Baking In A Tornado
Dawn's Disaster
Black Sheep Mom
Indian American Mom
Home on Deranged
Coach Daddy
Just A Little Nutty (Guest Post)
It's Yummilicious
Dates 2 Diapers
Rocks, No Salt Mommy
Crazy As Normal
IBD, Daddy and Me!
That Suburban Momma
My subject is: If you were on the show WIFE SWAP. what rules would you incorporate? It was submitted by: Dates 2 Diapers. Here goes:
I’m not really sure if the intent was for me to list the rules I’d leave for the woman
Dear Wife
Welcome to my home. I hope you’re happy and comfortable during your stay here. But don’t get too comfortable, you’ve got a whole lot of work to do. I fully expect you to live up to your part of this deal and whip this family into shape.
I know that for the first part of your time here you’re supposed to follow my rules. But this family is
*If you want to eat anything while you’re here, I recommend you hide it. Really well.
*Same with car keys. If you want to go anywhere you’ll need to hide those as well.
*If the kids are out somewhere and you want to talk to them, you’ll need to text them. They are unaware of what that sound is that the phone makes and don’t know that they can actually answer it and talk to people.
*If you ask the boys to clean their rooms and they say they’re clean, I recommend you actually look. I would not recommend entering, however, even if your tetanus shots are up to date.
*You’ll save yourself a lot of aggravation if you think of the boys’ curfew like a baby’s due date. They may come early, they may come late, but the chances that they’ll come when you expect them are pretty non-existent.
*When it comes to meals, chances are unless you’re making Pizza or Burgers they won’t like what you make. You can take it personally or not, up to you, but there it is.
*Familiarize yourself with the bar in the living room. And I've left you a recipe for an "adults only" Cosmo Poke Cake.
Cosmo Poke Cake
And now for a few actual rules:
*You’ll need to bake daily. Hordes of teenagers will descend on the house once you can smell the chocolate baking so I recommend you wear your track shoes. And a helmet.
*Be sure to take pictures of what you bake. You’ll need to write a blog post when you’re done. You’ll thank me, blogging = venting and venting = survival.
*Last rule: No swapsies backsies.
Good luck. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Ingredients:
16.25 oz Box White Cake Mix
4 eggs
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup water
½ cup vegetable oil
3 oz box cranberry jello
1 cup boiling water
1/4 cup vodka
2 TBSP Triple Sec
Squirt of lime juice
1 1/2 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup orange juice
3 TBSP powdered sugar
Directions:
*Heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9 X 13 pan.
*Beat cake mix, eggs, sour cream ½ cup water and oil for two minutes.
*Pour into prepared pan and bake for approximately 30 minutes or until the center springs back to the touch.
*Cool completely.
*Using bottom of a wooden spoon, make approximately 40 holes in the cake. Make the holes of different depths but not all the way to the bottom of the pan.
*Stir jello and 1 cup boiling water until the jello dissolves. Stir in the vodka, triple sec and lime juice. Slowly pour over the cake allowing the holes in the cake to fill with the jello.
*Refrigerate one hour.
*Beat cream until soft peaks form. Stir in the orange juice and powdered sugar. Continue beating until firm peaks hold.
*Frost cake. Cover and store in refrigerator.
I can't imagine having to swap lives with another victim for the week.
ReplyDeleteYou house sounds a bit like mine but we don't have the car key trouble until Spring '14.
I will now think of curfew like a baby’s due date.
Does the Cosmo Poke come before or after the tetanus poke? ;)
Excellent Swap! Loved it!
Thanks, Meg. And in the Spring of '14 just remember, I'm here for you.
Delete<3 <3 <3 IT!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd it shows that teenage boys are the same no matter nor place! LOL
Yes, whenever boys are born we should just all give them the middle name "Challenging". All of them. Everywhere.
DeleteLove this post great job, that show has always made me laugh1
ReplyDeleteI've seen bits and pieces of the show but it often makes me cringe so I've never seen a whole one. Not gonna start now either.
DeleteLOL... I bet it would be like when we send them to school. The teacher says "oh little Johnny is my best student, polite, helpful and so neat" you're thinking WHO is this kid? I would watch wife swap if you were on, I'm sure it would make me laugh.
ReplyDeleteThe cake looks yummy!
Yeah, I think I'll pass. I've got enough problems, I don't think I'm strong enough to go take on someone else's.
DeleteWhoa. Triple sec and vodka in a cake?? This is just what I need for this fun-filled day of meeting teachers. You have saved me and I thank you. :-)
ReplyDeleteI had a hard time not just drinking the booze-infused jello, but it was worth it. Hope you try the cake and hope you enjoy it.
Deletethis is hilarious and so true to life--love it except I am not going to wife swap at your house--it sounds too much like my house except my kids are older
ReplyDeleteI don't blame you, I wouldn't want to Wife Swap at my house either, LOL!
