Friday, April 22, 2016

Fly on the Wall: Can You Count to One?

Welcome to a monthly Fly on the Wall group post. Today 12 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house. At the end of my post you’ll find links to this month’s other participants’ posts.

Oven Roasted Whole Chicken, seasoned, basted, and cooked to perfection. As moist and flavorful as a purchased rotisserie chicken at a much lower cost | recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #chicken #dinner


PurDude was home for about 5 minutes last month. The weather was decent for most of his time here, but on Friday it got really cold. He came down to the kitchen in shorts and I told him it had gotten cold and maybe he should put jeans on. He said he was fine. Whatever.

After dinner it got really cold and he was going out with friends.

Me: Maybe you should change now that it's gotten colder and you're going out.
PurDude: Mom, it's not cold.
Me (grabbing my laptop): Let me just look and see. Yup, it says it's a balmy 38 degrees.
PurDude: I'm fine, Mom.
Me: I think you should go put your bathing suit on. 
PurDude: You're the one who needs a bathing suit.
Me: I'm not warm.
PurDude: But you did just go off the deep end.


Oven Roasted Whole Chicken, seasoned, basted, and cooked to perfection. As moist and flavorful as a purchased rotisserie chicken at a much lower cost | recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #chicken #dinner


Hubs is 6'2" and I'm just 5' tall. The boys are below 6'. PurDude and I were talking about the fact that I think he looks just like my side of the family. 
PurDude: I do wish I'd gotten my height from dad's side of the family.
Me:Yeah, I'm pretty small. Sorry.
PurDude: It's not your fault you're short.
Me: Yeah, but it's my fault you are.



Oven Roasted Whole Chicken, seasoned, basted, and cooked to perfection. As moist and flavorful as a purchased rotisserie chicken at a much lower cost | recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #chicken #dinner

I almost got into a car accident the other day. I was about to pull out of a parking lot onto a side street and was waiting for a car to pass. As it did, I noticed that the woman driving it was . . . well . . . brushing her teeth. I was trying to maneuver up beside her because obviously I needed a picture of this. 

I had almost wound my car up beside hers when what comes next dawned on me and I took a sudden and sharp right turn.

Because, picture or not, beside her was not where I wanted to be when it was time to spit.



Oven Roasted Whole Chicken, seasoned, basted, and cooked to perfection. As moist and flavorful as a purchased rotisserie chicken at a much lower cost | recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #chicken #dinner


Hubs came in the house after work, I'd spent the day baking.

Hubs: Yuck. I'm not eating that.
Me: What do you mean you're not eating that?
Hubs: It's disgusting.
Me: It's for April Fool's Day.
Hubs: I'm still not eating it.
Me: You know it's just a cookie and frosting, right?
Hubs: I don't care what you say, I'm not eating a toilet.
Down the Drain (April Fools) Cookie, a fun April Fools joke and a delicious dessert treat all in one | Recipe by www.BakingInATornado.com | #cookie #dessert #AprilFools

And what was College Boy's reaction? 
College Boy: You need to take that fish out of there, that's cruelty to animals. 

Jeez, it's a decorated cookie. These people need to get a grip {{she says while taking a big bite out of the poop}}.


 Oven Roasted Whole Chicken, seasoned, basted, and cooked to perfection. As moist and flavorful as a purchased rotisserie chicken at a much lower cost | recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #chicken #dinner

College Boy asked me to bake a batch of PB Cup and Oreo Cookies. I pulled them out of the oven and was headed up the stairs when College Boy walked in the house.

College Boy: Can I grab one while they're still warm?
Me: Just one, I'm about to serve dinner.

You know how this went, right? I came downstairs just a minute later and there were five cookies gone.

Me: I guess you need a refresher on how to count to one. 
College Boy: No, I'm fine, I can count to one. In fact, I just did it. Five times.

