Friday, February 28, 2014

Commercial Break

I have to admit that I rarely watch daytime TV. I have one of the morning shows on, sort of as background information (or noise) as i try to pry my eyes open and go about my morning chores.

But I also admit that with the Olympics on the past few weeks, my TV has had a daytime work-out the likes of which it’s never seen. And I’ve had my eyes opened by more than just coffee.

I grew up in the early days of Saturday Night Live. One of the funniest parts of that show was when they did parodies of commercials. You watched and tried to make sense of what you were seeing until it just got so absurd you finally realized that it wasn’t a commercial at al, it was the show and you had been punked. Those were so much fun.

Then there’s the Super Bowl commercials. Some of them were heartwarming, some funny and many were well worth seeing. I loved talking about favorites for days afterwards at dinner. Also so much fun.

And then there were the commercials I’d been seeing with the TV on so much over the last few weeks. At first I thought I had time traveled back to the early days of SNL but no, these things were real.

bakinginatornado.com - Commercial Break

When i stopped laughing, I realized what a service these ads have done for me. I have been forewarned. I will never be buying:

*diet pills that may cause bloating. Ummm, one of us is missing the point. And I don’t think it’s me.
*medication that helps block allergies so I can “live a better life”, but can’t drive while taking it. I don’t know how bad you think my life is, but sitting in my house is actually not a better life.
*toilet paper that makes you enjoy going. Enjoy going? Again I have to say that I don’t know how bad you think my life is but “going” isn’t the highlight of my day no matter what toilet paper I use.
*slippers with a dust mop on the bottom. Sorry, I’ll take a pass. I will not be picking up dirt while I walk.
*any food item that looks meal sized on TV but that I’ve seen in the store and know the package is only big enough to hold a bite. Where did the rest of it go? That’s OK, I’ll just make my own.


bakinginatornado.com - Favorite Cacciatore (stove top or crock pot)
Favorite Cacciatore

*any service that tries to scare me into purchasing it by telling me that if I don't I'll be body-slammed by a lowland gorilla.
*any and all medication for constipation. Hey, I’ve got kids, I know exactly how to get rid of constipation pretty cheaply. It’s called fast food.
*pick your price insurance? I was so hopeful. I actually looked into it. I went to their website and I picked my price. Apparently they don’t like “free” as much as I do.
*stain remover that “may not remove all stains”.  I’m a little confused, this is like Russian Roulette? Pay your money and take your chances?
*anything at all that can cause rash, hives, swelling of the lips tongue or throat, stomach pain, leg cramps, vomiting, perforation of the bowels, difficulty breathing, diarrhea, tumors, back pain, numbness, blurred vision, ringing in the ears or death.
*any car that, in order to find it, I have to run through town following a blue line.
*any product where the commercial says “prices start at”. Duh, I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck yesterday. I know that “prices start at” is code for "you'll pay at least double".


Bakinginatornado.com


Favorite Cacciatore
(stove top or crock pot)
                                                                                ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
3 large boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite sized pieces
1 can stewed tomatoes
3 roma tomatoes, chopped
½ cup vegetable broth
½ cup white wine
1 tsp minced garlic
1 tsp minced garlic
1 tsp garlic powder
1 1/2 tsp Italian seasoning
1 tsp oregano
¾  tsp red pepper flakes
1 large onion, sliced
1 red pepper, sliced
8 oz mushrooms, quartered
3 oz jar of green olives, drained
7 oz jar quartered artichoke hearts, drained
OPT: serve over tricolored rotini
 
Directions, crock pot:
*Spray crockpot with cooking spray.
*Mix stewed tomatoes, fresh tomatoes, vegetable broth, wine, garlic and seasonings together in the crock pot.
*Add in the chicken, onion, red pepper and mushrooms.
*Cook on low for about 7 hours. Mix the ingredients around a few times if possible.
* Add green olives and artichokes. Cook another hour.
NOTE: Crockpot sizes and heat levels differ, you may need to adjust heat level or times a little to work with your slow cooker.
 
Directions, stove top:
*In a large pot, bring stewed tomatoes, fresh tomatoes, vegetable broth, wine, garlic and seasonings to a boil.
*Reduce heat and add the onion, red pepper, mushrooms and chicken. Simmer for 45 minutes or until chicken is fully cooked.
*Add in the green olives and artichokes. Cook 15 minutes more.

18 comments:

  1. Dude. I have those slippers.

    Okay, maybe I shouldn't have called you dude. We don't know one another all that well ... ehem. BUT, I got those as a Chanukah gift years ago from my husband. Want to imagine how well that went over? ;) It was kind of funny, though. KIND OF.

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  2. Bwahahaha! Loved this! And now, if I ever turn on the TV, I'm forewarned. That's definitely what friends do for friends! :)

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    Replies
    1. If you ever turn on the TV? Really? You're missing a lot of entertainment, and I'm not talking about the shows.

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  3. It says a lot about me when I don't read the post but skip right down to the recipe and devour every details! Sorry! But not!

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  4. Oh yeah, I know the SNL commercial parodies! There was one for "kotex penie pads" years ago that is still one of my favorites. and remember that PMS one with Tina Fey? OMG. They're so funny!!

    Your list had me laughing so hard!!

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    Replies
    1. Those SNL commercials were the best. Maybe we should do some vlogs, bring back the commercial parody. You don't mind being body slammed by a lowland gorilla, do you?

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  5. Yea, I feel the same way about some of the medication commercials. The side effects alone make me think that I'd rather suffer from whatever ailment they are suppose to fix.

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    Replies
    1. I know, it makes me laugh. I think if the possible side effect is death. . . I'll pass.

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  6. Amen to this! I think I know every one of these commercials you described. I despise car commercials---they are SO LOUD. Oh, I remember those SNL commercials--hilarious! I got punked by them many times. Today's commercials for medications---wow! You're right---they promise you a better life and show people holding hands on the beach, etc….then warns you it might cause heart attack, stroke and possible death. Not worth it for the hubs to buy hair growth medication. My fave---the ones for Viagra warning users they might have an erection lasting longer than 4 hours. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? What woman wants THAT??? Funny, funny post, Karen, and the recipe looks delicious as always!

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    Replies
    1. The medication commercials are definitely the funniest. Who sees those and says "I gotta run out and get that".

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  7. Love this SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!
    We are constantly making fun of commercials around here. The local commercials are the best. They are just SOOOOO bad!!!

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    Replies
    1. Oh, yeah, the local ones are the best at being the worst.

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  8. Great. I'm sitting here at 1:00 in the morning, need to go to bed soon, and now starving reading your blog and drooling over that cacciatore. Time to raid the fridge and it's your fault!

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    Replies
    1. It's so good and so easy, you need to try it. Maybe not at 1:00 am, though.

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  9. Karen, I was laughing so hard at that first part! I have to agree with you. The pick your price insurance is just hysterical. I'd like to type in free too.

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    Replies
    1. I could write one of these about absurd commercials every week. I really want to know what those marketing people could possibly be thinking.

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