The Whole Truth

I wrote this letter to my boys this past Fall when my oldest was heading into his sophomore year of college nearby and my youngest was about to be a college freshman very far away. I never posted it here on the blog, but now as semester break is far too quickly coming to an end and I'm once again sending PurDude far away, I've come to realize that this blog is truly where this post belongs. See what you think.

My darling boys:
I blinked.

I must have, that’s the only explanation.

I had these beautiful little baby boys. A year apart. So sweet, the loves of my life (ummm, don’t tell your dad that part). Even when you went through the terrible twos and then the worse threes, I loved you every minute.

And then I blinked.

Through the teen years, no matter how high you succeeded in boosting my blood pressure, even when I could hear it roaring in my ears, I loved you like crazy.

Blink.

Now you, my older son, are a sophomore in college. And you, my baby boy, after just one semester are now a sophomore too, but 700 miles away.

I don’t want to disillusion you. I spent many years trying so hard to instill morals and values and impart all the little nuggets of wisdom that make up the Mom’s List of Handy Dandy Cliches. So please don’t judge me too harshly, I was only doing what I thought was expected of me. But now you’re grown, I think you’re ready, you can handle the truth. So good-bye cliches, here it is, what I really want you to know:

Play in traffic. You still want to look both ways, make sure a big old truck isn’t coming, but don’t spend your life on the side of the road. A little traffic play will do you good.

Count your chickens before they hatch. If not, you’ll live expecting that they may not. Expect them to hatch, all of them.

Don’t make wardrobe decisions based on the possibility that you may get into an accident, but do wear clean underwear. Please.

Honesty is not the best policy. In some situations telling a lie is just the right thing to do. The secret to maturity is in knowing when.

Do not keep your enemies closer. Who wants close enemies? Keep your friends closer.

The grass is not always greener. It’s the weeds that make us who we are.

Cleanliness isn’t next to G-dliness. In fact, I don’t have a clue as to what that means and I don’t want to.

It’s not all about what’s inside. Looks matter. I’m not talking about some classic idea of beauty, I’m talking about the way we feel when we look our best. Take showers. Wash your clothes. Get your hair cut. Exercise and eat well. Pizza’s an option but not the only one.

The glass is not always half full. But you can fill it.

Your eyes will NOT get stuck like that. Promise.

An apple a day makes you a good friend to the apple growers. Won’t hurt but don’t expect any miracles either.

You can have your cake and eat it too. In fact, if you let me know when you’re coming, I’ll even bake it for you.

  

Key Lime Sponge Cake

The early bird may catch the worm, but who wants worms anyway? Get a good night’s sleep, be well rested, I’m sure there’ll be a worm or two left if you really have your heart set on worms.

The ends do not always justify the means. That’s an excuse, not a way of life.

Good things may come to those who wait. They also come to those who go out and work for them.

A bird in the hand . . . naaaa, I’m just not going there.

Ultimately there’s no such thing as getting off on the wrong foot. The point is to get moving. If you have to change direction, put on your blinker, make a u-turn and step on the gas.

Love is not blind. You’ll see.

Sometimes you do have to sweat the details, it’s called being prepared.

Time does not heal all wounds. Some will stay with you. Forever. Be very careful not to be the cause of others’ wounds.

Variety is the spice of life but you can ruin a dish if you over-season.

Where there’s smoke there’s not always fire. Sometimes there’s just smoke. Don’t assume, take the time to assess the situation.

Why buy the cow when the milk is free? Because not all cows are good for only one thing. Look deeper.

It’s not always the quality, sometimes it’s the quantity. Fill your life with close friends and family, but leave room for acquaintances, friends of friends and the guy next door.

It’s not just how you play the game. Sometimes winning does matter. Play to win.

Whether or not absence makes the heart grow fonder is immaterial; call your Mom.  This one’s never going to change, may as well just go with it.

And when you fall in love and marry and have kids of your own . . .

                    . . . don’t blink.

So proud. Every day. That part was true. From 9 months before your first breath until long after my last.