Oven Roasted Whole Chicken, seasoned, basted, and cooked to perfection. As moist and flavorful as a purchased rotisserie chicken at a much lower cost | recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #chicken #dinner

Oven Roasted Whole Chicken
Oven Roasted Whole Chicken, seasoned, basted, and cooked to perfection. As moist and flavorful as a purchased rotisserie chicken at a much lower cost | recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #chicken #dinner



Moms may have eyes in the back of their heads, but my kids have the same kind of sixth sense when it comes to me doing embarrassing stuff. Especially College Boy. I always get caught by College Boy. That boy rolls his eyes at me more often than people check their cell phones.

I'm in the kitchen, sort of jumping around and sticking towels up my sleeve when I look up to see College Boy standing there, arms crossed, shaking his head.

College Boy: What the hell are you doing?
Me: I spilled orange juice.
College Boy: Up your sleeve?
Me: Well, it was up towards the top of the fridge and when I went to take it down the cap wasn't on tightly and . . .  {{sort of resigned to my fate}} there's nothing I can say here . . . right?

And College Boy just rolls his eyes and walks away.


Oven Roasted Whole Chicken, seasoned, basted, and cooked to perfection. As moist and flavorful as a purchased rotisserie chicken at a much lower cost | recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #chicken #dinner

Our cable was going to be down for an hour on a Saturday morning. I forgot to tell Hubs.

Hubs: Our cable isn't working, did you pay the bill?
Me: Yeah. Sort of.
Hubs: Sort of?
Me: Well, they're a Monopoly. So I paid them in monopoly money. 
Hubs: WHAT? 

Once I saw smoke coming out of his ears, I told him the truth. But jeez, shouldn't this guy know me by now?

Oven Roasted Whole Chicken, seasoned, basted, and cooked to perfection. As moist and flavorful as a purchased rotisserie chicken at a much lower cost | recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #chicken #dinner


I woke up on Easter morning to find I had a new twitter follower. Umm, wait a second. Willie Robertson? That can't be. Not only would he have no idea who I am, but he and I are on complete opposite sides of the spectrum when it comes to beliefs.


New twitter follower . . . or not | www.BakingInATornado.com | #humor #funny

So I look a little closer, realize he's only got a few thousand followers and know this isn't the "real" Willie Robertson.

And now I'm completely confused. Is it better to be followed by the "actual" guy? Or the fake guy? 


Oven Roasted Whole Chicken, seasoned, basted, and cooked to perfection. As moist and flavorful as a purchased rotisserie chicken at a much lower cost | recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #chicken #dinner

Just a few minutes later on the same day I'm sitting in the den drinking coffee when my cell dings. I have a text from FB asking me if I'm OK and telling me how to respond to them. Huh? That made me angry. Who asked them to waste my time texting me? And there's no way I'm answering. It's bad enough FB knows everything I do, when I look at a product online I'm suddenly inundated with FB ads for that exact product. Seems like they know exactly what I'm doing whether I like it or not.

I jump onto FB and there's a message waiting for me there too.

FB text | www.BakingInATornado.com | #humor #funny



So I'm reading the message I've now received twice and it seems that FB, who knows everything I do, thinks I'm in Pakistan.

Can this day get any weirder? Don't answer that.


Now click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:





Baking In A Tornado | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics



Oven Roasted Whole Chicken
                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
1 (5 - 7#) roasting chicken
3/4 stick butter, softened
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp cayenne
1 tsp paprika
OPT: 1 - 1 1/2 cups stuffing of your choice or
OPT: 1 lemon, 1 carrot, 1/2 onion

