Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Help Wanted

It’s no secret that I will be an empty-nester in just a month. I’ve talked a lot about giving thought to whether or not I should continue blogging. I started this blog for a few reasons, some (two actually, who shall remain nameless) of which are flying the coop . . . or leaving the nest . . . or something.

I’ve been encouraged by some really amazing people who read this blog and join in conversations on my FB page to continue blogging. I wasn’t really sure I could without the causes of my stress and the eaters of my baked goods here. But after much thinking and weighing and soul searching I’ve come up with a plan. Genius, really.

I need replacements. New muses. And I know just how to do it. I’m taking applications.

It’s not a live-in job. I think we have less of a chance of my head exploding if I just hire the staff on an “as needed” basis this time around.

I encourage you, if you feel as though you’re up to the challenge, to fill out the paperwork and start the process. Slackers need not apply.

Help Wanted - Baking In A Tornado

Job Application

Part One: Position
______ Taste Tester
______ Back Talker
______ Eye Roller
______ Mess Creator
______ Excuse Maker
______ Any available position, I can do all of those

Part Two: Personal
Name: _________________________________________________
Aliases: ________________________________________________
Number of Penitentiaries inhabited: __________________
Hours available (check one):   ______ all       ______ none

Part Three: Health
check one:      ______ sane             ______ a little Crackers           ______total wackadoodle
                      ______passive          ______ aggressive                    ______ Passive/aggressive
                                  ______ strong stomach                  ______ I’m a puker
                                  ______ convincing liar                  ______ I’m a twitcher
                                  ______ strong moral compass        ______ lost in the woods
                    Number of times your stomach has been pumped __________________________
                    Decibel level at which you play music  ______________________________________
                    Number of minutes it takes to turn on every light in the house ____________
                    Do you have a “tell” _________________________________________________________

Part Four: Work History
Please list all previous jobs with skills pertinent to the position for which you are applying.
NOTE: Any applicants with references who will attest that you are well behaved, show up on time, maintain a clean work space, are respectful, answer phones and/or follow rules will be forced to spend time with my teenagers.
1. ___________________________________________________________________________________________
2. __________________________________________________________________________________________
3. __________________________________________________________________________________________

Part Five: Recommendations
Please list 3 people, living or dead, who will attest to your ability to roll your eyes, talk back, storm out of a room, make poor choices, eat your weight in chocolate, take two hour showers, sleep late, miss deadlines and glare someone to death.
1. ___________________________________________________________________________________________
2. __________________________________________________________________________________________
3. __________________________________________________________________________________________

Part Six: Corroborating Documentation
Attachments required:
______ Birth Certificate                ______ Death Certificate                 ______ Green Card
______ Driver’s License                ______ Credit Card                           ______ Debit Card
______ Insurance Card                 ______ blood alcohol level                 ______ arrest record
______ credit score                       ______ IQ                                           ______ birth order
______ school transcript               ______Voter Registration                 ______Will
______ mug shot                           ______ blood type                              ______ ERA

Part Seven: Wage Requirements
What are you willing to pay for this once in a lifetime experience? ____________________
Is that negotiable? ________________________________________________________________________

Waiver:
My signature herein serves as my word that all information provided on this application to be true based in truth somewhat true not completely fabricated. Submission of this application absolves potential employer of all responsibility for anything, any time, anywhere and under any circumstances.


_____________________________   ________                 _______________________________  ________
          Applicant                      date                                 Next of Kin                   date

Interviews will be scheduled at the whim of the prospective employer. Baked goods will be supplied. BYOB.



Berry Ricotta Cinnamon Turnover |  www.BakingInATornado.com
Berry Ricotta Cinnamon Cups
Berry Ricotta Cinnamon Turnover |  www.BakingInATornado.com
 

Made a few as Turnovers, too
Watch for this cocktail recipe in an upcoming blog post

 Baking In A Tornado 
                
Berry Ricotta Cinnamon Cups
                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com                                                                                                                                       
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
1 package refrigerated cinnamon rolls 8 per package)
¾ cup ricotta (I used low fat)
2 TBSP sugar
½ tsp vanilla
1 ½ cups mixed berries, larger ones chopped
Flour for rolling
 
Directions:
*Grease 8 muffin tins. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
*Mix the ricotta with the sugar and vanilla. Mix in the berries.
*Separate the cinnamon rolls. Sprinkle some flour on a piece of wax paper. Place a cinnamon roll on the flour, sprinkle top with more flour and cover with another piece of wax paper. Using a rolling pin, flatten the roll until it is a circle about 5 inches long and wide.
*Carefully remove the top wax paper and release the roll from the bottom one. Using your finger, pinch together any spots where the roll has separated, you don’t want holes.
*Place onto a muffin tin and gently squeeze sides together while sliding the roll in. Repeat with all rolls.
*Divide the filling amongst the roll cups. With your fingers, gently fold the sides over the top as far as it goes, it won’t cover the whole top.
*Bake for 15 minutes. Remove from oven and allow to sit in the muffin tins for 10 to 15 minutes.
*Carefully run a knife around the edges to release and remove each cup.
*Store leftovers in refrigerator, bring to room temperature to serve.