Mom

 

 

 

PS: This article was published on The Huffington post as The Truth About Life I Finally Shared With my Grown Sons on 1-13-15, 
on BlogHer as The Whole Truth: A Mom's Letter to her Grown Sons on 1-19-15,
and on The Today Show's Parenting site as The Whole Truth on 5-11-15.

Key Lime Sponge Cake

                                                                    ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
6 eggs
1 1/2 cups sugar, separated
1 tsp lime zest
2 cups flour
12 tsp salt
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup Key Lime juice
1/2 tsp cream of tartar

2 cups heavy cream
1/3 cup powdered sugar
3 TBSP Key Lime juice
1/2 tsp lime zest  
OPT: 3 drops green food coloring
 
Directions:
*Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease and flour two 8-inch round cake pans.
*Bring the eggs to room temperature. Separate into two bowls.
*Beat egg yolks, 1 cup of the sugar and lime zest until thick. Mix together the baking powder, salt and one cup of the flour. Stir into the egg yolk mixture.
*Stir 1/4 cup of Key Lime juice into the egg yolks, followed by the last cup of flour and finally the last 1/4 cup of Key Lime juice. Set aside.
*In the bowl where you put the egg whites, beat them until they're foamy. Add the cream of tartar and beat until solft peaks form. A little at a time, add the last 1/2 cup of sugar and continue to beat until soft peaks form.
*Carefully fold the egg whites into the egg yolk batter.
*Pour into pans and bake for approximately 30 minutes or until center springs back to the touch.
*Cool in pans for 10 minutes, then remove and cool completely.
*While cake is cooling, place a bowl and beater attachments into the fridge.
*Once the cake is cool, remove the bowl and beaters from the fridge. Add the heavy cream to the bowl and beat until soft peaks start to form. Beat in the Key Lime juice and lime zest, then carefully beat in the powdered sugar. Continue to beat until stiff peaks hold. OPT: add the food coloring.
*Place one cake layer on a serving plate, top with about 1/3 of the whipped cream, gently place the second cake layer on top and frost the cake with the rest of the whipped cream.

*Store cake in the fridge.
 

Not So Empty Nest

My empty nest is crowded.

I mean, leave it to me to do the whole “empty nest” thing completely wrong.

I’ve been bitching and moaning about my anticipated empty nest since last May. I think everyone on the planet knows by now that my younger son, PurDude, had narrowed his college acceptance choices down to 2, Georgia Tech and Purdue, both 600 to 900 miles away. If you haven’t read this blog lately you can still probably guess from the name I use for him what his final choice was .

My older son, College Boy, is a sophomore this year. College Boy attended our state university’s main campus last year and would come home once every 4 to 6 weeks, mostly to clean out my pantry, but I got my share of hugs and kisses in while he was here. I’ve gotta say that I enjoyed this arrangement, it was a monthly trade-off I was happy to make.

I was actually happy that PurDude would be attending a week long Boiler Gold Rush program for freshmen. As much as I would have loved having another week with him, what a great idea to be at school a week early with other freshmen involved in fun activities, learning the campus, getting his room set up the way he wants it and getting to know his roommate.

It also allowed me to go from 2 sons here to just one before school started for College Boy one week later. You know, ease into the whole “empty nest” thing.

I had just started to adjust to seeing so many of PurDude’s belongings gone from my house. I still hadn’t made any headway in expecting to hear him come in the garage door. And then the week was gone in a flash and school was starting for College Boy.

But he didn’t leave.

Ummm. Correct me if I’m wrong but I’m pretty sure that’s not how this whole “empty nest” thing is supposed to work. I’m almost positive that food is supposed to stop disappearing in the middle of the night, messes should stop showing up on every surface, music would not be playing at 1:00 am, my car would be returned to my possession, cell phones would no longer go off at 2:00 am. I could even walk around in my underwear and go to the bathroom with the door open.

That’s how it works, right? Where did I go wrong with my expectations?

Caramel Apple Angel Cake

No, College Boy didn’t drop out of school.

He did decide that he didn’t like living in the city where the university’s main campus is. There’s a campus in our city, about 1/2 hour from where we live and he transferred there. Many of his friends went back to the main campus but many also transferred as well.

