatable to spouses. It gives me hope that when my kids leave for college I'll still have something to write about.

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  7. Oh hell ... it's going to be a long road isn't it?? LOL
    This post couldn't have gone any better with my "Letting Go" beginning to my series. You just provided me with a list of things that I'm going to have to work on for the next few decades!!

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    Raising-Reagan.com

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    1. Well, there's always the chance that Reagan will have more common sense than my boys do. And it wouldn't be hard to do since it seems like my boys have none.

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  8. I have been there... done that. Love this one, so cute.

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    1. I love knowing that you lived to tell the tale . . .

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  9. Oh it is not only your kids, don't worry. The entire second set of lessons is done on a routine basis here also. These are kids that take honors classes, can beat an entire video game in a day, and come up with the most elaborate plan to get out of chores, but yet, the common sense things? Not so much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm going out of my mind with just 2 kids. Can't even imagine life at your house.

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  10. LOL!!! Been out of touch for a bit and I missed my chuckles. Got them this morning, thanks.

    Have a great day, Slu

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    Replies
    1. So glad to have amused you. Makes my day!

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  11. *sigh*
    While I don't THOSE, I do have the "yes, if you leave your toys and cloths on the floor, your room WILL be dirty...", among other things.

    Can't I just ship them off when they get that age?

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    Replies
    1. If you find a place to ship them off to, can you please let me know. NOW!

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  12. Up until this very moment, I've been unable to find ANY positives to be said about losing custody of my 2 and 8-year old children to a complete jerk. You just gave me several life events to be somewhat grateful for missing out on. Thank you for bringing me that joy :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stick with me. I'll give you a page full of reasons twice a week.

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  13. Wow, sounds delicious. I love how creamy the sauce looks.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks. Tara. It's so simple to make.

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  14. I love the laundry one, except that it's the opposite in my house. I have legs like a freaking giraffe (actually, maybe I'm getting their necks confused with their legs--in any case, my legs are freakishly long), and one time, early in our marriage, the hubs (GASP) DRIED my favorite pair of jeans in the dryer, causing them to shrink 2 inches and no longer fit. Since then, he is not allowed to touch my clothes to wash or dry them. But he is definitely permitted to do his clothes and the kids'. :)

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    1. So jealous of your legs, I'm really short. And those jeans, I'd still wear them.

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  15. Lol, your list cracked me up!! I love it!

    And I love the flavors in your pasta salad! Pinning!
    Stopped by from Tasty Thursdays ~ I would love to invite you to share your recipes at Wonderful Food Wednesday also!
    http://www.momstestkitchen.com/2013/07/wonderful-food-wednesday.html

    I hope you have a wonderful 4th!!

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    1. Thanks, Jaime. I'll check you out on Wednesday.

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  16. As always, HILARIOUS! Those wise words won't sink into the children until they become adults (we hope).

    I've nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award: http://www.100lbcountdown.com/personal/very-inspiring-blogger-award-thank-you/

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    1. Wow April, thank you so much for the award. I'm honored. I'll stop by your blog!

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  17. Karen - you are so funny and you always give me a glimpse into the future! Although I can absolutely relate to a few thing on your list (like pushing one object to another side of the desk :)). Also - I LOVE a cold pasta salad in the summer - thanks for the great recipe.

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    1. Thanks, Monica. If you got a laugh and a good recipe, You made my day. That's exactly what I set out to do.

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  18. Hahaha love it! I actually found myself saying "Please don't poke your sister with a stick" the other day!! hehe Gotta love my girls!

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    1. Please don't poke your sister with a stick? That's just too funny. Oh, the things we never thought we'd say!

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  19. Mmm.....chicken salad. I deal with my nieces and nephews who all seem to have no common sense. I have to remind them of things like these. Too funny.

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    Replies
    1. I think it's an epidemic. We need to develop an antidote.

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  20. OK first things first...You know I love your recipes girl,...BuT I think your future is waiting for you inside a microphone doing stand up! OMG this post is hilarious and what makes it funny is that half of us can relate to Everything you are saying!!! What makes me wonder...where we like that when we were kids or is it just happening to ours...oh and it doesn't discriminates either...it happens here from the teen to the tot!! oh well...the joys of parenthood...let's keep sipping Mai Tais and pray for the best!
    Hugs, Lizy
    P.s. came from Spatulas on Parade this time...even though it seems like I'm always here, lol

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    1. LOL, no stand up for me. I don't do well speaking in front of groups. Good thing I get to hide behind this laptop!

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  21. Don't you love when you do the laundry all tidied up and they throw it on their bed, floor and it ends up back in the laundry folded and never worn, It drives me batty. My 18 yr old daughter has laundry duty, she will wash and dry and I will fold and put in the laundry basket in which the clothes belong.. Not even two days later I will see the same clothes in the laundry room on the bottom of the basket still folded. It really grinds my gears. So.. now our new rule They are all 16 and over if you want your laundry washed, you will wash, dry, fold and put away with an inspection at the end of your laundry day to see if they are put away.. If not, they will come out of the baskets after they have folded them and thrown on their beds for them to fold again. Mean maybe but it takes time and money that they are wasting of both.

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    1. Good for you. Mine are both older too, but I wash, dry, fold and leave everyone their own pile on top of the dryer, they have to grab their pile and put it away. I once tried to get my older son to do his own laundry, but it didn't go well. He ran out of socks and I caught him doing a load that consisted of only 2 pairs of socks, nothing else. UGGGGGH.

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  22. My kids ALWAYS yell for each other when I tell them to "go get" someone. Hmm..Milk/juice with the caps not on. cereal boxes with 1/16 of a cup left inside. Put laundry in the dryer but don't actually turn it on..Yeah, it's always going to be like this.
    I loved this post, Karen. It's always great to know there are other moms out there with imperfect, loveable kids :)

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    1. Oh, I just love the packages of all kinds with just a crumb left inside. 'Cause clearly I'm the only one in this house capable of finding the trash. As if I hid it, or move it around constantly or something . . .

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