So in the spirit of “nothing ventured, nothing gained” or out of sheer delusion, believe whatever version you want, I’ve decided to give it a try:
Once upon a time there was a beautiful, talented, intelligent woman who lived in a home she had decorated to be lovely. She cooked and she baked and she kept all of her family members organized and the household running smoothly.
In that home lived her husband and her two precious boys. And the heart of that home was the kitchen. Just off the kitchen was a den where, in the evenings as she made dinner, she would put the TV on and listen to the news. She was happy.
One day, as she was making dinner she heard a basketball game come on the television. she looked up and found her husband had come in and changed the channel. “We have a bajillion televisions in this house, go watch another one. I had the news on” she said. To which he held up the remote and answered "the holder of the remote rules the world.”
The next day, as she was making dinner she heard a cartoon come on the television. she looked up and found her younger son had come in and changed the channel. “We have a bajillion televisions in this house, go watch another one. I had the news on” she said. To which he held up the remote and answered "the holder of the remote rules the world."
The third day, as she was making dinner she heard a movie come on the television. she looked up and found her older son had come in and changed the channel. “We have a bajillion televisions in this house, go watch another one. I had the news on” she said. To which he held up the remote and answered "the holder of the remote rules the world.”
That night she served Chili and Smoky Cornbread for dinner. Being the sweet and caring wife and mom that she was, she wanted to be sure that her family got as much fruit into their diet as she could manage. So she pureed some prunes and added them to the chili. Everyone loved their dinner and all was well.
Smoky Cornbread
About a half hour after dinner, by some bizarre coincidence, all three of her family members were in different bathrooms. From 3 different floors of her home, she could hear her loving family call out to her “hey, where’s all the toilet paper?”
Moral of the story: It is not, in fact, the holder of the remote who rules the world.
So there’s my fairy tale. What do you think? I should quit my day job, right?
Smoky Cornbread
©www.BakingInATornado.com
Ingredients:
1 stick butter, softened
½ cup sugar
4 eggs
16 oz can creamed corn
1 cup flour
1 cup cornmeal
4 tsp baking powder
½ tsp salt
½ tsp cumin
½ tsp chili powder
small can chopped green chilis
1 1/4 cup shredded sharp cheddar
2 chopped green onions
1/3 cup cooked, crumbled bacon bits
Directions:
*Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease a 9 X 13 glass baking dish.
*Cream butter and sugar. Beat in eggs.
*Mix in corn, then the flour, cornmeal, baking powder, salt, cumin and chili powder. Once that’s all incorporated, mix in the chilis, cheese, onions and bacon.
*Pour into the greased dish.
*Bake for approximately 45 minutes.
Looks delicious! And even better, it has bacon in it! Bacon makes everything taste better! I'm with you on the tp thing!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm with you on the bacon thing!
DeleteOH my Gosh I totally didn't see that ending coming! LOLOL. I loved this! It is always SHE who holds the spatula that rules the world!
ReplyDeleteYes, and she who stocks the toilet paper as well!
DeleteI absolutely loved it!! I just had a similar issue last night. I was laying in bed, watching TV, when the husband comes in and changes the channel to football. Um...excuse me, but I was watching the news, I was here first.
ReplyDeleteGuess who won.
He did.
Men.
Ha. Head to the kitchen, Sarah, and show him who's boss!
DeleteAlternate moral: Tread carefully when the queen is also the royal cook. Very carefully.
ReplyDeleteSorry, but I'm going to make sure my wife never sees this story. The last thing I need is for her to get any ideas for how she can “exercise her authority”.
Ha, Vinny, I'm actually going to take that as a compliment!
DeleteOh my goodness, I love this!! I may have to read this as tonight's family bedtime story.... ;)
ReplyDeleteHA. Let me know how that goes!
DeleteProof that women hold all the critical thinking skills! You are BRILLIANT, Karen. Brilliant. Your cornbread looks awesome too :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lorinda. Don't know about the brilliance, I'm thinking it's just good old fashioned genetics.
DeleteBahahahaha! I just love you Karen! That cornbread looks awesome. I may try it tomorrow, to go with our ribs and baked beans.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a perfect dinner! Let me know how you like it.
DeleteAnother "great" one....with thanks
ReplyDeleteThanks for the support. Love return readers.
DeleteDo not quit your day job…you do it so well! LOVE this!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Betsy, this was a fun one.
DeleteI thought this blog was your day job. LOL! Love the ending. Great twist.
ReplyDeleteHa, you're right, it is!
DeleteThanks-So great!
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading!
DeleteCan't. Stop. Laughing!!!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you liked it!
DeleteThis was so funny - I loved it!!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Dawn. I loved writing it.
DeleteHilarious!! When will they learn? When the Mama is happy...EVERYBODY is happy!! ;)
ReplyDeleteExactly. Couldn't have said it better myself.
DeleteBazinga! You are brilliant.
ReplyDeleteWow, very high praise (and love the Sheldon reference). Thanks, Sharon.
DeleteThanks for this! You did make me crack a smile! You know what my response to channel changing when I'm cooking is? "you don't want to mess with the cook do you?" :)
ReplyDeleteSo glad you smiled. Hope your funk lifts soon.
DeleteVery funny! "he" may hold the remote but momma rules the kitchen. And you never ever ever make the person mad who prepares your food! LOL
ReplyDeleteYes! My moral exactly!
DeleteI love it! That cornbread sounds good, too :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the support, Bernadette.
DeletePublish! Publish! Publish! I have read thousands of children's books over the years. This one would definitely get a laugh. You are adorable. As always, (even though I hide) I'm over here cheering for you. I hope you know that :)
ReplyDeleteWell, I DO need to come up with about 25 more of these Fairy Tales, but I'm sure going to give it a try.
DeleteThat was too great for words!!!!! And so true!!!!! ROFLOL!!! Love it!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Stacy. So glad you laughed.
DeleteFlippin' hysterical! Thanks for the great cornbread recipe, too. It's on my "must have" list!
ReplyDeleteGoes great with the soup you posted this week. We make a great pair.
DeleteIf you do quit your day job you can make me a lot of that delicious looking cornbread in your free time!
ReplyDeleteHa, great alternate plan, Phil!
DeleteOMG...I can't stop laughing...what a great story and lesson...that is awesome!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLove your new header babe...
So glad you enjoyed the story. And the header was a great surprise gift. How lucky is that?
DeleteHaha! That is the truth, my friend...
ReplyDeleteThought you'd appreciate this one!
DeleteHahahaha That was brilliant! More please! And yes, the corn bread too!
ReplyDeleteSo much fun to write, more are definitely in my plans.
Delete