Home Sweet Future Home

I’m building a  home. Yes, in my mind, but I’m still building it, right on my current lot because I love backing up to the woods. And this thing has all the bells and whistles. Because seriously, who would build an imaginary home without all the bells and whistles. My new home will serve as the benchmark by which all future homes are judged.

I can tell you right now, one thing my home will not have is any future gadget designed to bake for you. I bake to relieve stress. I’ve got quite a lot of it. All baking will be done by me. Always.

Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Cups

My future kitchen: Have you ever seen those car turntables that exceedingly rich people who don’t know what to do with their money have in their garages? Apparently backing up is for the less fortunate. These people drive in onto a giant turntable on the floor, a lot like the ones used for records (yes, I remember those), which spins the car around to face out. Well, my kitchen is going to have one, right in front of the pantry. Any time a kid comes looking for a snack it will just slowly turn him around and send him on his way. Arguments in the home will be cut in half.

Trash: I have a trash compactor in my current kitchen. It does a great job of smashing the trash to smithereens. But when the daily trash nugget gets moved to the larger can in the garage, that place smells. Who wants a brand new house where you walk out into a smelly garage every time you leave? Not me. So my new house will have a chute going right from the trash compacter to a hidden underground storage bunker where it will stay until trash day. The bunker may have accidentally been carved down under my neighbor’s yard. No, I have no idea why they have a raccoon problem.

My laundry room: My laundry room will have an iron-(ro)bot to iron all shirts. I cannot tell you how much time I waste ironing creases into shirts (yes, I’m that bad). In my new home, the iron-bot will actually iron them out. Bosses will be so impressed once my husband doesn’t look like he slept in his shirts that they might give him a promotion, and a raise, and a bonus. That iron-bot will pay for itself.

Elevator:  Every multi-floor house should have an elevator, right? My current home has 3 floors but no elevator. My new home will have a very special elevator. It’ll work like a normal elevator except for one feature known only to me. This elevator can be controlled by a secret remote control. In case of emergency I can press a button and the person in the elevator will disappear for whatever amount of time the remote is set for. An hour, a day, a week, throughout the teenage years. . .

Kids’ room cameras:  I try to give my kids privacy. It’s not so much for them as it is for me. I’m afraid that if I knew what they were really doing up there my head would explode. So these are very special cameras. They activate only when the occupant claims that he is doing homework. They may actually be tied to an electric unit in their chair that gives them a little jolt if they’re not, but if that were true I certainly wouldn’t admit it.

Finally, the piece-de-resistence: Believe it or not, my favorite feature is not even in the house. It’s the lawn. It was designed out of necessity because of my next door neighbor, who trained his dog to poo on my lawn instead of his own. This lawn is dog proof. Any time a dog tries to poo on my new lawn the yard itself rejects the poo and teleports it onto the head of the dog owner (giving new meaning to the term “doody-head).

I am a happy woman.

Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Cups
                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:  
24 Ginger Snap Cookies (these need to be approximately the same size as the bottom of a cupcake tin)
2 (8 oz) package of cream cheese, softenend
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 egg yolk
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup mini chocolate chips

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
*Line 24 cupcake tins with cupcake papers.
*Put one cookie, rounded side down, into each cupcake paper. Gently push as far as it'll go to sort of wedge it in, without breaking it.
*Beat cream cheese and brown sugar.
*Beat in eggs, egg yolk and vanilla.
*Mix in chocolate chips.
*Divide cream cheese mixture amongst all 24 cupcake tins.
*Bake for 20 to 25 minutes until set.
*Cool completely. Store in refrigerator.