When the transfer discussion came up, College Boy said that he wanted to move into a house with friends. We told him that since he doesn’t have a car and probably never will since his vocabulary doesn’t extend to the word “saving”, we felt he should live on campus for a semester and show that he can manage his finances. After that we’d help him with off campus housing.

The other definition College Boy has a problem with is the word “deadline”. He thinks it’s more of a “guideline”. It rarely is.

He had to go to orientation, meet with an Advisor, sign up for housing, and order his books. He made it to the last Orientation session only due to my hucking (Jewish for nagging). He finally signed up for housing 3 weeks before school started, saw an Advisor 2 weeks before school started and ordered his books 4 days before the first day. Apparently I need to take a refresher course in hucking. I wonder if they offer one on the campus College Boy will be attending, I can ride in with him. In my car. Because it seems that they put a hold on your account until you see an Advisor. Meaning that his housing request did not go in until his courses were chosen and by then the dorms were full.

I’m sorry, full? Noooooooooo. There must be space somewhere. A broom closet maybe? The laundry room? Maybe I need to start hucking the housing office.

College Boy’s friends won’t be moving into a house until around October. If he wants to join them I won’t be paying for it and I’m not sure he can afford it. You remember I just told you about that whole saving issue. So for now he’ll be living in my not-s0-empty nest, driving my  . . . well, should be mine  . . . car, and I’ll be peeing with the door closed a little longer.

Karma is, in fact, a bitch. All that whining and complaining about my upcoming empty nest that I put out there in the universe?

I take it back.

Please?

Caramel Apple Angel Cake

                                                                          ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
1/2 stick butter
¾ cup brown sugar
1/8 tsp salt
1/2 cup heavy cream, divided
OPT: ¼ cup Cinnamon Bun Vodka
 
1 Angel Food Cake, store bought or home made
8 apples, cored and sliced
2 TBSP stick butter
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp nutmeg
OPT: ½ cup chopped walnuts or toffee bits
 
Directions:
*Whisk ½ stick of butter with ¾ cup of brown sugar and the salt in a medium sized pot over medium heat until the brown sugar is melted and the mixture is smooth. Wisk in ¼ cup of heavy cream and continue whisking while it comes to a boil. Allow to boil for 3 minutes undisturbed. Remove from heat.
*Carefully whisk in the vodka and the rest of the heavy cream. Allow to cool for 45 minutes.
*Melt 2 TBSP of butter in a pan on the stove on medium heat. Add the apples, 1/4 cup brown sugar, the cinnamon and nutmeg. Cook and stir until apples have softened. Set aside to cool.
*Cut the angle cake in thirds horizontally. The easiest way is to turn the cake on its side, insert the knife just to the center, cut and turn the cake. Use the hand holding the cake to hold it together so the piece you’re cutting doesn’t break off. Once bottom third is cut through, remove carefully, place on your serving plate, and cut what’s left of the cake in half the same way.
*Drizzle about 6 TBSP of the caramel sauce over the bottom layer. Spoon about half of the apple mixture over the cake and fill into the center. Drizzle with about 4 TBSP more of caramel sauce.
*Place the middle piece of the cake over the bottom one. Repeat as you did with the bottom layer. Save a little of the apple mixture for filling in the center once you put the top layer on.
*Add the top layer of cake. Fill the center with whatever’s left of the apple mixture. Drizzle with the rest of the caramel sauce. Sprinkle with walnuts and/or toffee bits.
*Store in refrigerator.

What to Expect

Here it comes; emptynestdom (yes, I made that word up, feel free to use it) in all of its glory.

I was prepared with some pretty great books for What to Expect When You’re Expecting, What to Expect the First Year, What to Expect the Second Year and even What to Expect Before You’re Expecting.

But what do you expect after you’ve expected, survived the first year and the second year, not to mention the toddler years, the pre-teens, the teenaged years, the build up to college and more?

What do you expect when the school year starts and your kids are off at college? What do you expect when you’re expecting . . . well  . . . nothing.

