Friday, June 22, 2012

Quiche and Monkey Bribe . . .I mean bread!

Which is worse, quiche for dinner or stitches between the eyes?
I always thought I was a decent cook.  Not “food network is knocking at your door” material, but I could hold my own.  As it turns out, I’m worse than a hole in the face.
My first hint came when the kids were little. We were sitting at the table listening to them whine about dinner and in exasperation my husband says “Listen, I eat plenty of things I don’t like around here and you don’t hear me complaining”.  Sheesh, thanks for the help.
But I went along my merry way, until one night, 6 years ago, when I made quiche for dinner.  I remember that it was winter.  My husband was still at work, older son was in the garage skateboarding (as usual), and younger son was watching TV.  Without screaming or crying or fanfare of any kind my older son comes into the kitchen from the garage and says “Mom, mom, look, I hurt myself”.  That was an understatement. There was a hole in his face that I was trying not to throw up in and I could see cartilage.
Turns out in an emergency I panic.  OK, truth be told first I turn off the oven, then I panic.  I convinced younger son, who was unwilling to leave his TV show, that he had to come NOW and we went off in the car.  I’d like to say that we went right to Children’s hospital, but my brain was not functioning.  First we went to where an Urgent Care used to be but it wasn’t there any more, now there was a hospital in its place.  So I left (no, I do not know what the heck I was thinking) and went to a Children’s Urgent Care.  That wasn’t open yet so I went to a third Urgent Care.  We didn’t wait our turn, they took one look at my son and brought him in back.  The doctor said what I actually somewhere in my brain knew, “this is a child’s face, take him to Children’s Hospital”.
At Children’s Hospital they stitched up my son’s face.  Brave Mom that I am, I held his hand (while both facing away and shutting my eyes, just in case).  A few times the Doctor had to move my younger son’s face out of the way as he watched each stitch intently, but eventually cartilage was covered.  Compassionate Mom that I am, the whole way home my kids got to listen to me say over and over “don’t ever do that to Mommy again.  Please, please don’t ever do that to Mommy again”.

Stitches between the eyes, Quiche and Monkey Bribe |

When we got home, I wasn’t thinking about dinner.  I let the kids fix themselves a sandwich whenever they got hungry.  It had been a traumatic evening.  What I didn’t realize is that the boys deemed the episode well worth it to get out of having quiche.  Years later, once I got over the correlation in my head between quiche and stitches and tried again to make quiche, the boys threatened to do something to require stitches to again get out of that particular dinner. 
And that brings us to the Monkey Bread.   I made it once and they loved it.  So now if I want quiche, I just make a Monkey Bread to go with it as a bribe…I mean consolation prize. .. I mean palatable (get it?) option to stitches.  But just for the record, real men DO . . .

Monkey Bread, an ooey gooey, cinnamon treat | recipe developed by | #recipe #breakfast

Monkey Bribe

Baking In A Tornado signature | | #MyGraphics

Monkey Bread

Printable Recipe

16 Rhodes Texas Rolls, semi defrosted enough to cut into quarters
½ small pkg vanilla pudding mix
Melt together:  1 stick butter, 1 cup brown sugar, and 2 tsp cinnamon
*Grease bundt pan.  Roll quarters of texas rolls in pudding mix.  Place into bundt pan.
*Pour melted butter mix over top.  Lay damp towel over top and put into cold oven.  (You may want to put tin foil under pan).
*Leave for 5 hours (or overnight).
*Remove towel and leaving pan in, turn oven on to 350 degrees.  Cook for 30 minutes loosely covering top with foil for last 15 minutes.
*Remove from oven and cook 15 minutes before inverting out of pan.

Cross posted on 8-27-12 on BlogHer


  1. Replies
    1. My kids treat me to this kind of thing daily, come back any time you need a laugh!

  2. Yum - This looks delicious! ... and I am now traumatized from your story ;)

  3. Okay this cracks me up because my hubby and I were just talking about quiche last night! I was telling him it was one of my least favorite things that my mom cooked when I was a kid and my cousin used to sing a song when she would come over that went something like, "Your mom's quiche tastes like barf". Hilarious!!!

  4. This is brilliant!! I have some kids that love quiche, and some that would rather be drawn and quartered. Monkey Bread is PERFECT!!! We only make that on New Years Eve, so this would be soooo awesome :)

    1. I got cheated, I ONLY got the drawn and quartered type, LOL.

  5. I love your husband's quote! And you trying not to throw up in the hole. Great post, thanks for the laughs!

  6. What is Rhodes Texas rolls? Is there a substitute for them? Good gawd, Karen, your house sounds like mine was so many years ago. Suffice it to say our youngest son was on a first name basis with the emergency room crew at the local hospital. The usual greeting was, "Hi, Abbott, you're here again? What now?" :-)

    1. Rhodes is a company that makes frozen bread doughs. Since you know I can't do yeast, I often start with frozen dough and build my recipes from there. Texas rolls are one of the frozen dough options, it's a bag of small round dough balls, and what I use for this recipe.

      So glad I don't have an "Abbott" situation here, don't think my heart could take it.


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