Friday, July 11, 2014

Secret Subject Swap, July 2014

Welcome to another Secret Subject Swap. This week 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Secret Subject Swap - Baking In A Tornado

My subject is: hold on or let go? It was submitted by Sparkly Poetic Weirdo.

When all of the prompts were given out, I was actually surprised to have ended up with this one. Last January my friend Jennifer of Outsmarted Mommy asked me to write a piece for her Motherhood Monday series. I wrote a post called Holding On While Letting Go. With her kind permission, I’m reposting it here:

Holding on and letting go. Two completely different concepts, right? But right now I find myself trying to balance both.

I have two boys, teenagers at this point. One just finished his freshman year in college. The other just graduated high school. I’m not sure how this all happened, I just know that old cliche “time flies” is a cliche for a reason.

My boys are a little more than a year apart in age. So when my older son was born, I had a year alone with him. He was a baby and it was time I treasured.

There were instances after my younger son was born that I felt a little guilty. My older son had time where he was an only child, time to bond alone with mom that my younger son would never have. My younger son would have to share me from the time he was born.

Of course bonding doesn’t work that way. He may have an older brother and he may not have had time alone with mom, but the beauty of bonding is that it doesn’t have to happen in a vacuum. It happens organically on a solid foundation of love and nurturing.



Easy Grilled Halibut


The boys are opposites in every way. Looks, temperament, interests and personality. I love this about them, they are each individuals. They’re wonderful in their own ways, and trying in their own ways as well. When they were little and were jealous of the other’s strengths, I’d always tell them “you don’t have to be like him, I already have one of him, you be you.”

Fast forward to a year ago. My older son was a senior in high school and my younger son a junior. It was a tough year. You’ve heard of the “terrible twos”, well the teenage years are the terrible twos on hormones, with a driver’s license and YOUR car. Older son was more of a handful for a vast number of reasons and really pushed every one of my buttons he could find. I’m convinced he even manufactured a few I didn’t know I had.

I have to admit that I started blogging and venting and maybe even hiding now and then. And yes, I even started the college countdown. On any given day of that year I could tell you how many days till he started college. It’s possible I even had that countdown down to minutes.




Easy Grilled Halibut
(going to the grill)


I won’t say that I wasn’t relieved to drop College Boy off, I was, but there was comfort in knowing hat he was only an hour from home.

I also won’t say that I didn’t miss him like crazy. I will admit that when Hubs and I did actually leave him, I texted him for the first time before we even pulled out of the dorm parking lot.

But I went home to circumstances I hadn’t thought about all those years ago. It had happened. I had a year alone with my younger son.

It’s completely different from that year I spent alone with my older son. This younger son is in many ways my baby, but he’s also in many ways a grown man. He’s got his own friends and his own life, but we have time together as well. He’s off to college in another month and, I say through my tears, it’s one far away. But no matter what the plans are, just as I did with my older son all those years ago, I’m treasuring this time alone with my younger one.

And like it or not, I’m finding myself living that dichotomy:

Holding on . . .
                    . . .  while letting go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there.



Baking In A Tornado

Easy Grilled Halibut
                                                                             ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
1 - 1 1/2# Halibut
1/2 cup Italian salad dressing
1 TBSP fresh or 3/4 tsp dried dill
1 clove garlic, minced
3/4 tsp ginger, minced
1 TBSP dijon mustard
 fresh lemon slices

 
Directions:
*In a bowl, mix together the salad dressing, dill, garlic, ginger and dijon. 
*Place halibut and 2 of your lemon slices on a plate, cover with the marinade. Gently turn halibut so marinade coats all sides.
*Refrigerate for 2 - 4 hours, turning now and then 
*While your grill is cold and turned off, grease the surface. Heat your grill to medium.
*Place the halibut on the hot grill. Discard the lemon slices that have been in the marinade. How long you cook will depend on the thickness of your halibut and the heat level of your grill. I leave it for 5 - 10 minutes. Gently, with a spatula big enough to get under the entire piece of fish, flip over.
*Continue cooking until the fish flakes easily with a fork. Don't flip again and make sure not to overcook.
*Serve with freshly cut lemon slices.
 

30 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thank you, Donna. I'm glad to have had the chance.

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  2. Glad you reposted that as it was beautiful.

    I liked what you did with the prompt! Way to rock it lady :)

    Also...that fish platter is too cute!

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    1. Thank you, Jenn, it certainly was a perfect piece for this prompt.