I’ll tell you what I'm expecting:

* Silence. And it’s not golden. I’m rethinking that whole “don’t talk back to me, young man” thing. I think I’ll take the back-talk. I’ll start to talk to myself. Out loud. It'll become a habit and people will steer clear of me in department stores.

* Chores will take less time. There’ll be no picking up to do. There will be so much less laundry, not only because there are less people, but because no one throws clean clothes down the laundry chute because they’re too lazy to put them away.

* Dinner will be peaceful. No one complaining about what I'm serving. Even if it’s fish. Even if it’s fish twice a week. And no one is running off in the middle of the meal. Not to mention that every dinner will have leftovers so now I can cook once and eat twice.

* I may get to eat my own meal. I’ve suddenly realized that I’ve never been able to eat a whole burger before. Someone (well, two someones) always finished theirs and grabbed a quarter of mine.

* There’s no one to blame when the toilet paper roll runs out. There’s also no one there when I yell for someone to bring me another one. This one could be a bit of a problem.

* There’s a car in the garage when I want to leave. In fact, there’s two. And they have just as much gas in them as they did the last time I parked them in the garage.

* I plan to sleep through the night. The garage door won't be go up at 1:00 am, no one’s forgetting their key at 2:00 am, the toilet doesn’t flush at 3:00 am (well, unless it’s me), and no one remembers at 4:00 am whatever it is they need for the next day.

* I will actually get to taste me own baking. There’s no longer a group of teens standing by the oven waiting to grab the goodies between there and the counter. And oh, how I'll wish there was.

Dark Chocolate Chip Berry Bread Pudding

* I can no longer ignore my cell when it dings. It may ding every 2 seconds with social media updates and conversations but I'll now check it every single time. Just in case there’s a text.

* The in-house techie has left the building. And this is a very, very big problem for this blogger.

* The grocery store is already a difficult place to be. I have to keep taking out of the cart all of my kids’ favorite foods that I no longer need to buy.

* I'll need to find a new route home. For three years I’ve driven by the high school and smiled when I spot my child’s car. Now I already can’t bear to drive home that way.

* And the countdown, it's changed completely. I used to count down the days until they went off to school. Now I'm already counting the days until I see them again. 46 days as of today, in case you’re interested.

Hope I make it.

 

 

Dark Chocolate Chip Berry Bread Pudding

                                                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
1 (16 oz) loaf of Italian bread, coarsely chopped into cubes
4 ounces whipped cream cheese
8 eggs
3/4 cup hazelnut creamer
3/4 cup milk
¼ cup brown sugar
2 TBSP white sugar
¼ tsp salt
½ tsp cinnamon
1 # berries, cleaned and larger ones sliced
5 oz dark chocolate chips
OPT: powdered sugar, vanilla ice cream or whipped cream for topping
 
Directions:
*Grease a 9 X 13 glass baking dish.
*In a large bowl, whisk the cream cheese, eggs, creamer, milk, sugars, salt and cinnamon.
*Add the bread and mix until all of the bread is wet.
*Gently mix in the berries and dark chocolate chips.
*Spread into the prepared dish and cover with tin foil. Refrigerate for 4 hours or up to a day.
*One hour before cooking, remove dish from refrigerator and place on counter.
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
*Remove tin foil and cook for one hour.
*Remove from oven. Allow to sit for 10 to 15 minutes. Serve warm.

Testing

Last week, in anticipation of my upcoming empty nest yet desire to continue blogging, I published an application in my Help Wanted post. I’m trying to find applicants with attributes similar to those of my boys to take on their ability to cause the stress that results in my inspire me to both bake and blog when they both leave for college in a month. Anyone who’s read this blog over the past two years knows that those boys are a pain in the a$$ unique in their attitudes and actions.

Congratulations to those who’ve made it through the application process. Before we sit down for an interview we have one more step. I’m conducting a test. Don’t be concerned, there’s no right or wrong, this is just to help me better understand whether your natural instincts are a good fit as a stand-in for the boys.