38 comments:

  1. My suggestion is to get yourself a cute baby kitten or a little dog when the kids fly off. Or maybe a bird:)
    Elderly neighbors are great taste testers...
    The cinnamon cups look so yummy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm, I'm going to have to consider that recommendation.

      Delete
  2. Best ever! I'm applying! I meet all the criteria, just ask my mom, husband, and boss. LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hurry up and get your application in. I start the next step of the process next Tuesday. Watch for it!

      Delete
  3. Now that you have an opening, I think you should adopt me so I can enjoy your baking.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fill out the application and we'll get working on that.

      Delete
  4. This is so funny Karen! I will definitely apply for taste tester! You can always come help us in January take care of my upcoming twin grandchildren. I am sure we will need all the help we can get!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Congratulations! I'd LOVE to help with the babies, sounds like so much fun.

      Delete
  5. You had me at eye roller. *sigh* Now where's my pie???? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh, man. This job is right up my alley. I fit every position available and even some you haven't listed. Most of the time, the decibel level of my music allows conversation to continue without having to shout, but if YMCA by the Village People comes on, I give no guarantees that you won't be sucked into doing the line dance with me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, so far it sounds like you have the right credentials!

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. Well, you can plead the fifth but that kind of behavior just might move you along in the process.

      Delete
  8. It is with great sadness that I must decline your offer to complete this application. I would have enjoyed bringing some chaos to your life and eating your goodies but I live in a perfect world, had perfect children and cannot relate to your needs. However, it has been so many years that I have lived in an empty nest, perhaps I have forgotten what it was like. Gotta run now --- here come the grand kids!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can only hope and pray that I end up with your selective memory. Enjoy the grand kids.

      Delete
  9. Based on the above-stated requirements, I think I'd be perfect for the job. I eye-roll with the best of them, have a strong stomach and can be very passive/aggressive. Sadly, I'm in somewhat "extended" contract with my wife but I'll pass the word on for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh no, darn that extended contract. Sounds like you would have been a perfect fit.

      Delete
  10. I'm a totally passive aggressive whack a doodle with a blood alcohol level often near 0.08 who is a master at eye rolls, smart ass comments and questionable morals. What are my chances? =)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think your chances are pretty good. Come back here next week for the next step in the application process.

      Delete
  11. Hmmm....I guess we will see if I get the job....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll have to go over your application. Next step is a test, better get studying just in case.

      Delete
  12. OMG!! That application is BRILLIANT!!!!!
    BTW, I have a few extras at my house. I can send them to you...... ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, tell them to fill out the application . . .

      Delete
  13. Well, if baked goods are included.....Since I still have teenagers at home (for the moment anyway), I have lots of on the job training!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I hate to brag but I'm a FABULOUS eye roller and taste tester.

    I'm afraid I can't apply though you make too many yummy things and that is just too tempting ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry you won't be applying, Jenn. My loss.

      Delete
  15. Looking at the earlier comments it looks like you have a lot of taker for the job. Everyone would miss you too much Karen if you didn't blog so you have to keep it up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Dawn. For now I'm planning on it but we'll all see what happens when the time comes. Maybe my kids will call me daily and drive me nuts.

      Delete
  16. What about the ala cart job of putting my hands on my hips and huffing out all the air with a look of disappointment? Surely I could apply on my own recognizance, right? I loved this post, Karen. You must always blog, if not only because you've always been hired as my light-a-fire-under-my-arse gal. Yes, you need a raise! <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know about always blogging, but I'll try to stay with it when the boys are gone. I think I should be able to manage it if this job search works out.

      Delete
  17. There's paperwork now??
    Sigh....

    ReplyDelete
  18. I think I'll lend you my son. But my daughter is very good at eye rolling. And they are both very good at fake ID's. But that was about 6 years ago! I keep thinking I should get a new one that makes me younger!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yikes, now that fake ID story is one I'd like to hear.

      Delete
  19. Eye rolling, talking back and storming out of a room....I'm qualified and I do it all with a smile!! Seriously, I hope you don't stop blogging. There's too much talent to be hidden away!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for such a kind compliment. We'll see what happens once the boys are gone. I have to admit I do want to keep going, I just love the community.

      Delete

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