Seniors and Seniors

I got a letter in the mail recently.  My boys got a good long laugh out of it.  It was a solicitation for a magazine, a fairly daily occurrence in my (and probably most) houses.  This one however offered me, by name mind you, a senior discount. Ouch. Really?  You’re going to send me a letter that doesn’t just insult me but makes me a laughing stock in my own home and then you think I’m going to send you money?  As marketing strategies go, this one s*cks (stinks). 

And yet I must admit:

The older my kids get, the more cunning they get about manipulating situations to their benefit.  Not that this hasn’t always been the case, but how they go about it has, let’s just say, evolved.  It used to take little effort to see through them.  Not so much these days.  At the point when I need my brain at its sharpest, it seems to be conspiring to fail me.  The dreaded “senior moments” have not just arrived, they’re kicking my a$$ (butt).

Do you have any idea how much your impact is diminished when you have to stop a lecture because the name of the offense has escaped you?  You try describing the offense so you don’t lose momentum, but the frustrated look on your face gives you away.  You know you’ve lost the battle entirely when the guilty party laughingly provides the elusive word.

Here’s another favorite: waking up at about 4:30am (again) and can’t get back to sleep.  Get up and do I-can’t-even-tell-you-what. 3 hours later I’m angry because my son isn’t ready for school and is going to be late. Half way up the stairs, I remember that his alarm isn’t working and I’d promised to wake him up.

An example of how I recently spent a morning wasting my time:  grabbed purse & keys, jumped in the car, went to drive up window at bank, drove to grocery store, parked, got out of car, got back in car, drove home, went in house, put on shoes. 

Caramel Apple Slices

Just to add to the “that’s not fair” of the whole situation: I have a son who’s a senior too, in High School. And this senior thing is working out quite differently for him. He has gained freedom this year, and as a result I have lost more.  You see, his school has open-campus for seniors. This means that he can leave during his lunch time. Let me ask you this, with only ½ hour for lunch and the school only ½ mile up the street, where do you think he’s going to go? Wish I didn’t keep forgetting that I need to change the locks.

Love you, son (whatever your name is).

Caramel Apple Slices
                                     ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

5.5 ounce packages of chewy caramels (I used Werthers), 1 package per apple

1 Tbsp water (per package of caramels)

Apples

Multicolored sprinkles 

3/4 cups chocolate chips (per apple)

Directions:

*Core and slice apples into rounds and/or wedges.

*Lay apple pieces on paper towels, cover with another paper towel an press down. Apples need to be as dry as possilble.

*Lightly coat a sheet of wax paper with no-stick food spray.

*Work with one package of candy at a time so it doesn’t harden while trying to coat apples.

*In a microwave safe pie dish, put 1 package of unwrapped candies and 1 Tbsp water. Microwave for 40 seconds. Stir, continue at 10 second intervals until smooth.

* Dip apple slices, one at a time in the caramel. DON'T TOUCH THE CARAMEL, but turn the apple (I used a toothpick).

*Put onto wax paper, sprinkle with multicolored sprinkles. Repeat for the rest of the slices.

*If the caramel starts to harden before you’re done, put back into microwave at 10 second intervals until you can use it again.

*Repeat with the rest of the apples.

*Allow to set. They’ll set quicker in the refrigerator.

*Melt chocolate chips in microwave at 10 second intervals until you can stir them and they’re smooth.

*Drizzle the chocolate over the caramel apple slices. (I did dip a couple of apple slices just in the chocolate). 
*These need to be eaten soon after making them as they are apple slices not whole apples.

Stop Playing Games with Me

You’re either a game person or you’re not.  It just so happens I’m not.  I’m not particularly competitive and so don’t often choose to spend my leisure time pitting myself against someone else.  My sister is a game person and would always ask me to play, knowing I’d say “no”.  In later years she’s ask, laugh, then just deal the cards and look at me.  Guess she got sick of “no”.

And then I had kids.  When my kids were little we used to play games all the time, although playing with kids was completely different;  no competitive pitting required.  I’d look for games that would build on their math or language skills.  Most important, though, was the time together.  For a few years we’d have a Wednesday routine.  We’d go to a local book store for their storytime, then to lunch, then we’d spend the afternoon playing games.  Of course that didn’t last and the boys eventually decided they’d rather watch TV or play one of their game systems.  In desperation I even taught them Cosmic Whimpout (any UMies out there?) even though you can barely read my dice now.  No go, they take after me.  Games actually became a tool of manipulation, although to be fair, for all of us.

Me: “You can have that brownie if you play a word game while you eat it.”

or:

Son:  “If you let me use the computer for another hour I’ll play a game with you.”

  Caramel Corn, our favorite football watching snack

A few years ago my sister had surgery to her foot.  Afterwards she had to stay off of it for hours at a time and to take her mind off of the pain she asked me to play Scrabble with her on Facebook.  That started a years-long round of game after game of FB Scrabble.  My sister lives hundreds of miles away.  To this day I don’t know if she ever had surgery or just played the sympathy card ‘cause she knew it would work.  About a year ago she switched from Scrabble to Words With Friends and started a game with me.  I didn’t like it at all.  First of all, in Scrabble you can type a bunch of letters into a box and it’ll tell you if you’ve stumbled on a word or not.  Not so in Words With Friends.  I had to stop playing due to a medical condition; my brain hurt.  Second, that game cheats.  I don’t know how much she paid those people, but we played one game, I lost, and the next time I went in there it said I had lost 3 games.  Listen, I don’t need any help making me look bad.  I’m quite capable of doing it on my own.

To make things worse, my kids, now teens, have decided to play a whole new kind of game with me:

Me: “Where did you go last night?”

Son:  “Out.”

Me: “Oh, good, twenty questions.  Was it bigger than a breadbox?” 

NOWthey want to play games?

Caramel Corn
                                     ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

4 bags of microwave popcorn, popped

1 stick butter

2 cups brown sugar

½ cup light corn syrup

1 tsp salt

½ tsp baking soda

1 tsp vanilla

Directions:

*WARNING:Throughout this recipe and until the caramel corn is completely finished and has cooled a bit, DO NOT touch the caramel. It’s burning hot.

*Preheat oven to 250 degrees.  Grease 3 baking sheets. I use the disposable ones.

*Divide the popcorn amongst the 3 baking sheets. Remove unpopped kernels. Put into oven to keep the popcorn warm while making the caramel.

*In a heavy medium sized pan, at medium heat, melt the butter. Add the brown sugar, corn syrup and salt.

*Bring to a boil while stirring continuously (I use a heat resistant spatula).

*Once it’s boiling, let it boil for 4 minutes without stirring. Leave heat on medium.

*After 4 minutes, remove from heat and CAREFULLY stir in baking soda and vanilla.

*Take popcorn from oven and pour the caramel as evenly as you can over all the popcorn. Mix it up a little on each baking sheet and return to oven. Bake for 15 minutes.

*With the spatula, fairly quickly, give the caramel corn a stir, mixing it around as much as possible.

*Return to oven, cook 15 minutes, stir, return to oven cook 15 minutes, stir etc. until you’ve done this 4 times and it’s been in the oven an hour total. Stir one last time.

*Cool a bit before eating.