For each of the scenarios below, just pick the answer that you feel fits best with who you are. To assure that you respond with your initial instincts, you’ll only have 1 minute to complete this survey so use your time wisely. Good luck.

Questionnaire

1) The phone is ringing. Do you:

     a) answer it

     b) mind your own business

     c) all of the above

     d) none of the above

2) The tornado signs are going off. Do you:

     a) bake

     b) put on your headphones

     c) all of the above

     d) none of the above

3) The toilet is clogged. Do you:

     a) grab the plunger

     b) keep flushing and flushing and flushing . . .

     c) all of the above

     d) none of the above

4) There’s only a little milk left in the fridge. Do you:

     a) ask if anyone needs it for baking

     b) drink it based on both first come, first served and finders keepers, losers weepers

     c) all of the above

     d) none of the above

5) You’re called to dinner. Do you:

     a) sit down and eat what you can

     b) say you don’t like it even though you don’t know what it is yet

     c) all of the above

     d) none of the above

6) The hand towel from the bathroom is in the wash and no one’s replaced it yet. Do you:

     a) call out to see if someone can bring you a towel

     b) air dry your hands by waving them around, flinging water all over the bathroom

     c) all of the above

     d) none of the above

7) The newspaper is in the driveway. Do you:

     a) bring it in the house

     b) run over it with your car

     c) all of the above

     d) none of the above

8) The timer goes off, the treats are done and no one’s around. Do you:

     a) pull the pan out of the oven and put it on the counter

     b) open the oven and eat the treats out of the pan so they don’t burn

     c) all of the above

     d) none of the above

Toasted PBJ Cups

 

\

9) There’s a $20 bill sitting on the desk in the kitchen. Do you:

     a) leave it there, it’s there for a reason

     b) take it, it was clearly meant for you

     c) all of the above

     d) none of the above

10) I’ve bumped my toe on the coffee table. I’m writhing on the floor, wincing and trying not to cry. Do you:

     a) see if you can help

     b) step over me so you don’t have to ask me to move out of your way

     c) all of the above

     d) none of the above

11) You’ve borrowed the car and it’s almost out of gas. Do you:

     a) go to a gas station and put a little gas in

     b) rush home hoping you make it

     c) all of the above

     d) none of the above

12) The windows are open and it’s just started to pour. Do you:

     a) quickly get the windows closed

     b) assume that they were opened for a reason

     c) all of the above

     d) none of the above

13) You’re locked out of the house, you’ve forgotten your key. Do you:

     a) use the keypad outside the garage door

     b) break a window, you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do

     c) all of the above

     d) none of the above

14) Most of the cake is gone, there are 2 slices left. Do you:

     a) eat one slice

     b) eat them both so no one can fight over them

     c) all of the above

     d) none of the above

15) You come in to work in the morning. There’s no coffee and you know how I am without my coffee. Do you:

     a) quickly get the coffee maker started

     b) quietly back out of the house and call in sick from the driveway

     c) all of the above

     d) none of the above

All tests will be scored when I d@mn well get around to it immediately. For every question that you responded to with a “b”, you will be awarded one point. No other answers acquire points. Anyone scoring 15 points can expect to be granted an interview.

As I said last week, interviews will be scheduled by employer. Baked goods will be served. BYOB.

 

 

 

PS: A more savory version of this recipe can be seen here: Chicken Brunch Cups.

Toasted PBJ Cups

                                                                         ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
6 slices of bread (I removed the crust)
½ cup peanut butter
¼ cup jelly of your choice
6 marshmallows
6 berries
 
Directions:
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Either spray a 6 cup muffin tin with non-stick spray or grease the cups with butter.
*Using a rolling pin, flatten the bread slices.
*Pinching the sides in, fit the bread slices into the muffin cups. Tamp down the sides and bottom.
*Mix together the peanut butter and the jelly.
*Put a dollop of the peanut butter mixture into each of the 6 bread slices. Press a marshmallow into the center of each.
*Cook for 15 minutes, until the marshmallow is browning.
*Remove from oven, run a knife gently around the sides of each cup and carefully remove from pan.
*Place a berry on the top of each marshmallow.