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  3. Another awesome post. They are very lucky to have you as a mom. Holding on and letting go, a hard concept.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, that point when we're just on the verge of having an empty nest is such a unique time. So much adjustment.

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  4. Oh damn.......this dust is making my eyes water.

    Beautiful post. I could so feel your pain through this. I'm so happy you got a year with your youngest son.....

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    1. Yes, me too. And I'm so sad that it's winding down.

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  5. Such a great perspective - I'm so glad you reposted it! The way things are working out, I think both of my boys will be moving out the same year - but that's a whole separate therapy session :). Perfect time of year for a halibut recipe - looks delicious! Have a great weekend.

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    1. The only thing worse than having them leave one after the other would be if they both left the same year. I'm here if you need someone to talk to. I'll be crying but I can still listen.

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  6. Beautiful and heart-breaking. I'm seeing a glimpse into my future! ((HUGS))

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    Replies
    1. Yes, most of us do get here eventually. And it's a testament to us that we do. We will always love them but like our parents did with us, we know it's in their best interest to know they're ready to go.

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  7. I love the phrase you use here, "You don't have to be like him. I already have one of him." This is a constant struggle with me and my 18 yr. old son.I'm trying to help him see that while he is different from his siblings, that it is his uniqueness that I love most about him. Great post as always. Sadly though, not a fan of fish, (yeah, I know, how can that BE since I live by the ocean….) but the Hubs loves it! :)

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    Replies
    1. OK, there is something seriously wrong here, you live near the ocean and don't like fish. I live in the Midwest, can't get fresh fish and love it.

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  8. Awe I am not looking forward to this at all. I already have 2 in school and I feel like my oldest gets the short end every time.

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    Replies
    1. Cherish every minute. I know it sounds cliche, but it really goes by in a heartbeat.

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  9. "You don't have to be like him. I already have one of him. You be you."
    That's the best advice I've ever read.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. I really love that my boys are so different, especially being so close in age.

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  10. There's so many things we have to learn as moms: changing diapers handling all kinds and sizes of car seats, getting your baby to sleep, pureeing veggies,throwing birthday parties… and I'm pretty sure for every single one of them there are books and "how to" videos out there. And then there is the one thing nobody can tell you how to do it: letting go. I guess we'll have to figure this one out all alone. Just know that you're not completely alone. Even though school is just starting for my little one, I hear you, and I'm just 6 or 7 time zones away. Wait, it's called a mouse click away. Hang in there, my friend :-)

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    Replies
    1. So close and yet so far! Thanks for the support, you know I appreciate it.

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  11. Beautiful! It is great to see your kids grow up, but it so hard to let them go. I love that you had that year alone with your younger son, I am sure he loved his time with you too. These are special times that will live in your memories for a long time.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I'm treasuring the time, but I don't love that I'm also in the final countdown to when he leaves. Such a bittersweet time.

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  12. When I decided to have kids, I knew my role was to make them independent eventually - but my goal was never to have to let go... it is hard!
    I love your fish plate ...

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    Replies
    1. I know, it's something I really never thought about and now it's here.

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  13. It's so hard at fist, that letting go but you will find it enjoyable. Now my kids are grown and have families of their own. We have a different relationship now but one I treasure deeply. I was so proud a couple of months ago when I overheard my daughter say "My mom is my very best friend". Life is all about phases each one better than the last.

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    Replies
    1. As difficult as this build up to his leaving is, I know you're right, that I'll learn to love this next phase. It may take me a while though. Possibly quite a while.

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  14. I think you are doing a great job balancing both of those, and it's good for your kids. They need their space for independence and stuff like that that I remember thinking was important when I was that age. Of course, now, I'm at that age where I'd love to move back home and have mommy and daddy take care of me again. I wouldn't even complain about not liking dinner, like I'd eat it and be all "that was delicious mom."

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    Replies
    1. Yes, funny how much more we appreciate our moms after we've had to be the ones to take care of us for a while, isn't it?

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  15. This was beautiful, and you know I'm right there with you. Letting go, I'm learning comes first. As soon as that first break happens, you hold on to each other a bit tighter almost immediately. Think of teaching them to swim. The kids want to jump or let go for the first time. As soon as they do, their little arms are reaching back to make sure you're there. I'm seeing that now with Alex. We let her go. It hurt like hell; before I knew it, she's hugging me and telling me all the things i wanted her to say for years. In time, all that effort comes right back in the form of a thank-you or a squeeze, or a phone call.You've got this.

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    Replies
    1. Sure helps knowing you've been there and you're here for me, I'll tell you that.

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