Directions:
*Note the exact size of your chicken in order to calculate cooking time.
*One hour before cooking, remove chicken from the fridge, rinse inside and out, removing any packets. Pat dry, cover with paper towel and allow to sit, breast side down.
*Also one hour before cooking, mix together the salt, pepper, onion powder, thyme, cayenne and paprika. Sprinkle 2 tsp onto the softened butter. Mash together until the butter is completely infused with the seasonings. Place in fridge.
*Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Line a large baking pan with heavy foil.
*Sprinkle some of the rest of the seasoning mix onto the back of the bird. Turn over and place into baking pan. Remove butter from fridge.
*Carefully, using your hands, create a cavity between the skin and the breast meat. Do not teat the skin. Slice about 1/2 of the butter/seasoning mixture into thin slices. Again carefully using your hands, place the butter slices under the skin. Pace the remaining butter into a small pan and melt.
*Place either the stuffing or aromatics into the cavity of the bird. You may want to pin the cavity closed if using stuffing. Use about 1/3 of the melted butter mixture to baste the skin. Sprinkle with the remaining seasoning mixture.
*Place chicken in the oven and immediately lower temperature to 350 degrees. Bake for 25 minutes pound if stuffed or 20 minutes per pound if you've filled the cavity with the vegetables. Always cook until the juices run clear no matter how you figure out the timing.
*Baste with the remaining butter/seasoning mixture when about 1/3 done and again when about 2/3 done. The last time you baste, if the skin is getting too dark, loosely tent tin foil over the top.
*Chicken is done when the juices run clear. After removing from oven, tent with foil and allow to sit for 10 to 15 minutes.
*Remove the stuffing to a bowl or, if using vegetables, discard them before carving.

24 comments:

  1. Those boys of yours are a trip! I'm rolling on the floor over here, about to die of laughter. That last one though is great. Facebook is a douche.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, FB needs to spend more time minding its own business and less time trying to mind mine.

      Delete
  2. I can't get past -- "she was brushing her teeth" you should have snapped a pic and sent it to the cops! I tend to agreed about the toilet cake -- don't think I could eat that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I was pretty shocked too. I've seen people do a lot of things while driving but not brush their teeth.

      Delete
  3. Loved the deep end and counting to one snippets! Too funny! And your toilet cookie is pretty funny!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad to hear it, I thought the toilet cookie was funny too but I was starting to think I was alone in that.

      Delete
  4. The toilet cookie....O.M.G. Brilliant! So, has Willie Robertson persuaded you to become a zombie enthusiast, yet?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I LOVED that toilet cookie. AND the look on people's faces as they realized what it was.

      Delete
  5. I don't want to upset you, especially on the eve of Passover (I'm having roasted chicken, too, by the way) but is there any possibility that your FB account has been hacked? I speak from experience (not FB, but another account). Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It seems fine to me, is there something I should know?

      Delete
  6. I cannot believe your husband really thought you'd pay the cable bill in Monopoly money. I love your toilet cookie. My big sister and I made a toilet cake for our mum for her 50th birthday. We even put a real toilet brush next to it on the cake platter. (a new one of course)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's so funny, sure hope your mom has a good sense of humor.

      Delete
  7. I was laughing really hard about the "almost accident" because on my way to work this morning, I was brushing my teeth! LOL
    Gorgeous chicken
    So..you moved to Pakistan? That's okay, FB thinks Potato May lives in India near an earthquake. Go figure

    ReplyDelete
  8. I feel I should point out that Mr. Bean perfected mobile-teeth-brushing years ago. He even used windshield washer fluid for the rinse. Now that's talent! Having said that, I'd love to have seen that woman!
    And your kids crack me up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, in retrospect I could have lived without seeing that. I still want to know where she spits, and I don't want to want to know that . . .

      Delete
  9. That's hilarious! I get freaked out by those FB ads too! It's like I think about something and it pops up in an ad. Creepy as hell. I needed a good baked chicken recipe! Thank you my dear!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am certainly glad you are not in Pakistan. I love a nice roasted chicken. College Boy surely has picked up his Mother's sense of humor with her height!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As difficult as this political climate is here in the USA, I'm also quite glad I'm not in Pakistan too!

      Delete
  11. Of all the things they wouldn't eat, it was the toilet cookie? Unbelievable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I cut it up, put it in a container and you bet they ate it. Every bit.

      Delete
  12. that chicken looks tasty, I roast chicken in a slow cooker since our apartment oven sucks. LOve that cookie, I would so take a big bite!!!! When I was younger and stupid, I put on eye makeup in the car...not my finest moments.

    As always your boys crack me up, they are so flipping funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In our day it was "no putting on make up while driving", now it's "no texting and driving". The more things change the more they stay the same.

      Delete

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