DeleteSee? There it is again. A VERY happy reminder that God took my children from me for a good reason. I don't have nearly the amount of sanity needed to perform the miracle of raising boys!
ReplyDeleteHOLY CRUD, I wish I was still a drinker, cuz that cake sounds AMAZING!
I don't have any sanity left and that's BECAUSE I'm raising boys.
DeleteI too pity the sucker who would have to live in my house for two weeks!!
ReplyDeleteAh, this cake, I will definitely make!!
Oh, I hope you make this cake and I hope you love it.
DeleteThat recipe is super easy easy to vegan-ise. YUM and excited to bake it. Also. "No swapsies backsies." Greatness!
ReplyDeleteI'd love to hear how to vegan-ise the cake. I do hope you make it, well worth the time and energy.
DeleteI'm laughing so hard I can't breathe! This was brilliant.
ReplyDeleteI've said this before, but you scare the shit out of me with your stories and the knowledge that soon, my boys will be teens.
-The Insomniacs Dream
Brace yourself and stock up on the booze, you're getting close.
DeleteAnd when it comes, I'm here for ya.
I might just feel right at home there because your house sounds like mine. Must be a teenage boy thing. If nothing else, I'll just stand in the kitchen all day and stuff my face with that yummy cake!
ReplyDeleteOh, that yummy cake ALMOST makes you forget it all!
DeleteI loved it. I left it open for debate. To see if you would choose the new rules, or your rules. I loved you chose the rules for your house.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you liked what I did with your prompt. It was a fun one.
DeleteYour guidebook sounds a lot like mine would. Although, I might just condense it and say: "Survival Guide: throw food at them and run".
ReplyDeleteThat is too funny. I think because it's so damn true!
DeleteNo swapsies backsies, that's brilliant. You better just hope that her family is easier to deal with than yours. You may have been the better wife and mum in that swap.
ReplyDeleteI can almost gurantee that her family is easier to deal with than mine. I'm sticking to my no swapsies backsies!
DeleteLove the rules,,,,, just make surw she's got a name tag,,, so they can figure out who she is,,,,,, if and when they notice it's not you,,,,, and I cant w a it to try the new poke cake,,,, think I'm going to adjust the icing,,, reduce the oj to 1/4 cup and add 1/4 cup of whipped cream vodka! ! YUM !
ReplyDeleteEveryone keeps telling me to try that Whipped Cream Vodka. Every time I go to the store I get so distracted with the bazillion flavors of vodka I forget what I went in there for. If you try it, let me know what you think.
DeleteHaha! That is awesome!! Teenage boys? I wouldn't last!!
ReplyDeleteI'm not lasting all that well myself, I'm afraid to say.
DeleteOMG... I would love to come to your house just to hang out and watch your boys in action...I think it would be funny and educational. All those rules and warnings...that poor swapper, LOL.
ReplyDeleteIDK, Karen, that may be information overload. Sometimes you're better off not really knowing what's ahead . . .
DeleteHahaha....I can't imagine trying to just move in with someone else's family...would make for good blogging though:)
ReplyDeleteEven imagining it got me thinking enough to put together a post!
DeleteGave you a cool award today babe... go check it out...snickers...
ReplyDeleteI saw it. Never thought I'd be saying this to anyone but thanks for the boob!
DeleteYour blog makes me happy. Love it. I love reading it and I even get to try some new recipes my husband doesn't know about yet....which is bonus for me because he's the better cook, baker, creator of food - in our house.....
ReplyDeleteWow. Hope you don't mind if I print that and frame it and put it on my fridge.
DeleteHa! My husband and I have actually joked occasionally about doing a wife swap with some different sets of our friends. I don't think we would ever actually do it, but it's fun to think about. I love your rules!
ReplyDeleteHa ha, I can't do it with friends, it's harder to run away from them . . .
DeleteI love this new take on a cocktail cake! Sounds yummy :)
ReplyDeleteWe enjoyed it, hope you try it.
DeleteI think that doing the wife swap would be so much fun. Loved your post on it, your house would be a fun one to come to.
ReplyDeleteFunny, I think it would be more fun to escape from my house than come to it.
DeleteLOL. I would not want to swap out with anyone. I don't know if they would survive my crazy life. Still, I think your place would be fun. Just be sure to leave some of that Cosmo Poke Cake!
ReplyDeleteEverything's fun with a Cosmo Poke Cake!
DeleteYou always put a smile on my face!! Too funny!!!!! I always have a pitcher of cosmos in my freezer. Perhaps I should add some to a cake, too!!
ReplyDeleteYou always have a pitcher of Cosmos in your freezer? I'm headed to your house.
Delete. . . and no swapsies backsies! Bwahahahah! Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteHey, that was the most important part!
Delete