Friday, April 1, 2016

Down the Drain

I published a blog post a few days ago called The American Revolution, Circa 2016. It's a serious discussion of my assessment of this election year. It's never been more evident that our country is going in the wrong direction. Yes, to hell in a hand basket, up a creek, down the drain. All probably not exactly what the founding fathers had in mind. The will of a few has taken over the will of the people and I, for one, am sick of it. When did we become a country of blocking every single thing a president tries to do without giving it any thought just because it came from him? Why did we become so overtaxed and under represented? When has the process of choosing a presidential candidates become so blatantly about closed door scheming and manipulation?

I honestly don't know which is worse, the status quo of blindly accepting the will of the party elite, or the specific way in which so many of us are pushing back. We, my friends, are screwed. Make that super screwed.

Down the drain. Without a paddle.

Down the Drain (April Fools) Cookie, a fun April Fools joke and a delicious dessert treat all in one | Recipe by www.BakingInATornado.com | #cookie #dessert #AprilFools

Down the Drain (April Fools) Cookie 
Down the Drain (April Fools) Cookie, a fun April Fools joke and a delicious dessert treat all in one | Recipe by www.BakingInATornado.com | #cookie #dessert #AprilFools



So I call for political reform. Although I'd love to start with the electoral college, have each person's vote carry the same weight as the next, I may not be up to the task of amending the constitution. So lets start small. Like letting the people really know what you stand for. Not just promises and grandiose statements with no backing, lets see who you really are. How's that for a novel idea? So I propose this. Anyone who wants to run for president, in order to be put on the ballot, needs to answer a survey. Ten questions. Answered hooked up to a lie detector, of course:

1) My neighbor's dog poops on my lawn. I want a wall built. How do I get him to pay for it?

2) Should we task our border patrol with keeping out anyone with curly hair? If so, what if someone's hair is naturally curly and I . . . oops, I mean they . . . straighten it.

3) Boxers or briefs. Because clearly this is a campaign season of discussing all of the salient issues. Or is that salacious?

4) Should adult women have to relinquish control of their reproductive choices? And if so, shouldn't adult men too? Any out there not had a vasectomy? Never been circumcised? Line up . . .

5) Who do you hate? And I want names.

6) In the spirit of "he who smelt it, dealt it", if the politicians are the only ones raising taxes, shouldn't they be the only ones paying them?

7) Does size matter?

8) If we, in this country, are ensured certain unalienable rights, like life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, should love and marriage be for everyone, or just some of us? And if it's just some of us, can I be the person to decide who?

9) Update Herbert Hoover's (you know who he was, right?) "a chicken in every pot". What should every American home have these days? And please do not say "a teenager". Been there, done that, barely survived.

10) How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? No, I'm not kidding. If you can't respond to long winded pointless statements apropos of nothing, you're not cut out for Washington politics.

Answer those and I'll be ready to cast my vote. Which will count for nothing in the long run anyway. Pass the Draino.

Down the Drain (April Fools) Cookie, a fun April Fools joke and a delicious dessert treat all in one | Recipe by www.BakingInATornado.com | #cookie #dessert #AprilFools


Hope you're having a fun April Fools' Day. And that you're giving as good as you get!
Baking In A Tornado signature | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics

Down The Drain (April Fools) Cookie
                                                                          ©www.BakingInATornado.com


Printable Recipe

 
Ingredients:
1 stick butter, softened
1 stick margarine, softened
1/2 cup sugar 
1 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
2 1/4 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

1/2 stick butter, softened
8 oz cream cheese, softened
1 tsp vanilla
1 TBSP milk
3 cups powdered sugar

blue food coloring
1 TBSP unsweetened cocoa

2 small candies of your choice

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease a pizza pan without holes in the bottom.
*Cream butter, margarine and sugars. Beat in eggs and vanilla.
*Mix in flour, baking soda and salt.
*Pat out onto the pizza pan until the consistency is fairly even. I just put onto the pan and move it around and flatten it out with a spatula.
*Bake approximately 16 - 18 minutes, till it's puffed and lightly browned.
*Remove from oven and cool completely. Using a knife, gently score the cookie to outline a toilet seat, first a large oval, then a second about 2 inches inside the first.
*Score outside the oval in a cross pattern, first one way, then the opposite.
*Beat the cream cheese, 1/2 stick butter and vanilla until smooth. Carefully, starting off at your lowest speed, beat in the powdered sugar. If it's too stiff, add the milk 1 tsp at a time. If it's too loose, add a little more powdered sugar. You want it at a consistency that will spread gently and easily.
*Remove 1/2 cup of the frosting to a clean bowl. Color with blue food coloring
*Remove another 1/4 cup of frosting to another clean bowl. Mix in the baking cocoa and place into the corner of a plastic baggie.
*Frost between the two ovals with the white frosting. Gently drag a knife along the edges to define them.
*Frost the center with the light blue frosting.
*Cut the corner of the plastic bag and pipe a tall swirl of chocolate frosting into the center of the blue frosting. Garnish with the candy pieces.
*Store in the refrigerator and bring to room temperature before serving.

17 comments:

  1. Love the appropriately decorated cookie!
    I wouldn't have a hope of answering those questions but do politicians ever actually ANSWER a question? I suspect they've been trained to just ramble on until the audience is lost and have forgotten what the question was to start with....Good luck with your election!

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    Replies
    1. I'm afraid you're right. The "answers" would probably have nothing to do with the questins.

      Delete
  2. LOL you did it!!! The cookie. LOvE IT
    Now about those questions...I have some I'd love to add! Our choices are ridiculous and have been the last two elections. Sad state of affairs that our country is in, once so great, now in debt and not so great. I love America and pray she returns to the once great status.

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  3. The question isn't how much wood a woodchuck should be able to chuck if give the opportunity to do its job. The real matter here is that woodchuck's right to choose whether he (or she) *wants* to remain in a preset role of chucking wood which society has assigned to him (or her). Now, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with chucking wood. Don't get me wrong. There are many hardworking members of the woodchuck community that help make up the backbone of our society. I'm just saying that, in today's society, there are a lot of opportunities for young woodchucks who want to expand their horizons. Through educational reform & proper mechanisms in place to ensure the provision of equal opportunities for man, woman & rodent alike, I believe we can give our woodchuck community a more productive role in this great nation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Excellent point, my friend, and spoken like a true politician!

      Delete
  4. Good questions, but as a wanna be politician ( NOT) , I can't answer any of them in case they come back to bite me on the butt........

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now there's got to be a joke in there somewhere tying your "butt" comment to my cookie.

      Delete
  5. Wood chuck chuck chuck chuck...
    I have a question: if the neighbour's dog poops cookies, do you still want a wall built..?
    Yes, hook them up to lie detectors for every speech, that'll improve things! Or at least make things more interesting as in entertaining!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love your question. Let me speak to my advisors and get back to you!

      Delete
  6. I will sign the petition for those questions to be asked at the next debate! loved the cake this what everyone sees when they look at my cooking daily!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No it is not what people see. And I can't wait to see all the food you make for your upcoming party.

      Delete
  7. Is that cookie really sitting on the toilet!? Who am I kidding! I'd probably still eat it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. Well, with some layers of towels, tin foil and plastic wrap under it. And yes, we ate it.

      Delete
  8. OMG. The cookie is "hysterrible" (as I said over on Facebook), the questions are even better! Thanks for a good laugh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But you have to admit it's the perfect cookie for April Fools' Day!

      Delete
  9. Absolutely! :D That am the foolishest cookie I ever saw!

    ReplyDelete

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